Picture Pages: Datbull
By now everyone has heard the saga of Jay Harris. The former Michigan State wide receiver commit out of Pennsylvania has parted ways with the Spartans to pursue his rap career. There are varying accounts of exactly what happened; Harris claimed it was a mutual decision, and MSU sources are indicating they dropped him like... well, like a Michigan State wide receiver would drop something. But with all the drama of how this went down, one thing got lost in the shuffle: the music.
[Caution: lyrics are very much NSFW]
Harris put together a this epic music video, so it's only fitting that we analyze said video to try to unlock the genius within.
We open on the most hardcore of all yard equipment storage structures, the shed. This particular shed is especially thug, because it is tagged. On the inside. So whoever was inside the shed would know whose shed it was. A lone young man sits, and while we presume him to be our protagonist, but he has not yet told us his name.
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Oh damn, there goes that scholarship. Oh well. Now we can move on to our hero's true talents like...
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...being a fire-breathing dragon.
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"Datbull fo life. Fo fo life. I'm Datbull fo life. Fo life..."
Finally, a flicker of insight into his identity. Yes, our hero has a name. And like most males, he will go by that name for the rest of his life. But apparently he has had trouble in the past convincing people of either his identity or the vehemence with which he will stand by that identity, so he repeats himself several times to drive home his point. He is Datbull, and he shall remain as such for life.
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He seems to have lost focus, though in fairness it seems to be through little fault of his own.
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Mr. Bull has surrounded himself with a group of likeminded compatriots, but one (who may or may not be pre-weight loss Jonah Hill) has been ostracized from the group. He is made to stand behind a gate. This seems unfair, but perhaps there is a good reason. Only time will tell.
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"I'm Datbull fo life. I take yo wife. Take his b*tch and his b*tch..."
Our scene shifts to the pavilion at a local park. Pavilions, of course, are among the thuggest of the open-air structures. What, were you gonna say that pagodas are harder? You think a weak-ass gazebo could survive in the rap game? Hell no. But I hope they reserved that pavilion, because if that Boy Scout Troop shows up, they'll kick you out again. They plan ahead.
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"She dancin' [in close proximity to my genitals] like she practicing that ballet"
That's... sir, that's not a nice thing to say about his wife.
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"And there's mollys in the building so you know I'm popping three..."
We return to the safety of the shed, and we are led to notice the amount of seating available. How many gatherings are you hosting in this shed?
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[I have no idea what he's saying]
This is a tactical error by the director. This large pile of money is barely noticeable. That should be fanned out and/or made to rain. This is standard protocol.
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[Something about being Van Gogh if Van Gogh smoked weed]
Another embarrassing mistake with the vehicle shot. We clearly see our cameraman's hand on the 'oh shit' handle.
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Dude, you just got your own words wrong. We need to get out of this car. Go back to the shed. Or the the street. Things were going pretty well in the street.
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"I'm like Jordan to the game but you can call me DB..."
Thank God, we're back on the street. And it appears that Datbull has carried on the recent tradition of Michigan State wide receiver commits, in that he (a) enjoys basketball, and (b) won't end up playing wide receiver at Michigan State.
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They've finally let Jonah Hill out from behind the gate, which DAMNIT JONAH GET YOUR HAND OFF OF YOUR JUNK. We're filming a goddamn music video here. I mean...you know what? No. Get back behind your gate.
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"...you can call me Datbull. Fo life. Fo fo life. Fo life. You know. You know."
The lyrics conclude. But there is still a full 1:18 left in the video. I'm not sure how we're gonna fill that time, but whatever. Once you’ve made your point, there’s really no point in continuing. And I think we’re all pretty clear about the message. Datbull. Fo Life.
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Drugs are bad, mmmkay?
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The group gathers once more under the pavilion. Jonah has been forced to stand to the side. This is for everyone's safety (see: 2:02).
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We fade to black. There are still 57 seconds left in the video. It's clear now how we are going to fill the remaining time: by not.
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And now we're completely dark. Do... do we leave now? I mean, there's still some sound, but it's like they forgot we were still here. Oh well, let's wait to see if there are some special features at the end, like Datbull and his friends eating shawarma.
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Not looking promising.
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Nope. Just a bold and unconventional artistic choice by the artist, as if to say, 'I don't need graphics or lyrics or sounds of any kind. I'm Datbull. Fo life. You know? You know."
