OT: Dumb stuff NFL rookies spend their contracts on
Some of these are obvious, some less so. (And some are maybe not as dumb as the other implies.)
But shark tanks? Really?
Funny how there's never a "17 ways owners defraud municipalities." Now that would call for some popcorn.
This stuff is fun but it's also part of an effort to paint the players as the rich and irresponsible ones so the next time Player X doesn't take a hometown discount fans will blame the millionaire for being "selfish" and not the billionaire who won't pay market value (and also is ripping off the city/fans).
Double post
First one. Wow that is easy to do.
I get the point of your above post(s), but as soon as there is an owner who is so irresponsible with his/her money that two years after selling his team he is literally penniless with a broken body and useless mind, let us know. In other words, while you may be right that this is part of an effort to discredit the players a bit, this is also needed to keep some of these kids in check and on level ground.
My clearer point would be something like: Have a laugh at a shark tank but have some empathy and don't indict the group as a whole for it. Lottery winners notoriously lose it all, too, and they don't have broken brains/bodies that their employers profited from as mitigating factors.
And of course owners don't end up penniless; it's real hard to lose that kind of wealth when you're subsidized by taxpayers and leagues. Hell, Wilpons still own the Mets and even the McCourts and Sterlings made fortunes on the sale of their respective teams. The Marlins owners were indicted on a RICO charge and still able to rob Miami on a stadium deal. Don't confuse privilege for competence.
If I got a $20 million windfall, hypothetically, I would not spend it on anything ridiculous, I guarantee it. I would buy one indulgence, though: I would add a room on to my house called the "Hot Chicks Room." It would have black lights and bean bags and disco balls running 24-7. It would have a fully stocked wet bar and plush shag carpeting. But most importantly, it would be fully stocked with hot chicks. New ones, rotating in and out, all the time. This would be the key element of the Hot Chicks Room...
Citizens Brigade reference!
http://www.cc.com/video-clips/apcd4d/upright-citizens-brigade-hot-chick…
One of my all time favorite shows. I still reference "ass pennies" at least 10 times a year...
coincidentally the guys quit picking up all the pennies i drop around the lot during the day.
Might want to rethink the blacklight thing....
Gross.
Oh, Mr. Yost is perfect!!! He is SOOOOO perfect that his semen doesn't glow when exposed to a black light. La-de-daaaaa...
Gronk? Is that you?
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That was either Magic Johnson in his heyday with the Lakers or could have been Charlie Sheen and his goddesses?
Wilt the Stilt?
Excellent, always debatable if he scored more on the court or off the court.
I remember reading an article that Gronk lives entirely off of his endorsements and doesn't dip into his salary at all
but what's the indulgence?
Between paying the hot chicks, the cleaning service, and your inevitable STD treatments, you're looking at a pretty significant ongoing expense.
The hot chicks work for tips (yes, THOSE kind of tips), must clean before they leave, and Cipro is cheap... DUH!
Q: What did the leper say to the prostitute?
A: Keep the tip.
Q: Why was the lepers poker game a failure?
A: Everybody kept throwing in their hands.
Q. Why was there a stoppage of play in the leper hockey game?
A. There was a face off.
I'd love to hear the sales pitch someone gave about investing in Iraqi currency.
They should read this first:
But the floatable furniture is a winner. That is gold Jerry, gold.
Not hard to convince some young guy who has never had enough money to consider investing it that you know how to make him millions without doing any more than writing a check.
Tigers? Come on. It should be illegal to own a tiger or any animal that belongs in the wild. NEWS FLASH: Most animals are not meant to be domesticated.
It is illegal to simply own (by purchase or capture) any animal that is considered wildlife or endangered, but with a permit and appropriate licensing you can own just about anything.
So ridiculous. One should not be able to get a permit to own a wild animal.
Even a Wallaby or Kangaroo?
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Everyone should have a sloth
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My wife has our marriage license
Thank you sir for the laugh!
I refuse to live in a world where I cannot own my lion.
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have no concept about how to save money or use it wisely. As we have seen, it is why so many go bankrupt. Maybe they should have actually gone to their econ 101 classes instead of having someone else take it for them!
happens is simply horrendous money management. one of my cousins was in the NFL for years and his siblings were agents. they would share stories of guys that were getting paid astronomical dollars and would spend it so fast that they were literally broke in a matter of a few months - houses, cars, the 'entourage', parties, you name it, and that money was gone, gone, gone and they had no clue what happened to them.
So the follow up question is how did your coursin do. Did the siblings manage his money properly? All too often allowing family/friends to do that seems like a recipe for disaster...
as an O-lineman. he also had more life skill, sense, and his siblings in case he was tempted to do something stupid.
Did some consulting work for some pro teams and players. There were players literally living paycheck to paycheck while they were still playing (!!!). Not hard to see that the house of cards would crumble once they were out of the league.
Not surprising that 80% of NFL and NBA players file bankruptcy within 2 years after leaving the league.
Even if you get a $20m signing bonus, basically 50% of that is gone after you pay taxes and your agent. Then you start buying expensive stuff that requires money to maintain. Houses? Property taxes on a $5m house are proabably $250k a year. Car insurance for exotics? All this stuff adds up. And then consider the average career in the NFL is only 3 years.
Obviously this will vary by where you live, but in areas with expensive houses property taxes tend to be lower as a percentage of assessed value. Where I live in the Bay Area the property tax on a $5M house would be in the neighborhood of $60K.
Some of these guys are complete morons. They oftentimes forget about taxes and agent fees. Poor investments is likely the number one reason why many athletes go broke. The author's tip for players to rent in the city they play is brilliant. There are luxurious or somewhat luxurious places to rent in every major city.
you're assuming that most know what taxes are. Chances are, most have never paid them before, mostly because they never made enough money.
Anyone catch the reference to Devin Bush? Just thought that was interesting is all. Carry on.
Being a good dude & not dropping a $10,000 dinner on some rookies.
At least half will decide to become a restaurateur despite having no idea about the food service industry:
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But grandma makes some bomb gumbo that the world needs to try! And Uncle Bo's BBQ is second to none.
Cha-CHING!