Sing Along: Exodus Three

Submitted by Seth on August 4th, 2011 at 1:38 PM

kevin_newsome ncf_a_robert1x_200 pauljones

In ancient days during the quarterback drought of 2008, there came a child called Kevin Newsome from Old Virginia bearing news that he shalt accept a scholarship offer from the University of Michigan, and there was much rejoicing among the People of the Wolverine for the wise men of recruiting looked into his future and saw his head anointed by many stars.

But then came the dark years when every first-born quarterback among the Wolverines was slain. To escape the same fate, the child Newsome was put unto a basket and floated down the river, where he was found in the Valley of Happiness and raised in the court of the ancient and Great Paterno.

However as he grew older Kevin Newsome saw his brothers -- even the walk-on -- anointed before him, and wondered about his fate. And finally he decided he must leave Happy Valley and seek his fortunes. One day he came upon a shrubbery engulfed in flame, and out of this shrubbery he heard a voice...

(HIT PLAY)

Go down, Newsome, way down in Happy Valley Penn State land.
Tell old -- Paterno...
Let my QBs go!!!!

(da dum da doobie doobie, da dum da dum)

When McGloin came starter his backups said:
Let my QBs go!
They sat so much they could not stand.
Let my QBs go!

(So the Lord said) Go down, Newsome, way down in State College Penn State land.
Tell old....Paterno....to let my QBs go!

(da dum da doobie dum, da dum da doobie dum)

So Bolden went to Happy Land
Let my QBs go!
He couldn't make Paterno understand,
Let my QBs go!

(Yes the Lord said) Go down, Bolden, way down in University Park Penn State land..
Tell old....Paterno....to let my QBs go!

(da dum da doobie, da dum a doobie, da dum da doobie dum dum)

Thus spoke Paul Jones, bold freshman said:
Let my QBs go!
Your first-born son's not right in the head.
Let my QBs go!

('Cause the Lord said) Go down, Paul Jones, way down in Beaver Stadium Penn State land..
Tell old....Paterno....
Let my QBs go!

And Paterno said:

No! No! No! I will not let them go!

Comments

Seth

August 4th, 2011 at 2:02 PM ^

All you need to know is Paterno's QBs keep trying to transfer and like the Pharoah from Exodus Paterno wants them to stay and build his pyramid or something.

Newsome was a strongly rumored transfer at the end of last year but then that fizzled out for some reason.

Bolden asked for a transfer and was denied -- Paterno said he could ask again after Spring, and apparently that worked. He's battling McGloin for the starting gig.

Paul Jones is the true freshman and academically inelgigible.

And as of today Newsome is trying to transfer again. We'll see if he needs to bring the plagues to get out.

stubob

August 4th, 2011 at 2:04 PM ^

But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me

He's just a poor boy from a poor family

Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come easy go - will you let me go
Bismillah! No - we will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let him go
Bismillah! We will not let you go - let me go
Will not let you go - let me go (never)
Never let you go - let me go
Never let me go - ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no -
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me
for me
for me

So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you can love me and leave me to die
Oh baby - can't do this to me baby
Just gotta get out - just gotta get right outta here

Ooh yeah, ooh yeah
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
Nothing really matters - nothing really matters to me

Anyway the wind blows...

MGOUSMC

August 4th, 2011 at 2:05 PM ^

Who then shall go and seek an audience with Old Paterno?  Maybe the Lord will cast every B1G team upon Happy Valley for a hundred years to humble the Prideful Paterno!

Seth

August 4th, 2011 at 6:17 PM ^

Armstrong wasn't even the one who popularized it across the country - that was the Paul Robeson recording, with that really deep "let my people guo." I could only find the Armstrong  version to link to for free online.

The song itself is really old, sung in the fields by Americans enslaved and converted to Christianity throughout the 18th and 19th centuries. If you take out the funny stuff and sing it straight you'll note it's a cadence song, where a leader sings a part then everyone joins in for the easy stuff, just like sea shanties. Since the subject matter and the form are both really old, I wouldn't be surprised if the song itself is too. But certainly it was most popular among slaves in the U.S. Imagine singing this and swinging a hoe and that's probably what our ancestors were doing.

marco dane

August 4th, 2011 at 2:28 PM ^

Fate hasn't been kind to either Newsom or Beaver,at this point in their collective careers. Michigan's qb situation has me feeling so warm & fuzzy...

Was never sold on Newsome as a qb...even when R2 was recruiting him.

Mercury Hayes

August 4th, 2011 at 2:24 PM ^

But I'm not a fan of this post. What happened to just telling us the facts?

I'm sorry, I'm sure your a nice guy Misopogon, but do we need the lyrics and the hyperbole (talking about ancient quarterbacks).

What was wrong with just saying "Kevin Newsome, former U-M commit is transfering"?

Between that and your Bill Simmons-esque diaries posts, I feel like my head is going to explode.

Okay, that's all I got. Enjoy negging me everyone.

jmblue

August 4th, 2011 at 2:34 PM ^

There sure were a lot of "journeymen" in the QB class of 2009 - Forcier, Beaver, Newsome.  Thankfully Denard did not join that list.

Engin77

August 4th, 2011 at 6:11 PM ^

I hope they both stay and share the QB duties. That moniker reminds of high school pranks, trying to get the office temp to page "Holden McGroin, please report to the principal's office. Holden McGroin."

phjhu89

August 4th, 2011 at 7:27 PM ^

Brilliant!

So, with your final line, I guess you could go for the preschool version:

Oh listen, oh listen, oh listen, King Paterno.

Oh listen, oh listen, please let my QB's go.

They want to go away

They want to play some day

Oh Paterno, Oh Paterno,

What do You Say?

NO NO NO, I WILL NOT LET THEM GO!