111 Reasons to HATE Notre Dame....

Submitted by Rescue_Dawn on September 10th, 2009 at 10:06 PM
I wanted to thank everyone for their input on this post.....it was freakin hilarious.  I went ahead and consolidated everything, and this is my first diary post....so bare with me on the formatting b/c I will be fixing it in a "trial and error" method.  Any suggestions on enhancing this list will be appreciated.

1  Touchdown Jesus
2  Because The University of Michigan is better than Notre Dame. End of story
3  They have an Irish Mascot but their name is French. WTF?
4  Because Notre Dame made some Michigan fan make this horrible website.
5  Phantom PI calls.
6  The fact that they claim God is on their side when most of their best players aren't even Catholic.
7  Urban Meyer!!!! Jon Gruden!!!! BEST JOB EVAAA
8  Stealing perfectly good/talented prospects and turning them into underachieving sallys.
9  Those shitty slash marks that they paint in the endzone...
10  Brady Quinn's hot sister marrying a buckeye

11  How about 2005 Henne-sneak touchdown that was somehow missed while a 5yard random penalty on ND was called, then Henne fumbled the next sneak.
12  South Bend is the undeserved home of the College Football Hall of Fame
13  Because Hawaii should not be used to go over .500.
14  Hogging the use of 'return to glory' for like a decade and not allowing a more deserving team to use it.
15  No Excuses
16  They got their uniforms from Navy
17  Bud Light: Real Men of Genius - Hopeless Notre Dame Fan
19  Pedophilic priests
20  Lack of conference and a TV contract big enough to feed their coach
21  "The most underrated coach in America..."
22  Potato famine...too soon?
23  Is "golden" a first name?
24  Firing Ty Willingham for going 21-15 over 3 seasons but keeping Charlie Weis despite going 29-21 over 4 seasons and claiming race has nothing to do with it.
25  Games against Michigan could go either way, but they find a way to lose to [TEAM REDACTED] every year


27  The Grotto
28  Because I can't eat Lucky Charms for breakfast the week of the UM-ND game.

29  The fact that the Fighting Illini are insulting to Native Americans, but the Fighting Irish are totally cool.
30  I had to drive through South Bend once in 1995 and I still can't believe what a crap-hole that place is.
31  the 'icy hot stuntaz' have yet to give membership to Jimmay.
32  They don't play night games, oh wait..
33  That ND dude who hangs out here and adds thoughtful comments to every thread, especially ones that have nothing to do with ND.
34  They keep all their money while everyone else splits
35  Their refusal to install video screens in their stadium. Also, my vainglorious strumpet of an ex was a ND fan. Enough said.
36  Joe Theismann
37  They grew their field out to try to slow down Reggie Bush. Worked real well.
38  That they really think their players trend more towards the student in student-athlete than all other D1 schools.


40  Captain Front-Butt
41  Wanna see my Super Bowl ring?
42  the fact that the most impressive win of "genius coach" Charlie Weis' career is a loss to USC.
43  the fact that they actually thought there were two crutches in the universe able to support Weis.
44  Ron Powlus on the Sports Illustrated cover.
45  Their neverending television contract with NBC.  Notre (Dame) Broadcasting Company.
46  Regardless of your political views, this event seemed to piss everyone off in some capacity:

47  They're not even the best Catholic football school
48  They got rid of O'Leary
49  they think their fight song is better than ours...idiots
50  Because of 38-0... er wait that's not right...


52  My deep, deep seeded catholic guilt.


54  Brady quinn, and all of the strange feelings I have when I see him stretch with his shirt off.
55  Nicholas Sparks
56  Automagic BCS bid if they win 9 games.


