OT: Suggest Crazy Names for Michigan Coaching Positions (a la Stanford)
Hello folks,
Stanford now calls their OC the "Andrew Luck Director of Offense." So I thought it would be fun to do the same for Michigan. Feel free to name every coaching position (from the head coach down to the kid who cuts videotape for the staff).
+1s generally handed out to creative/crazy names.
Lamar Woodley Minister of Doom
Fred Jackson is the new Mike Hart but shiftier, Chris Perry but tougher, and Sam McGuffie but hurdlier Running Backs coach.
In honor of our esteemed Fred Jackson, this can become the Chief Hyperbolist, funded by a grant from the American Association Of Poets and with the support of Alumni / Alumnae Like You.
Junior admirals are usually called rear admirals, right? The "Zoltan Mesko Rear Admiral of Space (And Special Teams)" has a nice ring to it.
This might be the first time I have ever laughed out loud reading a comment on MGoBlog. Phenomenal.
The Tony Gibson Scout Team Coor....nope, can't even do that.
Greg "Gerg" Robinson Purveyor of Self-Immolation
Rich Rodriguez Additional Graduate Assistant Coordinator and Chief Compliance Officer
The Shane Morris Recruiting Coordinator
Mike Martin strength coach
The David Cone Bad-Ass Rapmaster Big House DJ
The Lloyd Brady Director of Awesomeness.
Since there's not an official fan position, I figure this title would be awarded to the Drum Major of the MMB every year considering they lead the biggest fans at the games Saturday.
For DC, Schembechler- Hoke-Mattison-Woodson-Woodley, otherwise known as Sham Wow.
There should be newly named awards too, like the Poops Excellence award or the Singing Muppets MVP.
The Woody Hayes Head Coach of Boxing.
The Terrelle Pryor Head of Campus Transportation and Tattoos
The Justin Boren Director of 'Family Values' and Winter Road Services
The Tate Forcier Rehabilitation Specialist.
For the win? +5 is not enough... If I for some reason get any mgopoints on this thread, consider them yours.
"The 3-3-5, Presented by Greg Robinson, in Conjunction with FacePalm Guy"
-Herm
The Ryan VanBergen purveyor of Sampsonesque locks and animalistic D-lineman and hair-care products concierge.
or possibly:
The Taylor Lewan "I'm man enough to kick your ass and still ride a twosie" O-line coordinator.
or just maybe:
The Dave Molk "I don't give a flyin-f&$% what you milktoast eatin' b#*$ches think cuz we're gonna kick yer sissyboy a%%#^ all over this motherf(&#^*&g field. P.S. I love my team, my coach and my QB" O-line coach.
MILKSTEAK
Tony Pape Team Dietician
Denard Robinson Director of Footwear
Dhani Jones Director of Fashion/Style
The Mike Barwis You Better Start Running or the Wolves Will Get Ya Strength and Conditioning Coordinator
Someone with photoshop skills, PLEASE make this happen:
The Hoke-Gibbons Brunnette Team Motivational Psychologist.
The Section 1= BKs Finest=The Partyroom=The_Ignorance crazy-ass special teams outside gunner Coach
Neg-Ho!
EDIT: Forgot my fav:
The Mark Smith Unfrozen Caveman Linebacker Recruiting Coach
Mike Martin Director of Getting into Vans
You couldn't have made that sound any more Jerry Sandusky-ish if you had tried.
Consider this small change: GET IN THE CAR IT'S MIKE MARTIN Director of Intimidation
The Jordan Kovacs Harbinger of Grit.
COACH= SHOELACE.RB'S COACH=THOMASPERRYHART.FB'S COACH=ASKEW.WR'S COACH=CARTERHOWARDEDWARDS.OL COACH=LONGLEWAN.DL COACH=HALLWOODLEYGRAHAMMARTIN.LB'S COACH=HARRISRYAN.DB'S COACH=WOODSONJACKSONHALLWARREN.ST'S COACH MESKOGIBBIONS.GO BLUE!!!
WTFAREYOUSAYING?
ihavenoidea32.exe
used the players last name. So for example,RB'S COACH=ANTHONY THOMAS,CHRIS PERRY,MIKE HART NOW DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
Why not make some loot off the deal? Cha-Ching!
The Al Borges Hair Club For Men Defensive Coordinator.
"I'm not just the D Coordinator, I'm also a member."