College Move-In/Empty Nesting Open Thread

At risk of hijacking the thread, my wife and I had the most extreme empty nest experience I am aware of. In 2017, my oldest completed a degree in political science at LSU and started Law school at Mercer that fall. My two middle children (son and step-daughter) both graduated high school and began college (at another university) that fall. My youngest child died at the age of 8 from complications of epidermolysis bullosa that summer. After 22 years with a child under the age of 10 in the house, hands on parenting came to an abrupt end for us.

Since then, my oldest has gone on to practice law in Atlanta. My step-daughter's international business program was interrupted by covid (she was unable to complete a required study abroad until this summer) and, rather than rent an apartment for half a year, she has moved back home while she completes her last class online this fall. My son has taken a break from his studies and is waiting tables at Seva. He is the big guy with the red hair. Say hello from dad if you should go to enjoy a meal there.

Well, we just started our first step of a long journey toward empty nest.  My wife and I (both '97 UM Grads) moved our eldest son into his dorm at Illinois for his freshman year.  Unfortunately Michigan decided his application wasn't quite good enough for the college of engineering (despite being better than both of ours were back in the 90s) so he's now a member of the Illini Marching Band instead of carrying on our legacies with the MMB.  

This first move was hard for all of us as he wasn't quite ready to become a responsible adult and move away from home and we weren't quite ready to see him off.  But we still have a 15-year old and 11-year old at home so we have a long way to go before true empty nesting.  

My son leaves to study abroad in Germany on September 11. Due to my wife passing in May, I will be in a a totally empty nest. I'm super happy for my son, (and it's his 3rd year anyway) but it will be a bit quiet around the house.

The old phrase "big kids, big kid problems" does ring true to a degree, but we are ready to reclaim full control over our daily schedule...and are looking forward to being able to travel a bit more and come and go as we please.

lmao good luck. My kids moved out 6 and 3 years ago, respectively. One in in Salt Lake City, one in Kalamazoo, and I am in Cleveland. I still spend 2-3 weekends a month in Michigan. I have less free time now than when they were in high school. But I guess parenting happens until you die. My mom still “parents” me and I’m in my 40s

It seems that you’re only an empty nester until they move back home after graduation. 

The joy of the empty nest comes down the road a few years when they come home and you realize what a fine job you did at raising them.

Daughter was home for two weeks earlier this month to help take care of mom, and now son is here for this week to do the same. Both continue to work full time while here, so they are not using up their hard-earned vacation time, but I get a bit of a break. Not going backpacking for a week like I did in May the last time my son was here, but I do get to go spend an entire day this week with my elderly parents giving them a respite from each other just as my kids do for me.

My twin boys both graduated high school this spring and I've got one moving into his Central Michigan dorm and the other moving into an apartment with a few good friends.  Both move-in days are tomorrow which make logistics a bit stressful.  We are thrilled for them and their futures but a bit sad as this will be the first time they've really spent an amount of time apart, much less not under my roof.  It truly is bittersweet.  

The best parenting advice I ever received came from my father, who said, "Enjoy every stage."

My sons are 29 and 26 and although my favorite stage was when they were (a) old enough for fun activities but (b) also still young enough that they needed their parents, I'm enjoying the current one as well.

Parenting is the best part of life.

Being empty nesters is also fun, though.

Not related to kids, but I've been thinking about this since the dorm thread last week. What I wouldn't give to go back in time 17 years and be starting at Michigan again...

1989 UM GRAD, congratulations to your daughter for scoring a North Quad room. From younger relatives I have the understanding that a central campus dorm set-up isn't a given for first-year students these days.

Out of curiosity (and for possible future reference), what's the deadline for choosing a roommate (rather than just rolling with random assignment)?

Elsewhere 1989 UM Grad has pointed out how many of his family has attended Michigan. So these wonderful thoughts about kids & family & empty nest go deep.

From my vantage point, UM Grad's family has helped keep the University in business. 

Starting 7th grade next week - so no move in.  Got some time left with this one.

Must be different for parents with multiple kids. I found my life much more fulfilling when my child arrived and I am really dreading the day when she moves out for good.

Youngest started high school today. Oldest ships up to Boston next week.

I'm ready for both these next adventures.

When my daughter, and youngest child, moved into her freshman year dorm at UM (Class of 2014), she couldn't wait to get rid of us and do her own thing.  It had been like that for weeks leading up to that day.  Her dorm room had a lofted bed which threw her off when we moved in, but seemed to be OK with things when we left.  Later that evening around bed time, we got a tear filled panic call from her that she was freaked out by the bed.  Fear of falling out.  We told her to drag the mattress onto the floor and try again tomorrow.  So, our empty nester bliss was delayed by a few days of stress, but it was all good by then.

First child - state directional school.  Huge bins on wheels - two trips and done.

Second child - Ivy.  Daughter wasn't even back from a multi-day orientation trip when we arrived with all her stuff and boom - the student welcoming group moved all her stuff into her room.

