OT: Into the Jaws of the Enemy (Or my wife's first trip to the Horseshoe)
Hi All!
As shared previously, my house is truly a house divided. Wife, 6 kids and I, and split right down the middle: 4 OSU fans, 4 Michigan fans.
With that out of the way, my wife is unfortunately one of the OSU fans.
Her bday is coming up, and she is notoriously hard to buy for. However, I overheard her sharing with her parents that she's NEVER been to an OSU Football Game.
To show I'm observant and give good gifts, I got her (us) tickets to next week's OSU vs. TOLEDO game UTL. (Yeah, I'm good husband #humblebrag)
The "sacrifice" of wading into the cesspool that is OSU gameday, is at least partially mitigated by them playing Toledo - my alma mater and where I played.
My last experience with Toledo vs. OSU was where Bruce Gradkowski lined up behind the guard the first play of the game, OSU fans pouring beer on Toledo fans, guys wanting to fight me, and being general a-holes even though Toledo back then was not good.
TL;DR - I am looking for help with PARKING. Especially going there at night where I am unfamiliar AND will be repping some Toledo gear - hoping someone can offer up the best (and safest) locations for us to park.
TYIA for any and all assistance! My OSU friends aren't that helpful, as might be expected. LOL
#GoBlue!
#EvenIfItsToledo
September 9th, 2022 at 2:14 PM ^
“Heres some tickets hun. Hope the 4 of you have fun!”
September 9th, 2022 at 3:02 PM ^
Hmm...sounds...intriguing. LOL
September 9th, 2022 at 3:04 PM ^
Godspeed.
September 9th, 2022 at 10:00 PM ^
"I packed your cooler in the trunk"
September 9th, 2022 at 10:59 PM ^
Why would you pack a toilet
September 10th, 2022 at 12:02 PM ^
Where else is she going to find a cooler when trouble hits?
September 9th, 2022 at 2:15 PM ^
Also hoping for a Rockets victory, but this year probably won't be it.
September 9th, 2022 at 2:16 PM ^
why did you marry an OSU fan in the first place? Bleh
September 9th, 2022 at 2:24 PM ^
There was a commercial about this exact sort of thing!
September 9th, 2022 at 5:58 PM ^
Without sports, it wouldn’t be gross.
September 9th, 2022 at 2:57 PM ^
And how did you allow some of your children to migrate to the dark side? Seems very clear who your favorites are...nice to only have to pay for 3 college educations!
September 9th, 2022 at 3:08 PM ^
Ha!
Well some of them came pre-brainwashed.
It's my "mythical second marriage".
I have 3, she has 2, we have 1 together.
She already had made her kids lifetime Buckeyes - although my stepson could probably go anywhere for college including UM-Ann Arbor. Maybe that will get him to change!
September 9th, 2022 at 3:32 PM ^
So by my count it should be 5 for the good guys and 3 for the nuts. Unless you let her have control of the youngest...maybe it isn't too late for that one? Tip the scales in the right direction.
September 9th, 2022 at 5:10 PM ^
I'm sure it will sound weird, but he is 7 and autistic.
He doesn't care who wins, he just enjoys football (he begged to watch NFL opener last night despite no rooting interest).
As such, we have "traded him" back and forth each year depending on who wins THE GAME.
As you might imagine, he's been a Buckeye all his life until this past year! He's a Wolverine if and until the rivalry swings the other way.
Let's KEEP it that way!
September 9th, 2022 at 2:58 PM ^
I almost decided to get engaged to an OSU fan about 10 years ago. And by fan, she merely went to OSU and was not really into football/sports, so it wasn't bad. She was a great girl, really grounded, and had an overall great family from the Cleveland area. But her family were super rabid OSU fans, and I just couldn't do it.
I'm sure several people here have been in serious relationships, but there was just something off (sometimes its minor, sometimes its quirky) that prevented you from taking to the next level. This was one of those types of relationships for me.
