Ot: Help me with my charcuterie board
January 6th, 2023 at 3:18 PM ^
I agree! Kraft singles?? Velveeta?? That is not a charcuterie board! That is an abomination! Get real cheese man!
Also some meat wedges (salami is always a good choice) and crackers and go organic with as much of it as possible!
January 6th, 2023 at 1:51 PM ^
You definitely need some SPAM.
Also, make it a costume party.
January 6th, 2023 at 1:57 PM ^
...and invite this guy.
January 6th, 2023 at 2:15 PM ^
I didn't know that Urban and Pawl Finebaum were related. Proof is in the picture.
January 6th, 2023 at 5:41 PM ^
It’s Pete
January 6th, 2023 at 3:44 PM ^
This is what you need, some cut up Oscar Meyer hot dogs for the win!
January 6th, 2023 at 4:07 PM ^
Correct and do NOT cook the dogs. It's totally yummy and safe to serve raw dogs.
January 6th, 2023 at 9:26 PM ^
Vienna sausages do in a pinch.
January 6th, 2023 at 5:56 PM ^
I think you left out the gravy. And for your spread, I think it might be safe to go with the kind that comes in a jar, not homemade.
January 6th, 2023 at 1:52 PM ^
Brown Jug burgers
January 6th, 2023 at 1:58 PM ^
Underrated comment!
January 6th, 2023 at 2:13 PM ^
you can't prove that
January 6th, 2023 at 2:26 PM ^
Some Vienna sausages and sardines will take it to the next level
January 6th, 2023 at 5:05 PM ^
Isn't that a Level 1 charcuterie violation?
January 7th, 2023 at 6:07 PM ^
Yeah, but that's really more of a breakfast food.
January 6th, 2023 at 1:52 PM ^
Here's a helpful tip I learned from my father in law when entetraining people and trying to put together an award winning Charcuterie board
January 6th, 2023 at 1:53 PM ^
Uh, username definitely checks out.
January 6th, 2023 at 1:55 PM ^
But is it kosher?
January 6th, 2023 at 1:53 PM ^
Grape jelly on the side.
January 6th, 2023 at 1:54 PM ^
Are Kraft singles really considered charcuterie?
January 6th, 2023 at 2:12 PM ^
They are if you cut them into quarters.
January 6th, 2023 at 2:13 PM ^
It was a...nevermind.
January 6th, 2023 at 2:48 PM ^
As long as you take them out of the packaging. You don't want your guests to have to fumble with the plastic to get at that golden pasteurized prepared cheese product!
January 6th, 2023 at 9:27 PM ^
cheese product - my favorite
January 6th, 2023 at 5:06 PM ^
Definitely go with Ritz crackers with that spread.
January 6th, 2023 at 5:52 PM ^
Ritz can go with anything in my estimate. Trashy meat and cheese or fancy. Ritz fukz.
January 6th, 2023 at 1:55 PM ^
Ranch Dressing, preferably Kraft.
January 6th, 2023 at 1:57 PM ^
You cut up already cut up Hebrew Nationals? What is this, a party for toddlers?
January 6th, 2023 at 1:59 PM ^
Grape jelly and mustard mixed on the side,works wonders on conecuh sausage,you may want to ice down some champagne(of beer) make your event a 10.
January 6th, 2023 at 1:59 PM ^
What did he mean by this?
January 6th, 2023 at 2:00 PM ^
Might want to throw some sardines in as well.......it will compliment the Hebrew Nationals pretty well
January 6th, 2023 at 2:01 PM ^
Hater tots!
January 6th, 2023 at 2:02 PM ^
Olives, Toby. They make everything better.
January 6th, 2023 at 2:11 PM ^
Feta stuffed, preferably.
January 6th, 2023 at 2:13 PM ^
With feta? Do you think you're too good for the rest of us?
January 6th, 2023 at 2:25 PM ^
Just trying to class up the joint a little. Besides, daddy had a good year this month.
January 6th, 2023 at 4:13 PM ^
I would have guessed bleu cheese..
January 6th, 2023 at 5:57 PM ^
I found some cheese in the back of fridge that started out maize, but now it's turned blue. Would that be OK?
January 6th, 2023 at 2:17 PM ^
Jalapenos in those bad boys.
January 6th, 2023 at 2:08 PM ^
Mix it all up into a jello mold.
January 6th, 2023 at 6:01 PM ^
Dr. Freud, you have a new patient in the waiting room.
January 6th, 2023 at 2:14 PM ^
If you want to really put on the dog, get some Vienna sausages (pronounced VY-enna if you have to ask for em)
January 6th, 2023 at 2:21 PM ^
Don't forget the gabbagool.
January 6th, 2023 at 2:23 PM ^
January 6th, 2023 at 2:22 PM ^
Charcuterie is nothing but a bigass bougie Lunchable, but dang do I love me a bigass bougie Lunchable.
I can't tell if you're serious or being sacastic, so if you're looking for actual advice, balance your salty meats and fats (cheeses, etc) out with some acid, i.e., pickles or fermented vegetables.
If you're being sarcastic, spread mayo on balogna slices, roll them up and stick them with a toothpick. Or make some proper horse-divorce with a little tuna & mustard on a Ritz. You can add a little paprika to make that s**t look fancy.