The Results Are In!!! - Scientific Survey

Submitted by MeanJoe07 on

Hello Friends and Foes,

Finally the moment you've all been waiting for.  Here are the results and analysis of my super scientific and official survey that was taken by you all some 380 times.  However, since I currently have no currency and am also very cheap I decided to not upgrade my SurveyMonkey account to be able to view all 380 responses.  However, I can view 100 and believe this will provide a nice little snapshot of the results and enough info to disect and analyze. I'll be honest, if it was called SurveyKoala or even SurveyMarsupial I'd probably upgrade.  I hate almost all monkeys except for RGard so therefore I did not upgrade at this time.  This is a super scientific survey that I spent much time on so please take the results and my analysis as the absolute fact and truth that can not be argued or discussed.  No, not even by DiscussMan or whatever the hell his/her avatar is. Obviously you will discuss anyways, so go ahead and let me know what you think or tell me you hate me and my antics and my schtick.  What you should do is take your opinion and SCHTICK it up your tight ass. Also don't complain about my lack of paragraphs, just don't read it and post a funny "cool story bro" gif instead. Feel free to bitch about my spelling and grammar if that helps you feel happy that your better at writing than a Koala. (You're* Got you already!)  Okay.  Let's begin!

1.) Do you like me?

47% of you said "yes".  Thank you.  I like you too.  Some of the "Other, please specify" responses were very interesting.  A few of the responses included "get off my lawn" in Spanish and "eat 7 dicks".  Seven just happens to by my favorite number!  One person said I could lick their sack, but they didn't specify what it was a sack of. I think maybe apples or sweet potatoes from Trader Joe's.  One person asked if they could "finger my can".  I dont know what that means, but it sounds dangerous.  I've cut myself on can lids before. Others don't like my new Avatar and one person said he didn't kill his wife.  That's good! My favorite response was this rap that I'll paste below.

Man I really wanna like you but I really wanna fight you. At first you seemed real cool and I aint tryna fool. But then you full of yourself and started acting like a tool. Yo I love me some koalas like I love me gin and tonic and those yummy burgers at the Sonic. But I know deep down your doing this greater good. And you call yourself out like a hater would. Man you're great for the community. Making the most of opportunity but demanding your impunity like a leader should. Look at me I'm starting to ramble. And my rhymes going to shambles. So I'm out. Peace and love-your boy randle

Thanks Randle. That was very nice.  Let's brawl to the death sometime.

2.) Do you like Owen Wilson?

I'm telling you, you have to watch the video of him saying "wow" and you'll hate him and his lack of acting range. Most of you liked him (47%), but admited to being a psychopath.  That number of psychopaths running around is worrisome indeed.  One time I met him and he scratched my head and said "Oh wow, Is that like a Wombat?"  Wombat?!?!  I look nothing like a wombat.

3.) How many MGoPoints Should I have?

30% of you said I should have all the points, and the rest of you were wrong. I should get at least half of WD's points.  You know my Point Parties are better than anyone else's anyways and you're all invited, except for the Discuss guy.

4.)  I would like to see more if these surveys in the future.

This was an even split.  30% said  yes, but make it funnier.  I'll try, but I'm not very funny so don't get your hopes up. I'm more of a quantity rather than quality joke koala.  Another 30% said they were drunk which I thought was a surprisingly low percentage.  This blog has a lot of Owen Wilson loving psychopathic drunks. FACT

5.)  The muffin Question. 

This was my favorite and I was excited to see the results.  Here are the favorite muffins for each subject:

Harbaugh: 35% think that Harbaugh would say "Muffins are for fancy boys". 2nd was Meat flavored with 31%.

Dantonio: 51% said he would say "Eh muffin? Just feed me something bitter and stale and hard to swallow."   Very telling indeed! TWSS

Astronauts:  Most people said they would like Bran muffins.  I don't know why, but Okay seems like a good choice. Poppyseed was a distant second.  Astronauts like generic muffins. FACT.

6.) Do you want the Marsupial Monday Thread?