Made my lunch...oh the things people would do for a football scholarship..even to State. And he chose this?! I'm sure MSU did their homework on him and he was clean..
Maybe we can get him on Tosh.O for a web redemption.......
I'm confused about the video. So, Jay Harris smokes and then he becomes Datbull? Is this like a Miley Cyrus/Hannah Montana thing?
This entire post is embarrassing:
Embarrassing for Jay harris. Embarrasing for Michigan state. And embarrasing for MgoBlog to have this much front page content devoted to this particular fellow.
One of MgoBlog's greatest traits is its ability to mix in humor with relevant content. i love that about the blog. But this joke has gone stale. In fact it's shelf life was miniscule to begin with.
I feel MGoSad when i see the blog becoming that much more similar to it's antithesis, RCMB.
If the writers on RCMB can write with this much talent, maybe I should check it out after all.
It's May. This content is completely relevant.
I would be quite content if this were typical of stuff posted here.
He's a high school kid who isn't even playing football. Get a life.
No offense, but this entire post is one huge troll. Takes one to know one, I guess.
Awkward_Amalgamation not fo life.
*chirp*
No, dude. He's right.
I feel like you critics are not getting the "picture pages" humor in this.
The 57 seconds is very Todd Snider. "Silence -- music's original alternative."
Or maybe it's 57 seconds of 4'33" - letting the environment record the music for him, allowing each person who listens to hear the various subtleties in the background, composing a piece that removes the composer from the fate of the piece.
...is always more chronic on the other side of the gate.
Oh great, now the poor kid is going to get a bunch more hits on his video and this will cement in his drug-addled brain the notion that forgoing a college education to pursue his rap career is a good idea. Thanks BiSB, for aiding the corruption of the youth of America.
If you need reassurance, just check the thumbs up/thumbs down ratio for his video.
Good God that was awful and I could only stomach the first 45 seconds. Hats off to you sir for being able to endure that crap let alone breaking down the finer points of his rap/video artistry!
BiSB and anyone getting a lockout of this, just proves that you all aren't that different from MSU or OSU fans. Literally, who cares one ounce about this knucklehead or this situation.
This is a puerile, sophomoric and down right BS post. I can't believe the proprietor, i.e. Brian, approves of this. New lows around here.
1. It's May.
2. The post was funny.
What's wrong with a bit of schadenfreude at a rival's expense?
while the video was borderline gawd awful, the rap skills are decent.
I know mods don't care about their points, but you deserve 50,000 for sitting through that entire video long enough to analyze it. Great work. I hope your mental health is still fully intact.
of his video cruel and uncessary. school-yard bullying.
When you announce in a very public fashion that you are leaving football to focus on your rap career, and you start doing radio interviews trying to publicizing your rap career, you forfeit the right to not be mercilessly mocked for your rap career.
...however short that career may be.
30 something grown-ass man 'mercilessly' mocking the (to put it kindly) art of a teenager is pathetic
I apologize for condoning rape. Because that's absolutely what I did.
Meh. Kid wants to be a celebrity. This is what celebrities have to deal with. Whenever you put anything out there for public consumption you run the risk that you'll be mocked. Would it be better to falsely praise the video and thereby give him the unwarranted belief that he's actually a good rapper? Better he knows early on, so he can redefine his goals (though he already - unwisely, IMO - burned the four-year-college-scholarship bridge).
but exactly how long will DatBull be keeping that name?
This is varsity mimicry. Well done. Well done indeed.
where the comments are at least as funny as the posts - well done.
If it helps you're probably overestimating the number of people who will see this and remember it for more than a week or so. No such thing as bad publicity right? He's probably gotten more exposure than he could have hoped at this point.
Someone deserves some phat stacks of skrilla for this.
"I need to be that same kind of dick to myself."
--A. Bernard
Follow your dreams, kid. Follow your dreams.
More like Bat(shit-crazy)Dull.
But the diary made me laugh. Fo' life, Bitches. Fo' Life.
how can we have missed the best part of this whole thing?
he seriously ripped off Chief Keef's "O Block 4 Life"
(it's ok to trust me, i have a UM musicology degree. i considered passing up the fellowship to pursue a career in rock music, until Prof. Borders pointed out *ding!* I could do both...)
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