OT: Playing out one of Brian's favorite basketball hypotheticals

Submitted by Chuck Norris on January 7th, 2023 at 1:31 AM

Brian's favorite "way to improve basketball" is Coaches can only call timeout by cutting off one of their digits and handing it to the referee.

So, let's say some dumbass gives Brian a magic lamp and he wishes for that rule to be enforced, at least at the college level. This raises two interesting questions:

1. Who's the first coach to actually utilize this out of desperation in the final minute of a game? And does his team win the game?

2. Who's the first coach to attempt to get around the rule by voluntarily cutting off a finger ahead of time and replacing it with a removeable prosthetic?

What do y'all think? In the spirit of free discourse I will wait to say my own, obviously correct answers.

XM - Mt 1822

January 7th, 2023 at 11:42 AM ^

originally in ancient elvish those markings said something about 9 rings and one to bind them all.

however, recent reinterpretation by excellent elf scholars reveals that it actually says:

beat ohio!  beat state! 

to be a michigan wolverine

is great! 

outsidethebox

January 7th, 2023 at 8:41 AM ^

I do not know who it IS but I do know who it isn't-it's not Juwan. And that is a good thing.

I took a "History and Philosophy of Sports" class in college where the professor suggested that strong consideration should be given to not allowing any coaches to interact with the team while the game is being played. There are good points to be made on both sides of such a discussion. He, himself, was a pretty good baseball coach-and was very low-key. 

Hotel Putingrad

January 7th, 2023 at 9:39 AM ^

Hockey has the right idea. One timeout. Both football and basketball would be infinitely better with the same rule.

Similarly, baseball should only allow one mound visit per game.

Grampy

January 7th, 2023 at 10:02 AM ^

There are other means which don't involve your own fingers.  Consider this conversation overheard between a coach and a Booster, whom we'll call Walter for the sake of discussion:

Coach: I can't believe I have to cut off a digit to get a timeout now.  I wonder if a toe would work...

Walter: You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.

Coach: Yeah, but Walter...

Walter:  Hell, I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock this afternoon... with or without nail polish.