Obama names Brian Kelly New Secretary of State
Bleacherreport is reporting that Barack Obama has named Cincinatti Head Coach Brian Kelly his new Secretary of State. When asked for comment, Obama stated the following:
"When I learned that Notre Dame was interested in Mr.Kelly, I knew I had to act quick and beat them to the punch. The way he was able to dominate Div 2 football, the MAC, and now the Big East...it is clear that Mr.Kelly is one of the smartest five men on the planet and should be feared by all. Having Mr.Kelly as a member of my cabinet, we will begin using his tactics to rule the universe."-Obama
Kelly has taken his Cincinatti squad to an unprecedented 9-0 record and #4 ranking in the AP poll. It is clear that, despite his defense giving up huge points to UCONN, his offense is the savior of not only Cincinatti football, but of all mankind. Obama's move is the smart and pertinent move at this point. It is not even a possibility that he is just this year's new, hot young Urban Meyer-esque coach. Not even a possibility. No way at all. He is the best of all time and the only problem this writer has with his joining Obama's cabinet is that we won't get to see him lead the Domer's to 17 straight National Titles.
-Johnny Domer-Bleacherreport
November 10th, 2009 at 9:51 PM ^
Is too big to fail, right?
November 10th, 2009 at 9:55 PM ^
Charlie is big and he is full of fail.
November 10th, 2009 at 9:52 PM ^
I'd love to see Hillary Clinton giving the pregame speech at Notre Dame.
November 10th, 2009 at 9:57 PM ^
On a serious note, if Notre Dame offers her the job, Hillary has to be take it right? I mean it's Notre Dame.
November 10th, 2009 at 9:59 PM ^
Why do so few people know how to spell "Cincinnati"?
November 10th, 2009 at 10:01 PM ^
I have to spell check every time I type it. No sugarcoat.
EDIT: I understand why some people phonetically put in the double t, but my problem is which set of n's to double. For some reason, when I was a kid, I thought it was spelled "Cinncy". No idea why, but that's adversely affected how I try to spell Cincinnati. I'll just talk about the Reds or the Bengals, avoiding any semblance of geographical origins.
November 10th, 2009 at 10:07 PM ^
hell I'm from Ohio and I still have to think it out
November 10th, 2009 at 10:09 PM ^
have to check the spelling, now I go there.
I'm not really connected to the University, M will always be my alma mater. All the other colleges are just places I graduated from.
November 10th, 2009 at 10:30 PM ^
At least you go to the school with the best football team in the state.
November 11th, 2009 at 12:17 AM ^
I don't remember if anyone had given them credit for being the best football team in the state.
November 11th, 2009 at 2:01 AM ^
C'mon Blue it's not that difficult. Spell it with me:
cin
cin
nati
November 10th, 2009 at 11:14 PM ^
Everybody knows Tim Tebow is our next Secretary of State.
Cuba will start a democracy and Jihadists will stop suicide bombings after spending 15 minutes with him.
November 11th, 2009 at 2:36 PM ^
tim tebow is our next pope. silly.
November 10th, 2009 at 11:28 PM ^
Good for us, we can stop pissing our pants. Bad for Iran, North Korea, and the Taliban - they got problems for real now!
November 11th, 2009 at 1:08 AM ^
"The Czar" would be kind of a cool nickname for a coach, especially if he was the old-school type.
November 11th, 2009 at 2:05 AM ^
You totally just went into my base and killed my d00dz. And I was so proud of myself...
November 11th, 2009 at 2:19 AM ^
Take a moment to appreciate the mullet.