OT: GET CHECKED OR GET WREK'D
Welp, we're going through a family crisis here at the ol' dragonchild homestead. I won't share the sob story here -- it's been told a million times by other people, "if only we'd have known, blah blah blah" -- but since it's still August I'll just put out a PSA and remind everyone that many conditions and problems are easily managed if detected early, but your body does not have the ability to detect them. That, or the symptoms are "great imitators", by which I mean they're difficult to distinguish from minor ailments.
I'll relate a non-crisis story here. A few years back I suddenly got flu-like symptoms during work, but something about it felt. . . off. Of course I felt like crap, but the symptoms weren't notably worse than my usual flu ass-kicking. However, there was some abdominal discomfort, very subtle, that I didn't recognize from my usual, different from the upset stomach I often get. So I got checked out, and the clinic very quickly discovered I had an internal bacterial infection. They promptly put me on strong antibiotics and I made a rapid recovery. And that was that. Had I waited, I might've seriously messed myself up, possibly even died. (In fact, a family friend basically did just that and wound up in critical condition. OK, so that's a crisis story, but you get my point.)
My rule on these things is "get checked if you don't recognize it". What'll kill you isn't intensity, but unfamiliarity. By which I mean, if you're a desk jockey like me and do yardwork for four hours, next day you might feel like you got run over by a car, but that's just being an out-of-shape slob. On the other hand, just a tiny difference in how a "flu" feels can be the difference between "just a sniffle" and "bugs are eating my internal organs". But again, that's only if there's a difference to notice in the first place!
I can't put a comprehensive list here, but here are some examples off the top of my head of crap you need to take seriously that you can't just rely on your feels. There is absolutely no reason for any of this to be scary, or require memorization for that matter, as long as you're not a "tough it out" twit who measures your self-worth by how much pain you can ignore. If you have a family history or a risky life habit (smoking, drinking, etc.) with a correlative condition, get checked.
heart conditions - often completely asymptomatic
liver damage - often completely asymptomatic until horrible, slow, agonizing death
heart attack - often felt as jaw pain and/or heartburn
stroke - excessive sleepiness or other neurological irregularity
whiplash - can take up to several days after an accident to become symptomatic
esophageal cancer - acid reflux
colon cancer - only symptoms might be constipation and/or stomachache
COVID-19 - might just be flu to you, might kill someone you know
HIV - decades-long incubation period
chronic carbon monoxide poisoning - headache, leads to cardiovascular damage (get a detector, they're cheap!)
depression - maybe not you, but folks get very good at hiding it
malnutrition
diabetes
August 16th, 2022 at 10:32 AM ^
Hope you and the family pull through this!
August 16th, 2022 at 10:37 AM ^
Thank you, but. . . there's no pulling through. The family member waited too long, and now nothing can be done. That's the point.
August 16th, 2022 at 10:57 AM ^
Thumbs up is a weird way to “show support” so I just want to say, without knowing specifics, I hope that there’s minimal suffering, lots of support, and happy stories to share over a preferred beverage.
August 16th, 2022 at 11:21 AM ^
happy stories to share over a preferred beverage.
Speaking of which, institutional corruption is another "great imitator" to be careful of. If you're so entitled that officials and even the conference itself will bend the rules to ensure your success, you might get soft, and then one day you get 42-27'd. It's entirely preventable with early detection.
August 16th, 2022 at 12:07 PM ^
Dragonchild,
Thank you for this. I needed that reminder today. I am scheduling an appointment with a dermatologist thanks to your post.
I hope for the best possible outcome in the situation your family is in.
your 42-27 post is hilarious given the gravity of your OP and I laughed out loud at my desk reading it.
August 16th, 2022 at 1:13 PM ^
I have a lot of empathy for you having recently gone through the loss of my spouse to cancer. She had a number of symptoms that I was suspicious of and her doctor dismissed. The doctor was wrong and by the time we figured it out (ER visit before Christmas eve) it was too late. I regret every day that I was not more assertive.
I only add my experience as an additional thought to your PSA. If you're not comfortable with what you are hearing, get another opinion.
As silly as it sounds, maintaining a connection to a blog like this or anywhere else you can find some engagement, humor, support, whatever... just helps. I can only say take it one day at a time and trust yourself to do what you think is right for you and your family. Every situation is different and there are no "rules" for this or need to meet the expectations of others.