September 10th, 2022 at 12:03 AM ^
I turned 37 a few days ago, and I’ve got 2 young kids, so my priorities have shifted a lot the past few years, but I’ve been married for 10 years and I can tell you that when I was 26 (my age when I got married) there was zero chance in hell I’d even consider marrying a Buckeye. Hopefully you see that as a good choice in your life.
September 12th, 2022 at 3:06 PM ^
Id hope you still feel similar at the age of 37.
September 9th, 2022 at 4:11 PM ^
It happens! John Wangler - everyone remembers Johnny Wangler, right? - married an OSU cheerleader.
September 9th, 2022 at 4:27 PM ^
But then 'Wangler Trek-The Next Generation' stayed with the 〽️ Federation rather than joining osu, the Romulans, Klingons, Gorns, Xindi, Cardassians, Andorians, The Borg, or any other diabolical alien race.
September 10th, 2022 at 12:19 AM ^
I assumed most OSU fans married blow up sheep! She married above her class.
September 10th, 2022 at 2:41 AM ^
I've spent enough time on Reddit to recognize a weird fetish when I see it...
September 9th, 2022 at 2:16 PM ^
OSU fans can't read so they were likely triggered by Toledo's color scheme
September 9th, 2022 at 2:27 PM ^
A better gift would have been a Dick in a Box…
September 9th, 2022 at 3:05 PM ^
Or some Dicken's Cider
September 9th, 2022 at 4:28 PM ^
Zach Smith cornered that market already.
September 9th, 2022 at 2:28 PM ^
Hopefully, you also got half the family shirts to wear to the game that say "42-27".
September 9th, 2022 at 2:41 PM ^
This is tricky. To begin, you have to realize they are going to have the area heavily fortified. I would not expect to just drive right into a parking spot, here. Second, you want to use some deception in terms of precisely when and where you are going to arrive. It might not be a bad idea to use a decoy vehicle first. Third, you should be heavily armed. Primary weapon and one on your ankle at least, and a vest is probably advisable.
Come on man, it is a September football game against Toledo. Park in a junky parking lot nearby for $30 and walk to the stadium.
September 9th, 2022 at 3:04 PM ^
Did you read my OP?
Went like 25 years ago for OSU vs. Toledo.
They were not...pleasant. And that was for a NOON game where the Cooler Poopers haven't had all day to drink themselves into oblivion yet.
September 9th, 2022 at 7:43 PM ^
If you've been there and are going back then it's all on you. Give your ticket to her father and bow out.
September 9th, 2022 at 2:45 PM ^
Sounds like a blast. Spend several hundred dollars, endure harassment, risk life, limb, damage to car, and then have to listen to those deadbeats cheer for their loathsome team. I'd rather chew my arm off and beat myself with it. Good luck!
September 9th, 2022 at 2:46 PM ^
If I were you I would not wear any Toledo gear. UM gear should work. Also, you can use the whole stadium as a toilet. Just kidding...
Have fun at the game. I am sure you guys will have a blast.
Look at the bright side. They are going to win and your wife will be happy. Isn't that the most important thing in the world?
September 9th, 2022 at 10:03 PM ^
Had never thought about it much, but it's more aptly described as a toilet seat lid than a bowl, am I right?
September 9th, 2022 at 2:48 PM ^
You lost me when you said, "My OSU friends..."
September 9th, 2022 at 2:49 PM ^
Well, it has been 18 years since I've attended a game there, so my advice will be limited, but the few times I went I parked northwest of the Stadium across the 315 on Lane Ave. Do they still have lots of parking there? What's the cost? I have no idea. That's just what worked for me, YMMV. If you go early enough (and I recommend that quite a bit) you should be fine to spend a little time looking for the right place. Other thoughts:
First of all, be prepared to be feel ill at multiple points through the day. It is genuinely stomach-churning to see all the paraphernalia and hear the cheers and fight songs and such.
