March Madness & Vasectomy - I may owe someone an apology...
Last week, I was talking to a woman who has three kids (all boys). When I asked if they were going to try for a boy, she said that her husband was getting a vasectomy next Wednesday (as in the day before March Madness).
I then told her that there are more vasectomies scheduled in that week than any other. She looked at me with a blank stare and asked why.... So, I said, "It's the opening weekend of March Madness... you get to lay on the couch for 4 days and watch basketball"
She stearnly told me, with no hersitation, "My husband isn't into sports."
My responsse..."Well, he obviously is. And I just ruined this poor guy's master plan."
She laughed, but in a "I'm going to f'ing kill him" sort of way.
So, if you are married to a 35 year old, attractive Emergency Room Doctor, who is ruining your "down time" as you try to watch BBall with a bag of frozen peas on your crotch... I'm Sorry
So, who has their own Vasectomy and March Madness story... let's hear them
March 21st, 2014 at 10:30 AM ^
she sounds like a real ball-buster. way to pick 'em, husband guy
March 21st, 2014 at 11:13 AM ^
http://www.oregonurology.com/news-and-publication-detail.cfm?id=4CA1942…
March 21st, 2014 at 11:21 AM ^
March 21st, 2014 at 11:42 AM ^
I'm not sold on this whole vasectomy thing. I'm coming up on my 5 year anniversary. If there is a better form of birth control than being married for 5 years, I've never heard of it...
March 21st, 2014 at 12:01 PM ^
Better than 5? Try 25. It's not going to get better.
March 21st, 2014 at 10:30 AM ^
I had mine the day before the US Open (Golf) in June a couple years ago. I live in Virginia, so we are prone to summer thunderstorms. That Wednesday night, 8 hours after I had the procedure done, a storm rolled through and knocked out our power for the next 2 days.
So instead of watching golf, I got to sit in 100 degree heat with no A/C and had to pull-start a generator several times.
March 21st, 2014 at 10:50 AM ^
I'm sorry but I loled
Was that with the derecho back in 2012 that knocked out everyone's power? I believe that was right around the time of the U.S. Open (they both were in June, if I remember correctly). I live in Lynchburg, and while we had power, everyone else was out for at least a week. Being out for just 2 days from that storm would have actually been pretty lucky.
March 21st, 2014 at 10:35 AM ^
Things I never expected/wanted to hear about on mgoblog.
March 21st, 2014 at 10:38 AM ^
You will when you are over 35 with too many kids....
March 21st, 2014 at 10:43 AM ^
March 21st, 2014 at 11:59 AM ^
March 21st, 2014 at 10:45 AM ^
I don't know. This guy's comment could be borne of 3 possible human reactions:
- Desire for quick/cheap laugh;
- (Likely in conjunction with [1]) Naivete, lack of experience/relation;
- Experience and disinclination to revisit.
If it is (3), then UMfan21 can prove himself by contributing his own story to this fine thread. If not, then I suppose we've diagnosed the real, less compelling motivation here.
March 21st, 2014 at 10:55 AM ^
I agree.
If put to a vote, I imagine the "Let's not hear your vasectomy stories" would win out.
March 21st, 2014 at 10:40 AM ^
If it makes you feel any better, original poster, I don't think your male confession will make a vas deferens to that dude's weekend plans.
March 21st, 2014 at 10:46 AM ^
Thursday morning, 1999 ... there are some things a man never forgets
March 21st, 2014 at 11:04 AM ^
At least you got to party like it was 1999!... am I right?
March 21st, 2014 at 10:45 AM ^
March 21st, 2014 at 11:02 AM ^
March 21st, 2014 at 11:46 AM ^
I pushed 3 eight pound babies out of my vagina (not all at once) with no drugs.
re: Vasectomy scheduling: my hubby had his Wednesday of Masters week, so you could do that as well. I brought him pizza and beer in bed while he immersed himself in golf.
March 21st, 2014 at 12:02 PM ^
March 21st, 2014 at 10:46 AM ^
I know it's not a vasectomy, but OSU lost their balls yesterday.
