OT: Most embarrassing sports story?

I was the last guy off the bench on my 9th grade team.  Through the first half of the season, I hadn’t scored a point or even taken a shot.  In Game 11, we were winning big, and my team and coach were determined to get me my first basket.  I had the ball and took the last shot of the game.  Airball

Band is a sport, right?

playing LAPD in football.  night game.  despite playing them very tough in prior years we got blown out, 52-17. i had never been on the wrong end of such a lop-sided score.  the other xtraembarrassing moment was during the game i got free on a seam route down the middle and got my head around too late for what would've been a TD.  instead, the ball went 'doink!' right off my face mask.  and yeah, the game was televised.  

Back in the eighties, I was playing indoor winter slow pitch softball. My team had played many games and we were going against a team playing their first game. 25 run mercy rule at anytime during the game. We batted first, scoring 35 runs. The other team went down 1,2,3. Game over. Imagine being the cleanup hitter and not even getting one at-bat?

Back when I wrestled, all the guys on the team called me “horse dick.”

What was the question again?

I was an infielder for all of my life. My last game I asked coach to put me in the outfield.  He sticks me in right where I can do the least amount of damage.  3rd inning, kid belts a deep fly ball.  I break to the right to try to track it down. I'm running hard after the ball trying to get a good angle to make the play, until the fence stops me dead in my tracks.  Got a nice scratch on my face where it hit the fence. Ball went waaay over the fence.  Ugh.

Ugh, freshman year basketball, we're up 1 or 2 points, with oh, 4-5 seconds left.  I have the ball, get fouled, go to the line to shoot a 1and1 and seal the game.  Now, I truly cant recall any other time in my life that I've done this but...I airball the fucking free throw. We're still going to win of course but they inbound on their end, to a kid I actually remember playing against in travelling/AAU basketball the prior few years, but anyway I'm on him so to speak, but of course not going to foul, and ride him up the sideline to just before half-court where he heaves it up and sinks a prayer.

/dead

I’m from Mt. Pleasant.  In 6th grade, 1990, my AAU team played a team from Detroit.  It did not go well.  108-15.  That score is burned in my memory. 

I was on a horrible Junior High football team and it would be a fair to say I was an  average athlete, maybe better. I played quarterback, linebacker, kicker and punter. Again my teammates were beginners or not athletic. We scored our first touchdown of the year in week three and the parents were going crazy. Standing ovation until we kicked off. Me, the kicker, was about to launch one as far as I could. I slip as I plant lifting me up and Just Barely hit the top of the ball wobbled a bit to fall sadly forward one half a revolution. The crowd erupted in laughter, both sides. The refs whistle blew to the beat of laughter, threw a flag and said laughing “Son, no one in the stands have any idea how incredible that was.”

1981, Senior year at Michigan I had floor seats right next to the visitors bench (pre maize rage days).  One Sunday we were playing #1 ranked Indiana so this was a nationally televised game (back then this was a BIG deal).  At some point in the game the ball went out of bounds and rolled to me on the floor so I picked it up and threw it to the official.  Then I sat back down but unfortunately for me the seat bottom snapped back up and I promptly fell on my ass, on live TV, in front of everyone person in America watching that game.  Thank God this was pre DVR or YouTube or I would be (in)famous by now.

I can't even begin to tell you how many people commented over the next week they saw my pratt fall and how funny it was and how many people I didn't even know would say "hey, was that you falling on TV?"

Beat that one.

High school PE, running to first base in softball trying to leg out an infield hit. First baseman whiffed on the catch which thumped me in stride, right in the nuts.  That sucked.

In college, it was my turn playing first.  Throw was a bit high and wide — I was hardly an experienced first baseman, went to catch the ball without paying much attention to my body position, jumped right in the way of the baseline and sent the batter (my best friend, as it turns out) flying with a combined and unintentional trip/hip check.  Would have been beautiful if I was playing D in hockey.

7th grade football on the kicking team. Thought I had the returner all squared up, he got super low and hit me right around the knees. Next thing I know I'm upside down in the air. I did not stick the landing.

I was captain of my high school football and wrestling teams. After my Junior year wrestling season I went out drinking and we got caught. (A humorous story) School policy was you lost the next three games of your next sport.  A pretty big deal if you’re talking a nine game season heading into your Senior year.  

So I went out for track.  I was required to stay out the whole season or the three meet suspension would not count.  I didn’t have track speed and was not a distance runner.  I decided pole vaulting would be easy since I had the build and enough speed and athleticism.  I was so wrong.  I never made the minimum height all season. Worse is my buddies would always show up and cheer me on and harass me as the bar went flying time and again.  
 

Huge respect for the guys and gals that can vault. 

Coed softball.  It’s the bottom of the last inning and we’re in the field.  A guy from he other team pinch runs for another guy.   Couple of batters later, he’s on 2nd base, with two outs, runners on 1st and 2nd, and score tied.  

