The State Of Our Open Threads: After Bowling Green
I am sure that many of you were thinking the same thing I was around, say, 9 PM last night. That is to say, if we were going to have one of THOSE games, certainly now would be the time to have it. You know, the sort of game where you win, and then you think about all those times where someone said something to the effect of "winning breeds success", and your immediate thought is that you'd like to win, but not THAT way specifically, with the turnovers and the seemingly flat play at various points.
All of it is academic on Sunday morning, of course - we did win, we are 3-0 and we get to face Rutgers this coming Saturday to start our journey through conference play. For now, however, we will talk about how we felt last night.
The rise in fucks given from UNLV to Bowling Green was rather impressive, to say the least, even if it was at our relatively deflated non-conference levels. Only 25 fucks were given in the UNLV thread, and last night, this blossomed to 104 fucks given. I probably don't need to review the primary driver - turnovers, generally annoying play on offense, etc..., but then the point is that we are an observant lot and we noticed.
We more than doubled the number of shits given - 19 during UNLV to 47 in last night's thread, and again, for the same reasons. One thing about "shit" through this year's non-conference games - it is showing signs of a comeback after a few seasons of fading usage around here. When I first started collecting this data, there were numerous times where "fuck" and "shit" would almost match each other, but since about 2018, it has faded. Last year, through the non-conference schedule, we only averaged 21 instances per game across those three games (I know, average of three numbers - very telling), but this year, it's 30 instances. Well done.
There were 163 mentions of JJ in the thread last night as well, and again, you should all know why that is - he was being very not JJ, and it was rather concerning, but as I kept telling myself (and I am sure some of you did as well), now is the time to have this sort of game because we're about to play teams that would be able to eat those mistakes for lunch and that is the thing I would, of course, rather not happen. I don't mind looking flat against Bowling Green but winning if the payoff is that this is corrected, say, at noon this coming Saturday. I am fine with that.
We also experienced 39 instances of "fire" - a few people wanted Moore gone, hopefully in jest, but this time, most of it was the positive sort of "fire", or rather, the wish that someone would light a fire under a few asses. I mean, that message worked here and there, right? It's just a matter of keeping the blaze alight, right? The problem is that FieldTurf isn't something that should be alight at all.
Mentions of Harbaugh have been depressed because, of course, he hasn't been allowed on the field because of cheeseburgers and such. However, the tone of last night's mentions was that he is needed. Most of the 20 mentions spoke to his unifying influence on team messaging, and I agree, it will be nice to see him on the sidelines again.
Overall, we had 552 instances of tracked words across 1,531 posts, which made for an overall efficiency of 2.77. That tracks historically with comfortable victories, and in a way, this one was in the end, but it wasn't exceedingly comfortable.
Anyway, on to Rutgers. Well, not really - they are coming here. Also, as usual, charts return with the fourth game because there should be enough to make a reasonably interesting graphical representation of all this now. Maybe.
September 17th, 2023 at 10:38 AM ^
Somebody was padding the "fuck" stats, fyi. Lol.
I have confidence we'll handle Rutgers. Team was probably not doing any reps to prep for BGSU. I'm cool with them sleepwalking on one game.
September 17th, 2023 at 10:40 AM ^
I know, and generally I reward those people with all of one "fuck".
Not literally, of course. That would be TOO generous for this lot.
September 17th, 2023 at 10:51 AM ^
LSA - can you clarify? If someone posts a “fuck fuck fuck this mother fucking offense” does that count as 1, 3 or 4 fucks given? thanks!
September 17th, 2023 at 11:03 AM ^
I actually manually comb these cases - clear padding, like "fuck fuck fuck...." and so on about 100 or more times gets counted as one. Something more organic like that will be fully counted. Ultimately, it's a judgment call.
September 17th, 2023 at 11:05 AM ^
When do we get cyans and shields?
September 17th, 2023 at 11:44 AM ^
What if the Angry Video Game Nerd was a Michigan fan?
September 18th, 2023 at 8:45 AM ^
"This frigging team played like shite."
How would you count that? Obviously, you know the meaning that was intended.
September 18th, 2023 at 1:45 AM ^
A/S/L?
September 17th, 2023 at 10:52 AM ^
I apologize to the Board: I was only partially able to be near my phone, so I couldn’t post Iowa’s score enough: 41 points. Iowa scored 41 yesterday.
That would have been worth a few tracked words. This week’s edition of Iowatch! is gonna be fun!
September 17th, 2023 at 12:09 PM ^
Hold the fuck up.
I know that teams sometimes play bad especially when they can get away with it, but we got *outscored by forking IOWA*?
September 17th, 2023 at 12:11 PM ^
Iowa didn’t turn the ball over 4 fucking times.
Also, just a bit of context, Iowa’s longest scoring drive was 66 yards. Their special teams and #1 defense put in some WORK
September 17th, 2023 at 5:58 PM ^
They also kept their starters in til the end and ran it up instead of taking a knee.
September 17th, 2023 at 9:30 PM ^
It’s almost as if their offensive coordinator’s job depended on scoring a certain number of points. . . . . .
September 17th, 2023 at 10:57 AM ^
The shorter SOOOTs: Anything goes wrong, at any time, the board degenerates into a puddle of soaked and knotted knickers. Last night was a reminder that the game threads are not for me.
September 17th, 2023 at 11:07 AM ^
Strangely enough, except for the odd snark and informational post, I don't go to them either except to do this. I figure that, if I am going to contribute to the toxicity around here, I need to do it more grand and all-encompassing ways, as in my actual life.
September 17th, 2023 at 11:48 AM ^
I'll post in the threads about other games, but not Michigan's. My sanity requires I avoid those as much as possible.
September 17th, 2023 at 12:46 PM ^
Last night was like being in a game thread in real life at the stadium, with a guy next to me and a guy behind me both yelling every time a play offense or defense didnt go well.
September 17th, 2023 at 11:02 AM ^
If I would have texted all of my verbal fucks, that number would have been truly impressive! And Fuck ohio state
September 17th, 2023 at 11:08 AM ^
How do you count it when I say "fuck, shit, fire" or Fuck yeah! This shit is fire!" and similar? Also, can we start tracking the word poopy? Im really trying to make it become a thing. I'm gonna start a campaign because I think it would be hilarious to see everyone commenting "that play was poopy!"
September 17th, 2023 at 11:14 AM ^
💩
Does this count?
September 17th, 2023 at 11:47 AM ^
If I had to choose between sharing a hot tub with the RCMB crowd and wading into one of our open game threads I think I'd choose a wood chipper.
September 17th, 2023 at 1:01 PM ^
Open game threads are just a bunch of kids with low attention span. I also stay away from it and don't even bother reading it after the fact.
September 17th, 2023 at 1:08 PM ^
Wow. You're so mature.
September 18th, 2023 at 8:59 AM ^
I went back and read last year's OSU thread. Long, but absolutely glorious!
September 17th, 2023 at 1:53 PM ^
Head or feet first?
September 17th, 2023 at 12:59 PM ^
At least we're not Georgia. At least we're not FSU. At least we're not Bama. At least we're not Tennessee. At least we're not Kansas State. Those teams barely won or outright lost. And complain about our offense all you want, but our 'starting defense has been absolutely solid and the highlight of this team.
September 17th, 2023 at 5:21 PM ^
And thats with 3 safeties colliding into 3 cornerbacks at the same time and all of them being out. Someone is going to have to explain how 6 guys in a secondary get injured?
September 17th, 2023 at 5:14 PM ^
I'm curious if any other fanbase has this sort of sophisticated postgame analysis. Let's face it. We're amazing.