OT: Coping after a pet's death

Best way to cope with the death of your beloved dog is to mourn for 1 month and then get a puppy. It is amazing how a puppy can turn tears of sadness into tears of joy.

I wanted to edit my post but it looks like you can't with the update. A new puppy might also help with the other dog's depression.

The other dog will recover soon enough, they will find a new normal faster than you.

And a new dog is completely personal. You'll know when is a good time but I'd wait at least until the end of the summer so that you're not training a new pup in the heat of the summer

This is a subject near and dear to my heart, so I’m fighting through site issues to (hopefully) leave a comforting comment. Your other pet will get over it sooner than the people will, as they don’t have the mental acuity to live in the past. I resisted every urge to do this myself, but the best thing to do in order to move forward (both humans and canines) is to bring another bundle of doggy joy into the home. It took us less than 30 days last time, and while we felt “guilty” for trying to “replace” our departed loved one, the healing came quicker. And now I can’t imagine a life without our newbie.

Good luck to you, and Go Blue! Long live 3.0 hawtness!

I'm so sorry about your wife's dog.  It's rough on humans and fellow dogs alike (if the dogs got along). Speaking from past experiences, they do realize that the other is gone and it does impact them especially when they have been together for a while. 

I have a Aussie/Chow mix and a Border Collie.  The Border Collie absolutely worships and adores the other.  The Aussie mix is 6 years older and is at the tail end of her life span.  I plan to get a new dog very shortly after the Aussie dies.  I'll find a shelter pet that is roughly the same age and life span of the Border Collie to help her cope and make a new best bud.  How soon you do depends on the situation.  All but one of my kids are grown and she leaves for college soon.  It won't be practical for me to get a puppy so I'll get an older dog for company for the Border Collie.

I recently put my MGoDog down and it was the toughest thing in my life. It’s harder than a human’s death because dogs are dependent on you for everything. Saddest thing ever. 

Holy shit, I am so sorry for you both.

My dog died about 4 years ago a few months before she turned 13. "Old," yes but she was extremely healthy except for the last 6 months when she was diagnosed with diabetes. It was honestly the hardest thing I've ever gone through and even now, it still hurts.

My wife and I got another puppy about 9 months after she passed away and in no way was I mentally or emotionally ready but the new puppy, now 3, definitely helped me heal.

I wish the three of you luck and give you my utmost sympathies as you're going through this most difficult time.

We put our cat to sleep in December, and turned around and got two kittens in January. There was a happiness missing in the house and I immediately wanted to fill that hole. I mourned the cat before he died -- he was diagnosed with kidney cancer, and lasted about 2 months before we knew it was time. Those two months were so sad because we knew it was a matter of months. So it totally depends how you feel. If you find yourself resisting for any reason, wait. 

Tough one.  But all will bounce back soon. Hang in there.

Sorry about your loss. My last ride to the vet was in 2011. My boxer sammy died from kidney failure. Over night he just started having seizures.  We started hydrating him manually, that got us another 3 months with him. At the very end, a friday, he was so weak he couldn't walk, even though i had a brand new couch we covered it with plastic and a comforter for the weekend. Wanted to spend one last weekend with him, didn't seem like he was in pain, couch be damned. I haven't to this day been able to replace him. I just cant go through that last ride to the vet again. I feel bad that i can't rescue a sad lonely bundle of joy from a shelter so i donate whenever i can. Whenever i cash a poker tournament i donate 10% to a shelter. Pets are part of our families.  I supervise a large project in a 55 and over community and get to interact with a lot of the residents dogs, most all mutts that were rescued. Those seniors really make me happy to see so many rescuing pets. 

So if you won't or just can't have a pet for whatever reason please donate to your local no kill shelter or rescue society. You can google pretty much any breed and find a rescue organization for most breeds. 

I’ve had dogs all my life, and it never gets easier, and it shouldn’t.  Dogs teach us many things, the foremost being unconditional love, but we learn something about life in their passing.  I’ve never cried so hard over anything else and even thinking about past good boys makes it dusty in here.  There is no getting around the pain, but getting a new dog helps.  We generally move on pretty quickly, since dwelling on loss is not why we’ve been granted life.

When you get a new dog, please consider a rescue dog.  They are all good boys and girls.

When my wife and I got together, we had three Labs between us. Some years later, there came a day when there were none. That lasted two weeks. We're dog people, couldn't have a house without dogs. It's hard losing a dog. Best of luck.

I have to disagree with the posters recommending to get a new puppy ASAP.  If it works that is great, but making a decision based on emotion usually leads to trouble (or bad decisions).  Our boys were together for 12 years and it took a couple weeks for our younger dog to get into a new routine, one that he is currently thriving in.  I will wait until he has passed before we consider adding a new dog to the household.  If your younger dog is actually young, then wait a few months for the emotions to settle down then decide if the timing is right.  In our case our "younger" dog is actually pretty old so it didn't seem fair to introduce a new dog into his life during his twilight years.  

This is, in my opinion, by far the best thing Bill Simmons ever wrote and it seems pertinent:

http://www.espn.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/090122

We put our Golden Retriever down last month. He had bone cancer and really nosedived his last two weeks. I'm still not over it. My wife wanted to get a new dog as soon as possible, albeit a Maltipoo (i.e., not a "real" dog, on my view). He's alright, though I'm less tolerant of his potty training mistakes because of how everything transpired. Everyone grieves differently. I'm still not over losing my husky/Malamute when I was 12. So I don't have any good advice, but as others have mentioned, your other pets do bounce back quicker. We humans tend to dwell. Hope it gets better for you, and Go Blue.