11% chose "Get off my lawn".  I'm probably gonna pee on your lawn.  40% said some version of YES.  Apparently there are 17 Mods and they said "Yes, we won't delete it".  3 said they would delete it.  So it looks like 17 out of 20 Mods support Marsupial Monday. IT's HAPPENING!  Thank you JustinGoBlue for suggesting it!  7 People just want me to stop it.  I won't stop it.  You stop it. 

Sincerely your's in Harbaugh,

MeanJoe07

P.S. Rhonda Rhonda Jones

 

EDIT: Here is the SURVEY if you want to take a look, but remember I can't see the results anymore unless I fork over some cash to the corrupt survey people.

Comments

MeanJoe07

August 20th, 2015 at 4:52 PM ^

I'm glad you enjoyed it!  I not necessarily trying to do good work. I like surveys.  The answers do all the work.  I enjoy your "work" quite often though. You speak your mind and take out just enough of the naughty bits to not get banned.  It's an art.

justingoblue

August 20th, 2015 at 4:46 PM ^

I'm still impressed that a koala can do something other than climb trees, eat leaves and get kicked in the face by kangaroo joeys, but I didn't suggest Marsupial Monday, just said you better get on it after seeing your survey.

Overall though, I thought this was a koality read.

MeanJoe07

August 20th, 2015 at 5:23 PM ^

Means a lot coming from one the better diariests out there.  Diarist? Diariast?  Im makin it sound like you have bowel troubles, but you know what I mean.  I have to know what the niche is?  Is it Marsupials?  Because Marsupial Monday is happening.  Of course it will go on hiatus, but then be back in the OT season. 

 

 

Erik_in_Dayton

August 20th, 2015 at 5:57 PM ^

I would have told you that I like having you on the blog because you make me laugh and that, after you die from natural causes, I intend to wear you as a hat. 

Also, and I don't mean to cause a rift, but isn't RGard an ape and not a monkey? 

UMForLife

August 20th, 2015 at 9:57 PM ^

Koala life expectancy in wild 13-18 years, but much less in urban areas. I swear I knew this and did not have to use Google. /s

I hope you have a high life expectancy so you can keep on coming up with stuff like this. I somehow missed this survey. That is some funny stuff. I bet Dantonio likes Banana Nut Muffin, for no reason.

Esterhaus

August 20th, 2015 at 11:14 PM ^

 

It's been said that you koalas consume a lot of eucalyptus leaves. As a consequence, does your poop smell like Vicks Vapor Rub as some have claimed? No free samples in the mail, please, I'm simply trying to win a friendly bet with my bartenderix.

Also, I've personally witnessed Aussies commit very strange acts, not always under the influence but mostly so, and thus I am wondering whether you are a blood relation to Blake O'Neill? I'm sure you are asked this one frequently.

No, I am not a DNR officer or reporter for Rolling Stone or Slate. Thx

MeanJoe07

August 21st, 2015 at 9:56 AM ^

While I'd love to say my shit doesn't stink, it really does. I'm not related to blake as far as I know. I don't believe there are any documented cases of humans mating with Koalas.

lbpeley

August 21st, 2015 at 7:40 AM ^

sure I fully comprehend what in the actual fuck just happened here, but I do know I laughed my ass off at various points. There were some spots where I didn't though so I will withhold my upvote.

MeanJoe07

August 21st, 2015 at 9:53 AM ^

I think if I got you to "laugh your as off" for only but a moment then surely I am worthy of your upvote. I bet your Yelp reviews read a little like this: "My wife and I loved the dinner. I had the porchini rubbed Delmonico steak with 15 year aged balsamic and it was cooked to perfection. My wife loved her cedar plank salmon.  Even the salads were good.  Dinner rolls a little dry. 3 Stars".

Rappin Randle

August 21st, 2015 at 11:11 AM ^

Hey guys long time first time
But I guess it's coming out time
I'm a closeted rapper who happens to be a fan
But it's time to let loose and comment what I can
I won't post all the time but rhyming will be my Schtick
I'll be better with Practice like the boys at Al glick
Mean joe I'm accepting your invite for a brawl.
I'm not above punching a koala. matta' fact Imma give it my all
So go ahead folks and mark it in stone
This is the day randle took over the forums as his own