Has anyone intentionally toned down their fanhood in order to improve their well being/mental health?

Some of you should seek medical help. I love the University and the State of Michigan. I root for the teams that UofM fields but I'm not going to let it control or ruin my life

Get a grip.

Of course I was upset after the loss, but it really is just a game. I love Michigan and I am going to watch Michigan and I am going to cheer for Michigan regardless. I suppose I just disliked losing Sunday to depression so much that I separated myself from the game a bit. Just cheer on the team, and beat IU. I generally take about half an hour after losses to be pissy, upset, or depressed. Then we move on.

I've been a Michigan fan since I was a youngster, maybe around '79 or '80. Until I got out on my own, I couldn't watch as many games as I would have liked, but I did get to go and watch games live on a few occasions. I remember thinking how bad it was that UM went 6-6 in 1984.

Fast forward to '97 and the joy that went with it. After that, I pretty much expected that Michigan would be great every year. I was usually disappointed with the 8-4 type seasons. Then The Horror and the RR years happened, and 3-9 made me dial things way back. I was still a Michigan fan, but I just didn't have the enthusiasm and didn't get so invested in things.

Like others, I scratched my head at all the Manball talk when Hoke was hired, especially with Denard at the helm. But the Sugar Bowl season got me back into things with high expectations. Last season, things waned some again, and I started disassociating a bit once again. I've had to dial it back even farther; I can't let myself get stressed out and angry over a team that's broken in so many ways.

I seem to get waay to excited for the seasons thinking we will be good already, but in reality I remember thinking last year when Denard leaves and a bunch of others graduate that we are gonna have a weaker team this year.  I guess the Devin hype got me thinking we could be sweet, but he just isn't good yet..

 

Being the Number 1 dual threat QB in the nation several years ago, i guess i expect way more.  Especially when i see teams around the country with lesser talent that are completely dominating teams.

 

I finally realized that Hoke and his staff cannot get these leftovers from the RR era to play the way they want to.  I am still holding some reservations until they get more of their guys and see how everything pans out.  Until then i expect them to implode every game, and so far this year it has been about correct

Last night I was watching the game with a group of people that weren't really Michigan fans and were there for the Tigers game.  Anyways, at the end I legitemely think they thought I had turrets.  Even though I am a big Tigers fan, I didn't have fun during it even after the got the last out. 

 

I will say whenever Michigan loses to Sparty or OSU (other than in the Rich Rod years where I knew a loss was coming vs OSU and so I just would get really trashed), I definitely become borderline depressed for a few days where I question my well-being. 

 

I've learned to take a loss better than I used to, but losing last night in a choke-job like made me not sleep so well last year. 

I'm still as big of a fan, but I really stay away from mgoblog more after a loss like this.

yeah. the best way to help the stress level for me is to stay away from reading comments on the boards. Brian, Ace, Heiko, etc provide great content on this site, but the hundreds of FIRE ALL COACHES NOW over-reacters' comments are too much for my blood pressure to handle. The only thing worse than the 43-40 loss are the assinine comments from drunk, angry NCAA '14 video gamers who want us to be Oregon.

In general, since getting into the sport as a Coach, I have less and less patience

In one sense, it's sad that I follow this drama year round. Get caught up In Recruiting rankings and hype. But in the next breath, sports bring family and friends together. They are a great reason to fire up the BBQ....fill the cooler...and have fun with your family and friends. I think the main thing we need to do is keep perspective. We basically get so wrapped up in a bunch of 18-22 year olds out there playing their hearts out.
One thing a lot of my state friends say is that we are spoiled. We expect to win every game. Lately...well, that's been the hard part. Guess I'm going to try and have fun with it more.
Maybe spend more time bowhunting on Saturdays.

I used to get all bummed out about it, but it's gotten better since I learned to practice perspective and managing expectations. We can bitch and moan about Akron, UConn, and now PSU, but we are still 5-1 and very nearly 6-0. This team was projected as a 9 win team by much of the blog-o-sphere and I still think we can hit that. Also, the future is pretty god damn bright. It's only going to get better.

Moving away so that I wasn't going to games helped, as did getting married and becoming a parent. When I saw the board melt down yesterday, I realized I could probably summarize 90+% as "Fire Borges! Fire Hoke! Fire someone because maybe that will make it stop hurting!" That's just not healthy and so I stopped reading and moved on. I'm still here and I still care, but I'm not going to let it ruin my weekend. That sports fandom shirt is prophetic; enjoy the highs while they're there (ND) because you know these lows are coming.

As a psychologist (who has also done a lot of work with athletes), I'm getting a huge kick out of this thread. Some good advice listed above. Here's my approach to dealing with Michigan sports:

1. Nervously and excitedly look forward to game all week. Check in on mgoblog daily if possible, if not catch up on important stuff the morning of the game.

2. Gameday: sleep in, drink, overeat, get super excited and either happy/relieved or depressed. 

3. Try to get perspective the rest of the day/week by reminding myself of the serenity prayer, shit happens and hopefully we learn from it, there are more important things in life, whatever doesn't kill you, etc. This works to some extent, but my mood is still affected throughout the week (more important games affect my mood more). 

4. Repeat, and be glad it's football season, that I went to Michigan (best decision of my life), and that the future of the program is bright, regardless of what's going on at the moment.

