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Senior Day Haiku

By Brian — November 14th, 2008 at 5:16 PM — 20 comments
Filed under:
  • senior day haiku

Reviving a tradition I did not execute last year: haikus for the graduating scholarship seniors, and other notables. Those with remaining eligibility are omitted.

Mike Massey

You'll probably be
a fancy suit stock broker
so it's not all bad

Will Johnson

Centers never knew
they could be so afraid of
a balding tackle

Tim Jamison

In your younger days
I thought you would be a ninja
or maybe a bear

Charles Stewart

Suggest you cover
deep routes in life, so, like
get health insurance

Morgan Trent

Bet it's annoying
that everyone says you have
a smoking hot mom

Brandon Harrison

You committed to
Tyrone Willingham, which, like
makes you a rare bird

Jason Gingell

No one blames you, man
we all know Crable messed up
if that helps any. No?

Brandon Logan

That Kentucky raid
you played the most from it
it didn't work out

Johnny Thompson

There are worse things than
having an awesome nickname
like "The Machete"

Ohene Opong-Owusu

Did you know  your name,
Ohene Opong-Owu-
su, doesn't fit here?

Austin Panter

You'll be a footnote
"First M JUCO in ten years"
So congrats I guess

Terrance Taylor

What do you get when
you cross a bear, a hydrant,
and a six foot smile?

KC Lopata

Kicking competency
is underrated these days
but I recall Brabbs

UPDATE: (whoops!)

Doug Dutch

Small, nimble slot guy
You showed at Michigan
four years too early

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November 14th, 2008 at 5:25 PM | Charles Stewart (Score:1)
Michigan Arrogance
Michigan Arrogance's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 4299

FTW!

Harvard: The MICHIGAN of the East

We're not arrogant, we're just better.

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November 14th, 2008 at 5:29 PM | 5-7-5, right? (Score:1)
Y2K
Joined: 11/10/2008
MGoPoints: 0

"I thought you would be a ninja"

Can I not count or is that 8 syllables?

And how many of you just counted with your fingers? Cuz I know I did.

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November 14th, 2008 at 5:34 PM | Yes, it is 8. And yes, I (Score:0)
chitownblue (not verified)

Yes, it is 8. And yes, I counted on my fingers.

Contract "you would" to "you'd".

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November 14th, 2008 at 5:35 PM | Oh Grasshopper (Score:1)
Enjoy Life
Enjoy Life's picture
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 2477

The 5-7-5 is for Japanese haiku, Brian uses American haiku!

Besides, how can poetry have rules???

Life should not be a journey to the grave to arrive safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What A Ride!" HST

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November 14th, 2008 at 5:35 PM | stevie brown (Score:1)
matty blue
matty blue's picture
Joined: 08/01/2008
MGoPoints: 377

i am really tired
of seeing that 3 jersey
in the highlight reels

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November 14th, 2008 at 5:36 PM | a few more (Score:1)
JeremyB
JeremyB's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 426

You forgot one:
Sean Griffin (LS):
You're the long snapper.
I've never thought about you.
Therefore: good job, Sean

Alternate:
Morgan Trent:
Henson, Helminen
Took the cash and ran. Not you.
The Pride of Brighton!

This one was still the best ever:
David Harris:
On one of these days
You are going to kill someone.
I'm okay with that.

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November 14th, 2008 at 5:41 PM | steven threet (Score:1)
matty blue
matty blue's picture
Joined: 08/01/2008
MGoPoints: 377

yeah he's kinda slow
but ill always remember
58 yarder!

and johnny thompson:
pass defense? not much.
but look out, because here comes
buffalo stampede!

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November 14th, 2008 at 5:39 PM | Mike Massey (Score:1)
StevieY19
StevieY19's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 127

Good Riddance Masseys,
Your next brother do please tell
Go to OSU!

MIIIIIIIIICH

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November 14th, 2008 at 5:43 PM | Nooooooooo (Score:1)
Enjoy Life
Enjoy Life's picture
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 2477

Brian, now see what you've gone and done -- you've started the Haiku Idol thread -- no one will survive!!

Life should not be a journey to the grave to arrive safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What A Ride!" HST

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November 14th, 2008 at 5:44 PM | Also, 6 syllables on the last (Score:1)
WolvinLA
WolvinLA's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 869

Also, 6 syllables on the last line of the Gingell poem. Still very funny though. All of them. I love the old David Harris one.

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November 14th, 2008 at 5:49 PM | OMG, OMG, OMG !!!!!!! (Score:1)
Enjoy Life
Enjoy Life's picture
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 2477

Human Beings are actually counting all the syllables of all the poems and then posting the results!!

Another sign of the "End of Times"!!

Life should not be a journey to the grave to arrive safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What A Ride!" HST

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November 14th, 2008 at 9:28 PM | Whaddya expect? (Score:1)
DocV8
DocV8's picture
Joined: 09/29/2008
MGoPoints: 0

It's just so rare than we can catch Brian in an obvious error! Why, here it's as easy as throwing an accurate bubble screen. Oh wait...

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November 14th, 2008 at 5:52 PM | more: (Score:1)
Michigan Arrogance
Michigan Arrogance's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 4299

Steve Brown, you are not
a senior yet somehow the
man still keeps you down.

Austin Panter, you
dominated JUCO ball
at least you have that.

Recruiting is a
joke because you were a top
prep wide out, Doug Dutch

Harvard: The MICHIGAN of the East

We're not arrogant, we're just better.

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November 14th, 2008 at 6:05 PM | this reminds me of gregg (Score:1)
bsb2002
bsb2002's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 494

this reminds me of
gregg easterbrook, which is not
a compliment, yuk

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November 14th, 2008 at 6:09 PM | Which Book? (Score:1)
Enjoy Life
Enjoy Life's picture
Joined: 07/02/2008
MGoPoints: 2477

You mean "The Progress Paradox -- How Life Gets Better While People Feel Worse"?

Life should not be a journey to the grave to arrive safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What A Ride!" HST

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November 14th, 2008 at 6:15 PM | i'm sure you can deal with (Score:1)
Brian
Brian's picture
Joined: 05/26/2008
MGoPoints: 63126

i'm sure you can deal with the horror of a haiku post every year.

MGoBlog | email 

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November 15th, 2008 at 12:50 AM | ? It's not like he did creepy (Score:1)
Chrisgocomment
Chrisgocomment's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 1126

?

It's not like he did creepy haiku's for his favorite cheerleaders.

No question, Jim.

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November 14th, 2008 at 6:22 PM | meh (Score:1)
bsb2002
bsb2002's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 494

i'd be more impressed with senior villanelles

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November 14th, 2008 at 7:01 PM | just change KC Lopata's (Score:1)
oriental andrew
oriental andrew's picture
Joined: 06/30/2008
MGoPoints: 4555

from "Kicking competency" to "Kicking competence" and you're good to go with the old school Japanese style haiku.

For my privacy, my new username is "non-Oriental non-Andrew"
 

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November 14th, 2008 at 9:24 PM | Amateur Hour (another for Opong-Owusu) (Score:1)
DocV8
DocV8's picture
Joined: 09/29/2008
MGoPoints: 0

Couldn't resist when this came to mind, for Opong-Owusu:

If a bigger star
Hawaiian War Chant would change
to recite your name

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