Twas the night before The Game... Group poetry/Drinking thread
Fuck it. I'm bored trying to pass some time before the game. Just for shits and giggles maybe a poem while we wait out this last 16ish hours.
Vodka/Orange/Diet 7
Twas the night before The Game to be played in The Shoe
All Michigan fans were yelling Go Blue! Go Blue!
All the stocking were bused to that Outhouse with care
With hopes that Chase Winovich soon would be there.
Ok, I gotta go make a drink.
Anyone got anything to add?
November 23rd, 2018 at 8:34 PM ^
Watching OU - WVU light it up while I light it up.
I do have a bottle of the cheapest white wine I could buy--which I only bought to deglaze a pan after I sear up some scallops tomorrow. I could have some of that.
November 23rd, 2018 at 8:49 PM ^
west virginia's 3-3-5 defense blows. no penetration at all. their pass rush is pathetic. gary/kemp/soloman/mone/dwumfour/uche/winovich would have a field day. they are saying this is a great o-line but i think the big 12 just sucks at defense with pathetic d-line play.
November 23rd, 2018 at 9:51 PM ^
What kind of shit is this man?
Labrador man.
November 23rd, 2018 at 8:34 PM ^
Tito’s and Soda while anxiously awaiting tomorrow. I’ve been with my in-laws since Wednesday morning basically non-stop. Please send more Tito’s.
Signed,
HenneGivenSunday
November 23rd, 2018 at 8:34 PM ^
Bell’s Cherry Stout and Two Hearted Ale watching no defense. Go WV and Wazzu!
November 23rd, 2018 at 8:36 PM ^
I drink lots of beer,
buckeyes have lots of fear
Meyer is a scumbag, this is true
in the end tomorrow, it’ll be all Blue
November 23rd, 2018 at 8:38 PM ^
Buckeyes are red, Michigan's Blue, eat a dick OSU.
November 23rd, 2018 at 8:44 PM ^
Pasted to couch...debating if body needs beer. 4:00am wakeup for BCBS beer hunting and subsequent morning drinking of big stouts has made for a bum night. But football is on?!
November 23rd, 2018 at 8:50 PM ^
First team that gets a stop wins this OU - WVU match-up.
November 23rd, 2018 at 8:53 PM ^
F the big 12. No defense and they dont review an obvious targeting. Onto the apple cup
November 23rd, 2018 at 8:56 PM ^
“In hopes that Chase Winovich soon would be there”: Perfect. Great parody of the original. (Chase Winovich:St. Nicholas)
November 23rd, 2018 at 9:06 PM ^
Great Lake Brewing Edmund Fitzgerald Porter
Fuck Ohio
November 23rd, 2018 at 9:13 PM ^
‘‘Twas the night before vengeance
would finally be ours
Not one buckeye uncrushed
Except Urban’s skull
A nice indica tonight
November 23rd, 2018 at 9:17 PM ^
Stella's Artois and Glenlivet 12
November 23rd, 2018 at 9:45 PM ^
Buckeyes are red
Michigan's Blue
I'm drinking Dragon's Milk
Til we crush OSU
November 23rd, 2018 at 9:45 PM ^
Sitting with a Brewery Vivant Farm Hand counting the seconds.
November 23rd, 2018 at 9:50 PM ^
Been sick for a week so I'm drinking really strong tea. I'm no poet, but these guys are summing up my feels at the moment
November 23rd, 2018 at 9:53 PM ^
Haze and Blue from Big Lake Brewing in Holland
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm terrible at poems
Murderwolf OSU!
November 23rd, 2018 at 9:55 PM ^
Ohio State
Is for shit
We are going to
Beat their dicks off
Am I doing this right?
November 23rd, 2018 at 10:01 PM ^
I killed my Sailor Jerry trying to fall asleep quicker in anticipation of The Game. I'm reluctantly transitioning to my Jameson because the Sailor isn't working.
November 23rd, 2018 at 10:36 PM ^
Apple Cider/Whip Cream Vodka; topped with whip cream. Buzz commenced, switching to rye whiskey.
BTW, fuck the rest of the laundry.
BTWW, go Mountaineers! The Big 12, where defense is optional.
November 23rd, 2018 at 10:53 PM ^
I once met a buckeye,
A loathsome mouth drooler
Though I offered him a beer
And he pooped in my cooler
As he bragged of his status
As a spirit frequent flier
I reminded him harshly
Of his coach urban liar
Then he entered a rage
And velcroed his shoes
Then proceeded to fill
My fridge fridge with his poos
I wrote him a text
Then he began to plead
Can you please read it for me
I ne'er learned how to read
He said I only screw my sister
Her urban's so tight
Merry X-Xas to all
And to all a goodnight
November 23rd, 2018 at 10:56 PM ^
On the night before two teams would meet in “The Game”,
All Buckeyes fans hoped they’d see more of the same
Success they’d enjoyed for the past seventeen seasons,
As they reveled ‘bout thinking of all of their reasons
For believing there wouldn’t just be any doubt
That they’d exit “The Horseshoe “ right after a rout.
But Wolverines fans knew it was Buckeyes’ confusion.
For eagerly swallowing their head coach’s delusion
That he’d not really known how his assistant behaved,
Despite having heard that Zach Smith was depraved.
Their season began with Urban’s three-game suspension
And whispers and rumors of booster dissension
That brought some anxiety to those fans in “The ‘Shoe”,
And that was before they were crushed by Purdue
And struggled to just barely squeak by the Terps.
