How do we beat Alabama?

Schedule them in basketball

could take years and millions of dollars if we rely on conventional weapons

1..Offense; score more than 40 pts. Will need another great game from Shea and then all the receivers. Running game 100 yds or more.

2. Defense; keep Nagee Harris under 200 and closer to 100 yds. If he runs like JK Dobbins or Jonathon Taylor against our D then we lose.

It's a tall task but a winnable game. Odds? Maybe 30% chance of actually winning but not impossible.

If we can't pay players to play for Michigan.  Can we pay players not to play against Michigan?

Put tar on our WR's hands.

By scoring more points.

With math problems. 2 digit addition equations should do it.

Have bagmen pay bama players not to play well

Expect a shootout.  Bama has given up 40+ in three of its last 13 games - and the other ten games mostly were against weak competition.

Hope they are unmotivated and play like crap with lots of turnovers. Hope M stops making stupid mistakes and plays their best game of the season on both sides of the ball. At that point, we have a chance and comes down to the end. 

Play them in a different sport other than football

I just don't see a scenario in which we win this game. That team is more talented than us from top to bottom. Year after year they roll out the best team money can buy.

Somehow get half of their roster suspended in the next couple of weeks... something big and something public.

Anything less than multiple federal offenses will get swept under the rug. Even then, it may not be enough.

Have the players start taking on line classes. Oh yeah....pay them big bucks. Those are the only reasons we don't compete with the top teams. 

Lower academic standards to NCAA minimums, allow players to enroll in all-online course load, have someone else do the course work, swing the doors open to illegal payments and benefits for them, make sure they only miss games against Rutgers if they get caught.

I don't endorse any of this, it just seems like the way the top five or so teams stay that way year after year.

We challenge them to an academic decathlon and for the deciding topic of discussion at the end of an extremely close competition, we choose Athletic Department Ethics.

Best offense is a good defense, boy I’ll tell you hwhat Bobby

We have to have a good passing offense, Shay has got to play great, and defensively we have to have stops.

On paper, we don't match up well with Bama.  The question is does Bama actually want to be at the bowl?  (This is a valid question for us as well.)

Under Saban, Alabama has played in three bowl games that didn't factor into the National Title picture (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Alabama_Crimson_Tide_bowl_games)

• 2009 Sugar Bowl -- L -- 31-17 -- Utah (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_Sugar_Bowl)
• 2011 Capital One Bowl -- W -- 49-7 -- Michigan State (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2011_Capital_One_Bowl)
• 2014 Sugar Bowl -- L -- 45-31 -- Oklahoma (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2014_Sugar_Bowl)

In 2009, Alabama was ranked 4 (all ranking are AP) and Utah 7 and Alabama was a 10 point favorite.

In 2011, Alabama was ranked 15 and MSU 7 and Alabama was a 10 point favorite (https://www.sports-ratings.com/college_football/2010/12/2011-capital-one-bowl-preview-odds-and-prediction-michigan-state-vs-alabama.html).

In 2014, Alabama was ranked 3 and Oklahoma 10 and Alabama was a 17.5 point favorite.  This is the Alabama team that lost to Auburn via the Kick Six.

My recollection of the Utah and Oklahoma games was that Alabama seemed disinterested in playing those games.  Clearly, that wasn't the case against MSU.

I think it is pretty safe to assume that Alabama was a superior team in each of those three games, but lost two because of a lack of interest.  

I don't understand how you guys aren't excited for this game.  If you were ever going to have a year to beat Alabama, this is it.  Their defense is suspect, they don't have a great running game, they have been pass heavy all year and don't have Tua.  You guys are looking like this as a punishment, you should be looking at it as an opportunity.  If you want a boost in recruiting, go beat Alabama.  If you want to salvage the season after the UW/OSU losses, go beat Alabama.  Do the B1G conference a favor and go beat Alabama.  If your players don't get up for this game, then you seriously need to look at your coaches.

