Article on Ian Miskelley Suicide
UofM swimmer Ian Miskelley committed suicide earlier this month. Here is an article about his story and his battle with depression.
I knew Ian and he was very kind to other people, but you could see his depression.
It is good to get help if you are depressed.
September 17th, 2020 at 9:08 AM ^
This is so tough. Wish he'd been able to find help. Some people get lucky and do find the help they need. Others don't.
September 17th, 2020 at 9:12 AM ^
Such a great kid with a bright future, such a sad end to a beautiful story
September 17th, 2020 at 9:23 AM ^
The toll on mental health that 2020 takes on the general population won't be realized for a while. I hope anybody struggling will be able to find support around them.
RIP Ian. You will be missed but your story will hopefully help others find strength.
September 17th, 2020 at 9:48 AM ^
^^^ Truth
September 17th, 2020 at 9:24 AM ^
What a guy and sad to hear.
If I ever feel depressed, I'm getting some help.
September 17th, 2020 at 1:54 PM ^
To be honest, if 2020 hasn't caused at least some depression already, I congratulate you!
September 17th, 2020 at 9:25 AM ^
Also, just in case-
September 17th, 2020 at 9:28 AM ^
depression is a dark motherfucker
September 17th, 2020 at 9:52 AM ^
I don't know what it's going to take for us, as a society, to have collective compassion in a way that helps kids like Ian, and others that are struggling, get what they need. It's not so simple to just say "well, if they need help they should ask for it, or pull themselves up by their bootstraps and fix it!".
It just feels like we're walking further away from the opportunity to do this rather than get closer.
September 17th, 2020 at 10:01 AM ^
General healthcare is so expensive in this country, let alone mental healthcare. Add to it that teachers struggle with getting school supplies, let alone being equipped to handle all the mental, social, economic etc baggage that kids carry with them to school everyday.
Our priorities are all out of whack. It will get worse unless we decide it doesn't need to anymore.
September 17th, 2020 at 10:33 AM ^
It's not so simple to just say "well, if they need help they should ask for it, or pull themselves up by their bootstraps and fix it!"
Unfortunately, quite a few people still think this way. (A subset of that subset suddenly took a great interest in the possibility of suicides when COVID-19 restrictions were put in place. Interesting, that.)
Behavioral health as an idea has some natural enemies (some organized religions that will count this as a sin by Ian, Scientology, etc.). As well, it's somewhat in opposition to the shiny, happy, sales culture that pervades the USA. You know, "Just sweep it under the rug and smile, honey!"
September 17th, 2020 at 11:13 AM ^
I don't know why you're getting downvoted for this. It's exactly the mentality my parents have and it's terrifying.
September 17th, 2020 at 10:00 AM ^
The suicide rate's been going up for the past twenty years. All ages, all genders, all races. Anyone with feelings at all is a fucking mark these days.
"Aw what a precious snowflake"
"Fuck your feelings"
"No one gives a shit about you"
"LOL you should kill yourself"
etc., etc.
Don't anyone pretend they haven't read at least one of those lines within the last week. We are inundated with cruelty and that's gonna affect some people.
Poor kid grew up in a trash country full of trash people who make a jolly pastime of punching down. The suicide rate's going to keep climbing for the foreseeable future.
September 17th, 2020 at 10:06 AM ^
Last weekend was a commemoration of Avicci's (superstar DJ) bday and untimely death by suicide at 29. The entire dance/EDM community tried to spread the gospel of getting help and trying to reduce the stigma of depression/mental disease.
You're not alone and there are people out there who will help!
September 17th, 2020 at 10:07 AM ^
Depression is an awful and silent, behind the scenes sort of torture. The best thing to do is to seek help by talking to a professional, but that is much easier said than done. It important for all of us to check in on our friends and loved ones. It's as simple as asking if they're doing ok and let them know you're there to talk if they need you.
Beyond talking to a professional, ways we can all try to improve or stay on top of our own metal health:
Get enough sleep
Exercise
Eat a healthy diet
Get sun light
Do creative work (writing, painting, playing an instrument, etc.)
