Why do I (we?) do this to myself?

Submitted by GoodLuckVarsity on October 11th, 2017 at 12:02 AM

I was absolutely devastated after the MSU game. I truly can't think of a stronger word than devastated. I had a two mile walk back to my car, and I was 100% soaked - had I jumped in a pool it would not have made me more wet. My phone was waterlogged and was completely destroyed. On Saturday night, I literally had nightmares about the game. Sunday was no better. By Monday, I had regained some semblance of functionality, and by today, I felt decent, at least somewhat like myself again. Then the US debacle happened, and the World Cup I've been buzzing about since the final whistle against Belgium in 2014 evaporated into thin air.

I truly don't think I have ever had such a profound combined reaction to a pair of sporting events than I've had toward the MSU game and the World Cup failure.  I don't know if this is normal or if I'm unique in terms of the depth of my misery (and I suppose the validity of this question hinges on the answer to that question), but... for all of you who are like me: why do I do this to myself? Why do you do this to yourselves?

For Michigan, it's been 13 years since the last Big Ten championship, 20 years since the last National Championship (for reference, I am in my early 30s, so this drought is especially significant when compared to how long I've been alive). On the USMNT side, we've never been relevant in international soccer, and the successes worth celebrating have been few and far between.  Clearly, the ratio of success to failure among the teams I'm most passionate about is grossly skewed toward the negative.

So I guess the question is... what keeps you coming back? Why are you still here 3 days after a gut-wrenching loss hitting F1 and begging for more?  I am genuinely interested in hearing responses from others who consider themselves to be in the same boat as myself.

(To those for whom this delves too far into the realm of the touchy-feely: feel free to neg away. As you can see, I've been registered here for quite awhile and never bothered much with the pursuit of points)


Da Fino

October 11th, 2017 at 10:11 AM ^

Can we just stop with the self-loathing and self-pity?  Enough of that shit!  It's sport, and nothing is deserved, although we continue to think and act like it is.

Why do you do that to yourself?  I don't know man.  But it's your choice since you are a sentient being with the ability to exercise agency.  If you see a shrink, ask them for a more nuanced answer.


October 11th, 2017 at 12:08 AM ^

Been a diehard my whole life. Saw the Hail Mary in person, saw Webber call the timeout, saw app state...next day still 100% fan. What keeps me coming back is, I NEVER FUCKING LEFT!

Go Blue and suck it up. There are highs and lows


October 11th, 2017 at 7:47 AM ^

I go further back, so I saw Mike Lantry miss those field goals, Archie Griffin drop the ball before he crossed the goal line, Eddie Brown mug Desmond in the end zone on my 30th birthday, Spartan Bob, and the foul that wasn't against Louisville.

But then I've also seen the Higgins put back in the last seconds, Rumeal's free throws, Henne's TD drive against Staee that took less than a minute and led to the comeback win, Touchdown Tim's 313 yards against tosu, Bob Griese's voice cracking on air because his son just won the NC, along with the other things that we mentioned by others.

Good/bad, triumph/failure, elation/heartbreak - I've been seeing this stuff since I was 10 years old, and will continue to see it until I die. But no matter what I see, it's still my school. It's still my team. I ain't going anywhere.

Go Blue.


October 11th, 2017 at 9:49 AM ^

I've been a Michigan fan for over 50 years.  My oldest brother went to Michigan and took me to games when I was pretty young.  So, I've seen just about every high and low that's happened since the mid-60s.  Bo had some down years and fans complained about every game he lost.  No matter what, I will be a Michigan fan and I'll always be watching when the games are played.  Some years things work out (1997), some years they don't (1984).  By the way, Michigan has historically had trouble whenever the #2 QB has to play.  We rarely have depth at QB.  Harbaugh is building up position depth, but it will take time.


October 11th, 2017 at 11:37 AM ^

I thought as long as the stick didn't go over shoulder height it was legal.  Did they specifically change the rule?

