The Twilight Zone: Michael Rosenberg

Submitted by Enjoy Life on
Rosenberg is sitting at his desk staring at the front page of the Detroit Free Press. His bloodshot eyes are sunk deep into his lifeless face. He obviously hasn’t slept much in weeks. Tears are streaming down his cheeks.

We flash back to August 29, 2009. Rosenberg has a smug, sinister smile. He has finally done it. His article; “Michigan Program Broke Rules, Players Say” will surely end forever this thing that he hates most. We see the clips of the Rodriguez press conference and the pundits bashing Rich. Ahhhh, sweet satisfaction!

Then it starts going badly for Rosenberg. First, MGoBlog (and other bloggers) start to point out the holes in the story. Then, more and more sportscasters and writers start calling the article a “witch hunt” and a disgusting piece of writing.

Very shortly, the official investigation ends. The conclusion, “We have found no evidence that the University of Michigan violated any NCAA rules concerning allowable football related hours” was unequivocal.

Michigan finished 2009 better than many had expected and has continued to improve.

We return to present day.

“How could this happen?” Rosenberg agonizes. It’s bad enough that Rich Rodriguez is still the coach at Michigan. But, now this!?” What haunts Rosenberg most is that now it is universally agreed that his article in the Freep did what no one thought was possible. It brought the entire Michigan community (players, coaches, students, alumni, fans, faculty, and even the athletic department) to be “All In For Michigan”. That article, his article had become the critical catalyst in the success of the team.

Rosenberg knows he was the primary reason that the thing he hated most, the thing he tried to end in flames did not just survive but prospered beyond all expectations. All this in less than 4 short years.

Rosenberg takes a small key from his pocket and opens the bottom drawer of his desk. For a long time he just stares at the dark object it holds. Finally, he reaches down ……..

So, what was the headline and how does it end? I’ve written my ending (which I will post tomorrow) but I would like to hear how everyone else would end the episode.

EDIT (around 3:44 PM): As those who have answered figured out, everyone was supposed to come up with unusual endings. If anyone remembers the Twilight Zone, nothing was ever what it appeared to be.

EDIT; The Ending

Finally he reaches down, closes and locks the drawer, and returns the key to his pocket.

We flash forward about 8 months. It is a glorious fall day. Rosenberg is pushing around a shopping cart collecting bottles and cans to pay for his next bottle of cheap wine. He is in a parking lot filled with thousands of cars. All around him people are laughing, eating, drinking, and having the time of their lives.

In the background is the most beautiful football stadium on the planet. There is a huge banner hanging from the top of the stadium which replicates the front page headline: "Michigan (13-0) National Champions"

Comments

mdngoblue

September 2nd, 2009 at 11:07 AM ^

Knowing Rosenberg only as the self-promoting, chest bumping fool that he appears to be given the circumstances, he'd probably take the gun (or other dark object, whatever your imagination fancies) and shoot Snyder for doing a bad job from a grunt work perspective. The guy seems to be (and again I've never met him, so I only know based on what it appears he's tried to do) so wrapped up in himself and in such denial that he could very easily say that someone else is the problem and not himself.

ColsBlue

September 2nd, 2009 at 11:37 AM ^

Yeah, really too far - the guy has a wife and kids. Sort of starts "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" and ends "Shawshank Redemption"? Bad writer, bad intent, bad article, but let's stay far away from death wishes...

Enjoy Life

September 2nd, 2009 at 1:00 PM ^

This is obviously fiction. It is not true. Last time I checked Hawthorne and Stokes are 18 years old. Apparently Mr. Rosenberg had absolutely no qualms about potentially ruining their lives by deliberately putting their quotes in the story and deliberately using them out of context. And, that is real. PS, my ending is completely non violent.

ColsBlue

September 2nd, 2009 at 1:18 PM ^

I do understand this is fiction and do not think that you have access to Mike Rosenberg's thoughts and intentions. Just sounded a lot like the end of Warden Norton... So, go ahead and finish the story. My vote is for the "object" to be a thick Lloyd Carr scrapbook which he tearfully thumbs through before resigning himself to the success of a new regime. Maybe some sad piano music too.

