Solving Our Problems with Aggression
There are two main truths to this post. The first is that sports are a big deal with our family and assumedly yours since you are reading a sports blog even though there's basically no Michigan sports happening. Also, most all of you played some manner of sports and/or your kids did or do. Our house is like that, too.
The second major theme is that many of us are still fond of remembering the old Don Brown bromide about 'Solving our problems with aggression'. Football generally is a sport that aggression is paramount. Same for hockey, boxing/kickboxing/MMA and you might even make a case for basketball from time to time. Which brings us to the farmer's problem: how do you solve the problem of raccoons?
Some may think of raccoons as cute and cuddly, but that's not true when they are sneaking around at night killing chickens. Our chickens. Meat birds, meaning birds specifically grown so that they are going to be organic monsters, like small thanksgiving turkeys. They taste great. They are outstandingly good nutrition. They help pay the bills. And raccoons like them as much as we do, and because we raise our birds 'on grass', the raccoons have access to them.
You solve the raccoon problem with aggression. Raccoons attack at night and trapping them is difficult. I don't feel like using the type of traps that work - they are on the cruel side of things. And we are losing birds every night for the first time in years. Time to use aggression.
That aggression is like a scene out of caddy shack. One of the boys is armed with a .22 rifle, sitting in the bushes. We light the area up with a string of extension cords a mile long (slight hyperbole), plugged into some of my contractor lights. Around midnight the wiley raccoons come calling. The defense holds. The chickens are saved. The problem is solved with aggression.
But as we know, not all problems are solved with aggression. We all have a faint memory of a game, somewhere, sometime in the past, against ohio, where the aggression model didn't work. That same dynamic is true on the farm. And like ohio the problem I refer to on the farm stinks, they're ugly, and nobody like them.
Which brings me naturally to skunks. Yes, skunks. Skunks show up at the farm from time to time and they are not welcome visitors. You have driven over and around skunks on the road, gotten their guts on your tires and it stunk your garage up. Your dog probably got into one or more of them and had to be bathed in tomato juice and kept outside for a couple of days. But a skunk up close and personal, walking around in your tack room a few feet from you, is not a great sight. They are scavengers and can get into feed, take eggs, and of course they stink. A lot. They are generally afraid of you. They aren't fast, don't have big teeth or claws, but the smell. Yeesh. And unlike a possum, or a raccoon you cannot solve your skunk problem with aggression. You rush that little guy and you'll end up smelling like your bird dog did years ago when she got into her first skunk. No bueno. If you shoot him he'll die. But then 95% of the time he expels his 'perfume'. And the barn or the environs will stink for weeks.
So how do you solve your skunk problem when aggression is not an option? Answer: a trap. A nice, cage style, trap. With a long rope tied to it so when you get one you can simply pull the rope and trap to a desired place and not worry about being on the wrong end of a Pepe-Le-Pew weapon of mass destruction. So we set the trap, put some cat food into it, and we leave it in the barn at night. The next morning, bingo - we have a winner. Skunk is in the cage. Skunk can't point it's shooter at you. The cage is dragged out of the barn by the long cord meant to keep us safe and non-stinky. And just like that, you just beat the skunks, 45-23.
Incidentally, Donovan Edwards just scored again.
Have a great weekend
XM
I'm not going to mention who did or does this because it's problematic and illegal, but a certain person I know had a raccoon problem. Some old timer at the farmer's elevator told him if you take a pie tin and mix some Golden Malrin fly bait and Coca Cola in said pie tin and leave it out the raccoons love the stuff, make it about ten feet away, suffer some sort of internal explosion and die. He's gotten skunks with it too.
I've seen the effects. I'd be worried about a neighborhood pussycat or dog though. I think it's solving a problem with passive aggression.
Edit: Here's an article about it and efforts to curb its misuse:
https://www.science.org/content/article/regulators-move-limit-wildlife-…
another farmer neighbor of mine provided that gold malrin solution. i'm just a little uncomfortable with poison. not saying never, but would prefer to try other methods. since at least one son is willing to do the deed, i'll let him pull the trigger.
It’s laying mines out for children to find analogously. Crazy irresponsible and pretty gross you’re willing to kill anything by lacerating the insides of their gut till they slowly bleed to death scared and in severe pain. If my dog got that, you’d be seeing the wrath of god. Good lord.
😅
This post did NOT go where I'd originally thought it would go with that lead in! We have all the same varmints but our lone issue is the rabbits eating some of our plants in a few flower beds. We spray the plants with some genuinely stinky conconctions to make the flowers no longer appetizing.
We have hawks, owls, peregrines, and bald eagles feasting on the rabbits. It's fascinating to watch their power dives, they're sleek predators! The rabbits seemingly make tasty snacks.
When we first moved into this place there was a family of foxes that we'd see. They must have moved on because we have brazen rabbits now.
Beagles. The solution to all rabbit problems.
This is Derby (pronounced Darby). She turned 1 on June 6th and this is her second rabbit kill.
kill the wabbit!!
Little monkeys should use caution around a good beagle like that.
Beagles are the greatest dogs, Sweet, even tempered, loyal…l melt whenever I see one.
Raccoons got into my winterized motor home and had a nest of kits in the console and chewed through the ignition wires and shit all over the place ( RV still has that nasty faint coon shit smell). fixed that expensive problem then the varmints built a nest in the chimney and had to smoke them out (not burn them), then the family decided to dig dirt and take up residence under the deck. Waited to the end of summer and put fences around the base of the deck after midnight and never saw them again. Raccoons are very smart.
Skunks aren't as smart, set a trap and throw in some donuts and problem solved. I hate trapping because both species can carry rabies so you want the least interaction as possible.