80.1 Paragraph 5 states:

"Cradling the puck on the blade of the stick (like lacrosse) above the normal height of the shoulders shall be prohibited and a stoppage of play shall result. If this is done by a player on a penalty shot or shootout attempt, the shot shall be stopped immediately and considered complete."


October 11th, 2017 at 11:25 AM ^

I totally agree that the self pity is annoying and is a choice.  Don't want to feel like crap?...let it go.  Stop being so addicted to your social media and exercise some restraint.  Exercise, meditate, get outside in nature, play with your dog, whatever.  That being said, I will add that if you're in your mid 30's to probably your mid 40's, you are likely in a frustrated place for UM football. 


You grew up in the era of the late 80s to early 2000s where UM more than likely dominated OSU.  You also saw some amazing talents like Woodson, Howard, Brady, etc.  You saw a national champtionship and 2 Heismans.  That was what you grew up with and what you came to expect.  Then, Tressel became the OSU coach and things have never been the same since.  It was gradual and that is not an exact time.  There were a lot of decisions and moments that impacted it, but that's a good estimate of the beginning of the end of what that generation came to expect when comparing ourselves to our most similar conference foe and biggest rival.


Happiness is the difference between your expectaions and your reality.  If you grew up in the 90s your expectation is to beat OSU and compete for a conference championships.  That is clearly not happening and has not been for a while.  Now, it's just a matter of well you can accept life as it is versus how you want it to be.

George Pickett

October 11th, 2017 at 12:42 AM ^

Don't be offended by this, but if you're so emotionally invested in sports that you're having nightmares and essentially letting it control your life, you may want to consider getting a bit of help. It seems as though you've tied your self-worth to the results in an unhealthy way.  

At the very least, you should force yourself to take some time away from watching.


October 11th, 2017 at 12:48 AM ^

Eh, maybe I sensationalized that part too much. I had a nightmare where my roommate mowed me down with a riding lawnmower, but I still live with him and I still mow the lawn. It isn't like losses prevent me from being a functioning human being - I still go to work, I still bathe myself, I don't snap at random strangers in the supermarket. It just... feels bad, man. More often than it feels good. That's all I'm trying to get at. Mathematically, it doesn't seem to shake out, yet here I am.


October 11th, 2017 at 5:40 AM ^

you, this shit hits me hard to. There is a unique fandom about Michigan sports, football in particular. If you care, you care a lot, and there isn’t an off switch. My wife was genuinely pissed at me on Saturday for “making her a Michigan football fan” because of how losses feel. You can try not to watch or care about Michigan, but if you have the bug to the extent you describe it is not going anywhere. There is always “the next thing” though. In this case the next thing is the divisional race. We need to keep winning games and if we do, who knows. It looked literally impossible for State to win the 2015 conference title after the Nebraska game, Franklin was basically a lame duck last year after the Michigan game. Weird shit happens. Then the next thing, UM basketball starts up in about a month. The UM basketball team that beat State by 30 points and won the BTT. Then the next thing, we go down to South Bend and beat up on the Irish. That is tradition. On to the next thing.

BlueSpiceIn SEC.hell

October 11th, 2017 at 12:17 PM ^

during the RR years was "Oh, that is why football Saturday is not as important to Illinois (or other less accomplished programs)Alumni"

I had never seen that lack of success in my lifetime from Michigan football.

Which reinforced how great Michigan fans and schools with great sports programs have it. We are the "Super Bowl" for other schools.

It is a BIG deal if another school beats us. Because we are a successful program/ benchmark program.

Just like us, this week, it hurts like hell for Oklahoma fans to lose as a huge favorite. It is phenomenal if you are a Cyclone. ISU, they have not had a legacy of great football. But Oklahoma is still Oklahoma and they are a benchmark program.

As a Michigan fan we have seen a LOT of good and Great...and some bad and some heartbreak.

I bleed Blue, but as dopugr188 said - we just need to keep perspective. 



