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2009 Michigan Football Drinking Game
For the record, a “drink” for me is generally a hearty gulp of whatever you happen to have on hand. For me, this week, this means Beck’s Oktoberfest, New Amsterdam Gin, Sailor Jerry Navy Rum, Goldschlager, and an awful well tequila only used if things get really, really bad. Here are the ground rules:
1 Drink for:
- Any mention of the practice limits “scandal”. This is a recent event, so I figure it will be mentioned quite a bit. Our livers are not in midseason form yet, so 1 drink it is.
- Any mention of the 2008 season coinciding with a mention like “historically bad” or “first losing season in a long time” or an annoying snarky remark like “they aren’t used to seasons like that in Ann Arbor.” Again, probably a frequent thing, don’t want to drown ourselves in booze just yet, etc.
- Any video segment about the construction upgrades to the Big House. Not a bad thing, but worth drinking to since it will undoubtedly happen.
- We lose the coin flip. Hey, why not.
2 Drinks for:
- A fumbled punt or kickoff return. Self explanatory, hold on to the goddamn ball please.
- A screen pass/lateral thrown backwards.
- Fumbled snap.
- An opposing field goal.
- Any mention of Denard playing without shoelaces.
3 Drinks for:
- Any mention of the scandals of yesteryear: paper shredding, family values, etc.
- Any comparison between UM and WVU.
- Any mention of Notre Dame. Just because I hate them. Even more than OSU, although I know that’s not common. Switch the two if you feel the reverse.
4 Drinks for:
- An opposing touchdown.
- Any Michigan injury. Goes double if it’s Brandon Graham.
Angry Shots for:
- Nick Sheridan entering the game. Even if only in a Darko-like victory cigar capacity, I still need to calm my nerves when this happens
That’s what I’ll be drinking to every week. I obviously tend to drink to calm anger during games.
WMU specific rules:
I don’t really hate WMU with any passion, but I can think of a few things I will be drinking to this game:
1 Drink for:
- Any mention of the distance between Kalamazoo and Ann Arbor (~100 miles)
- If you see anyone you graduated high school with who is still enrolled at Western for a 5th+ year. I do know several.
Chug Until Vomit for:
- Actually losing to WMU. We really, really need to win this game.
Leave any revision suggestions or ideas for Notre Dame specific rules in the comments. Happy drinking. Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 st1\:*{behavior:url(#ieooui) } /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0in; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;}
Let me get this straight;
Denard doesn't tie his shoes? Is THAT why they call him "Shoelaces"?
I can't wait to see 'shoelaces' bust one on a read option...
you might want to add 1 drink for mention of WV of any kind. or MSU's tour of the MAC over the next 10 years
Speaking of MAC, does Toledo count as it's own entry?
not sure it will be up to the discretion of the drinker, my original intent was for the michigan mac teams but it could be expanded depending on the context of the statement.
You totally omitted the Horror.
EDIT:
Other ideas that I'll update as I think of them.:
- mentions of Boise State over Oregon or the Blount incident
Alright yeah, Appy State will be added in next week. Knew I forgot something.
Also probably adding any video montage of M coaches to the one drink category
1 drink for interception, 3 and out, and everytime they show a past michigan player on the sideline.
"UM could be playing Ryan Mallett right now, but..."
Hopefully, this won't come up because it will mean our qb's are inept.
it's a new season, can we have some optimistic rules (especially since drinking can be a rewarding, celebratory experience, and not just a cathartic, demon-purging one - last year excepted of course)?
In that vein, suggestions:
1 drink anytime a freshman makes a tackle, x2 if for a loss, x3 for a sack (we're going to need them this year) - and x1 for a broken up pass
Anytime Shaw or Martavious breaks a tackle x2, or anytime Minor goes around a defender rather than through him.
Any one-handed grab drink
Any pancake block drink
Anytime Zoltan takes off with the ball, immediately start drinking, don't stop until the plays dies (so be ready on punts) - and if any high stepping is involved cap your drinking with a from-the-bottle swig of tequila (I will be drinking Cofradia, so an easier commitment from me).
Obvious stuff like scores, forced turnovers, sacks, hell first downs if you like can obviously be mandated drinks as well.
You've got some winners in there (eg., one-handed grab, Zoltan punting) but with the rest of your suggestions, I predict a stomach pumping.
Either that, or you're Irish. Slainte!
We're all going to be dead by halftime.