OT: The path not taken. A thread for reflection and regrets
Lately I've been thinking about a few decisions in my life that led me to where I am today.
Is there a single event or decision that changed your life, for good or bad, which sticks out in your memory? Did you make the right decision? If you had to do it over again would you turn left instead of right?
I've made too many mistakes to count, but my biggest regret is my choice of career. I was a pretty good DJ (radio, not unce unce unce) and lately I've been thinking I should have stuck with it instead of selling my soul to a bank.
Eats at me almost every day as I sit at my desk.
it's a milky way......
geez, don't you know your candy bars????
I think about it a lot. I wanted to be a SEAL all through high school, but then partying and drugs and girls found their way into my life. That's probably my single largest regret, though I have many, many others.
I wish I had read more poetry, especially Robert Frost.
Still do that. I've got a Robert frost book you can borrow and probably finish in a day
I think he's making a joke about the road less traveled.
I sure as shit regret not being aware of Cliff's Notes before reading The Scarlet Letter in 9th grade
I agree. That may be my least favorite book ever, and to this day I not only refuse to read any other Hawthorne, but also close any book which starts any preachy authorial intrusion. Fuck that book, fuck that guy, and fuck Hester Prynne.
Isn't that what got her in trouble in the first place?
if you like Frost, you may like Edna St. Vincent Millay. Same time period, roughly same area. Her reputation has fluctuated more than Frost's, but she's great.
Why can't you just read it now?
2. I wish I kept playing football after 7th grade.
That's mine. I quit playing football during summer two-a-days just before my junior year. Just woke up one morning with a classic case of teenage "fuck this shit" and didn't go to practice. The rule was, if you missed three practices, you were immediiately cut, so I skipped three and went and cleaned out my locker. Shoving all my gear in my gym bag, I was full of 16-year-old certainty that I didn't need this shit, didn't need this asshole coach, had better things to do, etc.
That maybe lasted two weeks, and then I started to feel I'd made a mistake. The mistake was confirmed when I watched the team run out on the field at Flint's Atwood Stadium in their new jerseys, while the world's greatest high school band played our fight song.
I could have been on that field - but I quit. And the reason I quit was because it was hard.
I realized years ago that I learned a very important lesson from that mistake, and also developed a permanent distaste for quitting. And maybe that lesson wouldn't have sunk in as deeply if I hadn't done what I did.
But dammit, if I could go back and do one thing over ...
and a number of other sports I put him when he was younger. I can't say that he put a lot of effort into any sports. He was intelligent (34 on the ACT) but not very smart. The quitting pattern continued in college and he dropped out - twice.
At 22 I sent him back to college with a “you will not quit” edict. He got a two year degree, got a job, and is enjoying his work. I wish I pushed him harder with his school work, yard work, and didn’t allow him to quit everything,
I joined the military after 3 years of college and one year doing basically nothing after. It was the best decision of my life. However, I have some regrets around it. Should have joined right after HS instead of waste 3 years in college that I'm still paying for. However, I don't know that I'd have succeeded as well there without going in so late. Who knows were I'd be now without the military, but I gurantee I would not be where I am now.
Played more guitar and less call of duty. I'm not a bad guitar player but I could be soooo much better
I am actually at a crossroads right now. I am an educator who has been interning at a company this summer to help design all new training program. They have offered me a full time position which pays about 3x as much as I'm making in the classroom. The decision I make in the next 24 hrs is going to have life changing implications
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Damn man that's such a "follow your heart" kind of situation
Well, shs... you know what they say..
When you come to that fork in the road... take it.
It's going to be a difficult decision either way. Moving across country, leaving classroom and the kids, but still doing meaningful work to help others succeed at their job...
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is an opportunity that doesn't come around that often.
Very rarely in life do you get to double your salary (I was able to do so 3 months ago)...
But holy shit, if I got a chance to triple it, I'm selling out.
Are you hiring?
Asking for a friend.
It's me.
There are always costs that aren't necessarily measured in dollar signs. Good luck. I know more than a few people who have regretted taking raises and additional responsibilities after being able to identify what those other costs were down the road.
Good luck to you in doing what's best for you and your family.
I have kids, too... if you're able to make 3x and that's able to secure your and your kids (at least in some capacity) finanical future, I'd say that's pretty significant.
If you do it, just make sure you get a solid contract that won't leave you hanging in the breeze after you finish the task they have set for you.
well at least it's not like my sister in law's parents, who moved to saudi arabia to work in the american oil complex there. Ungodly hot and shari'a law, halfway across the world from anyone they knew. The upside is he's gonna retire by age 50. The company knew they couldn't convince anyone to go for less than triple
Is it in an area with a high cost of living? A bump in salary can be eaten up quickly if you move to the wrong area.