So, the Buckeyes’ bravado seems just like more derps.
Though they wildly applauded and got their big laugh
When the Irish and Wolverines met in the first half
Of a game that was played on the first of September,
The results might be different this time in November
‘Cause Michigan football has just won ten straight
And this is “The Game” where they’ve circled the date.
The game plan’s been set, they’ve enjoyed a nice feast.
Buses left from The Big House and headed down east.
The Revenge Tour rolls on; let’s hope it’s with Chase
When the Wolverines battle to capture first place
‘Cause Winovich gives the great defense a push
With Gary and Hudson and Kinnel and Bush,
And Uche, Metellus, Hill, Hawkins, Mone,
And Watson and Hutchinson, Ross, Kemp and Paye.
As they’ve shown off their talent and great attitude,
It’s no wonder that Don Brown calls each of them “Dude”.
But they’ll have to play smart and take care not to gamble
Against Haskins and Dobbins, McLaurin and Campbell,
And Dixon and Weber and Victor and Hill.
Let’s hope that the refs aren’t some Buckeye shills.
If the Michigan offense comes ready to play
And if Pep makes the calls that are just right for Shea,
So that after the Wolverines get all their plays in,
There’ll be one more win – to chalk up for “Bench” Mason,
And “Haill to the Victors” will play out on the phones
Of Thomas, Hart, Moody, Nordin, Peoples-Jones
And Bredeson, Runyan, Onwenu, Ruiz
And whichever right tackle whom Warinner sees,
And Higdon, Evans, McKeon, Gentry, Perry and Tru,
Collins, Martin, Black, Eubanks and the rest of the Blue.
For Michigan fans who’ve shed too many tears
When “The Game” has been played the past 17 years,
When the Wolverines gain a great win at “The “Shoe”
And after we’ve heard the last chants of “Go Blue!”,
Let’s hope that Jim Haubaugh will be so inclined
To show off the enthusiasm unknown to mankind.
Tomorrow’s the day when the “playoffs” begin,
So it’s very important that the Wolverines win
And then beat Northwestern for this year’s Big Ten title
‘Cause to meet Alabama these wins’ll be vital.
Good Night and Go Blue!
November 23rd, 2018 at 11:02 PM ^
All I want for Christmas is a Bucknut roasted over the open fire.
November 23rd, 2018 at 11:17 PM ^
Twas the night before the game and all through the shoe, everyone's coolers were full of poo poo. Urbs with his headaches and John coopers toupee had just finished updating Urbans new resume.
November 23rd, 2018 at 11:25 PM ^
Roses are still red
M is still blue
but when we crack the nuts
the Cotton Bowl will be our due.
November 23rd, 2018 at 11:39 PM ^
Michigan is the leaders and the best
We’re going to pass this clogged toilet test.
Buckeyes be damned thier school is a sham.
Winovich and Gary are going to Haskins SLAM!
Paterson will snipe and Higdon will ignite,
And Collins’ and DPJ’s winged helmets will take flight
Urban will eat some sad pizza when it’s done
While Don crafts up the destruction of Clayton Thorson
In EL and Columbus we will rewrite the laws
And all will praise the dawn of the Reign of Harbaugh
We will crush our OSU-enemies. See them driven before us. And to hear the lamentations of their women.
We’re a shotgun, NO, a double barrel shotgun, and when the smoke clears it’s going to be Maize and Blue on top!!!
GO BLUE!
November 24th, 2018 at 12:00 AM ^
Fuck John Oneil
November 24th, 2018 at 12:01 AM ^
I suck at poems and shit, but fuck Ohio State.
jaw jacker, PBR and Hindu Kush
November 24th, 2018 at 2:26 AM ^
The horror. The fumbled punt. The spot.
Ranked road losses too often have wrought.
A decade against rivals, with too many defeats.
Teased with success, but with too little feats.
Harbaugh emerges and signs us some stars.
Wins start to pile but the big games leave scars.
Satellite camps reduced, but we didn’t lose hope.
To France, then to Italy and even the Pope.
Steel in the spine forged by Harbaugh and Brown.
Enthusiasm unknown has undone any frowns.
Three years of patience as we untangled the weaves.
An offense with wrinkles. A Shea that deceives.
A revenge tour ramps up, then it soon reckons.
The big Game arrives- Armageddon beckons.
BPONE cast aside as emotions will spike.
In Columbus, we offer our own Counterstrike.
A Defense so fierce, it may get a rutger.
Don Brown will torment those Buckeye futgers.
Winovich will rise much to Haskin’s displeasure.
The energy it brings- a UFR stat cannot measure.
Higdon and Shea protected by their o-line of sentries.
Star receivers hit in stride as well as ent Gentry.
Urban cannot stop himself from coupling over.
As he glances at the scoreboard- in horror.
Urban will then cover his face like he’s covered his lies.
This time the tears will be real when he cries.
Michigan wins soundly and covers the spread.
Much to the Horseshoes’ and Herbstreit’s dread.
Michigan hails home, sailing past Columbus this day.
The Victors will rise and Champions will stay.
GO BLUE. BEAT OHIO!
November 24th, 2018 at 2:59 AM ^
Some poetry for all of you who were on the internet back before Football Armageddon I...
"This is the ultimate showdown (of ultimate destiny).
Good guys, bad guys, and explosions, as far as the eye can see.
And only one will survive. I wonder who it will be?
This is the ultimate showdown (of ultimate destiny)."
November 24th, 2018 at 7:42 AM ^
Nice, couldn't agree more, go blue.