Top 11 Recommended NCAA Penalties for Ohio State
11. For every mile driven in an illegal car, Terrelle Pryor ordered to drive one mile in a Barbie Jeep
10. Ohio State must incorporate the phrase "I mean, everyone does ... kills people, murders people, steals from you, steals from me" into the official fight song.
9. Freshman reading requiremets are doubled as "Pinocchio" is added to the cirriculum
8. Gold pants for victories against hated rival Michigan replaced by items from the 50-cent vending machine in the Denny's foyer
7. Polygraph training now mandatory in fall two-a-days
6. Ohio State ordered to make the cannabis leaf the official helmet sticker
5. Script "Ohio" must be replaced by ALL CAPS so that nobody can "dot the i"
4. Tattoo artists and car dealers now count against the 85-scholarship limit (soon to be 65-scholarship limit)
3. All "W.W.J.D." bracelets replaced with "J.W.P.B." (meaning "Jesus Wouldn't Play for the Buckeyes")
2. All Buckeyes who received illegal tattoos must give them back
1. Ohio State must announce John Cooper as its new head coach ASAP
And Michael Knight, Gary Coleman and Kit in one photograph is awesome bordering on epic...Anything but lame.
Lame yourself. I dug the post.
Creative and pretty funny -- I got a laugh out of it. +1.
That is all.
Nebraska comes to the B1G 10 at a great time. We'll still have a great rival aorund.
of my life reading this. I'm a slow reader.
I thought it was pretty funny
lighten up people. some of these were pretty good
I couldn't help but notice that you left out "tosu officials must publicly announce they've finally become like an SEC team".
... vacate the one SEC victory they've had in most Bucknut fans' lifetimes.
They lose "The" status, and become aOSU
"That OSU"
osu should be required to replace the buckeye leaf with asterisk stickers to represent the "provisional" nature of their football records while the NCAA is still deliberating on its ruling.
How about a gray T-shirt with a huge scarlet asterisk on it??
I would buy one.
while your at it, make some black t-shirts with an orange asterik.
Couldn't wear the colors. I'm going with "TPeezy is my homeboy" in blue on maize
I considered a blue asterisk on a maize T....but I am not sure the rest of the world could make the connection. How about inside the scarlet asterist in maize numbering with blue shadow we put this
44 – 57- 6
35 – 57 – 6
all *uckeyes must have a security deposit for football equipment.
the entire staff for the football program (coaches, players, and trainers) must get a 12" tall block M tatooed on their chest.
football players for tsio must ride the short bus to and from school, including practice and game.
must return crystal nat champ trophy, oh wait tp just got a tat sleeve on the other arm.
all tsio football players must wear scarlet dunce cap for the entirety of players eligibility.
tat5 players must do community service by working concession stands at The Big House for the night game between ND and Meechigan.
all college football fans are invited to kick tressel in his buckeyes.
gene, gee, and tressel are ordered to pose for portrait with one covering his eyes, one covering his mouth, and one covering his ears.
tressel must serve as clarrets (sp?) butler.
all future football games for tsio will be away games.
I like your ideas but let's keep in mind that a dunce cap and a great familiarity with riding the short bus are prerequisites of acceptance to tO$U.
"gene, gee, and tressel are ordered to pose for portrait with one covering his eyes, one covering his mouth, and one covering his ears."
That one was my favorite! Well played, sir.
Perhaps decent spelling and grammar should be deployed. Some of these look like TPryor words
1. Student-athletes MUST be required to go to class.
2. Instead of scripting "Ohio", they will script "Cheater State"
Gee/ Gene/ Tressel and Pryor must be permanently etched on all the urinals around the University.
All OSU students must mandatorily use these at least once during their enrollment
Etch it into some coolers so the fans can also get in on the action
The OSU Office of Information, handling FOIA requests from the media, is rumored
to now play the song:
"Hang up, Snoopy
Snoopy, Hang up..."
These tones will become the new Ohio Fight Song.
As I've noted earlier, the new school song will become "Car" men Ohio, which the Marching Band will be forced to play, and fans forced to sing, at every half time.
for Cheater on them...ALL O$U sports team must now where the Scarlet Letter....
We can make fun of OSU without resorting to the stupid, childish "O$U" crap.