Better late than never Illinois haikus
November 18th, 2022 at 3:53 PM ^
Hello Illinois
Are you our football rivals?
I hadn't noticed
Usually games
With you are very easy
A couple were tough
Tommy DeVito
Is it always sunny in
Champaign-Urbana?
Did you win the West?
I am happy for you. Or:
Sorry that happened.
November 18th, 2022 at 3:57 PM ^
Illini please know
We MUST face satan perfect
Don't get in the way
The same rotund coach
And same nasty style of play
Wisconsin's moved south
November 18th, 2022 at 4:00 PM ^
Orange is ugly
So is Illinois football
Hail to the Victors
November 18th, 2022 at 4:03 PM ^
November football
Weather can be a factor
Glad We're Tough as Shit
November 18th, 2022 at 4:05 PM ^
Where art thou, Lovie?
Parting was such sweet sorrow.
But Bert now cometh!
November 18th, 2022 at 4:09 PM ^
There was an old man
with a limerick in his hand
but a Haiku heart
About the seniors
always know that those who stayed
became Champions
November 18th, 2022 at 4:12 PM ^
Your coach is quite round
Classic uniforms for us
Hail to the Victors!
November 18th, 2022 at 4:16 PM ^
Lovie's plush gray beard
Will be cherished forever
Except in Champaign
November 18th, 2022 at 4:19 PM ^
The only good thing
To come out of Illinois
is Juwan Howard
November 18th, 2022 at 4:23 PM ^
JJ McCarthy?
November 18th, 2022 at 4:25 PM ^
You can disagree
It is a free country still
But as a haiku
November 18th, 2022 at 4:28 PM ^
Starting Quarterback
Name is JJ McCarthy
From Illinois, Mo!
November 18th, 2022 at 5:49 PM ^
J.J. and Juwan
left Illinois to Go Blue
and drink their milkshake
November 18th, 2022 at 4:23 PM ^
Illini, Tigers
and Bears, oh my! All the
same Orange and Blue.
November 18th, 2022 at 4:24 PM ^
i dont know how to
write good haikus but I do
know illinois sucks
November 18th, 2022 at 4:31 PM ^
Illinois becomes
the eleventh chance to see
a ferret-drowning
November 18th, 2022 at 4:40 PM ^
My limerick failed
As penance I eat some ham
Beat the orange please
November 18th, 2022 at 4:45 PM ^
Hunting suit is clean,
25 degrees is cold
Big House here I come!
November 18th, 2022 at 4:58 PM ^
The Fighting Berts try
to mimic Fighting Harbaughs
Lose by 25
November 18th, 2022 at 5:19 PM ^
Illinois goes down
attention turns to buckeyes
buckeyes will go down.
November 18th, 2022 at 5:35 PM ^
U I Navy Pier
U I Urbana Champaign
U I C all suck
November 18th, 2022 at 5:38 PM ^
Illini looked fierce
they turned out to be a farce
they are falling fast
November 18th, 2022 at 5:47 PM ^
Bert ate my Haiku
Chomp, Chomp, Chomp, Chomp, Chomp, Chomp, Chomp
Waiting for a belch.
November 18th, 2022 at 5:49 PM ^
Let's get eleven
consecutive freaking wins,
and then make it twelve.
Maybe we should try
to fat shame Bert a bit less.
It's not a good look.
November 18th, 2022 at 6:22 PM ^
The jokes are because
There was a time when Bert was
It is hard to grasp
Just how this man could so let
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And certainly, with
His salary, he can get
A gym membership.
November 18th, 2022 at 7:33 PM ^
Well written haikus
with properly formatted
hyperlinks. Good job!
The salary's high
but the hours are ungodly
so I don't blame him
November 18th, 2022 at 6:03 PM ^
Good and bad: our run
game thrives -- they won't foil it; but:
Bert clogs the toilet
November 18th, 2022 at 6:04 PM ^
Facing our run game.
Like stopping a copter crash.
Henry Blake's sweater.
November 18th, 2022 at 9:34 PM ^
Henry Blake's sweater.
Lost on Gen Z but +1 from me!!!
Well done!
November 18th, 2022 at 6:04 PM ^
The Illinois fans
Genuinely believe that
We're their archrival.
How can we break it
To them that to us, they are
Just another school?
November 18th, 2022 at 6:12 PM ^
It's time to welcome
Beer belly and Champaign tastes
Then send them home sad
November 18th, 2022 at 6:27 PM ^
Losing to sparty
Revealed as paper tiger
Illini aren’t good
November 18th, 2022 at 6:36 PM ^
Let us bring meaning
To the Fighting Illini
Who have no rivals
November 18th, 2022 at 6:55 PM ^
The Illini are
Unrivaled! That sounds better
Than it really is.
November 18th, 2022 at 7:38 PM ^
Chief Illiniwek
You are no longer with us
Cue Alma Otter
November 18th, 2022 at 8:56 PM ^
Poor damn Illini
They want to be our rival
Get yourselves in line.
November 18th, 2022 at 9:32 PM ^
Fatty fatty two
by four Bert can't get his ass
through Coach Carr's tunnel
November 18th, 2022 at 9:36 PM ^
Game over by half
Senior day Big House filled with
Beat Ohio chants
November 18th, 2022 at 10:26 PM ^
Not the best team here
Please play real hard anyway
We must win this game
November 18th, 2022 at 10:27 PM ^
Best players from Illinois.
Flip a bird to fighting Illini.
And Go Blue
November 19th, 2022 at 4:51 AM ^
Going for cold beer
inside Fraser’s, pre-game, so that
the Big House warms up.
November 19th, 2022 at 7:12 AM ^
Butkus was the GOAT
But he can not help you now
M 30, I 6
November 19th, 2022 at 3:46 PM ^
Fighting Illini
You gave me a heart attack
Just beat ohio