For just a second thought I mistakenly hit the Rivals link

Submitted by Wolfman on

That board melts anytime the temp gets above 32. It's disgusting. It's rather amazing at the number of fans that forgot when RR took over he inherited 21 defensive players out of a total of about 70 and those he inherited on offense included a grand total of one returning starter and an entire OL that for some reason had no experience whatsoever.
 

Actually enjoyed Speilman's questions because they were legit. But the answers to the defensive woes are many.  Why did we have only 21 defensive players when RR take over with 15 scholarships unfilled?  And it was a given he was going to concentrate on offense first. I heard so many damn cliches during his first year with "He's remodeling the whole house when all that was needed was a bathroom restoration," and similar metaphors being bandied about as if they had any fucking merit. He came here to get rid of a stale odor, even if it involved a few sludge spills along the way.
 

If you people who keep suggesting he hasn't recruited defensively, remember please losing two DTs in his first year via decommitments, same thing w/dbs and the fact that the glorious play you are seeing from our two sr. lbers are remnants from a bygone era that was dying before your very eyes.

Because we can only recruit 25 in any given year, he couldn't even fill the entire roster until his second full class. Among those were 16 defenders. I can't imagine him going any other route than  getting his skill players on offense in his first year. Afterall, everyone was fully aware, especially Martin that RR didn't coach the pro formation.

In his third year he is overseeing one of the 3 top offenses in the country  with the most prolific qb in cfb running the show in his first full year as a 19 year old starter.  Because Demens and Fitz are taking over in the later part of the season, next year we'll return 9-10 returning starters on both sides of the ball.  BTW, he has a commitment from the no. 1 RB in the country and was able to RS the top rated spread qb in the nation from last season's hs bounty.

I'm as frustrated as any other UM fan in the country over our defensive woes, but I have no doubt that we'll see huge improvement from this season. I can't imagine any team, and I don't care what  conference you play in, depending on so many freshmen to stop top-notch offenses. It simply doesn't work. But freshmen become sophs and sophs become juniors and on and on and on. If I were witnessing a team that was giving up I'd be worried. This team, despite what happens fights to the end. That's the important thing because M will soon be "the experienced team" once again and the young talent we're watching grow up is equal to or better than any in this conference.  

If Speilman(a buckeye) can see it and declare, "this team will grow old together and be something special," and Griese chipping in with his declaration of DRob's improvement in the passing aspect of his game and say too that he'll just continue to get better and better, why the hell do so many opt to take the negative from what is good here and what will more than likely become something truly special?

Fans on this board asking questions like, "Is he throwing his players under the bus again," make me want to toss. He is an honest man. He says what he believes but he has never stated anything but the truth when addressing the media, and that included taking blame for coaching short comings.

This board is better than that. That's the reason I went from a yearly subscription at Rivals to monthly and then eventually getting tossed because I made a decision to back this team and one can simply not do that without supporting the head coach. RR didn't go from one of the top 5 coaches in the country to a football idiot just by changing his address.  He's the same guy that so many of today's bright young coaches opted to travel and learn from his seminars and then copy a true innovator. He'll make it happen and when it arrives, he'll do it on an annual basis.  He's planted the seeds and this program will return to the top.

Those that continue with the "We are Michigan. What the fuck good is 7 wins?, etc., simply choose, either by ignorance, or a belief in Rosenberg's espousals the name Michigan automatically equals 8 wins forgot just what the hell he inherited here, and what became even worse after all the defections. He started from scratch my brothers.  It's my guess these people believe TX, for some inexplicable reason,suddenly fielded a team of two stars and their coaching staff grew dumb during the off-season.

Like I said, this site is better than that. Let the cry babies and those subject to mood swings move on over to the wolverine.com. I guarantee you won't be lonely there.

Plegerize

November 20th, 2010 at 4:34 PM ^

Honestly I've found that at this point, no matter what RR does, he will always have haters in this program. We have a fan base that will NEVER be satisfied and it is something that we must live with.