Third child, second son 1st year move-in to a service academy was unique.  You basically bring nothing but the clothes on your back and your cell phone, which is immediately taken away and stored.  By the end of the day son was loaded down with uniforms and technology.  Take the oath, 15 minutes with parents and family to say goodbye and then they march-in to a huge dormitory, not to be seen again by family for 5 weeks.  You get three 10 minute phone calls in the meantime for which their cell phones are returned to them.  You know what to expect but still a rude awakening.  Great roomies - lived with them all 4 years which is unusual.

"Interestingly, there are multiple longitudinal studies that indicate that overall life satisfaction decreases when people have their first child...and then increases when the youngest moves out of the house.  Parenting is certainly a joyful and rewarding experience, but it is also stressful and a lot of work."

Probably the most popular of which is the "U-curve" of happiness. 

Is happiness U-shaped everywhere? Age and subjective well-being in 145 countries | SpringerLink

Which I find personally pretty interesting and reaffirmed slightly by my own experiences in life.  I'm 42 now and kids are 10 and 6.  While I'm super glad they're out of a lot of their phases, they enter new ones that can be challenging, but if different ways depending on the age.  I'm sure that when they're heading out of the house I'll be struck with the same feelings you are - a bittersweet feeling, certainly.

Congrats on getting not one, but two kids into Michigan.  While of course most of the credit goes to your kids, you and the wife obviously did a good job guiding them along the way.  Cheers.

It's transition time! Our oldest graduated from Luther College in NE IA last spring and just started her new job at the Univ. of Iowa today. The older of our two sons started his sophomore year at Indiana today in Bloomington, and our younger son starts his junior year of high school tomorrow. He and I are headed to Ann Arbor for the Connecticut game in a few weeks and will then host my U-M college roomies as well as my parents here in Iowa City for the Michigan game on October 1st.

As if that's not plenty enough, my last day of work is one week from this Friday. Hard to imagine after 30 years but I have lots of hobbies and interests and, as others have said, the best part of this phase of life is being a dad. Being self-employed has given me immense freedom and flexibility but soon I'll be even more present and available for young adult milestones.

Not to mention that I want to travel and start knocking big things off my bucket list before climate change and/or political chaos severely limit my ability to do so.

Kids objectively make people less happy on a day to day basis. You are playing a long term game with kids providing overall joy and fulfillment.

Congrats on getting two kids to college

My oldest is starting his senior year at Arkansas and my youngest is starting his senior year of high school.  He will also be going to the U of A.  It's only me and the youngest at home, so I'll be empty empty nesting in a year.  I've been telling them for years, that once college is done and they've moved onto their chosen professions, that Papi is gonna be rich.  Ghetto rich, but still rich

Two kids recently graduated: one from Michigan, one from CalTech. I had tears when the last tuition checks were paid, lol.

Most of your parenting "work" was done years ago, and this is the time for them to grow and figure things out for themselves - and they will come to you as young adults when they need help. Most likely they will be just fine and you can deepen relationships with your spouse, other family, good friends with this new found extra time and energy - and definitely travel.

We dropped our daughter at school in D.C. on Saturday after a two-day drive from Tallahassee. We all had a crazy banging and screaming cry on the way there--after she asked if we were going to call her sometimes--and my wife and I cried off and on most of the way back. We did an absurd amount of crying, and then when we got home and peered into her bedroom, we started all over again. She's our only child, adopted, and went through great turmoil as she came of age--keeping faith with us throughout. My life has revolved around her for 18 years, and now I am beginning again. 

I am so happy for her.  

My wife and I are the parents of “boy / girl” twins, who we dropped off at their respective dorms in Ann Arbor about a year ago. Our daughter was in Markley (my freshman dorm), and my son was in Bursley.  It was “hot and humid”.  The move-in and additional things they needed  / wanted for their rooms made it a busy couple of days - looking for rugs and more things than we could count.

They’re rising Sophomores - and we moved them into their “digs for the year” this past weekend - just returned home an hour ago,

We’ve always been a “let’s do as much stuff together as we can” family, as they’re our only children.  So, we went from a “full-house” to empty nesters overnight.  

We visited them often last year - in the Fall, football games brought us back - hosting tailgates - getting together with old friends - and, meeting our children’s “network” of friends - from their dorms or classes.  During the winter, it might have been a basketball game, concert, play - or just to take them out for dinner one evening, and breakfast the next day.  We loved it.  

Time passes so quickly - enjoy every minute you have with your children.  As a parent and alum, it’s great to see them continue to grow - and take advantage of all the university has to offer.

Go Blue…
 

I took my younger boy (18) to CSU Monterrey Bay this weekend. I can think of worse places to spend 4 years. The older (21) is in the army and may get out in December or might reenlist, he isn’t sure yet. So I am an empty nester for at least the next 3ish months. Bittersweet to be sure, I miss having my boys under my roof. However, 21 years is a long damn time, I am pretty excited to see what I can get up to. 

I'm onto the sweet reward state, grandparenthood.  My oldest grandson just started his second year of preschool.  It's really wonderful to experience it all again, this time knowing how fast it all goes and without most of the day to day pressures, AND with the perspective of what was the BIG stuff and what wasn't.

Our empty nest years have entailed making many more home football games, more time at our lake house and a pandemic... that last one was supposed to be travel.  Maybe now!