The King of Belch

September 2nd, 2009 at 12:34 PM ^

Because I can see it coming true. Rosenberg set out, 19 long months ago, to undercut this hire--and now he crosses the line and people in his own profession (even if some of them are former athletes) are choosing his head to place their soapbox on. But I say you keep writing this, and like Pulp Fiction, the drawer only shines when he opens it and the contents are never revealed. Personally I believe, though, that the dark object is Rosenberg's soul.

Hemlock Philosopher

September 2nd, 2009 at 1:56 PM ^

He pulls out his flask full of Dewar's and heads to the tailgate! Go BLUE! Also, I just got some tix to the ND game, section 30, row 18. Hopefully I'll have my MGoShirt by then. PS: Anybody got links to game previews? Scouting reports on WMU?

Alkaline

September 2nd, 2009 at 3:04 PM ^

and he finds this: Code of Ethics for American Society of Newspaper Editors ASNE Statement of Principles ASNE's Statement of Principles was originally adopted in 1922 as the "Canons of Journalism." The document was revised and renamed "Statement of Principles" in 1975. Preamble The First Amendment, protecting freedom of expression from abridgment by any law, guarantees to the people through their press a constitutional right, and thereby places on newspaper people a particular responsibility. Thus journalism demands of its practitioners not only industry and knowledge but also the pursuit of a standard of integrity proportionate to the journalist's singular obligation. To this end the American Society of Newspaper Editors sets forth this Statement of Principles as a standard encouraging the highest ethical and professional performance. Article I - Responsibility. The primary purpose of gathering and distributing news and opinion is to serve the general welfare by informing the people and enabling them to make judgments on the issues of the time. Newspapermen and women who abuse the power of their professional role for selfish motives or unworthy purposes are faithless to that public trust. The American press was made free not just to inform or just to serve as a forum for debate but also to bring an independent scrutiny to bear on the forces of power in the society, including the conduct of official power at all levels of government. **********

tomhagan

September 2nd, 2009 at 3:26 PM ^

he reaches down and grabs the familiar black 8" dildo from the desk drawer... "at least I can try to have some fun" he mutters to himself as he drops his pants...

Ernis

September 2nd, 2009 at 4:10 PM ^

I like the premise of the story -- that this negative press will have a self-deleterious effect on Rosenberg's hopeless agenda. As for those who seem to assume the "dark object" was a weapon of some sort... that says a lot about you and what's at the front of your mind.

Toledo Tornado

September 2nd, 2009 at 4:20 PM ^

Any students of U of M, or alumni, or just anybody, must either know about what happened to Mussolini and his wife near the end of World War II... or you must study up... Anyways Mussolini and CO. (wife), were hung up by their heels and executed, because the Italian people were more than pissed at Mussolini... I abhore violence and do not condone such activity but, if a gang formed (complete with the torches and pitch forks as previouly mentioned...( like an old Frankestein, dracula movie): and hunted down Drew Sharp, and Mikey Rosenburg and hung them by their heels > I would not approve of such an activity but I would have a bigger smile than the cheshire cat in the Alice and wonderland movie...

OldBlue74

September 2nd, 2009 at 7:42 PM ^

It's a file folder with two letters. The first letter is his layoff notice from the Freep. He knew this was coming, the precipitous decline in paid circulation and internet hits that occurred after the Freep was forced to print a retraction to his story made his layoff inevitable. The second letter was his acceptance of his new job as Sports Information Intern for Michigan State.

Swayze Howell Sheen

September 2nd, 2009 at 9:55 PM ^

it is a set of keys to a shiny new car, given to him by RichRod. Underneath, a letter from Rich, saying "We need something to bring us together. Something that pits us against the world. I know you can do it Rosenburg. And if you do, the Lexus is yours." (queue music)

Mountaineers Fanatic

September 3rd, 2009 at 12:22 PM ^

I'm sure he will come up with more BS about the program and try again and again to take down Michigan and RR. Bad thing for him is that every time he comes up with BS like this and is proven wrong, his credability coninues to weaken after every article