OT - MGo School/Life Advice Sought
Hey all. In a bid to stretch the OT rules in the offseason to their breaking point, I figured I would submit my dilemma to the board, as I respect your collective MGoOpinion.
First, a little backstory: Due to my family’s financial situation (we moved to Michigan too late to be considered in-state), I graduated Michigan in three years and lived at home. For this coming year, I have been accepted to grad school at a prestigious school on the East Coast, which is also very expensive. In a bid to cut down on cost, I applied to be an RA for incoming Freshman, which provides free housing. My parents also have jobs which are not tied to the state, so they have already decided to move to the city in which I am attending school, as we are a pretty tightly-knit bunch (and get along extremely well). I have been offered the option of being an RA, or I could continue living at home, but I am not sure which is the best option. Here’s how I have it broken down:
Pros (for being an RA):
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I am almost 22, and haven’t really seriously lived on my own before for a longer period than a month or so - gotta start sometime.
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My grad program is very small (I think my “concentration” has maybe 10 people), so having a different social core might be a plus.
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I have added incentive to get out and do stuff on weekends, etc., because of other RAs, and house events.
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I also never had the “traditional undergrad experience”, so seeing it firsthand, and being a part of it, might be nice.
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Just generally totally start something new, and making a clean break.
Cons (for being an RA)
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Basically, I am starting a program in which I don’t have tons of background, and in the first semester, I might be too overwhelmed with work to do a good job as an RA, and vice versa, and just generally too thinly stretched.
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If I devote a bunch of time (my contract says 15-20 hours a week is average; it might be less) to being an RA, I might miss out on networking with others in my program, or other valuable components I am paying tons of money for.
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I also might be in very high contact with people I don’t get along with well, and since I am an RA, might not be able to avoid that, or even minimize contact. Similarly, if there are discipline issues (or really any kind of issues), I have to try to fix them.
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Not sure as a grad student with tons of work I want to really deal with the “undergrad experience”, and loud noises at 3AM I may have to fix.
I am pretty evenly split on this, so any insight would be greatly appreciated.
At the time, before RAs and RD's were required to be in specific majors/ degree programs, I probably "worked" 3-4 hours a week. We were required to be on call like 1 weekend day a month and 1 day a week, which worked out well as I studied during those times.
Being an RA was an awesome job. I was able to live in South Quad, eat for free and meet a bunch of cool students/ other RAs. I would suggest this route over living with parents.
He's going to Penn... so my vote is to do the RA thing since you'll be living on campus. I'm assuming your parents would be living a bit further away and Philly isn't the best city for commuting (especially to West Philly).
Sounds like the living expenses of home vs as an RA would be a wash. At home, you're living pretty much free and free housing as an RA, so go a step beyond. If you're on campus you can probably save money on gas not needing to drive all that much, maybe even park it and turn the motor over once a month to keep the battery charged. Another thing to consider is living on your own is a skill really that takes time to perfect, so I'd take this step as an RA. Even in a controlled environment like a dorm, its still something to work on. And as an RA, you'll be developing more leadership/management skills and working with others, as the above poster mentions you're the authority figure, not their buddy.
Just my 13 cents...
For 4, just go to sleep your job is not that serious.
Dude, it's time to leave the nest! You need to move out of your parents' house, and experience the world. Like Chunkums said, I didn't even need to read past your first pro.
What's that fleshy patch of skin between your legs, where your balls should be?...grow a pair!
I think the RA route would be best. To be honest, while your family may be tight knight, having your parents move to be there while you're going through grad school sounds way too over protective to me.
good chunk of that is just that they don't have much reason to be in Ann Arbor as 60 year olds if I am not here, and new city X is as good a place as any.
There has to be a cost of moving unless your parents live in an RV. As someone approaching your parents age I do think it would be creepy if they followed you. Also it's not only you that need to develop on your own but your parents have to develop a life without their kids.
The whole empty nest thing is something your parents need to adjust to. Be an RA and start living on your own it will be best for everyone.
Agreed. I thought it was really weird that he said his parents wanted to move with him.
Don't they have jobs? Even if they're retired, why not stay in Ann Arbor than upend their lives? Besides, you can stay in contact. I Skype regularly with friends and family, and you can always visit, or they can come out and visit you.
One phone call a week. Ten minutes.
Everything is fine and nothing has changed.
Love you too Mom.
Done.