Yes, in some cases animals do grieve.

Our neighbors cat is basically our cat too.  He pops over everyday, if he comes over late enough we let him spend the night. 

When my neighbor's dog died, the cat chewed all of the fur off of his legs because he was so upset.

Sorry for your loss, as a person who grew up with animals they really are a part of the family.  I cried my eyes out when we had to put our cat down.  2 new kittens was the only thing that helped the family get over it.

Had to put our dog down a few months ago. She was 14 and had been really healthy until she had a mild stroke and then went down hill quickly.  It's the one thing that sucks about having a pet. We have actually avoided getting another dog and this has been the longest I have gone without a dog in my life.  But we are actually in a place where we are enjoying the freedom of being able to take off when ever we want and not have to worry about what to do with the dog. 

I think your other dog will adjust just fine and enjoy that one for many years.  Replacing your dog is really a personal choice and you will know if the time is right.

About 4 years ago, we lost two dogs in the span of 3 months.  At the time, we had the best vet we've ever had and he advised us when the first dog was clearly going to need to be put down that we should make sure our other dog was able to see that she had passed.  He saw how our two dogs were very attached to each other.  He advised we bring her along when the time comes for our ill dog.  We weren't able to do that due to how everything happened.  We had to put the dog down the morning before we left to see our daughter graduate from Michigan.

Our surviving dog spent months looking for our other dog.  It was really sad.  We decided to get a puppy (another Scottish Terrier just like the dog that passed) to help her get past the loss, but as it turned out, we discovered she had a brain tumor and had to put her down about a month before we got our new puppy.  I think all of us needed the new puppy to get over what happened that summer.  We get another dog last summer after waiting 3 years to put some time and space between the two dogs.  Don't want to set us up for losing two dogs so quickly ever again.

We had to euthanize my childhood dog just last week, I'm sorry that you had to go through with that. Ours went in to the vet to clip his tail (benign tumor) and they said he had kidney and liver disease and if he were human would've gone straight to dialysis. They gave him a pill and prescription food to see how he would do over 6 weeks, and he did improve dramatically for awhile, but fell apart over Memorial Day weekend. His hind legs kept falling out from under him, and it was tragic to see. The day after Memorial Day was his check-up to see how the medicine went and it was just over.

He had no sibling pets so I can't comment on how they behave, but I (since have moved away from the parents') rescued a dog and he's almost 2 years old and I think he can pick up on my emotions very well. It may not be so much that the other dog is mourning as much as they know something is off with you?

Sorry to hear that... Pets are loved like children (if you love your children) and it is a difficult time... Do the classy thing and get the dog's name tattooed with an RIP near it and get a rescue puppy...

There is no real timeline for when you should get another dog by. Or if you even should at all. You need to do it when it feels right to you. If you decide to get another new dog, DO NOT RUSH IT. Making these kinds of decisions based on impulse emotions and just trying to fill the void left behind isn't fair to you, your family, and especially not the new dog. Make sure you and your family are ready to invite another dog into your home. 

I've always worried about feeling like if I went out too fast to get another dog, I'd feel like I was "replacing" our original dog. But my in-laws gave me a good way to look at all of it. When you're ready to get a new dog, you are not replacing your old pup. They can never be replaced. All you are doing is rescuing another dog and saving another life. There are so many dogs out there who deserve a home, and they bring so much joy into your life. 

I adopted a new lab (2.5 years old) after the death of my previous guy and wasn't "ready" at the time, per se, but I had time off before starting my new job in Cali and felt I wouldn't have the opportunity to bond with the new guy if I waited too long. But there's no "replacing" the one you lost, there's just being open to new experiences. 

On that note, I notice a lot of people immediately suggest a "new puppy." Unless they're using puppy generically to mean dog, I'd put in a good word for an adult dog. One of the reasons we're massacring millions of adoptable pets in this country every year is our puppy/kitten fetish. They're just as lovable when full-sized, and for fuck's sake, don't buy from a breeder and encourage more breeding.

If you do choose to get another pet, I've always been a fan of getting a rescue and framing the idea of doing so as "the deceased pet's last act was helping us save this rescue's life." 

I'm a dog trainer in the area. Pet grief and depression is real for both the owner and the other animals. I lost the dog I was closest to 3 years ago. I had 5 dogs at the time. The two who were with him the longest had the hardest time. The other two were fine within about a month or so. His best buddy took almost a year to grieve. You should move on when it feels right for you and your wife. For some people it's immediately, for others it takes a very long time. I wouldn't advise you getting another dog for your current dog or to "take the place" of the one who passed. Dogs are individuals and expecting one to fill the void of another isn't good for you or them. 

My best advice is that you'll know when it's right for you. When you're excited about bringing a new dog into the house and not replacing the one you lost, you're there. Until then, if your other dog has dog friends, bring them around. It will help. I once had a client that had me set up weekly play dates after she lost a dog. Her other dog LOVED it and it helped her to move past the loss, knowing her friends were coming over soon.

My thought are with you,

Losing a pet is no different or less significant than losing any other member of the family,

Milhouse