Don't make mistakes and get stupid penalties. Alabama will be hard to beat if we play clean, and impossible to beat if the teams makes unforced errors.

Borrow Clemson's Defensive Coordinator and secondary. No matter how you spin it-unless their entire WR core does not play, it's not a good match up for Michigan. I heard all of the same stuff on here before the OSU game. Bottom line- they are much better with players and coaching. Much much better  

Outscore them, the only chance I see. Overall their defense is a bit weaker than years past. I'm still expecting Alabama to win due to the fact our defensive line is small and we can not stop teams with big OL and a good RB.

Only advantage I can think of is that Gattis may know how to handle Saban? maybe?  outside of that I don't see where we'd have an advantage.

In a nutshell...we don't.

Bama compares to OSU, might have more WR talent and a better O Line overall.  But defensively they aren't as good as OSU.

The thing about Bama is that they are way more physical than anyone we ever play.  They really try to intimidate teams early. If we can match that early and maintain composure we have a shot.

See if we can get Mo Hurst back for a game.

Coachspeak has taught me that this is the key:

You gotta run the ball, you gotta pass the ball and you gotta score points. 

Steal possessions and fill in the other gaps with prayer.

Steal possessions and fill in the other gaps with prayer.

Q: "How do we beat AL?"

A: score more than 45 points, because I suspect that is how many AL is going to put up

Lol @ roll of $20’s in the players pockets. Really $20’s?! Saban clause is a tight ass. 

The way I see it, our main problems right now are that the defense isn’t stopping the run, the receivers are dropping passes, and the penalties have been self-inflicted wounds that kept opponents’ drives alive. Sometimes Shea loses concentration, i.e., the fumble where he took his eye off the snap.

There’s one potential saving grace: Media pundits are saying that ‘Bama’s first-rounders are unlikely to play in view of their draft stock.

If we somehow eke out a win, and ‘Bama winds up 10-3, do you think the Tide fans are going to call for Saban’s head? Highly unlikely.

If we go 9-4, will our so-called fan base of self-haters call for JH’s head? Absolutely. They’re already doing it and the game hasn’t even been played. Michigan fans (and I include myself) sometimes would rather shit the bed than admit that in the modern era we’re going to have to be pretty patient in rebuilding this program to its potential.

My submission for #hottake segment of next podcast:

Bring on Alabama.  Let's roll the damn tide.  Michigan will win by double digits.

Reasons this take is maybe not so hot:

• No Tua.
• Saban with 1 month to prep = Harbaugh with 1 month to prep
• Bama has 0 wins against top 25 teams (0-2).  
• Michigan has been better tested (5 games against top 25 teams, 2-3 in those games.)
• Alabama defense isn't scary (See @chunkums post about how many points they've given up and the SP+ rankings of those offenses).
• Alabama has #57 rushing offense (by total yards--one spot above Maryland) or #53 rushing offense (by yards/carry--3 spots above Maryland).  [For reference OSU and Wisconsin are top 15 rushing attacks by these metrics (OSU top 5).]
• They'll be up for this one, and have a recent memory about what stupid shit will do to you.  (Seriously, nobody untie the RBs shoes, mmkay?)

I could go on, but, seriously this could be a big win.  At the very least, Bama is mortal when they don't make the SEC title game and lose to Auburn:

• 2017 -- Bad example.  Beat clemson, won the whole damn thing.  (But Auburn was only loss, and --I think-- they were in a tie for the division championship.)
• 2013 -- Lost to OU in Sugar Bowl.  31-45.
• 2010 -- Beat MSU in Cap 1 Bowl.  49-7.
• 2007 -- Doesn't count...Saban's first year.

Roll the damn tide.  

If their bus breaks down...

Just Fucking Play Hard. Please. 

Please Michigan Please. Show me that your excited to play a big game vs a big opponent. You can't win if you don't want it. 

By taking the good things on offense from the OSU game and executing them for the whole game without costly mistakes to win in a shootout.