I Love Lamp

October 11th, 2017 at 1:47 PM ^

Because I live in enemy territory. They haven’t been as bad as usual, because

1) They realize what team could win with a -5 turnover mark
2) Unfortuneately, they may expect it now

It took me until my first child was born if I’m being honest before I changed. Sports and my teams, especially Michigan, still matter to me, and I’m still invested in them, but they take a major backseat to day-to-day life. Before kids, I probably had an unhealthy obsession.

But of all games, unless it’s a championship game, this game eats at me the most, because I have to hear about it for the next year. And everywhere you turn around here, there’s a Spartan...sigh


October 11th, 2017 at 10:03 AM ^

still kind of ruin my weekend (and portions of the next week for particularly difficult ones) but for me it is just about compartmentalizing it better.  I am not in the same boat as the people who are responding with "it is just a game it is not real life."  It is part of my real life.  I would not want it any other way.  Some people like boats.  Some people go fishing.  I love family, holidays, golf, good food, and Michigan sports.  My family waits all year for college football season to come around.  My wife and I love watching it and being a part of it, cooking for it, etc.

I don't think age has made bad losses easier, it is just about maturity and being able push the disappointment around until it fades.  I have found that it helps not to drink as well.  Not, like, never.  Just not on Saturdays.  Remaining sober on gameday makes every win better and every loss more tolerable.  There is nothing worse than the double hangover (real hangover and Michigan loses hangover). Winning the following Saturday helps too.  Fingers crossed.


October 11th, 2017 at 9:58 AM ^

as you continue to age you will find your anger and being demoralized decreasing. I used to live and die by what UM did every Saturday. When they would lose I would be upset for several days afterwards. Now that I'm older I realize it really is just a game and there are a lot more important things in life.

Sure I cheer and hate seeing a loss. But now I get over it really quickly and move on with life. Even getting to the point where I don't plan my Saturday's around a football game. I almost think it's unhealthy to be that obsessed with it anymore.  Like someone suggested maybe take a break from it and find something else to do during games for a while. You might find you get away from it enough you won't miss it and realize life is still really great and there are other things to do and enjoy.


October 11th, 2017 at 12:24 AM ^

We just have to accept Michigan will never be more than a top 20 team for at least the next 3-4 years.

Ohio State surpassed us in the early 2000's and we will never catch them unless they themselves fuck up majorly and State is the best football team in the State largely because they recruit tougher guys than us and have a better coach who wouldve won 2-3 national titles with the talent Hoke and Harbaugh had/have. It is what it is

Get a Grip

October 11th, 2017 at 3:07 AM ^

You're either a defeatist clown or a troll. I honestly hope for your sake that you're a troll not only because of your point total, but because somebody with as pathetic an outlook as you probably makes your own life unbearable. Tell me, when you get out of bed in the morning, does your head touch your knees due to the utter lack of backbone? On the other hand, maybe it's permanently stuck up your ass.

We finished 11th/12th two years ago, and 10th last year. We were a few balls bouncing the other way from being undefeated last year, and only lost to MSU two years ago due to a one in a million fluke. This year, we lost by a mere four points in a monsoon while being -5 in turnover margin. We could easily be 3-0 against MSU, and should be 2-1 at worst. Last year, we were a couple of turnovers (or a fairly officiated game) from beating Ohio State, who you apparently worship. Spare me your pathetic garbage about "TOP 20 TEAM AT BEST THE NEXT 3-4 YEARS!" Calling State the "best football team in the state" with superior coaching and tougher players is absolute nonsense, they went 3-9 last year for God's sake. If Newsome didn't have a freak accident in which he almost lost his leg last year, we'd be completely fine right now, and I find it laughable to write off the possible impact of McCaffrey given our quarterback play.

I don't know whether you should secretly belong to Eleven Warriors or the RCMB, probably the latter, but you surely don't belong here. Give me a break. If you have a Michigan flag flying on your flag pole, do us all a favor and fly up a white flag instead, it's a lot more fitting for you and the rest of us won't have to be associated with you any more, you pitiful joke of a "fan."