CompleteLunacy

November 20th, 2010 at 5:02 PM ^

Every program goes through lulls. Florida wasn't good forever. Neither was USC. They're struggling again. Texas might miss a bowl game this year too...they're fans are reacting similarly to ours, but their situation might be worse than ours. Alabama wasn't all that great before Saban got there and turned it around. OSU might be the only one who hasn't had a lull in awhile...but even then, they aren't exactly winning MNCs every year. 

Michigan before 2008 had no reason to expect anything less than 8-10 wins in a given year, and when they only won 7 it was UNACCEPTABLE. You can thank Bo and his line of coaches for that. But that had to end at some point, it couldn't last forever. Expectations had to adjust when RR was hired, what with the bare cupboard left and the new system he brought with him,  and yet the fans didn't get the memo. Because they just don't know better, and they're used to the way things were.

It's hard to tell fans to be patient, especially to those who won't listen. But it's what is needed with this program right now. Before the year I said "bowl game or bust" for RR. Well, he got there. Next year the expectations will be higher. But that's next year. It hurts me to say it, but this team is still way too young and inexperienced to hang with the big dogs right now. But that will change with experience (and a new DC/defensive staff).

That being said, Michigan still has one more game left. Can you imagine what a win over OSUwill do for this program? BEAT THE BUCKEYES!!! It's always a possibility until it isn't...

Wolfman

November 20th, 2010 at 5:37 PM ^

Your answer actually helps make my point. They all are established programs with year after year of good recruiting by the same coach, and in USC's case, a coach that will run the  same system. If after we're balanced, relative to class rank, we suck three years in a row, I'll buy into what you're selling. I doubt very much though that scenario will play out.

As a wolverine fan, you know we've never had a three year run of bad, than mediocre records with solid upperclassmen leaders.  It probably won't happen here and it won't  happen at those schools either.

If you consider Fl's situation, you'll find it's quite unique among cfb programs. Like the other Fl schools, they are in the "Johnny come lately" crowd, all making their marks in the 70s, with no real consecutive major success until then. However, Spurrier was just as unique in his offensive philosophy as is RR. He simply believed in spreading the field with receivers, thinking pass all the time. His success is history.  Then Urban, who runs an offense much more similar to RR's takes over and keeps the beat going. However, and I ask this because I'm not certain, what was Zook's record? I only ask because I assume it must have been on the down side or he would have kept his job.

M-Wolverine

November 20th, 2010 at 6:10 PM ^

Like other programs are having now. You didn't use Oklahoma after Switzer or anything...you used 3 programs struggling this YEAR. But they're not having a lull, they're having one bad year. We're on year 3. So they're really not comparable. Unless they continue to "lull" for 2+ more years.

Wolfman

November 20th, 2010 at 8:47 PM ^

Total of 22 players with rankings as follows: Superprep: 2, Lemming: 4, and Rivals had us at 6. Of those 22,  which would have been RR's Jr. class and RS sophs his first yr here, 7 actually became starters, and four reserves. The other 11 were early departures, 3 due to injuries, but the other 8 just disappearing, among them a cb and two DTs.  Yes, it was an anomaly to lose 50% of an entire class, and even worse, a class rated so highly.

This is not to cast blame, as it appears you want to do, by not acknowledging that some mighty weird shit has taken place within our program which has led to a state of rebuilding, instead of reloading. Yeah, you'll counter, but what's the big deal of losing half a class and only 1/3 seeing more than spot duty.   It's the Michigan thing again. Doesn't matter what the facts are, when you're coaching here you'll win 10 games a year on name alone.

M-Wolverine

November 20th, 2010 at 9:12 PM ^

Because it's completely different than what's on the board.  The example made was that 3 program that are generally good that are having a down YEAR this year illustrates why we're on mediocre year 3.  It didn't work. It still doesn't work.  And it has nothing to do with your over-analysis of long gone recruiting classes. (Unless you planned on doing the same for Florida, USC, and Texas for 2005...at least that'd be consistent....but WHY?).