Prayer or meditation
Be social
September 17th, 2020 at 10:16 AM ^
Proper terminology is "died by suicide". Article from 2018: https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/why-mental-health-advocates-use-words-died-suicide-ncna880546
Main takeaway:
What exactly is the problem? Partly it’s in the language. Asking “how someone could do this” puts responsibility on the victim, just as the phrase “committed suicide” suggests an almost criminal intent. Depression and other mental illnesses are leading risk factors for suicide. This is why mental health advocates usually employ the term “died by suicide,” as it removes culpability from the person who has lost their life and allows a discussion about the disease or disorder from which they were suffering.
September 17th, 2020 at 10:43 AM ^
I'm sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing the article.
September 17th, 2020 at 11:11 AM ^
God rest his soul and God bless the family.
September 17th, 2020 at 11:30 AM ^
It's not just good to get help, it's imperative. Mental illness is brutal. We all need the support of others - often more than we realize.
I saw the link posted above. Here's the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
800-273-8255
And as friends or colleagues of someone who may be going through a tough stretch, don't be bashful about asking people how they're doing and be prepared to listen.
September 17th, 2020 at 11:31 AM ^
Actually sounds like he was doing his best to handle his depression and then just got waylaid by so much. Feel awful for him and his family. This is why when someone like Skip Bayless talks dismissively about depression it's so dangerous - it marginalizes an illness and turns it into a character flaw, which it decidedly isn't.
Hopefully his family can find some relief in knowing that he truly wanted to be happy and loved them.
September 17th, 2020 at 11:54 AM ^
Well it's a flaw like any injury or illness is a flaw. No one wants depression. (Edit: OK I noticed you wrote character flaw. We're on the same page there.)
People just don't want to deal with it. So they establish this expectation that the mentally ill fix themselves. Eat better, get exercise, meditate, seek professional help, etc. Except you need a properly functioning brain to do any of that. Football player goes down with a gruesome leg injury and he's carted off the field. What we don't do (unless you're unambiguously the stupidest fool in the stadium) is go "LOL he needs to get himself to a hospital" like he's supposed to fucking walk on his own fucked-up leg in the meantime. But that level of insane stupidity is exactly how we deal with the mentally ill. Seek professional help? A brain that loathes its own existence to the point of literally contemplating its own destruction is not going to do that! Suicide hotlines are nice but they're not the quick-fix everyone assumes them to be. At best they're like ambulances -- I don't dispute they're absolutely necessary, but we also still like things like seat belts and fire extinguishers and helmets to prevent problems from getting to the point of, "Gosh, I hope the cavalry arrives in time." But for mental health? Eh, it's easier to just be sad when the inevitable happens.
But also, to keep beating this far-from-dead horse, it seems as if people in this country experience great pleasure in making others feeling as terrible as possible. I mean, help is always nice but a band-aid and a morphine shot only go so far if no one's doing anything about the goddamn machine gun nests.
September 17th, 2020 at 11:54 AM ^
I was going to post something about Skip here. His comments were incredibly insensitive, uneducated, disgusting and is part of the reason why a stigma around mental health exists.
Depression is an awful thing to live with and it usually gets worse by the hour, dark thoughts pinging around your head getting louder and louder until it’s the only thing you can hear.
The “old time attitude” of “suck it up and bury it” costs lives every day and while many positive things have come into play about how we deal with and the importance of mental health, not until the stigma is eradicated, will it truly be enough.
Talking to, confiding in people close to you and even strangers is nothing that any person should fear or made to feel inferior about at all.
I am completely heartbroken for Ian, his family and his friends.
September 17th, 2020 at 12:14 PM ^
When your thoughts over-power you, and you are trapped in your own mind, and feel like you are drowning with nothing to grasp onto, and you can't connect with anything or anyone outside of you...
Just remember, despite all evidence to the contrary, this world needs you, and you belong with the living. Keep fighting and remember others have been there too, and we are all in this together.
September 17th, 2020 at 10:15 PM ^
This is a great article, with such an important message about depression. It’s such a complex condition.
I feel so sad for this kid. I have depression and have been in the dark depths where it feels like there is no other way out. I have attempted suicide and very nearly checked out earlier this year (I was set to go and had even laid out the clothes to bury me in). I wish there was a magic wand or pill that could solve this.
It seems like there is a better dialogue than there used to be, which is great. I wish there wasn’t such a long way to go, but maybe it won’t take as long as I think. Articles like this, and dialogues like this, can only help.