Is it in an area with a high cost of living? A bump in salary can be eaten up quickly if you move to the wrong area.
Is it in an area with a high cost of living? A bump in salary can be eaten up quickly if you move to the wrong area.
There's more to life than money.
But money isn't bad, and career-wise it seems reasonable to think that teaching will still be there to go back to if you don't like what you move to or it doesn't work out.
Much larger considerations are things like family, home, personal attachment to your community, that sort of thing. If you have kids with friends in school and a home you like and things you do outside of work that bring joy and fulfillment, that's worth a lot more than money and would have to be weighed carefully.
OTOH if you are, say, single with no kids living in a decent but unspectacular apartment and you're indifferent to the place you live, well, this quite the opportunity.
This is good advice. I would also add work environment is important. No amount of money is worth an asshole boss or douche co-workers.
Based on first-hand experience. I went from a much higher-paying, awful job with awful people to government work. I still make very good money, but the lifestyle is orders of magnitude better. Income potential is limited, but I have an awesome work-home life balance and never dread coming to the office.
This. You can return to teaching if the other gig doesn't turn out to be satisfying enough, but you'll kick yourself black and blue if you don't at least try the job with all the bucks.
How much do you like teaching?
I had to make a similar decision about 20 years ago. I think it was easier for me because a) I loved loved loved teaching, and b) I didn't really understand the difference that money makes. Even though I have a much better grasp of b) now, I still am glad that I chose a).
So - if you really like teaching - I'd say stick with it. I do often reflect on my career choice, but I always end up thinking, "But then I never would have met this kid," or "But then I wouldn't have experienced this thing."
Of course, if you like the new job better, take it. Don't stick with teaching out of some sense of nobility or duty. That won't be good for you or the students.
I've done the moneymaking thing before teaching, and it is astonishing how much more freedom you have as a teacher with a solid retirement plan already in place and funded. I was able to take up a job at an independent school (3x the job satisfaction) because I didn't need to stay in public education for the pension.
it was so worth 10 years outside the classroom. I'd do it again every time.
Yes, I agree. The thing is, public teacher retirement systems are absurdly good for their scale. Not a ton of money by many standards, but relative to the teacher's salary, quite good. At my tier in the NY state teacher's retirement system, the fund will pay me half my annual salary plus very good healthcare when I retire at 63. Now, half my annual salary isn't a lot by successful business standards, but relatively speaking, that's not a bad deal.
I have also taught in the independent schools. I agree that there is in general far greater potential for job satisfaction there. And their retirement plans - generally ~5% matching in a 403b plan - are turrible.
Working in business for a while and then coming back to teaching is a very viable route if you are aiming at the independent schools. At the public schools, at least in NY, they keep piling on more and more regulations that make it harder and harder to enter teaching from anything but a 4-year dedicated program at a SUNY school (it's still possible, but I'm convinced that the people in the education department are trying to make it very painful and difficult).
3x as much? Seems like a no-brainer to me
Education is not a great field right now. Districts are going to 15-20 year pay scales. If you can get 3x and be happy, do it. You can still coach and work with kids.
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You can always return to the classroom when you want.
I am an old fat bastard and have worked for several companies. The advice I give is to choose the company based upon it's culture. Your job will change, your boss will change, but it the company and it's underlying culture is often a constant. Is this a great place to work? The last time I made a decision I choose culture over money/position and am thrilled 15 years later with that decision.
It's not the same decision my 20/30 year old self would have made.
Tough decision, but keep in mind that doing "nothing" - keeping current job, is also an active decision you are making. While we do not know all the facts that you have in front of you, I would take the "new" path and don't be conservative and keep doing what you are doing. It seems that if it does not work out, you may be able to go back to the "old" job, but if you turn down this opportunity will another one like it come again???
Take the money.
If you don't mind a stranger's suggestion, ask yourself this:
You can always go back and teach.
Can you always go back and take advantage of this training opportunity?
Unless you're performing sex acts against your will, take the money. Every. Single. Time.
... not kissing her.
See, I regret kissing her.
I made a decision - a conscious decision - to date a girl when I saw the red flags. I was young, stupid, and also saw the potential there.
Biggest mistake I've made. I turned down a few good jobs to stay with her. It predictably ended poorly, and in doing so ruined many friendships, my then-job, the city I lived in, and both my happiness and ability to trust women didn't recover for years.
Sure I regret not going for it with some women. But holy hell have I fucked up worse.