So the only one casting blame is you.  Though how or why, I don't know...because it's not even the conversation we were having.

BlueTimesTwo

November 20th, 2010 at 7:04 PM ^

Yeah, and Meyer built on the quality recruiting job that Zook had done.  It is pretty much universally acknowledged that our recruiting/retention had fallen way off before RR arrived.  Your comparison doesn't hold water.

M-Wolverine

November 20th, 2010 at 9:16 PM ^

It wasn't my comparison.  Two other people used them as comparisons. I tried to refute it, twice. I said Zook was closer to ours than either USC, Florida, or Texas currently is...but I was also saying that comparing Zook means you think the coach should be fired after 3 years, which is the opposite point of what everyone is making. Which makes it bad also.  (Though the "built on" part means Meyers took what he had, added even better parts, and succeeded with them.)

sarto1g

November 20th, 2010 at 7:27 PM ^

Agreed in full.  Remember pre-2008 when people thought a bad season would probably end up with 7 wins?  (FWIW I remember Lee Corso predicting before the Utah game that UM could have a shot to surprise a lot of people.)  It's hard to adjust expectations after being good for so long.  Even after we won 2 in a row, people had expectations about our team coming into these last two games.  7 wins is very nice for where we're at as a program, but any more than that is a luxury.

3rdGenerationBlue

November 20th, 2010 at 6:32 PM ^

Rich Rodgriguez and the Michigan program have to continually explain the problems (injuries, lack of experience, talent deficit on defense). This provides significant fodder on the recruiting trail for rival coaches. The fact is it isn't going away until Michigan beats good teams. While we all hope that will happen next year we should be realistic that the defense has a long way to go. I don't look forward to the potential of seeing yet another defensive coordinator as many have suggested. Having a revolving door on the staff undermines RR's credibility as an effective head coach and will continue the speculation about his job security. I look forward to hearing what Dave Brandon says at the end of the season - whether it is a strong vote of support for RR or a decision to go in a different direction - I trust his judgement.

jmblue

November 21st, 2010 at 2:04 AM ^

Honestly I've found that at this point, no matter what RR does, he will always have haters in this program. We have a fan base that will NEVER be satisfied and it is something that we must live with.

Are we talking about the same coach who needs to pull a major upset next week to record his first .500 Big Ten season?  I'm far from a "hater."  I like him.  I'm just not sure I believe in him as the right guy to run the program.    

M-Wolverine

November 20th, 2010 at 4:44 PM ^

 

