Of the seven words, there's only like two left you can't say on TV.
And they are working on those.
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Happy Father's Day weekend. Enjoy your new ties.
Drop the mic, go home, and never bowl again.
I feel that you like to post gifs just for shits and giggles, which is fine, of course.
I been hypnotized
Nothing better than Friday and a 99% chance of getting the digital version of HTTV!!
Hail to the Victors!
Let's Go Blue!
up to the mountains for more beer, BBQ and climbing. Happy Father's Day weekend to all the dads out there.
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We're meeting with a commercial realtor after work (so the wife will be in a good mood) and then the kids will be gone for the night.
Tomorrow will suck 14 different flavors of sweaty man ass. We're spending the day with her family.
Also happy Father's Day to those of you crafty enough to trick a woman into having unprotected sex with you.
Since you've expressed something beyond disdain for you mother-in-law, maybe you get a touch of Ebola tomorrow and spend the day at home? Or are they invading your turf - in which case, maybe ye olde work emergency?
I'm blessed with in-laws who are mostly lovely people, and they still wear on my nerves after a day or two. It's their ability to move at glacial speeds, yet be everywhere that gets me the most. (Put another way, I'm a jackass.)
For all of that, how do they do that? It's like the opposite of the Heisenberg uncertainty principle: I'm 100% certain of where they are (i.e., in my way) and know exactly how quickly they're moving (i.e., like winter molasses).
I've already had Ebola twice this year. Maybe Zika?
My wife's sister is in town (with her husband and my nephew) so my presence is pretty much mandatory at this particular shindig. My only play in this situation is to become Hero Uncle Hatter. I'm going to take the kids to the movies, to play mini-golf, out to eat, and whatever else I can think of to keep us out of the house.
says Hatter will go see Finding Dory. Enjoy!
Make sure wifey pays the price tonight if you can't avoid tomorrow!
My wife's mom was awesome - we would have gotten along fantastically if she hadn't died shortly before we were married. Her dad is an aloof doofus that wants nothing to do with his grandson. Or daughter, for that matter. She is not like him or her brother, who are both top flight nerds into finance and Star Wars. Which are both okay in their own right, but man are those two cultishly wierd! She has all but given up hope for ever being part of thier lives, other than the obligatory family connection. We long-ago gave up hope for a grandfather to the kid (my dad lived 600 miles away, and died last year).
Enjoy Father's Day weekend with EUTM! Mine started off great - storm damage to trees made me decide to work from home. Laptop locked me out and won't let me reset the password. Sounds like a day off, to me!!
She won't be able to sit, stand, or walk properly on Saturday.
This Friday is the first Friday of the kids' summer vacation, so it is the first Friday of that mass of uncertainty which is "How do you keep them from destroying the house?"
The answer to that is, of course, to put them in all sorts of activities and those begin next week, because my wife and I didn't think a summer of getting REALLY good at Minecraft was a complete summer. I know, we suck.
Supposedly, there is some sort of Father's Day thing going on tomorrow and I was invited because I happened to be a dad. Hopefully, they don't take me to lunch at a place where there is nothing friendly to the diet that they've still got me on because that's when I just have salad and water and it gets boring.
Sunday, I'll probably have to just give my own father a call - they are at the cabin at the moment. As my father gets deeper into Parkinson's, if you will, it is increasingly more difficult for them to get up to the place, so my parents are soaking it in while it is feasible.
You can try my wife's solution: Put your kids in a multi-thousand dollar sleep-away summer camp that you can't afford.
It's amazing how many problems you can make go away by just throwing a bunch of money at them.
Except if you don't actually have that money. Then you've created a bigger problem.
Oops.
#FINANCEFORDUMMIES
and realize that the kids are eating better than you are.
Indeed.
I want to be reincarnated as my own children.
My son threw a high holy fit over doing his kumon two days ago, so I was really pissed at first when I thought it was so he could go and get really good at Minecraft. Then I found out it was because he wanted to continue writing his story, which consisted of him and his "gang" going to hunt mammoths in Antarctica, which is awesome, so I was still pissed about the fit, but proud at the same time. It's a weird feeling.
Happy Anniversary, Cranky Dad!!
like my dog loves the Ice Cream truck on Sat. She can hear that truck even if its a mile away and I am serious. She'll start that tail a-waggin lookin at me like, can you hear it? Then she'll have that look like humans are stupid. At first I had no idea what was up but I soon figured it out. You know with reptition, I was trained to know here comrs the ice cream. lol
Happy Father's Day to all the dads on the board, and have a good weekend to all.
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I'll be up there in a couple weeks, wish the beerfest was over the 4th...