This is where I fucked it up.  I’m pitching and I’m trying to remember where the guy on 2nd bats in the order, but he’s on base because he is running for another guy.   I’m looking at the next batter and there isn’t anyone standing on deck.  Coed rules, of you walk a guy and there is a woman batting after him, she can elect to take an automatic walk.   I’ve convinced myself that the guy on 2nd is on deck, so I can walk this guy, and load the bases, I’ll get the automatic out because the next batter is on base.  I intentionally put in the batter and out walks a woman from the dugout towards the batters box and promptly takes her automatic walk to win the game. 

My Freshman year of high school I was on the cross country team, and having never run as part of an organized team or even individually before, I wasn't very good, especially at the beginning of the year.  There was no separate varsity and JV teams, we just all ran together at meets.  Our first meet of the year, a preseason meet at Fenton was the first time I ever ran in a race.  Before each meet, a member of the host team escorts the visiting team around the course, showing where each turn is, where to double back.  etc.  There is no clearly marked race route.  I wasn't paying attention at all.  About 2 miles in (they were 3 mile races back then), I was so far behind the pack I had no idea which way to turn and ended up running the wrong way.  The other Freshman on our team was behind me, following.  The race route went past the start / finish line 2 or 3 times, and the kid behind me and I were running the wrong way.  The kid's father was there as a spectator and pulled us aside, then said just jump in here, pointing us in the correct direction. We got just demolished in the meet, and on the bus ride home, the coach was tearing into the team, especially the seniors for their weak performance.  But he saved praise for me as a freshman who showed up some of the veterans (the other kid still finished at the back of the pack).  I had no idea the coach was going to say anything like that. I was still so far behind most of the rest of the team I didn't factor into the scoring at all. but the slow plodding senior that finished behind me figured it out, and for much of the rest of the year I went by Cutter (I eventually passed up that senior for real, and he stopped calling me that).

Ive had a few

After getting a single,i took a few extra steps to check out a girl i met the night before.Next thing i heard was "you are out" i got picked off.

As a Freshman at GPS the score was 62-61 (we are down) like 8 seconds left,we steal the ball (i take off for offense) im all alone a perfect pass hits me in stride,nothing but me and glory,i missed the lay up,we lose.

Playing SS i once threw a ball on a double play attempt,that hit our 2nd baseman in the foot.I was probably three feet from him,

While batting.a fast ball was coming at my face and instead of ducking or turning my head,i tried to catch the ball with my left hand,I didnt break my hand,but damn near did.

So many more...ahh the memories

Just a sandlot game, but I hit for the cycle & got thrown out 3 times trying to stretch a single into double, double into triple, & triple into home run.

When Michigan plays OSU in football.

Not sure why someone is dropping neg bombs on Magnus.  It’s kind of nice to have a thread that’s not about the Virus. 

I think this was 6th grade basketball. We’re lined up for layup drills, first practice of the season. This is after the coach gives us the, “respect your teammates,” speech. One of the kids shot the ball up and over the backboard. The rest of us immediately started laughing hysterically. The coach had us run laps for a half hour after that.

Playing left field in the 1st game of a double header. I was primarily a catcher/3rd baseman but our starting LF was late to the game because he forgot to dry his pants so I was moved out there and our backup catcher was put in (our coach had his stupid moments).

Short pop fly in my direction, started to run in to catch it. Realized I was probably going to have to dive. Then I realized even if I dove I was not going to catch it, but I was already leaning over too far so I face planted and took the ball off the bounce to the chest.

Rowed in college. We had a 5,000m test day in the fall. For some reason I blanked and set the erg to 2,000m which we do in the winter and spring. Took me 750 meters before I realized I screwed up. Had to stop, reset, and start again. Rhythm is a big thing in rowing because you're above 180bpm pretty much the entire time, essentially red lining for 16-17 minutes. I had just started to get into a grove and my heart started to steady. Needless to say the actual 5k was painful and I almost passed out.

15 years old, Babe Ruth ball.  Kids are throwing curves with regularity now and actually get them over the plate instead of "oh a curve I'll just let that one bounce for ball 3" all the time.  I'm batting with two outs and runners on 1st and 2nd against a kid I know has a pretty good curve ball.  By which I mean he usually throws it for strikes.

He gets me down 0-2 pretty quick, but I don't go down so easy and work the count full, fouling off pitches as I go.  Eventually I realize he's alternating curves and fastballs.  I foul off a fastball I don't like and think curve.  Sure enough, here it comes, and I poke it over the third baseman's head in kind of a no-man's land in left field, far enough away from everyone to hustle out a double.

Now I'm feeling like the man.  Anticipating and then hitting a curve for a two-run double after working the count is real major-league stuff.  Better yet, it seemed like the other team wasn't paying any attention to me on the basepaths.  They let me take this huge lead.  And our coach had given me the eternal green light to run whenever I wanted.  Not because I was fast, but because I was smart and aggressive.

So, after a couple pitches, this smart and aggressive baserunner with the major league bat says heck with it, if they're not holding me on I'm gonna steal third, and took off as hard as I could on the pitch.