No Name Pos Ht Wt DOB Yr City, State (High School)
26 Zion Babb WR 6-1 189 12/10/1988 SO Alhambra, CA (Alhambra HS)
92 Greg Banks DE 6-4 258 12/16/1987 SO* Denver, CO (Montbello HS)
56 Ricky Barnum OL 6-2 265 06/25/1989 FR Lakeland, FL (Lake Gibson Senior HS)
23 Carlos Brown RB 6-0 213 04/28/1988 JR Franklin, GA (Heard County HS)
3 Steve Brown S 6-0 209 07/17/1987 JR Columbus, IN (Columbus East HS)
85 Carson Butler TE 6-5 250 08/21/1987 JR* Detroit, MI (Renaissance HS)
38 Artis Chambers S 6-0 202   SO Fort Wayne, IN (R Nelson Snider HS)
33 Boubacar Cissoko CB 5-9 175 06/06/1990 FR Detroit, MI (Cass Technical HS)
17 Toney Clemons WR 6-3 201 10/11/1988 SO New Kensington, PA (Valley SHS)
12 David Cone QB 6-7 214 12/13/1987 SO* Statesboro, GA (Statesboro HS)
15 Mike Cox RB 6-0 206 11/14/1989 FR Avon, CT (Old Farms)
88 Andre Criswell DE 6-2 264 03/21/1986 JR* Detroit, MI (Renaissance HS)
25 Kenny Demens LB 6-1 226 02/04/1990 FR Beverly Hills, MI (Detroit Country Day School)
79 Perry Dorrestein OL 6-7 308 09/11/1987 SO* Plainfield, IL (Plainfield HS)
35 Doug Dutch CB 5-11 204 02/15/1986 SR* Washington, DC (Gonzaga College HS)
33 Marell Evans LB 6-3 231 01/09/1989 SO Richmond, VA (Varina HS)
45 Obi Ezeh LB 6-2 247 02/02/1988 SO* Grand Rapids, MI (Catholic Central HS)
5 Justin Feagin QB 6-0 190   FR  
94 John Ferrara OL 6-4 274 01/07/1988 SO* Staten Island, NY (Msgr Farrell HS)
42 J.B. Fitzgerald LB 6-3 230 11/13/1989 FR Princeton Junction, NJ (W.W.P.H.S.-South Campus)
12 J.T. Floyd CB 6-0 190 12/08/1989 FR Greenville, SC (J L Mann HS)
24 Kevin Grady Jr. RB 5-9 228 06/24/1986 JR* East Grand Rapids, MI (East Grand Rapids HS)
55 Brandon Graham DE 6-2 270 04/03/1988 JR Detroit, MI (Crockett Vocational Tech)
27 Brandon Harrison S 5-9 206 11/06/1986 SR Dayton, OH (Chaminade Julienne HS)
32 Vince Helmuth FB 6-1 261   SO Saline, MI (Saline HS)
21 J.R. Hemingway WR 6-1 214 12/27/1988 SO Conway, SC (Conway HS)
58 Brandon Herron LB 6-2 218 08/02/1988 FR* Sugar Land, TX (Dulles HS)
34 Avery Horn RB 5-10 185 02/25/1989 FR* Hanford, CA (Hanford HS)
72 Mark Huyge OL 6-6 292 10/18/1988 FR* Grand Rapids, MI (Catholic Central HS)
90 Tim Jamison DE 6-3 265 02/26/1986 SR* Harvey, IL (Thornton Township HS)
97 Will Johnson DE 6-5 285 11/10/1985 SR* Lake Orion, MI (Lake Orion Community HS)
93 Jason Kates DT 6-2 339 06/14/1988 SO* Harrisburg, PA (Bishop McDevitt HS)
63 Rocko Khoury OL 6-5 280 01/13/1990 FR Traverse City, MI (Traverse City West Senior H.)
86 Kevin Koger TE 6-4 220 12/12/1989 FR Toledo, OH (Whitmer HS)
46 Brandon Logan LB 6-1 208 02/17/1987 SR Lexington, KY (Lexington Catholic HS)
68 Mike Martin DT 6-2 285 09/01/1990 FR Redford, MI (Catholic Central HS)
83 Mike Massey TE 6-5 225 06/16/1985 SR* Cleveland, OH (St. Ignatius HS)
13 Greg Mathews WR 6-3 207 01/28/1988 JR Orlando, FL (Edgewater HS)
