MGoBlog's Colorful Open Michigan Game Threads - WARNING: Inappropriate Language
(Below contains information provided by a very good friend, someone who is much more proficient in counting, charting, and general attention-paying than me. Credit should be given where credit is due (to him) and criticism should be given where criticism is due (also to him). I consider myself to be a mere conduit of information because he was too Notre Dame (read: chicken) to post this himself and apparently wants to remain anonymous...).
We are a colorful bunch. From all different walks of life and across the globe, we gather to learn, discuss, and follow Michigan football in the Fall. We read and then watch and then read some more. Some of us even read WHILE we watch. And so it goes every week in the gameday open threads. Aside from the love (and sometimes hate) we all have for Michigan, we have at least one more thing in common . . . our use of curse words. That is the topic of this thread:
In the Akron open threads, we contributed 131 "fuck"s to the discussion (113 in the first half, 18 in the second half). That number was bested in the UConn open threads, which saw 165 "fuck"s (118 in the first half and 47 in the second half).
The use of "shit" trailed our clear preference of the word "fuck" (as "shit" is clearly not as effective as "fuck" in certain situations requiring a more nuclear reaction). We had 59 "shit"s in the Akron threads and 46 "shit"s in the UConn thread
Interestingly, the use of "suck" was much more prevelant in the UConn threads (102 in the first half, 12 in the second half) than in the Akron threads (65 in the first half, 5 in the second half), which is interesting because one might hypothesize that Michigan sucked equally in both games.
The use of "damn" in the two threads was pretty consistent, it only being deployed 23 times during the Akron game and 20 times during the UConn game. However, much more alarming is the increase in the use of "put in Morris" from the Akron thread to the UConn thread - almost 20 more people want to see Gardner replaced this week than they did last week (25 versus 8, respectively).
For your viewing pleasure, below are exceprts of open threads from the past two weeks:
Akron:
UConn:
What, you may be asking yourself, does all of this mean? It means we are a very colorful bunch. Colorful and extremely NSFW, NSFMrs.K, and NSFChildrenUnderTheAgeof16. So, on behalf of all you fathers that let your young children read these threads:
Hey, shitheads, please stop fucking swearing in the goddamn open game threads or they're going to put in Morris, which might very well suck!
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:38 PM ^
TL;DR? Yes. Self-bang anyway? Yes!
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:46 PM ^
I like the way you self-bang.
Yup, I just wanted to see if that sounds as dirty typed out as it does in my head.
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:54 PM ^
^^^ This x 1,000
Well done, OP. Very well done.
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:39 PM ^
The kids hear much worse on the playground. It's like getting pissed off that South Park or Family Guy exists. Don't let your kids watch it or read material where this sort of stuff is present instead of expecting others to do your child rearing for you. if you don't want to get in trouble for reading questionable material at work....try working and not visiting blogs. Just a thought.
I dropped an F bomb on a visit yesterday to a cider mill with my GF. It was barely muttered to myself as I checked out my fantasy scores. I quickly turned around and apologized to the couple that was there with their small child in line behind me. That was a family place and I should have had a better mind to control myself. I don't think I should have to censor myself on this blog (at least in this regard).
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:46 PM ^
I was joking, obviously. I'm in no position to critique colorful language - I swear like a fucking trucker (no offense to truckers - its actually a compliment!)! That said, I do work really hard not to swear around my kids because they are at the age where they'd repeat it over and over. (Funny story: I was pushing my kids on these little scooters and asked the oldest if he's like "super-speed" or "head-popping" speed. He selected "head-pop" and now my youngest goes around saying "head-pop" for no reason.)
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:40 PM ^
Morris he would have posted the damn thing himself.
/s
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:40 PM ^
Pretty tame stuff. If you look as some other teams' boards, not only will there be reference to fucking but to what position, which orifice, how many people, and most likely, in a loss or too close victory, a mention of (a lack of) lubricant as well.
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:42 PM ^
He may have to drill down the fucking a bit more closely. If you're reading this, update your spreadsheet accordingly, please.
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:47 PM ^
This is Michigan fergodsake. I expect nothing less.
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:43 PM ^
I'm confused. Are you saying that because we aren't RCMB yet, we shouldn't care that we might become RCMB?
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:42 PM ^
There is no one on this blog who would take time to tabulate such things and then e-mail the spreadsheet to someone for use in a thread about colorful threads. You can even search this laptop as soon as I have had a chance to erase a few things.
