October Spawned A Monster Comment Count

Brian November 2nd, 2009 at 3:25 PM

Asexual former Smiths singer Morrissey—he reproduces by budding!—is a schizophrenic, self-parodic man. He once claimed "he didn't need more ammunition" because

I don't dwell on things I'm missing
I'm just pleased with the things that I've found

… on the same album he offered this advice to his former bandmates who successfully sued him …

Don't close your eyes
A man who slits throats
Has time on his hands
And I'm gonna get you
So don't close your eyes
Don't ever close your eyes
You think you've won

He's not to be taken seriously, but pitches himself right in the perfect spot where you so want to, if only at various points in your life where wearing an incredibly fey outfit and doing fey dances in the fey desert near a mushroom-shaped rock seems like a good idea. At emotional ebbs, you can know Morrissey is mocking you, you whinging little prat, and still embrace your whinging pratitude.

So, in that spirit, here's this post. It is asexual and reproduces by budding and isn't supposed to be taken very seriously.


Sleep on and dream of love

Because it's the closest you will
Get to love

Poor twisted child
So ugly, so ugly
The poor twisted child
Oh hug me, oh hug me


One November
Spawned a monster
In the shape of this child


Who later cried :
"But Jesus…


… made me, so
Jesus save me


from pity, sympathy
And people discussing me


A frame of useless limbs


What can make good of
the bad that's been done?"

And if the lights were out
Could you even bear
To kiss her full on the mouth

boren-douche(Or anywhere?) ohh..no

Poor twisted child
So ugly, so ugly

Iowa's Tony Moeaki does a carbon copy of his first quarter touchdown, scampering untouched into the endzone in front of a wave of Michigan defenders, only this time in the fourth quarter of Saturday night, October 10th's clash between the two teams at Iowa's Kinnick Stadium in Iowa City.
Lon Horwedel | AnnArbor.com

Poor twisted child
Oh hug me, oh hug me

Penn State University wide receiver Andrew Quarless hauls in a long touchdown pass over Michigan linebacker Obi Ezeh during second quarter action of the Nittany Lion's 35-10 pasting of Michigan, Saturday, October 24th at Michigan Stadium.
Lon Horwedel | AnnArbor.com

One November
Spawned a monster
In the shape of this child


Who must remain

A hostage to kindness
And the wheels underneath her
A hostage to the kindness
And the wheels underneath her

A symbol of where mad, mad lovers
Must pause and draw the line.

(caption) Illinois running back Mikel LeShoure (5) runs away from Michigan cornerback Donovan Warren (6) and the Wolverines defense for a long touchdown run to cap a 99-yard drive by the Illini after they stopped the Wolverines on a goal-line stand early in the third quarter. The touchdown and extra point gave the Illini a 14-13 lead and they never looked back, scoring 31 unanswered points in the second half to hand the Wolverines their fourth consecutive Big Ten loss.  *** After a goal-line stand by the Fighting Illini early in the third quarter, they scored 31 unanswered points to trounce the Michigan Wolverines 38-13 at Memorial Stadium in Champaign, Illinois on Halloween. Photos taken on Saturday, October 31, 2009.   ( John T. Greilick / The Detroit News )

So sleep and dream of love


Cause it's the closest
You will get to love ohh

Love, that November October
Is a time
Which I must
Put out of my mind

092609_SPT_UN v IU_MRM

Oh, one fine day
Let it be soon
She won't be rich or beautiful
But she'll be walking your streets
In the clothes that she went out
And chose for herself




November 2nd, 2009 at 3:58 PM ^

So, for the MGo Tailgate at the MCB....dont forget its a 1 pm kick......make sure you're at the blackjack tables by 10 am if you want to get a hot table.


November 2nd, 2009 at 4:01 PM ^

Very well done. Not a huge fan Morrissey, but it works. It does feel like the worst in this team came out during October, but it is now November and possibilities for success remain.

One quip - if the team qualifies for a bowl game, will people still look back and think it was a wasted season, even though the original goal was met? If so, then maybe this song for another montage.


November 2nd, 2009 at 4:07 PM ^

I love the Smiths and UM Football but...I don't know. I don't feel right after watching/reading that. It's like getting punched in the dong by my gay friend from high school drama class. It adds discomfort to injury.

(That being said, I still think Sufjan's "Seven Swans" was the perfect song for the ill-fated 2006 UM vs. Ohio State pregame. Though we lost, that song perfectly captured the intensity of that moment, w/ Bo having just passed.)


November 5th, 2009 at 11:58 AM ^

Is this some sort of thing that anyone born after '78 will never get?

I've been through Smiths albums. I've discussed Smiths influences on later work ad nauseum, because I like music, and talking music, and all my friends who like music and talking music like to bring up the Smiths.*

And I completely reject the hypothesis that The Smiths were important in any way except in wreaking tonal carnage on eardrums.

Their "influence" in creating, say, Oasis, is as misguided as those who still think Green Day was born from Nirvana and only Nirvana (with the analogy ending at the point that Nirvana still rocks, while the Smiths would be considered lame if they existed any other time). Oasis, Blur, et al. got there by listening to the same cool bands that the Smiths listened to, not the Smiths themselves.

The Smiths are a Piltdown Man -- they have morphological similarities to the synth pop and punk that came before and the guitar rock that came after, but don't follow the evolutionary path that actually spawned Britain's '90s music, or any of the other crap attributed to them (Q: Are the Jonas Brothers really publicly celibate because Morrissey was?)

The Smiths get listed all the time as an "influence" on Radiohead, which makes me sick. What "influence" did they get from the Smiths which they didn't get from David Bowie, Jane's Addiction, and R.E.M.? See? You don't NEED the Smiths to get to the '90s. They're just there, with Morrissey's unlistenably crooning whine atop what's basically Talking Heads and Cure songs.

Fuck The Smiths.

* I'm trying to relate this to a college football discussion. I dunno -- the Coaching Search without Kirk Ferentz being brought up...because it's not an important point in the actual Miles-to-Researching MAC guys-to-SAILBOAT-to-Schiano-to-OhShitItsGonnaBeLikeHokeOrGrobeOrSomething-to-PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME! fiasco, but now accepted as in integral part of the discussion because we speculated too much then, and have to hear about it too much now. Anyway, the Smiths still suck and fuck them.


November 2nd, 2009 at 8:50 PM ^

Nice song choice. The asexuality is à propos, given the general ambiguity of Michigan's offense and defense. The melancholy lyrics hit the mood of the moment.