62 Tim McAvoy OL 6-6 288 06/15/1987 JR* Bloomington, IL (Bloomington HS)
2 Sam McGuffie RB 5-11 185   FR Cypress, TX (Cy-Fair HS)
57 Elliott Mealer OL 6-6 280 06/30/1989 FR Wauseon, OH (Wauseon HS)
41 Zoltan Mesko P 6-5 235 03/16/1986 JR* Twinsburg, OH (Twinsburg HS)
4 Brandon Minor RB 6-1 214 07/24/1988 JR Richmond, VA (Varina HS)
50 Dave Molk OL 6-2 282 12/15/1988 FR* Lemont, IL (Lemont Twp HS)
88 Brandon Moore TE 6-6 221 03/29/1990 FR Trotwood, OH (Trotwood-Madison HS)
60 David Moosman OL 6-5 292 09/02/1986 JR* Libertyville, IL (Libertyville HS)
8 Jonas Mouton LB 6-2 230 03/17/1988 SO* Los Angeles, CA (Venice Senior HS)
9 Martavious Odoms WR 5-9 171 01/21/1989 FR Pahokee, FL (Pahokee HS)
65 Patrick Omameh OL 6-4 260 12/29/1989 FR Columbus, OH (St. Francis DeSales HS)
78 Dan O'Neill OL 6-7 295   FR Grand Haven, MI (Grand Haven HS)
71 Mark Ortmann OL 6-7 294 06/24/1986 JR* Klein, TX (Klein HS)
54 Austin Panter LB 6-3 231   SR Kensington, KS (Kensington HS)
99 Adam Patterson DE 6-3 259 12/09/1987 JR Columbia, SC (Richland Northeast HS)
7 Terrence Robinson WR 5-9 170 05/19/1990 FR Spring, TX (Klein Oak HS)
30 James Rogers WR 6-1 180 05/27/1989 SO Madison Heights, MI (Lamphere HS)
16 Roy Roundtree WR 6-0 154 03/07/1989 FR Trotwood, OH (Trotwood-Madison HS)
95 Renaldo Sagesse DT 6-4 308 12/23/1986 SO Montréal, QC (Cegep Du Vieux)
82 Laterryal Savoy WR 6-3 210 04/26/1986 JR* Mamou, LA (Mamou HS)
52 Steve Schilling OL 6-5 295 07/21/1988 SO* Bellevue, WA (Bellevue HS)
20 Michael Shaw WR 6-0 185 11/24/1989 FR Trotwood, OH (Trotwood-Madison HS)
8 Nick Sheridan QB 6-1 212 05/21/1988 JR* Saline, MI (Saline HS)
28 Brandon Smith S 6-3 210   FR New Brunswick, NJ (New Brunswick HS)
5 Charles Stewart S 6-2 206 03/11/1986 SR* Farmington Hills, MI (Harrison HS)
22 Daryl Stonum WR 6-2 190 02/14/1990 FR Sugar Land, TX (Dulles HS)
67 Terrance Taylor DT 6-0 319 05/14/1986 SR Muskegon, MI (Muskegon HS)
49 Johnny Thompson LB 6-1 239 02/10/1986 SR* Detroit, MI (Crockett Vocational Tech)
10 Steven Threet QB 6-6 230   FR* Adrian, MI (Adrian HS)
14 Morgan Trent CB 6-1 188 11/14/1985 SR* Orchard Lake, MI (St. Mary Preparatory School)
53 Ryan Van Bergen DE 6-6 265 03/18/1989 FR* Whitehall, MI (Whitehall Senior HS)
6 Donovan Warren CB 6-0 180 01/31/1989 SO Long Beach, CA (Polytechnic HS)
81 Steve Watson Jr. TE 6-4 242 05/05/1988 FR* Denver, CO (Mullen HS)
80 Martell Webb TE 6-4 249 11/10/1989 SO Pontiac, MI (Northern HS)
64 Kurt Wermers OL 6-5 260   FR Crown Point, IN (Crown Point HS)
40 Michael Williams S 5-11 185 07/16/1988 FR* Ventura, CA (St. Bonaventure HS)
29 Troy Woolfolk CB 6-0 195 07/24/1989 SO Sugar Land, TX (Dulles HS)
43 Bryan Wright K 6-1 219   SO* Salem, OH (Salem HS)
75 Cory Zirbel OL 6-5 292 02/07/1987 JR* Murray, KY (Murray HS)
No Name Pos Ht Wt DOB Yr City, State (High School)

