Win Will Cause Me To/Loss Will Cause Me To Penn State Edition
A lackluster game and a lackluster effort from the posters. It was a letdown game for all. Penn State should be an up effort both on the field and here for another round of "Win Will Cause Me To/Loss Will Cause Me to."
My leadoff:
Win will cause me to: Hey we finally get Football Armageddon at home!
Loss will cause me to: Does playing Purdue count as Basketball Armageddon?
Lets go with an optimistic winner this week. The weeks winner is JHumich
Washington Winner:
Win will cause me to: Have a nice big pour of Basil Hayden, open all the windows, and blast the fight song.
Loss will cause me to: Shut off all the lights, still a big pour of Basil Hayden, and then probably wont leave the house for a week or so.
NIU Winner:
Win will cause me to: get irrationally excited about a less daunting B1G schedule than anticipated
Loss will cause me to: look under the bed for Rocky Lombardi
Rutgers Winner:
Win: I'll take a big steamy dump
Loss: same as a win but it will be in my pants
Wisconsin Winner:
Win: take back all the mean things I’ve said about the coach with respect to the Rutgers gameplan
Loss: rip my soul into seven pieces and having those seven piece latch onto 7 random objects so I can liver forever in pain and agony
Nebraska Winner:
Win: Jump up and down like Pat Fitzgerald did on the 2013 sideline vs Michigan moments before his soul left his body.
Loss: Officially change my name to CORNelius Karo, and then start a speaking tour of American high schools across the land persuading and encouraging kids, and anyone who will listen, to adopt a high corn, high carb, high fructose corn-syrup diet until parents lash out in anger, beat me up and run me out of town on a rail.
Northwestern Winner:
Losing will cause me to: Grind my teeth and go in search of my mouth guard, all the while bemoaning the upcoming jeers of the Sparties as 'State week' ramps up, and worrying about the State game...
Winning will cause me to: Be happy and turn my thoughts *finally, officially* to State week, with my psyche in shape, and somehow, unambiguously, held high as well.
MSU Winner:
A win will cause me to check to see what time the first CFP ranking comes out and ask the wife for victory sex.
A loss will cause me to rationalize that the season isn't over and ask the wife for pity sex
Indiana Winner:
Win will cause me to believe that we are going 14–1
Loss will cause me to believe that we are going 11–2
November 12th, 2021 at 11:53 PM ^
Win: Bring on the Buckeyes!
Loss: Oh shit, the Buckeyes!
November 13th, 2021 at 12:00 AM ^
Win: I will be heard to shout: “It’s 2016 again and we get OSU at home!”.
Loss: I will not be heard from for a while.
November 13th, 2021 at 12:01 AM ^
Win: Start talking myself into why we will beat the buckeyes
Loss: Dread…… and more dread knowing we will win pathetically next week 20-7
November 13th, 2021 at 12:09 AM ^
W: Let’s get Rambo!
L: Let’s get out of here before it gets too dark!
November 13th, 2021 at 12:17 AM ^
Win will cause me to stave off despair and shout “once more into the fray”
Loss will cause me to pretend like I never cared
November 13th, 2021 at 12:22 AM ^
Win: Profit $50 in my FanDuel account.
Loss: Double the bet next week at Maryland.
November 13th, 2021 at 12:23 AM ^
Win will cause me to pump my fist, yell “shit yeah” and then start worrying about us looking past Maryland as we try to make it to The Game with all the marbles on the line.
Loss will cause me to: make a fist, yell “shit!” And then assume that this will be the year we finally somehow beat OSU only to send Sparty to a conference championship as a result, because of course.
November 13th, 2021 at 9:30 AM ^
Now that I've heard it, I'm absolutely sure this is what will happen. I hate it here, where is the alternate reality where Bobby Williams has been the MSU coach for the last 20 years, and OSU never recovered from NCAA sanctions (something about cars, tattoos, etc).
November 13th, 2021 at 12:48 AM ^
A win will make me wonder why I slept thru the game.
A loss will make me happy I slept thru the game
Working 12 hour shifts over night on the weekends sucks
November 13th, 2021 at 12:56 AM ^
I'm working swing shifts this weekend. I'll probably be driving to work during the 4th QTR of a close game and when I get to work my co-workers will laugh at me and tell me my team sucks for losing on a last second FG.
November 13th, 2021 at 12:49 AM ^
A win will cause me to think we have a chance at a really good season and the OSU game may actually be a toss up game and if we win, we would could go to our first B1G championship game under Harbaugh.
A loss will make me think we will have no chance against OSU but the season was a bit better than I had predicted (7-5). We will probably get a citrus bowl bid and lose to TAM.
