Hoke's presser: over/under for certain words

Have we already forgotten about the promised improvement in ball boys?

I'll take the over on Denard.

Needs to said at least once.

there won't be a bunch of coulds and mights.

Will the press conf be on tv?

"decided schematic advantage" since I've never even seen/heard those words used together before. 

I hope to god it's the under on that.  There's just no need to justify what he's going to do by taking veiled shots at the old coach.  Just move on, no need to insinuate anything about Rodriguez.

Don't want to make a new thread for this, but should we expect Fred Jackson to stay on as RBs coach?  Seems like a no-brainer unless I'm missing something.

The first thing I want to hear him says is:

 

"Randy Shannon will be brought on as our Defensive Coordinator"

"Midwestern football" o/u 1.5 times

I want to thank Dave Brandon, Mary Sue Coleman and Michigan’s trustees for giving me the chance to fulfill my dream. I was here when we won a national championship in 1997. Those were great days, and I told all of the players on this Michigan team that we all should want that spirt to return to the Big House. And it’s going to take lots of hard work to get there.

I’ve called every one of Coach Rodriguez’s recruits – including those who’ve said they’d be going elsewhere if Coach Rodriguez or Coach Harbaugh or Coach Miles or anyone else other than Brady Hoke wasn’t going to be coaching here in 2011. I’ve let each and every one of them know that Michigan still wants them, and the staff I’m putting together and I will do all we can to make sure that they’ll be successful on and off the field at Michigan.

I also know that Coach Rodriguez built a team to run a spread offense and that his offense was on the rise, so I’m not planning to do anything more with that system now other than a little bit of tinkering. As far as I’m concerned, Denard Robinson should’ve been in New York at the Heisman ceremony last month, and he is the best person to run the Michigan offense in 2011. So, next season I’m planning to run whatever offense will allow Denard and Devin Gardner to be comfortable and successful.

I’m well aware that I was way down the list of people that most of you wanted to see in this position, so I know that I have my work cut out for me. That’s why I’m going to cut this press conference short and go straight to work. You’ll have to forgive me for not planning to hold any more press conferences before National Signing Day, but I just don’t have enough time for that. We have lots of work to do.

Before I forget, there’s just one more thing. As for Michigan’s defense, I’ve spoken to all of the players who’ve said that they will be coming back in the fall, and I’ve told them that every position on defense is now open to competition. I expect and I’ve demanded big changes. And to all those people who said that when Michigan hired me, it was all over, I say, "Over? Was it over when Nebraska kicked us all over the field in 1997?" (Nebraska?) Yeah, don’t stop me now. I’m on a roll.

What happened to the Michigan defense I used to know? Where's the spirit? Where's the guts, huh? This should be the greatest defense in the country, but Coach Rodriguez hired some guy who made it the worst. "Ooh, we're afraid to go with a system that we’ve never run before, we might get in trouble." Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I'm not gonna take this. Greg Robinson, he's a dead man! Tony Gibson, dead! Whoever the hell was supposed to run the special teams, dead!

See ya.

Cheetos 2.5

The more Dave Brandon talks, the more I hate him. Apparently a nationwide search only consists of 5 cities, weird.

What the hell is he thanking everyone for? Did he just win an Oscar?