Parents seriously moving to be in the same place you're going to grad school and want you to live with them? Hell man, don't just become an RA, become an astronaut. Get out of there.
had to. Moving sort of works for them too, and we'll probably see each other like once a month for coffee or something.
I also might be in very high contact with people I don’t get along with well,
This is called "real life." Might as well have that experience in what amounts to a laboratory environment before you have to do that as part of a job and don't handle it well because you've never been there before.
And honestly, I can't recall any RA in the world working 20 hours a week at RAing. Good God no.
You really won't have the "true" undergrad experience as an RA. But you will have the chance to strike out on your own for a while, and that's invaluable.
I once walked in on my RA doing a line of blow off of my dresser at 9 PM on a Tuesday. The experience is what you make it!
What a dick. Could've waited till you got home to raid your stash.
Was it your blow?
And you remember it was a Tuesday?
It's not like he can just choose to be a TA. Departments usually reserve those positions for students at particular points in their grad programs to give them teaching experience or financial support after their fellowship terms expire. That he's apparently paying tuition makes it likely that he wouldn't even be considered for such positions.
you guys convinced me. I shall do it!
I would be leery of going into a non-STEM grad program no matter what the positives were unless your parents are loaded; take it from a guy married to someone who just got a humanities PhD and ended up in a really good spot--adjunct at M--against all odds. It is rough out there for grad students who can't turn their degrees into industry jobs.
This is the correct response. Some insight into what you are studying would be helpful OP.
As someone with a humanities PhD who has a good job, some further advice.
1. Everything that Brian says is true about the job market. There are occasional boom fields (in my discipline, if you're doing interesting work in African or Middle Eastern history, you're in a good place) but the chances are you'll have very constrained job opportunities when you finish and will need to have extreme locational flexibility, with very little control over wheer you work.
2. I strongly advise all my students not to apply or enter a humanities/social science doctoral program straight out of undergrad. When I do grad admissions, I am highly skeptical of such students. School is essentially all you know. After a few years out, you'll have a better idea of what you're interested in and why it matters.
3. If you're paying significant amounts of tuition for humanities/social science grad work, you are being taken advantage of. Don't get a Masters at a big name program. You are being used as a cash cow. You won't get attention from faculty and they won't have the same investment they have in their doctoral students (who the department is making ~$200,000 investments in over the course of their studies).
4. If you want/need a masters to be prepared for doctoral work, to figure out if you want to do this as a career, find a public institution with a terminal masters program. The level of the students will be uneven, but the professors will be excited at your development as a scholar and your classes will be the highlight of their teaching.
I'd be more worried about what the grad program is in and whether there are really truly any jobs in the field than worry about the exact modalities of the living arrangements.
Oh, and pack plenty of underwear. You can never have too much underwear.
Are you kidding? This guy DOES NOT do his own laundry. Nor will he ever it appears.
Get away from the parents ASAP
The RA route sounds interesting, Whether dorms or fraternities, you get a very different social experience from what you've had at home. Being an RA will allow you to meet all kinds of people in a living situation. Believe it or not, as a 22 year old, you will be looked at with respect, as someone who is "older" and wiser. You still don't have the stress of maintaining a household (cooking, shopping, bills, etc.) Also, if you find that it really isn't for you, well, you can move back home next year.
I do find it odd that your parents would move to the city where you're going to school. That seems very strange.
MGoUser burtcomma was an RA in South Quad . . . if there's a way through the mods to contact him, you'd be able to ask someone who actually can tell you the pros and cons of being an RA in a zoo of a dorm.
There will always be excuses not to move on to the next stage of your life and grow. If you struggle with becoming an RA, you will evolve and adapt accordingly. If you stay at home while you work on your grad degree, it will be just as daunting when it's time to graduate and move on to "a real job."
I had a girlfriend one time who was an RA (not my RA), and it really wasn't as bad as you're afraid it might be. You'll probably have a couple clowns and a few difficult incidents throughout the year, but she didn't spend a great deal of time "working." Most of the time she had to "work" was when she had to be on duty, which basically meant she couldn't leave the building - but she could just chill in her room, watch TV, do homework, hang out with friends, etc.
I did the undergraduate business program too so that was a bit of a time suck as well.
I had so much fun, but you need to have the right mentality. I did not mind kids getting hammered and watching them puke in the bathroom while I made sure they didn't die. If you hate getting abruptly woken up at 3 in the morning because some girl broke up with her b/f or a pledge for a fraternity lost his keys----you probably shouldn't do this.
I am pretty tight with my former residents and saved a bunch of money from the free room / board.