I'm very sorry you have to go through this experience.
August 16th, 2022 at 11:47 PM ^
Ugh, never met you, probably never will. But you seem like a "good man". I am sorry you lost your partner.
August 16th, 2022 at 10:39 AM ^
Great advice. I finally made the change this year to start getting regular prevention checks with an annual physical and related blood checks, dermatologist check, colonoscopy, etc. Feels so much better knowing. It was really the Jamie Samuelson colon cancer death at my age with same number of kids that spurred me into action. I also changed medical systems out of U of M unfortunately because the long wait times for appointments caused be to not want to make appointments. Now I can schedule everything within a few weeks.
August 16th, 2022 at 10:43 AM ^
Oh yeah, skin cancer is another one that's super easy to cure if it's caught early. Ditto for breast cancer.
August 16th, 2022 at 10:45 AM ^
Funny you posted this.
I just established with a new Dr after several years of avoiding them all together. I went in for chest pains since I had covid in 2020, shoulder issues, and overall health check.
It looks like my bloodwork and blood pressure are fine, but I am pre diabetic AND have some sort of growing bone/arthritis in my shoulder joint? More to come there.
Not seeing my two young kids (3 and 3 months) grow up scares the hell out of me...so my lifestyle changed a few months back. I cant eat and drink like my early 20s any longer, and I could lose 20+ more lbs.
I did buy the Color Genetic testing kit to see if I had any mutations/genes that are shown to be a precursor to cancers or heart disease. I do not, so that means my changing lifestyle and "getting checked" continually are my best plan of action. My wife is taking it, since Cancer is prevalent in her family. A family friend took it and they had signs of genes which show an increased chance of stomach cancer. She had her stomach removed as a precursor, and after the biopsies, he stomach was full of stage 1 cancer.
Also, My mother in law felt a lump in her breast which was originally written off as nothing to worry about. The Dr let it sit for a year, when she finally went to UM to get a 2nd opinion. She has stage 4 metastatic breast cancer and is 4 years into the battle. Currently she is being treated by some of the top oncologists in the world at UM, and she doesnt have any signs of cancer. She CONSTANTLY questions everything, and even found a minute lump a year ago that was removed instantly. Please people...get checked! Dont be That Guy, listen to your bodies, and always get 2nd or 3rd opinions. Find somebody who will listen to you....
August 16th, 2022 at 10:47 AM ^
I had a "stomach ache" when I was 26. Thought it might have been bad cheese in the grilled cheese sandwich I ate earlier. Maybe the pickles.
After a horrible night sleep, the wife dragged me into the doctors office. Shortly there after, I had my appendix removed.
Men tend to "rub some dirt on it" while women tend to get a doctor's opinion. Get checked!
August 16th, 2022 at 10:59 AM ^
That's often the case, sure, but women can "tough it out" just as badly as men. FWIW, the family member who prompted this topic is female.
Women are often stereotyped with hypochondria/hysteria, so some of them just don't bother because they're convinced doctors won't listen. Unfortunately, to add to that we're still slowly working our way out of 20th century medical literature that never documented differences in symptoms between men and women. For example, heart disease is considered a "men's" ailment, but I remember reading somewhere that the symptoms for infarction can differ by sex.
August 16th, 2022 at 11:15 AM ^
My sister in law had mild chest pains for days. Finally went in and found out it was a series of very mild heart attacks. At the time, she was told this was common for women while men “get the big one”.
August 16th, 2022 at 3:35 PM ^
Women absolutely have different symptoms. Men get left arm pain. Women get jaw pain or nausea.
August 16th, 2022 at 6:25 PM ^
Location of the pain is specific to the details of the event. So. It is not just "left arm pain", FYI.
August 16th, 2022 at 10:59 AM ^
There's definitely a culture of performative masculinity being challenged and part of it involves not seeing the doctor in serious situations. Getting checked out by a physician or going to the emergency room when necessary can be a super unpleasant experience, but it certainly doesn't make you weak!
