Things one ought not to do when out on the town in South Bend:
- Attempt to steal the beers of fellow bar patrons
- Punch the female bar manager in the face, step on her head and neck, and pull on her ponytail
- Leave your wallet at the scene of the crime
- Attempt to retrieve your wallet from the police station
All of the gory details are provided here.


ND fan: "All is well! All is well!"
"That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed.
"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka agreed.