November 13th, 2021 at 1:16 AM ^
WIN: cackle with glee while yelling "FUCK PENN STATE!"
LOSE: howl in agony while yelling "FUCK PENN STATE!"
WIN OR LOSE AFTER 9OT: yawn repeatedly and yell "NOT THIS SHIT AGAIN.... FUCK PENN STATE!"
November 13th, 2021 at 1:19 AM ^
Win will cause me to yell FG Franklin.
Loss will cause me to yell FG Harbaugh.
I cringe typing that as I am a huge fan of Harbaugh.
November 13th, 2021 at 2:25 AM ^
Win: book my Rose Bowl tickets
Loss: delete email from the athletics department asking if I want to buy tickets to the Outback Bowl
November 13th, 2021 at 4:27 AM ^
We are not going to lose to this bullshit Penn State team.
November 13th, 2021 at 5:12 AM ^
If we do end up losing Im starting a snowflake thread about you
November 13th, 2021 at 5:12 AM ^
Win: Dream the impossible Dream of Michigan football.
Lose: Live this impossible Life of Michigan football.
November 13th, 2021 at 5:47 AM ^
Win - my glass is half full
Loss - my glass is half empty
November 13th, 2021 at 6:16 AM ^
W: What a turnaround season it’s been.
L: The season has been a bust. We have zero chance of achieving any goals for the 17th season in a row.
November 13th, 2021 at 7:00 AM ^
Win will cause me to start breathing again.
Loss will cause me to Penn State.
(* To "Penn State" is a verb, right? Like "a Rutger" is a figure of speech.)
November 13th, 2021 at 7:09 AM ^
If it is a verb, I certainly would not perform, much less advertise, that I was going to do it...
November 13th, 2021 at 7:11 AM ^
WIN: Wear every piece of Michigan gear that I own, daily, for the next 14 days, and regale anyone who asks with stories of my Michigan experience.
LOSE: Take tomorrow off, then see above.
Let's go boys.
November 13th, 2021 at 7:11 AM ^
Win will cause me to: Wow, Michigan will finally get to play OSU at home in a game that has more than pride and bowl selection on the line.
Loss will cause me to: Wonder which SEC team will have the honor of beating Michigan in the Outback Bowl.
November 13th, 2021 at 7:19 AM ^
In my best James Earl Jones voice…
Win- “I find your lack of faith disturbing.”
Loss- “I am altering the deal. Pray I don’t alter it any further.”
November 13th, 2021 at 7:40 AM ^
Win will cause me to: Exclaim here we go again :)
Loss will cause me to: Exclaim here we go again :(
November 13th, 2021 at 7:47 AM ^
Loss will cause me to go into business with this guy
November 13th, 2021 at 8:09 AM ^
I mean. There has to be some kind of money in pig spunk. If you think about it, he is creating lives that may not have been created before, so maybe the zealots should lay off of him.
November 13th, 2021 at 7:48 AM ^
A win will cause me to smile just a bit easier as it means the possibility of walking into the OSU game 10-1, if nothing else, is quite likely, which is better than I thought we would be doing if you had asked me in August.
A loss will cause me to paint rude slogans on a bowling ball, imagining that I am doing so on Franklin's head.
November 13th, 2021 at 8:07 AM ^
Win will cause me to mow the lawn with a big smile on my face
Loss will cause me to mow the lawn with a frowny face and then focus on the basketball game
November 13th, 2021 at 8:26 AM ^
Win will cause me to: Feel happiness on this cold Saturday and then start thinking ahead to what if scenarios
Lose will cause me to: Get annoyed at Ant Wright tweets claiming James Franklin to be the goat
November 13th, 2021 at 8:27 AM ^
Win will allow me and wifey to thrust in rhythm to "Hail to the Victors!" while wearing a busby.
Loss means there will be no busby.
November 13th, 2021 at 8:56 AM ^
Win
Loss
November 13th, 2021 at 10:11 AM ^
Win: Increase my already high rooting for any team playing OSU and MSU, trying to figure out how Michigan could still win the big 10 despite and including playing Ohio State.
Loss: Shrug, decide if the loss is more on bad play calling or bad ref calls. Enjoy basketball and hockey seasons.
November 13th, 2021 at 10:15 AM ^
Win: Watch The Game
Loss: Celebrate that it's officially Basketball Season!
November 13th, 2021 at 10:37 AM ^
Win: Yay on to the next game.
Lose: What a waste of a season, again. But Harbaugh is the best.
November 13th, 2021 at 11:19 AM ^
W = Heihachi Vs Kazuya Mishima (Heihachi wins)
L = Mokujin Vs Heihachi (Mokujin wins)