Florida
April 22nd, 2021 at 10:28 AM ^
No worries. It was just a random snowbird from Maryland.
April 22nd, 2021 at 10:53 AM ^
Because Maryland is the Terps? Terrapins? Turtles.
I like turtles.gif
Scene reconstruction per bystander accounts:
Mario Kart pic would have been worth millions.
To be fair, this could be from bystander accounts of a typical day in Florida. You never really know.
April 22nd, 2021 at 10:50 AM ^
luigi-death-stare.gif
Who knew. Luigi = Florida man.
Eats mushrooms. Makes strange noises that only resembles speech. Hits head on bricks repeatedly. Kicks turtles and stomps on small creatures. Thinks a flower lets him throw fire. Mostly hangs out with his brother, doing weird and dangerous sh*t with music on in the background.
Sounds like a Florida man - only missing the jorts.
If I recall correctly, this was how Sophocles died.
April 22nd, 2021 at 10:07 AM ^
I believe a Washington player just tore his Sophocles tendon and won't be playing in our game this fall. I'm not sure how turtles were involved.
Looks like one of Michelangelo’s jokes went a little too far.
Despite the absurdity of it...the use of travel and airborne in the title sent my mind to a plane somehow hitting a turtle like they do geese. The actual subject was thoroughly disappointing in comparison.
Just a hawk or some other predatorial bird dropping it's lunch.
April 22nd, 2021 at 11:27 AM ^
Just a hawk or some other predatorial bird LOSING it's lunch.
FIFY
"Daytona Beach Carpet Bombed By Turtles. Film at 11."
Sounds about right for the early 21st century.
Seriously, don’t fuck with turtles. They may be slow but those reptiles don’t fuck around. Especially Alligator Snapping Turtles.
April 22nd, 2021 at 12:57 PM ^
or Gamera either...
... the heat coming off this ass
We use 'em as tiddlywinks here in FL; I can see how that happened.
As crazy as the incident is, I think the AP article is “burying the lede” so to speak:
“The turtle, on the other hand, had the best luck of anything — it just had a few scratches on its shell and was released back into the nearby woods, Port Orange police officer Andre Fleming said.”
The turtle also gave a statement to authorities before leaving. Witnesses overhead it as something to the effect of "... not again. I hate when this happens."
Florida man, Florida
Lived in Florida for several years.
FL is like that trainwreck of a friend that's really fun to party and hang out with, but you would never want making decisions outside of the bar.
But then suddenly that friend gets hired at your company and is now getting to make major decisions for the future of that company.
And all you can think is "Wait, that clusterf*ck is now being taken seriously????"
I get it. But no one takes Florida seriously. No one.
Agreed, but they get 3rd most electoral votes, so they get a seat at the table.
April 22nd, 2021 at 11:55 AM ^
Probably more in the future as long the New Yorkers are leaving for Florida
You’re going to the wrong places in Florida. Ft Meyers, Naples, Sarasota, Bonita springs, etc are like living in the Midwest except with nice weather and a beach. The Southeast side of the state is more like what you describe.
Okay....back to the Joe Milton thread.
April 22nd, 2021 at 10:26 AM ^
Go, Terps?
April 22nd, 2021 at 10:38 AM ^
I hope the woman is ok and that her family won't have to shell out some serious cash to cover the hospital bill.
April 22nd, 2021 at 10:42 AM ^
Airborne???
April 22nd, 2021 at 11:50 AM ^
Our own little piece of Australia.
April 22nd, 2021 at 12:00 PM ^
I hope the turtle is ok...
We had to deal with sharknados and now this!!!
it was carole f'in' baskin!