Saturday Trolling Confessional
Alright, I'll admit it. Sometimes the opportunity to troll a rival presents itself and I'm tempted to succumb. Yesterday the urge to surrender to the dark impulse arose...
Michael (NOT Mike) the CSR I was talking to, mentioned something about the Red Wings logo on my credit card. I told him I chose that one because there wasn't a MICHIGAN version available. Mike responded by telling me that he was from Cbus and the Red Wings version was probably a better choice, given what OSU did to UM on the gridiron this past season. I let that comment slide. Temporarily.
As our business neared completion, Mike asked my permission to proceed with the transaction. This was a fairly substantial business transaction and Mike stood to make a healthy commission upon its completion. Mike knew that. I knew that. Mike knew that I knew that.
I told Mike that he could proceed with the transaction just as soon as he finshed a chorus of my favorite song. Mike stammered and stuttered a bit, but after a little encouragement (coupled with economic incentive, no doubt) he delivered a surprisingly good and fairly accurate rendition of The Victors.
I know trolling is wrong. I know I should have felt guilty. I probably need therapy. But all I kept thinking was, FISH ON!
I'm sure many of you have some much better trolling anecdotes to share, so let this be the forum to confess your trolling sins and cleanse your Maize and Blue souls.
March 26th, 2016 at 10:30 AM ^
March 26th, 2016 at 10:30 AM ^
Thats what I thought, OP couldn't have played this any better.
March 26th, 2016 at 10:34 AM ^
March 26th, 2016 at 10:38 AM ^
Should've thought of that. I figured he was thrilled to know that he had just made enough money to buy everyone in his family a new cooler for Christmas this year.
March 26th, 2016 at 10:56 AM ^
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March 26th, 2016 at 12:17 PM ^
Why oh Why didn't you video that on the sly? That would have been worth more than diamonds.
March 26th, 2016 at 10:30 AM ^
I once sold a guy wearing a msu hat some fake shrooms.
the funny thing is, ran into the guy sometime later, and he told me he tripped hard...I don't know man. Spartans....
The Michigan difference
March 26th, 2016 at 10:32 AM ^
March 26th, 2016 at 10:36 AM ^
March 26th, 2016 at 10:38 AM ^
Do you have a time machine??
We have to do something to kill time until FOOTBAW returns.
March 26th, 2016 at 10:56 AM ^
March 26th, 2016 at 10:39 AM ^
Not sure the actual size of the transaction, but that is a helluva lot of pizza and wings.
March 26th, 2016 at 11:17 AM ^
I never tip my Sparty pizza delivery guy until he sings hail to the victors.
March 26th, 2016 at 11:25 AM ^
March 26th, 2016 at 10:40 AM ^
March 26th, 2016 at 10:47 AM ^
has no comment. Sends his apologies.
March 26th, 2016 at 10:49 AM ^
March 26th, 2016 at 10:51 AM ^
Is it wrong if I admit that part of the appeal of modding this blog is finding opportunities to troll my own fanbase, at least with less impunity? That probably makes me a terrible person on some level, but I think I can live with that.
More in line with what was asked, however, I have a neighbor who - for reasons I cannot fathom - is an avowed Kentucky basketball fan despite also being an avowed Michigan football fan. I have no idea how that works in his head, but since the loss to Indiana, I have made it a point to ask him how Kentucky basketall is doing whenever I see him.
Also, the day after selection Sunday, I was approached by one of the resident OSU people at work - who obviously hadn't watched or heard news from the Selection Show (lucky him) - and he asked me if Michigan wanted to go to the NIT. I told him quite frankly that nobody REALLY wants to go to the NIT, that's why I was glad we had the opportunity to play into the NCAA Tournament. He must have known Ohio State was in the NIT, because that's when he walked away.
March 26th, 2016 at 10:54 AM ^
March 26th, 2016 at 11:32 AM ^
are not called "fans"--they are called "newspaper subscribers"....
March 26th, 2016 at 10:53 AM ^
March 26th, 2016 at 10:54 AM ^
March 26th, 2016 at 11:10 AM ^
The pastor at the church I attend is a huge MSU fan, so naturally after they won he got in a couple jabs at the predominantly pro Michigan congregation. I am very involved in our church so a couple weekends after the game I was backstage during one of our many services watching the Rutgers game with a couple others on my phone. This particular pastor began to egg me on about how I should stop crying and that the MSU game was over. I brushed it off be he continued to nag me about the loss. We had been going through a sermon series about the prodigal son and after a couple more minutes of badgering I had enough. I turned to him and asked what the difference between the prodigal son and the MSU grad was, they both wasted their father’s money and both wound up feeding farm animals. He was so flustered and taken back that he just sat there speechless for some time. Needless to say to this day he has not said a word to me about MSU.