August 16th, 2022 at 12:22 PM ^
I’m 88 so definitely speaking from the top of the hill. Absolutely get annual, or better yet semi annual check ups with your doctors, and be a participant in those sessions. As best you can follow their advice. Don’t hesitate to see your doctors if something looks or feels off normal. However get your advice from professionals don’t read or listen to TV or internet pitches they will try to convince you you have every aliment they are pitching. Remember the goal is take care of yourself and your loved ones and living your life. As you age you will be required to come to terms with many physical and possible mental issues. Adjust as you slowly decline. Some compensations. For example when I was in my 20’s and 30’s I loved red meat and beer. Now I prefer vegetables and one glass of wine. Red meat tastes fine but doesn’t digest well, and beer results in a gout attack which is painful as hell. So I’m doing things which are not only good for my body but also are by choice. Have an ache or growth monitor for a few days. Conditions don’t take care of themselves go see your doctors.
August 16th, 2022 at 10:51 AM ^
Great advice, DC. Thanks.
August 16th, 2022 at 10:59 AM ^
Also watch out for unexplained weight loss, night sweats and lumps appearing in unusual places. I had cancer in my tonsil almost five years ago and there were no obvious symptoms until it metastasized to the lymph nodes on the side of my neck.
In retrospect I had been snoring way more than I had previously and was having increasing swallowing issues. These were not new symptoms, though.
Treatment was brutal, but I'm almost five years out and I can live with the side effects. Much better than the alternative.
I definitely second the advice: get it checked out.
August 16th, 2022 at 11:07 AM ^
Diabetes is definitely an important one that people don't realize is silent. I switched careers and went into building just because I knew sitting at a desk and wearing a tie an dress shoes to work would kill me. If not from boredom first then later from elevated blood glucose levels. Your Dr should check your hba1c yearly.
August 16th, 2022 at 11:15 AM ^
I guess it comes off as weird that I put "heart attack" and "stroke" and "whiplash" in there as "things not to be afraid of" but to clarify, the first two often have "risk factors" that can be detected -- high blood pressure, LDL, etc. Also, I do know of cases where someone got a stroke and survived, but waited so long that by the time they got checked, it had done maximum possible damage. As for whiplash, if you're in a bad enough car accident you'll involve first responders anyway, but that's not the only way to get it.
August 16th, 2022 at 12:59 PM ^
sorry to hear about it dragon
I get checked every year (blood, endoscopy, and colonoscopy starting next year) and have for the last few years. It's crazy what medicine can do if things are caught early enough. Things considered terminal 15-20 years ago are highly treatable nowdays.
August 16th, 2022 at 5:09 PM ^
On the other hand, we also haven't invented magic. Without early detection, we still can't do anything about a lot of these.
Esophageal cancer, for example, has one of the highest morbidity rates not because it's inherently difficult to treat, but because it's so quiet. If you catch it when it's just a polyp, you just get it removed. But most patients don't feel something's off until their entire esophagus is a mangled mess of tumors and the cancer's already spreading everywhere else, so the majority of treatments are palliative.
August 16th, 2022 at 1:28 PM ^
Best wishes to you and your family. I definitely go get a yearly physical to head issues off at the pass. Us men have to get better about getting check ups.
August 16th, 2022 at 2:08 PM ^
heart issues related to vaccine damage should also not be ignored, especially in young males.
August 16th, 2022 at 2:41 PM ^
Unintentional weight loss or gain. A couple of years ago, I was trying to lose a few extra pounds. Was proud of how well I was doing until the weight kept coming off without effort.
August 16th, 2022 at 2:56 PM ^
You also don't need to have something wrong with you to go get checked! Get your annual physical and have some bloodwork done.
August 16th, 2022 at 3:14 PM ^
Prayers to you and your family.
August 16th, 2022 at 4:58 PM ^
Cardiac issues are somewhat "predictable" if you and your MD have an honest set of conversations about family history plus your "lipids" numbers.
You can feel perfectly fine --- until the grenade goes off in your chest.
Also, be careful to not drastically and suddenly improve your diet: doing so causes "material" to dislodge and possibly/suddenly block an artery. Slow changes. Easy. Gradually.
