October 14th, 2018 at 8:17 PM ^
Q. How do you get the spartan off your front porch?
A. Pay him for the pizza!
October 14th, 2018 at 8:56 PM ^
Never gets old.
October 15th, 2018 at 7:29 AM ^
Nope never does
October 14th, 2018 at 8:18 PM ^
Knock knock
Who's there?
A university that systematically covered up sexual assault for the betterment of their sports programs.
Fuck MSU and their asshole coach.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:19 PM ^
....coaches! FIFY.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:20 PM ^
Coaches, AD, BOT, fans, players, and families of their players, if we want to get specific!
Some of their students are probably OK. A lot of their faculty are not.
October 14th, 2018 at 11:05 PM ^
24 hours? Welcome to the show! WD?
October 14th, 2018 at 8:18 PM ^
What do UM and MSU students have in common? They both got in to MSU!
October 14th, 2018 at 8:20 PM ^
....and the corollary:
Q. What do UM and MSU students have in common?
A. They claim to have gotten into Michigan!
October 14th, 2018 at 11:11 PM ^
I disapprove of this version of the joke. You're being too kind in implying that MSU is a backup school worth applying to.
October 14th, 2018 at 11:33 PM ^
Yup. I never applied to Sparty.
Fuck that....
October 15th, 2018 at 8:25 AM ^
I've heard it a bit differently...
Q: What do Michigan and Michigan State students have in common?
A: They both applied to Michigan.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:21 PM ^
Q. What happens when someone transfers from Michigan to staee?
A. Average IQ at both schools goes up.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:23 PM ^
That's funny, and probably true.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:22 PM ^
Q. How many spartans does it take to change a lightbuld?
A. Only 1, but he gets 3 credit hours in electrical engineering.
October 14th, 2018 at 10:37 PM ^
Graduate credit, no less.
October 15th, 2018 at 5:30 PM ^
I'm stealing this one.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:24 PM ^
Q. Why did spartan stadium switch from natural grass to turf?
A. Because the homecoming queen kept grazing during halftime.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:28 PM ^
But.....it’s grass again?
October 14th, 2018 at 8:37 PM ^
Yeah: more like:
Q: Why does Spartan Stadium have a natural grass field?
A: Because it’s Michigan Agricultural College and growing grass is about all their graduates will ever amount to in life.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:58 PM ^
She got hangry
October 14th, 2018 at 9:35 PM ^
Why would you let facts get in the way of a good joke???
October 14th, 2018 at 8:27 PM ^
What do you call a Cadillac with five Sparties in it driving off a cliff?
A shame......because a Cadillac can fit six.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:40 PM ^
...but it's a good start
October 14th, 2018 at 9:00 PM ^
I’d say put em in a school bus, but they aren’t allowed in the normal long ones
October 14th, 2018 at 8:27 PM ^
How do you stop five Spartans from committing a sexual assault?
Throw them a basketball
October 14th, 2018 at 8:37 PM ^
That joke doesn't make sense. Appling can obviously do both at the same time.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:38 PM ^
Goddamn Mork and his dark magic.
October 14th, 2018 at 9:09 PM ^
When they need someone to take responsibility for the culture of sexual violence by MSU athletes.
October 14th, 2018 at 9:17 PM ^
Clearly he learned about the “fall guy” from his time at OSU.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:32 PM ^
This is the worst part of Michigan State week. I've been hearing these jokes since 1971, and they were covered in mold, dust, skin flakes, and mildew then.
And we'll go through it all over again for Ohio State week.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:43 PM ^
So the worst part of your week is a thread that you are sick of; yet, you clicked and read the comments and you're admitting you will click it again and read them during OSU week.
"Get off my lawn!"
October 14th, 2018 at 9:13 PM ^
To be fair, there was no indication of MSU jokes in the thread title...you kind of had to click to find out the content.
October 14th, 2018 at 9:27 PM ^
Hey Don, how about this one!! Did you hear about the fire at the Spartan library on campus? Luckily nobody was harmed, except for the 2 books that burned during the fire!!
October 14th, 2018 at 9:49 PM ^
The tragedy was that one wasn't even colored in yet!
October 14th, 2018 at 9:30 PM ^
As someone who’s only been a member since last year, and was not active at all especially once they started losing, I enjoy this because it’s new to me.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:32 PM ^
Spartans are so stupid they bring spoons to the bowl games.
October 14th, 2018 at 9:24 PM ^
Q. What is the difference between the spartan football team and Cheerios?
A. Cheerios deserves to be in a bowl.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:37 PM ^
How about we just beat them and leave it at that...
October 14th, 2018 at 8:41 PM ^
Nah...
Sparty is so stupid he TP's his television when he hears the game is on "paper view."
October 14th, 2018 at 9:27 PM ^
We won't actually be beating anyone. We won't line up across from anyone on the line of scrimmage, we won't catch any passes, make any blocks or tackle any ball carriers. For 99.9% of us we won't even be at the game, we'll be screaming at a TV needlessly. It doesn't matter what we do or say, it won't make a difference on the field so lets just enjoy this shit.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:40 PM ^
I’m always down for a good joke, but the best one will write itself; a picture of Dantonio’s face on Saturday afternoon.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:41 PM ^
What do you call a group of Spartan fans on your lawn?
Fertilizer
(I bet you haven't heard that once before, Don)
October 14th, 2018 at 8:42 PM ^
Things Spartan fans hate as much as Michigan:
1) Protecting women
2) Protecting dogs
3) Integrity
4) Class
October 14th, 2018 at 9:25 PM ^
....and
5) Cold couches.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:55 PM ^
Knock knock
Who's there?
Sparty
Fuck off
October 14th, 2018 at 9:47 PM ^
Okay, I laughed out loud at that one.
October 14th, 2018 at 8:56 PM ^
Sparty is so stupid he's still sitting at the stop sign waiting for it to turn green.
October 14th, 2018 at 9:22 PM ^
See, for me, Saturday needs to be Harbaugh and Michigan finally looking Dantonio in the face and....