M-Wolverine

November 20th, 2010 at 6:07 PM ^

The freshman class (which does it belong to, Lloyd or Rich? It seems to change depending on the argument...but since most of the add on's were on offense...), you're only count 3/4 of a team's total class breakdown, which makes the OP's point of "only" even more stupid?

Farnn

November 20th, 2010 at 6:12 PM ^

More than 3/4s since most players stick around for 5 years. (If you have any upper class depth to allow for redshirts) And 21 (or 24) out of 61 (3/4s of 85) is still a low number of bodies to have on defense. Add in the fact that RR had a totally different offensive system that required a good deal of offensive recruiting, and it was a recipe for disaster from the start.

csam1490

November 20th, 2010 at 4:47 PM ^

I disagree with one part - I didn't read the whole thing. To say that the Carr regime was dying before our eyes is wrong. Yeah, I was as frustrated with the team as most people, but I looked up how many back-to-back games Carr lost as head coach. The answer is a very small number. The two five-game losing streaks for RR in 2008 and 2009 put him close to Carr's entire tenure in terms of back-to-back games lost. To be further confusing: I am in favor of keeping RR. You can't bail when your team is consistently improving from year-to-year.

JBE

November 20th, 2010 at 4:53 PM ^

Let the cry babies and those subject to mood swings move on over to the wolverine.com. I guarantee you won't be lonely there.

The same thing at the game.  One group of "fans" flipped off Kovacs and said that he sucked, chanted Harbaugh a million times, mocked the kickers as they practiced at halftime, used all the normal derogatory terms for the coach, then, which is the best part, cheered excessively when Michigan came out and played well in the second half.  After the loss was certain, they complained about every little fucking thing.  It's unfortunate. 

mtzlblk

November 23rd, 2010 at 6:10 PM ^

Michigan 'fans' these days, the more I believe that a lot of them are spoiled, fair-weather types that care about nothing beyond a number of W's.

I'm tired of even arguing with them anymore.

To me it is just this simple, do you support Michigan football only if and because it wins? Then you are just a hanger on and not a fan.

If you are a fan because of the character of the players, the tradition, the effort, the dedication, the everything else that makes Michigan be Michigan, then stick around a bit and the w's will come.

If all you care about is winning, then too bad for you...in more than just college football.

I would support Michigan if they don't win another game for 2 or however many years, if the players are graduating and getting an education, if they play with heart, it they never give up, if they dedicate themselves, if there isn't an undue tolerance toward discipline and the team represent the University proudly. I will be there, no matter what, unlike some who ned X number of Ws or they fold.

Brown and Blue

November 20th, 2010 at 5:01 PM ^

 

This is a good post.  It's true, we're a feast or famine crowd.  And a pretty hysterical feast or famine crowd.

We're young on offense and we're pretty good on offense already.  We're young on defense, and we're pretty bad on defense right now.  We'll get better even if only with age and experience, but we'll also get better because we'll get more and more able bodies in there over time, as we get more recruiting classes in.  Would I like to see a new DC?  Yeah, I have to admit, I would.  I think it would have made some difference this year if we had a stud DC, but not much.

I also think we don't need a top 10 defense.  We need a top 60 defense  

I generally think Brandon should say definitively, right now, that RRod is coming back.  I think it will help recruiting.  It couldn't hurt recruiting, that's for sure.  

We're 8-4.  Whether that's where we thought we would be or not, that's not awful.  Or, to put it another way, if 8-4 is our awful year, I'll take it, because I think we have a shot at some better years.  I hate playing the what if game, and we got crushed today, but if we made the FG in the first half, we were one stop away from having the ball with a chance to tie the game.

So, instead of moaning, which I'm sure the team and its coaches is not doing, what they really need to do is figure out a way to make a FG and get a stop. 

Brown and Blue

November 20th, 2010 at 5:13 PM ^

Also, I really loved Carr, don't get me wrong, and it doesn't look like there were 21 defensive players on the roster, but I counted 28.  That's not all that great either, is it?  And 9 of them are freshmen.

I'm not a big fan of bashing Carr or Rodriguez -- they are both Michigan coaches, and I don't really get the point.  But it does seem like our senior defensive class is missing.  

TennBlue

November 20th, 2010 at 5:41 PM ^

On that roster I counted 32 defensive players out of 77, or 41.5%.  Of that 32, 10 were seniors who would graduate after the 2008 season.  There were only 4 juniors.