August 16th, 2022 at 5:19 PM ^
9 years ago, I was visiting two Michigan roommates in Brooklyn NY for several days. We were going to talk philosophy and politics and religion and life and be able to argue and debate, but in a healthy and enjoyable way, just like back in Michigan. We figured we'd hit lots of restaurants (Dim Sum, Tapas, etc., etc.) and bars and hike and just enjoy the summer and each other's company.
Unfortunately, for me, I had a stroke the first morning there. Since I was only 54, and pretty healthy, the last thing I thought of was a stroke. To go to your OP, something was OFF with my vision . . . the left field was just . . . gone. Fortunately for me, one of the old Michigan roommates was a med school prof at Columbia. He quickly figured out what was (probably) happening, gave me 4 aspirin to chew into a paste and absorb, and we went to Weill Cornell Presbyterian hospital in Manhattan. One of the best stroke hospitals in the country. Because I was treated very promptly, the stroke was completely reversed.
This goes to the point of the OP: if something is OFF, don't ignore it. Don't just "lie down for a bit," or try to soldier through the situation. Get the help you need, and there's a good chance you'll be able to be treated. If you wait too long, that often can't happen.
August 16th, 2022 at 8:15 PM ^
MD here:
Diabetes and High Blood Pressure. I cannot stress it enough. They are killing you slowly if they are uncontrolled. You won't 'feel it' until it's too far gone
August 16th, 2022 at 8:17 PM ^
Prayers going up for you and all of your family.
August 16th, 2022 at 11:52 PM ^
Please accept my sympathies.
August 17th, 2022 at 3:20 AM ^
Well my hypochondriac ass has 37 new symptoms and is now on death's door after reading this.
August 17th, 2022 at 9:29 AM ^
This may be political but I don't care since it's been detrimental to myself and others. But we should absolutely have a basic health care system that covers everyone. Germany has a basic system that you can then pay to supplement if you want and have the money. It doesn't have to be like the UK where everything is free, but health doesn't work like other markets. If you're having a heart attack you don't shop around or wait until you've saved up or whatever. America spends so much more per capita than anyone else and we get poor results for it. It's a huge reason I haven't lived in the US for the last 11 years.
When I was in grad school, I had awful pain in my lower abdomen. I felt like I was being stabbed. Blood in my stool. I absolutely should have gone to the doctor. I still don't know what happened exactly but I could have died. All I could think about was how much it might cost and how that could fuck me for life. I had already been scammed by the University of Pittsburgh's health system. We even got a mass email warning about it from Carnegie Mellon later so I wasn't the only one. Long story short I had a simple doctor's appointment but it was in the Falk Medical Building which is technically a hospital so I was paying emergency prices. Only there about half an hour for no real care and had to pay like 450 bucks.
Those kinds of legit fears are absolutely a reason many people don't get checked or don't get care when they should.
August 17th, 2022 at 6:39 PM ^
I would throw one other thing on top of all the early-detection options and that is:
BE YOUR OWN HEALTH ADVOCATE, OR FIND SOMEONE THAT CAN BE.
For detection, as already mentioned above, this means getting checked out on a regular schedule and at the onset of any symptoms and pushing for answers/tests, but ALSO for the right treatment following any discovery/diagnosis.
In the case that something is discovered and there is a wait/prescribe/treatment path.....be on top of this also. Do your own research, ask questions, ask around, understand the options available to you and press your providers to do everything you think they should be doing for you. Make them explain their decisions and choices in terms that make sense to you....if it doesn't, have them explain differently until you do. Also important, have them explain the "why not" of any options they are foregoing or delaying. If your care provider doesn't like doing this, get another one.
This extends to treatment times and visits as well, be persistent if you are stuck somewhere on a gurney for a long time without explanation, or have to run around town for tests, whatever.
Being dismissive, waiting too long, not getting the right treatment on time, getting the wrong treatment can kill you just as quickly as late detection. It is a sad state of affairs and there are TONS of great people working in healthcare, but the reality for now is that is a massively profit oriented industry and they will always be short on time, explanations, resources, tests, whatever. A practitioner has an amount of time X to treat you and will not be spending much, if any, researching beyond their current knowledge base, checking on new ways of doing things, finding studies you might qualify for, etc.
I'm not saying be a Karen and go haywire, but be calmly persistent, don't take no for an answer w/o explanation and arm yourself with knowledge so you can press for what you should get.