September 23rd, 2013 at 3:04 PM ^
I wonder if he's willing to come out of the closet (literally, not figuratively, NTTAWWT) now that he realizes how funny his work turned out or if he's still too afraid. I prefer the latter, of course, because I love taking all the credit (and avoiding all the criticism).
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:43 PM ^
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:47 PM ^
we created a few new words the last couple weeks
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:47 PM ^
...the unapproved or deleted comments on the last two MGo Liveblogs. Talk about a NSFW tire fire.
September 23rd, 2013 at 9:37 PM ^
from a sailor!
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:51 PM ^
Even if the frequency of language was to double or triple, I'd still get more out of this board than I would at say, RCMB. Every time I stop by that cesspool of a forum, I lose braincells.
If people ain't bitchin', they ain't happy.
September 23rd, 2013 at 3:06 PM ^
Damn - huge fail on my part for not including this clip from my favorite movie. Thanks for always being there with timely video!
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:53 PM ^
I am at work for a few more hours....could someone chart this?
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:59 PM ^
Here's the chart as originally compiled, with very lame attempt to make it safe for work included:
Akron | 1st Half | 2nd Half | TOTAL |
"f*ck" | 113 | 18 | 131 |
"sh*t" | 54 | 5 | 59 |
"d*mn" | 22 | 1 | 23 |
"fire" | 10 | 2 | 12 |
"suck" | 65 | 5 | 70 |
"put in Morris" | 7 | 1 | 8 |
Connecticut | 1st Half | 2nd Half | TOTAL |
"f*ck" | 118 | 47 | 165 |
"sh*t" | 34 | 12 | 46 |
"d*mn" | 11 | 9 | 20 |
"fire" | 9 | 2 | 11 |
"suck" | 102 | 12 | 114 |
"put in Morris" | 23 | 2 | 25 |
September 23rd, 2013 at 3:02 PM ^
How many "Put in Morris" posts against Akron were right after the Funchess TD pass to put them up 7-0?
September 23rd, 2013 at 3:11 PM ^
September 23rd, 2013 at 3:15 PM ^
I totally agree, and if I hadn't been feeling completely irreverent (and admittedly frsutrated to the point of madness) with the blog yesterday, I would have just left them in. A bit of playfulness there on my part.
September 23rd, 2013 at 3:16 PM ^
Hey f-ck you. He can write f-ck however he wants to write f-ck. Plus, if he wrote "fuck" I'd run and tell Brian because his moderators should be a little more professional that the rest of us a--holes.
September 23rd, 2013 at 3:22 PM ^
Did people leave the live blog after the 1st half? Did people quit watching the game? Or did they just stop caring?
The drop offs from 1st to 2nd half are quite remarkable. I would like to see the % of posts containing fuck or shit or balls (which why didn't "balls" get included) from half to half, and see what the story is a little more.
Not that I am asking you to come up with this. Because that seems like a lot of work.
September 23rd, 2013 at 3:29 PM ^
If this becomes a weekly thing - and I am thinking I might do it - "balls" and "ass" will become added metrics, but I am open to other suggestions as well. I may even break down the "fire" references by coach.
September 23rd, 2013 at 4:22 PM ^
September 23rd, 2013 at 10:32 PM ^
Nihilists? Fuck me.
September 23rd, 2013 at 3:33 PM ^
should not be in the list of swear words..... Also, were there any all caps "FFFF's" followed by a ton of all caps "UUUUUU's"??? That's always a good one. Here's my take on it: We're all watching the same thing. We are all thinking the same thing. Posting "F this game or We suck" really is not helping anything. But I figure anyone who goes on the liveblog pretty much is aware how it is going to go....
September 23rd, 2013 at 4:25 PM ^
September 23rd, 2013 at 2:56 PM ^
Ugh... someone should have taken my phone away from me during the last game.
September 23rd, 2013 at 3:07 PM ^
HAHAHAHA!
September 23rd, 2013 at 8:19 PM ^
In all honesty, I thought you had some really good stuff. It was nice to know I wasn't alone in my drunken feelings while watching the game.
September 23rd, 2013 at 3:01 PM ^
I happened to read the Game Thread last night and was amazed, not at the swearing, but at the number of negative comments towards the players and coaches. In 3 weeks, we've gone from "Holy ballz Devin is unbelievable" to "We suck. We'll be lucky to win 6 games." To that I say, fuck those people.
September 23rd, 2013 at 3:02 PM ^
September 23rd, 2013 at 3:05 PM ^
All this shows me is that we all have the good sense to drink heavily in the first half to the point we are unable to post here after halftime.
September 23rd, 2013 at 3:16 PM ^
I would like to know where I stand in relation to others.