March 21st, 2014 at 10:46 AM ^
See, when I underwent this particular procedure in late June several years ago, I really didn't even think of the possibility of postponing it until March Madness of the following year (that would have been 2009 in my case). This is a brilliant plan (and it would be paid time off from a bank that is not vacation), in my estimation, and my wife, while not into sports either, at least tolerates my obsessions. Damnit.
Because after two kids (a girl and boy) my wife made it plainly clear that unless I wanted to "get better acquainted with myself", I had better get a vasectomy in short order.
I complied.
March 21st, 2014 at 10:49 AM ^
Sounds like she will get her pound of flesh.
March 21st, 2014 at 11:00 AM ^
March 21st, 2014 at 11:07 AM ^
March 21st, 2014 at 11:41 AM ^
If you watched the Michigan - Penn State Hockey BTT game, you've had perfect practice for what it feels like.
You're good to go now.
March 21st, 2014 at 11:12 AM ^
March 21st, 2014 at 11:34 AM ^
... my third was due right in the middle of March Madness, but he arrived a month early.
Dagnabbit!
March 21st, 2014 at 11:49 AM ^
My wife went into labor into labor on the day the Sweet 16 began in '05. I'll never forget the matchup, Louisville vs Washington. I remember it like it was yesterday, rocking and feeding him while watching that game and thinking "Wow, I'm a dad now!"
My daughter was born just as Michigan's dismantling of #2 ND was beginning in '06. Good timing both times.
March 21st, 2014 at 11:12 AM ^
I don't have kids, but likely will have one next year. After that, I will seriously think about a vasectomy. I don't want any kids in the first place, but it's either have one or lose everything. I will not agree to more than one child and that's the bottom line.
March 21st, 2014 at 11:15 AM ^
March 21st, 2014 at 11:41 AM ^
That is a tough spot to be in. I hope it works out well for you.
March 21st, 2014 at 11:43 AM ^
You should probably not do that and instead find somebody who thinks like you do.
March 21st, 2014 at 11:17 AM ^
not the same, but in same general area, and i did get four days of hoops.
March 21st, 2014 at 11:25 AM ^
I didn't even think about MM when I scheduled it last month.
What a Happy Bonus! Percocet+ non-stop MBB!
Downside, I have a frozen bag of peas on my junk.
March 21st, 2014 at 11:32 AM ^
Although I did plan for NCAA's...I got mine done the Friday morning of Tourney....great little weekend except, too much percocet and beer will make you look like a zombie by Sunday night...
March 21st, 2014 at 11:49 AM ^
Your picture makes much more sense now. Keanu Reeves on percocet and beer.
March 21st, 2014 at 11:24 AM ^
This may be your guy. Less reason to feel bad.
http://michiganstate.247sports.com/Board/93/I-am-two-hours-away-from-ge…
March 21st, 2014 at 11:25 AM ^
My story: I have a friend who has a beautiful 2 year old boy, third child, well after his vasectomy. Point of the story is that this surgery is not foolproof. Read up in Wikipedia or Google it for more info.
March 21st, 2014 at 11:32 AM ^
My vasectomy doctor told me that the insurance settlement rate for a failed procedure was $300,000 (i.e. - the cost of raising a child to age 18, projected out to the 2020's).
Of course, this settlement offer is only good after the baby's DNA matches yours..........
Don't want any of those ambitious little swimmers out in the wild.
March 21st, 2014 at 11:40 AM ^
but different. Coming of age has lots of complications. I haven't had a vasectomy yet, nor this procedure yet, but this write up is hilarious...
http://www.miamiherald.com/2009/02/11/427603/dave-barry-a-journey-into-my-colon.html
March 21st, 2014 at 11:58 AM ^
When I was in middle school, a (girl) classmate of mine showed me a joke (back when such things were passed around on paper instead of social media). It had a girl and a boy trying to "one-up" each other. Finally, the boy dropped his pants and said "I've got one of these and you don't."
To which, the girl lifted her skirt to expose her equipment and said: "I've one of THESE, which means I can get as many of THOSE as I want!"