If you have the right personality do it for sure! You need to like people and learning about people and putting up with their nonsense; it's great training for the "real world"
Hours aren't bad at all. I was at Ross, on the ultimate frisbee team, and had a few other jobs while an RA (I needed to pay for school), I may be weird but I made it work.
Regardless, I would stop living with your parents as soon as possible.
Holler at me if you have additional questions:
aaronboz at umich
who has basically been on his own since he was 18, I have some suggestions.
1. Don't move out until you're ready. Everyone matures at different stages and it has to be something you can handle emotionally.
2. That being said, an RA is a very manageable job. It depends largely on how you view it or handle it. You can be a really active RA and check in on everybody, or you can be a more laid back RA and deal with things as they come. I don't know anyone who was overwhelmed from an RA job if they took it in stride. If it's a new school, treat it as if you're a summer camp counselor and you're arriving at the camp for the first time. It's more about being the responsible role model.
3. Take any opportunity you can get at free housing. It doesn't get any easier once you graduate permanently and have to start paying the rent. If this RA job offers you a chance to live for free and save a little money so you can have some fall-back cash, I'd say that's a pretty good deal.
4. Don't be afraid to ask advice from other people. No one expects you to have all the answers at a place with which you're unfamiliar. Try to make friends with an RA who has been there for 2-3 years and pick his/her brain for how they go about it.
make some compelling arguments, and I think I will take the position after all. It sounds like a change, but an overall good one that I can probably manage. To answer some of Brian and Co's concerns, it's a two year Master's program that's in a field related to policy. So, the pro is that it's fairly broadly transferable, and the con is that it's not a lucrative field/is one that is just bouncing back, and probably slowly. I have actually been out of school a year, and finally decided to go back, as these degrees never get cheaper, and while it's still more expensive than I'd like, I really haven't been doing anything I do like, or would stick with, and this is a field I had been considering since Freshman year. I think the concern with anything like this is the cash cow nature and cost/benefit stuff, but a professor of mine basically said you want to go to the biggest name possible, because if you want to switch fields at all/move away from your original field, overall name means more than program rep.
If it's an MPP/MPA, those are generally not cash cow degrees and have good flexibility/decent earning potential post degree. I was talking more about MA's in english/history/anthropology at institutions with PhD programs. Sounds like you're making solid choices.
, but in the policy side of that.
Nice! From one City Planner (UM BA '00, Wayne State MUP '04) to a future planner, congratulations on your acceptance to Penn and making a great career choice. You'll have a great opportunity to shape the everyday environment and contribute to a better society, it's truly a fantastic field.
Any idea on what your ideal first job out of school would be?
Well, my area of study is community and economic development, so ideally I would like to work on fixing blighted areas and stuff like that. Long-term I would like to work in Detroit on something similar, but it's just a matter of where I can find work.
That's great. While I was at Wayne finishing up my MUP I had the opportunity to have internships with Vanguard Community Development Corporation (West Grand Blvd and 1-75) and Mexicantown CDC (Warren and I-96) and while the battle surely isn't going to be easy, I'm confident that it can be won in the long term.
You're going to get all the technical knowledge you can ever want, I'm sure, at Penn. But it was a shock to me when I entered the real world of working with developers, so my few points of advice: 1) Remember to savor the small victories, because massive change in depressed areas doesn't happen overnight. 2) There isn't a more highly political (small p) field than planning. When you're trying to improve what is going on in people's backyards, you're going to stir up a hornets nest. Listen to those voices, but remember you're the expert and don't be afraid to do something unpopular if your education/experience convinces you it is the right thing. Nobody would tell a heart surgeon how to do bypass surgery, but everyone thinks they are land use experts. They aren't, trust me.
And if you're looking for work too long after school, look me up on here - I'm more than willing to vouch for another UM educated planner to my various contacts (if you don't mind the heat of the Phoenix region).
A heads-up for you: Urban planning was my undergraduate major, and I tried, for a little bit of a while, to get a job in that field after I'd left the Navy. One thing I learned about that, and from the experiences of a few other folks in my class, was that you can't be at all picky about where you work. You basically have to be willing to go anywhere in the country. This is part of the reason I didn't stay in the field. Just one man's anecdotal experience, but that's what I found when I looked. If working in Detroit is what you want (and that's what I wanted) I'd suggest being constantly on the lookout for opportunities there even while you're working elsewhere.
I pick option C... RA and tell your parents to stay in Michigan.