The sophomores of that group (this year's seniors):

  • Greg Banks, DE
  • Artis Chambers,S
  • Marell Evans, LB
  • Obi Ezeh, LB
  • Jason Kates, DT
  • Jonas Mouton, LB
  • Renaldo Sagesse, DT
  • Donovan Warren, CB
  • Troy Woolfolk, CB
  • (James Rogers is listed as a WR)

Not a lot of on-field productivity out of that bunch.

Wolfman

November 20th, 2010 at 6:01 PM ^

He actually did Bill a favor by staying on a year longer than he wanted. What I meant was when he wanted out, he, and I imagine it's not unique, didn't finish with the zeal he'd shown in his previous years. Perhaps it was all the 5th yr seniors opting not to play, the transfers, attrition, probably a little bit of both.

I'm  not trying to cast blame because I, like you, like all four UM coachs I've watched since I became a fan. My point was, no matter what the circumstances that caused it to be real, RR was faced with a situation no UM coach had faced since probably Bump.  And looking back at Bump, by time he was done, he handed Bo a team that had gone 8-2 the previous year and stacked with the greatest numbers of future AAs ever assembled in a 5 yr period in UM history. That in itself speaks highly of Bump also.

Perhaps I'm wrong, but I choose to back whoever the AD hires to coach at UM and it doesn't matter which sport. If they turn out to be less than what we had hoped for, I'm not going to start bitching and moaning. That's just my belief. I'll back them until they no longer are UM coaches. Afterall, isn't that what fans are supposed to do?

antonio_sass

November 20th, 2010 at 6:29 PM ^

Alright, well this was in response to the "Would you stay with a shitty girlfriend, just because you had been with her for 3 years" thread, which of course was deleted while I was writing this. I thought it would be a shame to not give people the proper opportunity to neg me.

My old girlfriend was great -- she really was. She was steady, always there for me, the sex was really good. Shit, one year with her was the best fucking year I've ever had in a relationship. We spent new year's day in SoCal that year, and it was magical (our subsequent trips to SoCal were often very shitty). All in all, I was very happy. But we were together for a long time, and towards the end it started to get stale. I was growing, and she wasn't growing with me. And the sex...it was so...predictable. We'd  be lying in bed, and she'd just kind of shift to the left, and then I knew exactly what was coming: handjob. So, after a very long and fruitful relationship, I decided that it was time to part ways (she liked to say that it was mutual).

It wasn't easy at first to find a new girlfriend. I was naturally attracted to girls that were like my ex, but for some reason I kept getting turned down. Then, I found her. Sure, she was a little blue-collar and rough around the edges -- but god damn, she was into some freaky, exciting shit. Her lady parts were magical, and her specialty was a move called "the spread" -- which is something I'd never ever experienced. Unfortunately, my family and friends weren't so quick to embrace my new girlfriend. They thought I should be with someone more my speed -- but I think they were just afraid of change. My ex girlfriend even stopped by to punch my new girlfriend right in the face. That left quite the bruise.

Well, almost immediately after becoming my girlfriend, she started to get really fat. I mean really grotesquely fat and disgusting -- and she still had that bruise on her face. I can't really blame it all on her though -- I think it was a combination of a lot of unfortunate things that were out of her control which led to this newfound obesity. Sure, in hindsight she could have done some things better to keep the pounds off as well. And I've changed too -- I have dreads now, which I think really freaks out my parents. I always saw the potential in her, and as a nice bonus, she turned out to be a really good person.

So, I stuck with her -- and the first 2 years were crappy. Really, really crappy. But this year she started going on a diet, and while she certainly still has some pounds to lose, I'm starting to see the girl I fell in love with again. At this pace, by next year, she's going to be one of the hottest girls in the neighborhood. And in 2 years -- maybe the hottest girl in the country. I'm fucking serious. And through it all, she'll always be into that freaky, nasty, exciting shit, if you know what i mean. ;)

Side note: There's this other pretty hot girl who most of my family loves, and might be into me -- but I think she wants to go to the NFL.

also, TL;DR.