58  Because they get a free pass to the BCS after getting blown out by the two teams they play that have a pulse.
59  Because their fans threw snowballs at their own players after losing to Syracuse.
60  because of the "you are. state school" chant
61  Because they need a sign to tell them to "Play like a champion today"
62  Jeff Samardzija
63  Because Fielding Yost thought Knute Rockne was a freakin' prick.
64  Reggie Ho
65  Leprechauns are creepy
66  Because they refuse to join the Big 10.
67  God's team? Pleeeaaaase! I talked to God this morning. He told me He really doesn't have a team (and He got permission from Bo to say so).
68  South Bend
69  My wife likes them. Enough said.
70  some of their fans identify as Ohio State fans too.
71  B/c Michigan had to go down there to "teach" them how to play football around the turn of the century
72  "Did you know Tom Zbikowski is also a boxer?!?"
73  B/c they build their stadium w/ the blueprints of Michigan Stadium
74  because of the Inquisition.
75  The theme song makes babies cry. It really does. I saw it the other night. Twice.
76  Having to hear "Return to Glory" every single season
77  All of Powlus' Heismans
78  Beano Cook
79  decided schematic advantage
80  Stupid green jerseys.
81  ND people telling you "Good Notre Dame football is good for college football" as if you give a shit.
82  Jimmah Clausen's stretch Hummer
83  Their mascot
84  Jerome "The Bus" Bettis
85  Pat Haden and Tom Hammond.
86  NBC
87  That's what losers do
88  Was apparently on the glee club with my grandfather back in their days. Back when my grandfather remembered such things, he said he was a total dick.
89  regis philbin....
90  Brady Quinn
91  The lady i sit next to at work this morning, "did you see those irish!?", who is unable to name a single player on the team.
92  "To Hell with Michigan!"
93  Rudy sold his own story to Disney. Knowing that the movie was his own idea makes the movie even worse.
94  Lou Holtz
95  Rudy was offside.
96  Charlie Weis...he takes up a large chunk of the list.
97  because Rudy didn't die at the end of the movie.  Or did he? Never fucking saw it and don't care.
98  2002 phantom touchdown
99  The Rocket
100  They apparently have to rely on luck
101  the fact that their colors are blue and gold, but their fans wear GREEN.
102  Jeff Jackson
103  The Golden Dome
104  The Notre Dame Victory March
105  Because no one has nicknamed Weis "The humpbacked Whale of Notre Dame".
106  That insufferable fictitious prick Tommy Kilborn!
107  It's in Indiana.
108  Because my mother in law tells me every effing day that her dad played for  the irish. well, ya know what, he's a douche caboose.
109  their helmets are made of "real gold".
110  The "Here come the Irish" chant
111  The stupid cow-milking hand-gesture thing the fans do.



September 11th, 2009 at 12:32 AM ^

I'm not sure why, but this phrase made me laugh my ass off and it made me think "Why is douche such a funny word, and why does adding a noun behind it almost always make it funnier?" An interesting psychological question.

For instance:
douche = funny
douche nozzle = rofl.

Oh well, maybe I'm just an immature douche bag (hur hur).


September 11th, 2009 at 12:28 AM ^

"Brady Quinn's hot sister"

Speak for your own taste in women...

Shame you didn't mention the wedding photos that featured Brady Quinn grabbing another (male) attendee's crotch, not a joke.

matty blue

September 11th, 2009 at 9:44 AM ^

as i write this, the title of this post is "109 reasons to hate notre dame."

care to make a wild-assed guess as to how many players are on the notre dame roster, according to the official notre dame website?

109. swear to god.


September 11th, 2009 at 11:29 AM ^

As an ex-Catholic who was forced to watch Rudy during class at Catholic Central HS, this list has touched me in a very special place.

Howeva, is it too late to add a "s" to reason in the title?


September 11th, 2009 at 11:58 AM ^

Is there a static diary link? Since the title keeps changing some of my friends aren't linking directly to it and I find this whole list so hilarious I'm sending it to even the most casual UM fan :)


September 11th, 2009 at 12:20 PM ^

Not sure if this was brought up in the comments but how about Paul Hornung winning the Heisman for a 2-8 Notre Dame team. That is in my top 5 reasons.

Also, a agree with a static title. Link changes every time it changes.