I think coping with and hopefully growing from hardship is similar in sports and in life. Like a good cornerback, you want to acknowledge and learn from mistakes, rather than completely ignore them or dwell on them. We have a right to be upset over yesterday's game and it's important to grieve after a loss, but there are many rational things we can tell ourselves to move on after we acknowledge our shared sadness. 

so there's that.

i was actually contemplating starting this thread earlier. I don't know how most do it. I love Michigan Football, but I too must some how detach myself a few degrees. My whole weekend, (as well as my family's) rests on the shoulders of these 18-23 year old kids. I'm a grown man, my addiction is like most of yours. Last night was worst for me than App. State. We pissed that game away, I purposely went to bed, didn't watch the Tigers, all because sports, particularly Michigan football has taken over my emotions. I told myself that I would take a break from all Michigan for a week, but this was the first site I visited this morning. I will still watch this team forever, but I need to try and tone it back some. The words that came out of my mouth last night...I felt like I had no control. I think the biggest reason is I feel like i'm part of this journey each season, I don't know how the coaches do it. It is too stressful for me and I'm sitting on my couch or in the Big House.

I may even DVR every game for the rest of the season and only watch if we win. My family is too important for this crap that has nothing to do with my life to have such an effect on me.

Me!

I used to live and die with Michigan football.  I can remember how Ann Arbor used to be after a loss in the 1970's; it was like the entire city had all of its oxygen removed.  I also used to go into every year expecting an undefeated season.  

Now I go into every season expecting 9-3 in the regular season.  I expect one loss to an inferior team, one loss to a peer, and one to a team that is better.  When it happens as it did at PSU, I still hit the remote before I have to listen to the crowd reaction, but at least I don't have plexiglass bolted to the TV screen anymore.

But I'll still be watching and following the team like I have since I was 10 years old. It is possible that our young players need more experience and we are not quite good enough this year to compete for the B1G title. I still see at least two more wins this season. I think we will beat IU at home, we may beat NU or IA on the road, we may beat NE or OSU at home. I cannot even rule out beating MSU on the road. But I still think we will end up any where from 7-5 to possibly 9-3. Sorry but there is no juggernaut in the B1G. We could beat just about anyone or lose to just about anyone. I will be watching to see how much improvement this team will make during the season. I do believe we will be a much better team by the end of the season then we are now. So, yes. I'm as big of a fan as ever!

I was at last night's game and it was a mental rollercoaster.  You go from "we're gonna win" to "we're gonna lose" to "we're gonna win" to "we're gonna lose" over and over.  After two overtimes I was conceeding the game to have it over so I could go home.  I was mentally exhausted.  It doesn't help that I only go to UM games when they play in the Northeast which is typically just when they play at PSU and the last two trips to PSU have been horrible.  Why does every UM game at PSU have to be a night game on homecoming or Halloween??!?  Sheesh.

after Michigan loses, was pissed for the rest of the day.  Then I got married and I was told that needed to stop, since then, after a loss I crack a fresh beer, turn off all football and just hang with my wife and daughter.  

 

I had to learn to let the losses go, its going to happen, we all love Michigan but they cant win every game.  

 

5-1, beat Indiana

 

Hail!

Yes, but it was years ago. 

It's actually a pretty interesting question. I can get depressed as hell after I loss so when I am really down I do two things...

1. I immerse myself in the sport I am actually a part of, involved in, and make money off of...bodybuilding. I convice my self "what the hell am i worried about a bunch of 18-22 year olds playing a game?" and I just pay attention to my own "sport" (if you can call it that)

2. A segment on howard stern he gave some football scores and said "motherfucking losers who gives a fuck about a bunch of idiots running around some field fucking morons"

I don't know why but #2 always helped me put it into perspective. I think jsut knowing that a whole lot of people out there think "WTF do you care about a bunch of kids running around a football field for?" for some reason makes me feel better. 

[Alert:  Major Feelings-Ball ahead.  If that stuff bothers you, then stop reading now.]

Go16blue, I would reframe your question.  I suspect that those who have difficulty relating to the anger and frustrations of being a die-hard sports fan may have difficulty relating to those same emotions in a healthy manner when they arise in everyday life situations too.  Turning off the TV just defers personal accountability for when more important life situations arise.  I see my unabashedly-biased and rabid Michigan fandom as a relatively low-stakes situation to practice relating to intense emotions in a healthy manner.  Better to learn how to work with my experiences while watching a football game than to blow up at kids, co-workers or family.

As many others pointed out, it is possible to develop a healthy perspective while remaining a loyal and passionate fan.  But that’s the outcome.  How do we get there?  Stated differently, how do we get from Brian Kelly to Brady Hoke? 

Your friend’s approach is what I would characterize as a behavioral model within Western psychology.  He feels himself being triggered emotionally beyond some acceptable threshold, so he shifts his attention elsewhere or learns to avoid the triggering events. Yeah, that’s one approach, but it misses out on the opportunity for developing a more healthy perspective, as identified above and, more importantly, it misses out of the joys of fandom.  This year, you can’t have the highs of the Notre Dame game without also having the lows of Penn State.  Unless your response is literally trauma-inducing, I’d say that writing off participating in something you love is overkill.

Buddhist Psychology 101:  For me, it is not about intentionally toning down my fanaticism.   When the team falters, I try to allow myself to feel the anger and frustration fully and without judgment.  They’re just emotions.  If you leave them alone, they will pass.  Where we get stuck is when we identify with the motions.  We can do this by either trying to repress or numb ourselves to the emotions, or we can act out on the emotions to discharge the energy.  That’s when we risk harming others or ruining the rest of our weekend.  For those more contemplatively inclined, sitting with the discomfort of the emotional charge – rather than repressing or discharging it -- provides a golden opportunity to examine one’s own psychological beliefs and behavioral patterns so they are less unconscious and habitual the next time around.  Over time, the charge of the intense emotions begins to lessen, and they no longer have control over our behavior or temperament they once did.  We get angry, but not depressed.  We get frustrated, but we don't smash the TV or take it out on loved ones.  Go Blue!