Second of all, determine to have a good time anyway, because college football is America's greatest game, and it can genuinely be fun to enjoy all that stuff. Go early enough to see the marching band, enjoy watching the game play out on the field, laugh at any boneheaded OSU mistake you can find (they will not be frequent but laugh anyway). Appreciate the fact that we get to watch this great sport in person and that there really isn't anything quite like it, whether it's Ann Arbor or Baton Rouge or College Station or Knoxville or even, gulp, there.
September 9th, 2022 at 4:17 PM ^
it's not a coincidence that ohio wears red, satan's favorite color....
columbus is in fact the 666th plane of hell in dante's inferno. even looks like a horseshoe.
September 9th, 2022 at 6:41 PM ^
What does Joe Biden's "Unifying Address Speech" have to do with the conversation at hand?
September 10th, 2022 at 7:08 AM ^
I actually know a few very kind, intelligent Satanists. They're even smart enough not to be fans of an Ohio state university.
September 9th, 2022 at 2:57 PM ^
My Toledo Rockets experience took place the Friday night at a home game upset of Colorado before UTL1. Went on a whim - walked up and paid $50 for (2) tickets. Student section was rocking. Walking into the game invited to beer bong from Rocket fans we never met. Great win for the Rockets. Of course sitting in the student section for UTL1 and making the ND fan stay for over an hour after that last 90 seconds is an incredible Michigan memory.
Great weekend!
September 9th, 2022 at 2:58 PM ^
Unfortunately- I was there last week for the ND game as the woman who I am related to through marriage is a fan of that team.
OSU has employed a ‘hype’ man on the sidelines, to fire up the crowd. I thought this only happened at minor league baseball games or possibly MAC football games.
Also - do not wear anything maize/blue, as this will cause many drunken fans confront you…this draws a larger crowd of morons immediately, looking for a fight. I witnessed this when some unsuspecting kid visiting his OSU girlfriend mistakenly wore a WVU jersey. I watch people come out of a bar to inform him he can’t wear those colors around there.
Good luck and hopefully you can wash the stink of that area off of you quickly afterwards!!!
September 9th, 2022 at 3:04 PM ^
Do they let you bring unopened non-alchoholic drinks into The Shitter? If so bring 3 cans of pop and a pillow case.
September 9th, 2022 at 3:06 PM ^
Drive around campus until you find a strong foul smell that's something like hot plastic, poop, and maybe a little bit of ammonia. Where the smell is the strongest there you will find the most epic tailgating...er parking spot.
Live long and prosper my friend!
September 9th, 2022 at 3:11 PM ^
As someone who is a UofM fan and has 3 kids who went to Michigan but lives 1.5 miles from the horseshoe, I can kind of help you out. Last game I went to was the 2016 stolen game. The OSU fans were not mean even though we were wearing Michigan gear. I would recommend you park on West Campus and take the bus to the Stadium. Good luck and Go Rockets!
September 9th, 2022 at 3:33 PM ^
Thanks! First constructive response! LOL
September 9th, 2022 at 3:49 PM ^
It makes sense you’re repping Toledo, having played and all.
But if you want to deprogram your wife from her unfortunate cult, wear maize & blue and she’ll see the true nature of those who’ve deluded her.
ALSO you’ll need to sit a few seats from her. If you’re next to her, they’ll pity her and only give you the “polite” treatment. (Notice easyE got off easy(E) because he had kids with him.)
September 9th, 2022 at 4:05 PM ^
Well, my advice would have been to do what I did - marry a Northwestern grad, that way the trips to "the other stadium" are at least cordial and unintimidating. Indeed, even pleasant, and the number of Michigan fans / alums that turn out for games in Evanston is rather impressive.
September 9th, 2022 at 4:26 PM ^
and if the game in Evanston is played in colder weather the sound of all the lawyers clapping with their Prada gloves is kind of quaint.
September 9th, 2022 at 4:55 PM ^
Logged in just to upvote, even if I am a Bvlgari glove man myself.
September 9th, 2022 at 10:14 PM ^
Love that stadium, it’s like high school plus (not TX or CA sized, in a good way) and you fell like you’re on the field.