Gossip thread.

Nope.

I've never seen anybody drive their garbage down to the street and bang the hell out of it with a stick.

People really think Old Man Marley just walks up and down the streets every night, salting the sidewalks?? No Way.  See that garbage can full of salt? That's where he keeps his victims.  The salt turns the bodies... into mummies!

I heard that everything is going down the shitter

Old man marley just goes up and down the street salting the sidewalks. Rumor is he hides the bodies of his victims beneath the salt in the trash bins. 

I heard unsolved mysteries thread guy (good threads!) did all the crimes himself.

I'm beginning to that suspect that Jack isn't actually gay and that Janet and Chrissy are trying to pull a fast one on their landlord.

Quick - somebody wake up Bobby Ewing! Maybe this whole coronavirus thing is just a dream!

What? Wasn't the whole point to this to show how old we are?

I still don't know who shot JR.

colonel mustard

in the library

with the rope 

So anyway, I says to Mabel, I says "She's got that great blonde hair but I saw her at the gym, and the carpet don't match the curtains, know what I mean?"

Actually, I heard this whole thing was concocted in a lab by dogs, because they're immune and it keeps their humans home all day. 

My neighbor is likely having an affair. It’s the 4th time this month the cable truck was parked at her house for “service”. 

The guy across the street looks to have everything in order.  Cleans the driveway of snow before any tire tracks; mows when the lawn has a half inch to cut; driveway is edged to perfection; dog shits in the same spot every time; dog always stays in his yard; Washes his cars at the first sight of dirt or salt; gets food delivered every day to cook; doesn’t drink or smoke...

for having the perfect life, I think his wife absolutely hates him and wants out.

Um, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious.

Someone is day drinking. 

So, my (insert family member or friend) knows someone who works at the (insert government entity), and he/she/they said that Trump is about to impose a (insert number) days quarantine for the whole country starting at (insert time or date).

Good lord, I needed this thread. Marvin, you're my hero (but after a long line of physicians, researchers, chemists, data scientists, nurses, ...).

This one idiot on my street still has Christmas lights on his house.

Oh wait, that's my house.