Only then did I realize my two-run double was a one-run double and our runner on first had stopped at third.

1.) my first game of travel baseball when I was 12, I was playing outfield and tried to throw a runner out at home. I was so juiced up I threw it over the backstop. 

2.) baseball again, we were playing the best team in our league when I was 14 and I was so juiced again I stole second and tried to steal 3rd on a ball in the dirt but my teammate on third didn’t even budge so I was standing next to him at third and tried to run back. 
 

3.) in high school hockey, we were playing our rival in the state playoffs. It was tied with under a minute left and one of their d men went to ring it around the boards, I put my stick over the puck so he’d whiff which he did and he fell flat on his ass. Ref called a hook and I said, verbatim, “that’s bullshit” and he gave me 10 minutes. Rival won it in OT while I sat in the box. I was by far the leading scorer in the whole league and my coach was pissed that I took such a dumb penalty(being the 10 minutes, he didn’t agree with the hook either). It was also the first game my mom had been to all season and she sees that. 

Hockey.  I was the goalie.  I wasn’t really paying attention because we were pretty much kicking their ass.  Puck in their end most of the game.  Next thing I know the puck is 3 feet in front of me and coming fast.  Defenseman from the other team got the puck, glanced up and saw I want paying attention, and fired a shot into the net right between my feet.

happened a few years earlier, and I was paying attention, just missed the puck, but that’s not so embarrassing because I was like 9 and in my first year of hockey, and we all sucked anyways.

Baseball in high school. Was not good having not played since little league. I hit a deep fly ball and ran as fast I could and was so happy when I made it to second base. The short stop was just looking at me, “He caught it. You’re out.”  I was sad. 

I swam in HS.  100 free was one of my events.  My first meet ever was sophomore year in HS.  I was so nervous, jacked up, just a bundle of nerves and emotions.  The starter sends us off and I push off the block like I'm pressing the stack in the gym.  When I hit the water, my body went into it but my banana hammock did not.

I was mortified.

Hindsight being 20/20 and a couple of decades later, I wish I would have said eff it and kept swimming.

Junior varsity football, Grosse Pointe South, 1968. At that time GPS played in the Border Cities Conference, which included Dearborn Fordson, Monroe, Wyandotte Roosevelt, Highland Park, and Royal Oak Dondero, which was the class of the conference that season in JV ball.

Dondero had a huge fullback, a big rough OL, and they were running through us with ease. In frustration, our coach put me in a monster man, basically a middle LB. I was 5-7 and 120 lbs soaking wet, so to say I was a bit undersized is an understatement. The fullback—who was easily 6-1 and 190—gets the ball again and ran it straight up the middle, right at me. I courageously went low to tackle him, and his knee catches me straight on the crown of the helmet, knocking me into the dirt, and he proceeds to run right over me on his way to a long touchdown.

I didn't lose consciousness, but the proverbial little birds were flying around my head. I managed to make my way to the sideline without assistance, but to my horror the coach put me in as the deep return guy on the kickoff, maybe to punish me for getting run over so abjectly on the touchdown run.

So I'm back on about the 5 yard line, and the kickoff hits the twenty and dribbles back to me. I fumble picking it up, so I'm at the one yard line by the time I've got the ball in my hands. By then the concussion I'd sustained was wreaking havoc on my decision-making abilities, and instead of running straight up field to get what I could out of the return, I proceeded to run laterally back and forth along the two yard line like a duck in a shooting gallery, trying to decide which way to go. I was ignominiously tackled at about the four-yard line.

That was the end of my high school football career—in the next practice, I partially dislocated my left shoulder, tearing and stretching ligaments, and my high school football career was done, undoubtedly for the betterment of both the team and me.

Probably when I was playing Little League in the outfield and had a pop fly right where the sun was. Hit the outside edge of my glove, smacked me in the face, and knocked me out.

I was on the Caltech hockey team (a club team), and we were playing one of the UC or Cal State schools around Los Angeles.

An opposing player was taking the puck up the right side near the boards.  When he crossed our blue line, I went in for a monster check.  I went in with speed, shoulder first, all my momentum behind it.

And missed.

With a thunderous BOOM!, I crashed off the boards and went sprawling onto the ice.

I got up, and the puck went scooting by.  I took a swipe at it and felt an eye-opening amount of pain in my shoulder area.  I skated around a little, but as soon as the puck cleared our zone, I went to the bench.

Since the pain wasn't going down after some moments, I pulled forward my jersey and pads to take a peek.  There was a bulge where my left collar bone was.

I looked over at the guy next to me, who was intently watching the game.   "Hey, Dave, does this look OK to you?" I asked.

He glanced over.  "No," he said, and immediately turned back to watching the game.

At that point, all the blood drained from my head, and I felt instantly very woozy.  I took the water bottle and squirted cold water on my face until I felt better.

After the game, I went to the ER and did end up having a broken collarbone.

(Interestingly, one of my teammates on the Caltech team was from Okemos, Michigan.  I tend to run across people from Okemos.)