I'm Batman

January 17th, 2015 at 10:45 PM ^

the Funk is a living creature. It's 'bout the size of a medicine ball, but covered in teats. It came from another planet, and landed on Bootsy Collins's house.  Back then Bootsy was just a simple farmer. But he took one look at all of those mauve titties and he lost his mind. He began to milk the Funk. Made himself a Funk shake. Began to feel fizzy inside. He found he could see 'round corners. Suddenly, he passed out. But when he came to, baby, he was slapping a bass guitar fast and loose like some kind of delirious, funky priest. Two months later, he was world-famous with his band, Parliament, and everybody wanted a piece of the Funk:Rick Wakeman, even the Bee Gees.  One day, Parliament was traveling on the mothership, fooling around with the Funk, when George Clinton kicked the Funk clean overboard.  That was July the Second, 1979, the Day the Funk died.  Two weeks later, I found the Funk, in bed with a conger eel. At first I thought it was a sea anenome, but under closer inspection, I realized it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.  I offered to take him back to Parliament, but he said he was done with that shit, and that they never listened to him anyway, and were only interested in his funky produce. So I let him live down here, with me, in this cave.

Joined: 08/18/2014

MGoPoints: 4334

alum96

January 18th, 2015 at 1:44 AM ^

It's telling what type of jobs most of our former staff is getting.  Very telling.   Some said we had a MAC level staff in the position coaches, and it's looking like that by and large, although i think SJSU is below MAC level.

Joined: 04/28/2012

MGoPoints: 82515

Mr. Yost

January 18th, 2015 at 10:18 AM ^

Nuss goes to UF...solid move. Solid coach.

Everyone else? Not so much.

It's not surprise we didn't develop anyone the entire time we were here. We had a bunch of MAC coaches for the most part.

You can't compete with the big boys with that nonsense, you don't even know what you're competing AGAINST. 

Very sad when you think about it, we should all feel duped.

Joined: 07/25/2011

MGoPoints: -9898220

Mr. Yost

January 17th, 2015 at 9:06 PM ^

Mallory is at Wyoming. Someone said Borges and Ferrigno are at SJSU.

Hoke is still getting paid so he can take a year off for sure, his brother was the DB coach for the Bears and they just got a new coach so there's a HC/DC combo for a MAC team. I'd take it and make Hecklinski the OC.

Not sure where Smith is.

Hope Manning finds a job as a DL coach and learns it and then takes over for GMatt when he retires.

Joined: 07/25/2011

MGoPoints: -9898220

1of12MattDamons

January 17th, 2015 at 9:06 PM ^

 

Joined: 12/16/2013

MGoPoints: 21106

Mr. Owl

January 17th, 2015 at 9:10 PM ^

Good for him.  By all accounts he is supposedly a good line coach.  Couldn't really prove it by the last couple seasons, but still... Good for him.

Pun time.

Glad we got the Funk outta here!

(Side note: There were many times I said something watching the OL the last couple seasons I said something that sounded close to "Funk.")

Joined: 01/15/2015

MGoPoints: 346

East German Judge

January 17th, 2015 at 9:24 PM ^

While it is good for him and his family that he was able to find another school to coach at, but his last 4 years here did not show that he was a good coach.  The OL was nothing short of an abject and utter failure.  Michigan use to be one of the best rushing teams, but we couldn't under Funk AND we couldn't protect Devin at all.  Shocking that he was allowed to coach here for as long as he did.  And what players did he really help to develop and please don't say Lewan who always got beat especially in the biggest games.

Joined: 10/05/2014

MGoPoints: 190481

ChicagoGangViolins

January 17th, 2015 at 9:16 PM ^

And I'm rather fine with that outcome for both parties. I wish Coach Funk well. I wish my Michigan Feetsball even well-er, and I'm pleased that Coach Mattison has remained with the team. Good things are headed our way. Yes, I ate my Wheatley's for breakfast.

Joined: 09/07/2014

MGoPoints: 840

Mr. Yost

January 17th, 2015 at 9:53 PM ^

What if you could get this staff? I'd take it (I realize Zook is a stretch to work UNDER Hoke, but Hoke's never been a coordinator)

HC: Brady Hoke
QB: Chuck Long
RB: Mike Hart
WR/PSC: Jeff Hecklinski
TE/ST: Kevin Koger
OL/RGC: Jeff Quinn
DC/CB: Ron Zook
DL: Mark Smith
LB: Roy Manning
S: Marcus Ray

...that staff has obvious Michigan bias, but it's actually not that bad. It doesn't have a Nuss or Mattison, but it's probably better or (as good) in all of the other spots.

If I was a mid-major team I'd take this staff in a heartbeat. FYI - for those that don't know, Jeff Quinn was fired from Buffalo as HC, he has an OC/OL background.

You'd have FOUR former head coaches.

Zook has a heavy special teams background, so I wouldn't worry about Koger in this situation.

Fun fact: Hoke took over for Chuck Long at SDSU, when he left, his DC, Rocky Long became head coach (no relation to Chuck)

Joined: 07/25/2011

MGoPoints: -9898220

CoverZero

January 17th, 2015 at 10:47 PM ^

Anything with Hoke as the HC has a large possibility for mediocrity or failure.  He is a delegator, lazy and unwilling to improve his own coaching ability, soft on his team and out-of-touch with the technical demands of a 21st century college football HC.

Joined: 08/30/2014

MGoPoints: 14571

1201SouthMain

January 17th, 2015 at 11:41 PM ^

It has a real world impact. I've hung out with Funk's kid more than a few times because we have kids same age. I wanted Hoke to get canned but at same time I realized it would mean Funk's kid would be moving.

Joined: 11/25/2008

MGoPoints: 1250

1201SouthMain

January 17th, 2015 at 11:42 PM ^

It has a real world impact. I've hung out with Funk's kid more than a few times because we have kids same age. I wanted Hoke to get canned but at same time I realized it would mean Funk's kid would be moving.

Joined: 11/25/2008

MGoPoints: 1250