Bottom line is I go out of my way not to harm any animals they are just being animals, but If I had livestock being killed, all bets are off and the rifle comes out. I've had to do this when my ducks were being picked off one by one by an Owl.
*Disclaimer* despite the username I have never killed a deer in my life.
I was going to suggest tactical nuclear weapons, but your ideas work pretty good.
i like the thought, but that's a little too close to the house and farm. worried the radiation would grow some freak livestock.
I wouldn't do chicken in the microwave.
Chernobyl proved everything will be fine. It’s like a nature preserve. Wildlife will flourish…and glow.
Use a neutron bomb. The house and the rest of the buildings will be fine.
Now see there. Great insight as always from the board. How did I miss that...?
Take off, and nuke the site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure......
So simple. Why didn’t I think of that?!?!
I had a groundhog that decided late fall 2022 to make a burrow under the corner of my shop. Realized it when I saw the concrete floor of my shop sloping down in the corner this spring
groundhogs are notoriously difficult to get rid of. Thankfully, a red fox decided to kill and eat it … then make its burrow its den. Once trail cams confirmed it was most likely a young male (so no pups) I filled in the den opening. Foxes hate people and once it realized a human was near his den he moved on.
Then I had a company come out to pump concrete, then foam, to fill in the burrow and level the shop floor. I wish that lil dude was still around here as I still see groundhogs around the property almost daily. Just as long as they’re not under the shop or foundation of the house I don’t really care.
I saw one out on our lawn this week and the foundation thing is my fear. Unfortunately I live in the town limits and can't dispatch of him like I used to on the farm. Maybe my bow...
Custer proved Don Brown right in his approach…for awhile.
racoons...... my dear mother's bird feeders
fortuanely i have a semi retired brother who lives near her. I think a half dozen of the masked bandits were eliminated last year and another 4 to 6 so far this year.
they are smart, but they can't resist marshmellows in a dog proof leg hold trap. the other benefit to that bait and those traps, you are extremely unlikely to end up catching anything other than a coon.... althought the rare 'smart' 'possum has been known to stick a paw in where it shouldn't be.
Also, I can attest....those chickens are a scrumptious delicacy.... I would use every means available to defend them from bandits in the night.
My brother bought the farm I grew up on from our parents. My dad raised crops in addition to his regular job--it wasn't enough to raise a family. Anyway, my brother decided to raise chickens. I don't know what breed they were but apparently they were voracious eaters and grew rapidly.
Just after my brother had told me about them, my dad leaned over and whispered to me "toughest bird I've ever eaten."
duplicate
I financed a significant part of my youth with bounties.
Racoons are tough critters. One got locked inside my garage and the amount of damage it did trying to get out was amazing.
I used to get $5 a woodchuck. That was late 70s/early 80s money
You might want to look into these:
https://www.minntrapprod.com/Bridger-7-x-7-220-Bodygripper/productinfo/BR220-01/
That's known as a "Conibear" trap. It's named after its inventor. It's a kill trap.
You'll need this in addition:
https://www.minntrapprod.com/Standard-Bridger-Setters-Powder-Coated/productinfo/BGSETTER/
That provides the leverage to set the traps. Doing it without this tool would be difficult and dangerous.
For raccoons, you can design and build a "cubbie" -- a box in which the set trap is placed -- with some kind of bait on the backside, which will lure the raccoon through the trap, triggering it and killing the raccoon. The internet has a lot of information on how to set these things, how to build cubbies, etc. These traps are used quite a bit for fur trapping, as they kill the animal fairly quickly without harming the pelt.
I can personally attest to the effectiveness of these for groundhogs.
Two things of note:
- Regulations regarding the use of these traps vary by state and region. For example, in West Virginia, these are authorized for "below the water line" use only. But enforcement is not a priority ...
- These are indiscriminate ... they will snap on whatever triggers it -- raccoons, opossums, skunks, cats, dogs, or someone's hand going where it should not go. These are strong enough to break the bones in the wrist, so be careful.
Another option is a live trap, baited with marshmallows. Then you can "dispatch" the raccoon as you see fit.
100% can confirm that these are effective as my dad and I have both used them to eradicate woodchucks. I can also 100% confirm that possum go through holes back feet first; I had to put two of them out of their misery after going through this type of trap. I got tired of doing that, so I had to switch to an air rifle to get rid of the last woodchucks.
Update: we are down to one remaining raccoon. Could not get a clear shot at him @ 0430 hrs. today. Fortunately no more lost birds. Rocky raccoon’s days are numbered…..
Caught a glimpse of XM preparing for the critters:
I am torn between the invasion of privacy that you were able to sneak a photo of me, but also knowing how you were fired up when you heard me talk about fighting the varmint Kong.
Rocky raccoon’s days are numbered…..
He'll fall back in his room, only to find Gideon's Bible.
a quick google search said that racoons are naturally hunted by Mountain Lions. so just get a mountain lion. Problem solved, mate.
BTW people struggling with raccoons on their property:
You probably didn't need any further incentive to drive them away, but in case you did...
It turns out that Rocket Raccoon from the MCU GotGalaxy movies is canonically from Columbus, so make of that what you will.
Raccoons man.
The neighborhood I grew up in had raccoons (still does). Lots of them. If they or the rabbits got too populous, a fox would generally move into the area and that would be that. Or owls. Owls are fucking ruthless killers dude; dead silent and able to take a raccoon baby before it even has a chance to scream.
We kept the raccoons away from our trash with bleach and/or ammonia. And the strays in our area also did their part. There’s nothing quite like hearing a dog fight a raccoon outside your window at 2am. Only thing worse is hearing a CAT fight a raccoon - sounds like the world is ending.
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