March 26th, 2016 at 11:18 AM ^
... or as they're known in East Lansing:
Raiders of the Lost Opportunity.
March 29th, 2016 at 12:52 PM ^
Why is bragging on behalf of other teams beating MSU such a big part of fandom these days?
"... they both wasted their father’s money and both wound up feeding farm animals."
I'm very glad you mentioned this. I remember during the Rutgers game that I thought I heard the faint but unmistakable sound of a mic dropping. Now I know I was right.
March 26th, 2016 at 11:33 AM ^
Bank of America actually has a maize and blue 'M" credit card sanctioned by the alumni association now.
Edit: I don't have a trolling story as much as I do tales of woe when encoutering Buckeye alum and fans
My wife's back surgeon, Richy Rich (I couldn't make this up) was an OSU alum and played for Woody Hayes. His office was a literal shrine to Hayes with a desk throw in to pretend it was an office. Normally this would have grounds for mass hilarity but given my wife's pain affliction, I played nice and just put up with his bullshit jokes about Bo.
When I was interviewing people to fill an engineering spot on my team, one of the candidates (who mentioned nothing about OSU on his resume) walked into my office and happened to have an OSU tie clip on, saw a picture of Canham Natatorium on my wall, stared at it for 10 seconds, and walked out.
I had a network wireless refresh project for our main campus infrastructure. The leading candidate to get the work had a sales rep who apparently is an OSU fan/alum because she looked me up on LinkedIn while we were discussing terms. We're discussing time and material costs and she just blurts out "Omg...fucking Michigan?!" She went from accomodating and professional to rude and hostile in about three seconds. Needless to say they ended up not getting the work and I had a nice chat with her boss.
March 26th, 2016 at 11:34 AM ^
March 26th, 2016 at 11:17 AM ^
A) You're a really good dancer and she can't wait to reward you
or
B) She's a prankster who likes to call the neighbors and ask if they've seen the guy having seizures in the front yard.
March 26th, 2016 at 11:18 AM ^
March 26th, 2016 at 11:17 AM ^
I just rock my Michigan gear when I need a boost, and live a righteous life. It's really more of the fact that you exist more than anything, and that you have special knowledge and skills beyond their comprehension, that is annoying. That'll show 'em!
March 26th, 2016 at 11:21 AM ^
NICE J0B
March 26th, 2016 at 11:21 AM ^
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March 26th, 2016 at 11:23 AM ^
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March 26th, 2016 at 11:29 AM ^
I SO wish I could upvote this brilliantly beautiful post! You are a legend!!
Edit: Unbeknownst to me at the time, my upvoting would be unlocked with THIS post! Done deal. Now if I could just upvote it again...
March 26th, 2016 at 11:29 AM ^
I love when the guy serving you your food tries to give you an OSU jab. The rebuttal doesn't even need to be said.
March 26th, 2016 at 11:57 AM ^
Epic troll: (I did not do it, but I certainly appreciated it)
I worked at NCR in Dayton, OH in the ‘80’s. Dayton is 90 minutes from Columbus and is big-time Ohio State country.
It was the Friday before the 1986 Michigan-Ohio State game (the Harbaugh guarantee game). The winner of the game would win the Big Ten and go to the Rose Bowl. The loser was runner up and would go to the Cotton Bowl.
The corporate campus was all abuzz about the game. I was quite demonstrative about my Michigan loyalties so they were all in my face the whole day. We had just lost to Minnesota the week before and we looked vulnerable in their eyes. Before I left for the day, I found a big note pinned on the outside of my cube that said “Enjoy the Cotton Bowl, losers!” I was getting it from all sides.
But then as I was getting in my car, I saw a beautiful sight: somebody had replaced the corporate flag on top of the tallest building on the corporate campus . . . with a Michigan flag.
The big bold Block M looked to me like the American flag shining through the smoke and fog on top of Mount Suribachi. I was ready to go charge a hill.
I walked around with a Cheshire-Cat grin all the next week at work.
The 1980’s and early ‘90’s were a fun tme to be a Michigan fan living in Ohio.
March 26th, 2016 at 11:38 AM ^
March 26th, 2016 at 11:43 AM ^
My father-in-law went to MSU undergrad and UM dental school. He often says things like "I didn't have to lift a finger and four-pointed at MSU, while I had to bust my ass even to graduate from UM."