Onion Article on Penn State
Awesome Onion article about Penn State!
http://www.theonion.com/article/rest-nation-penn-state-something-very-w…
September 23rd, 2016 at 4:31 PM ^
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September 23rd, 2016 at 4:33 PM ^
September 23rd, 2016 at 4:58 PM ^
I think the satire at the Onion is lacking. I agree with everything they say. Fuck Penn State.
September 23rd, 2016 at 5:00 PM ^
September 23rd, 2016 at 8:36 PM ^
September 24th, 2016 at 12:09 AM ^
Hindsight being 20-20, this is a proper Onion article:
http://www.mcall.com/news/breaking/mc-sandusky-final-game-121299-story.html
Fun fact, Michigan defeated PSU in Sandusky's final home game before he retired at the end of the 1999 season.
September 24th, 2016 at 3:03 AM ^
September 23rd, 2016 at 5:02 PM ^
The only difference between that article being satire and truth is that they didn't take the time to actually interview millions of people to get real quotes
September 23rd, 2016 at 11:06 PM ^
Did they really have to? With a small sample size of Non-PSUers, it would be pretty obvious after a handfull of interviews. Fuck Penn State.
September 23rd, 2016 at 5:06 PM ^
Deep down most Onion articles are more on point than any other news source, just in a Stephen Colbert, John Oliver or SNL type of mockery of the entire subject.
September 23rd, 2016 at 10:23 PM ^
but the sad thing is that the joepa lovers in happy valley in their own twisted way would use this onion satire to validate their point that the rest of us misunderstand all the greatness he stood for.
BTW, FUCK penn state and all their delusional joepa loving fans!!!
September 23rd, 2016 at 11:12 PM ^
September 23rd, 2016 at 7:14 PM ^
That's the point...some realities need no irony
September 24th, 2016 at 9:48 AM ^
September 23rd, 2016 at 4:34 PM ^
“Watching you guys carry on like this is extremely sad and, frankly, totally embarrassing to the rest of us. We really hope you seek out counseling or therapy, because you’ve clearly got some issues.”
“You need help—professional help,” Rowland added. “All of you.”
Reached for comment, the Penn State community responded to the nation by shouting “S-T-A-T-E! Go! State!”
September 24th, 2016 at 1:45 AM ^
Come on, Onion, We know they'd actually do their stupid response cheer:
"WE ARE"
"TONE DEAF"
September 23rd, 2016 at 4:37 PM ^
just posted this to FB, and said it was actually reality in spite of the sourse
September 23rd, 2016 at 4:35 PM ^
This is easily the least satirical article The Onion has ever ran. It is spot on.
September 23rd, 2016 at 5:08 PM ^
September 23rd, 2016 at 4:37 PM ^
http://www.theonion.com/article/6-day-visit-to-rural-african-village-co…
I know so many people to whom this would apply...
September 23rd, 2016 at 4:51 PM ^
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September 23rd, 2016 at 6:57 PM ^
September 23rd, 2016 at 4:53 PM ^
September 23rd, 2016 at 7:35 PM ^
if serious.
September 23rd, 2016 at 4:59 PM ^
Americans went on to say that it would take an extremely sick and troubled mind to read the findings in the Freeh Report and then somehow disagree with Paterno’s immediate firing, while furthermore still believing in restoring his 111 victories confiscated by the NCAA.
I've been saying this for a long time, but the Onion definitely said it better here than anyone has to my knowledge, and the whole article is gold, pure gold.
Well done, Onion.
September 23rd, 2016 at 5:06 PM ^
I know of people with PhDs from Penn State -- otherwise politically savvy, responsible, highly functioning adults who for whatever reason believe that Joe Paterno's legacy should not be tarnished by his affiliation with Jerry Sandusky. It boggles my mind. And his name is all over that campus. It really does cast a pallor over everything there.
September 23rd, 2016 at 6:35 PM ^
Someone really needs to perform a detailed psychoanalysis of that fan base. I know otherwise sensible, intelligent, articulate Penn State alumni who, whenever the subject of Joe Paterno or the Sandusky scandal comes up, retreat into this alternate universe where the near-universal scorn of Joe Paterno and Penn State's handling of that episode (universal outside of Central Pennsylvania, anyway) is the product of a conspiracy/witch hunt against Penn State borne out of jealousy over Joe Paterno's accomplishments. They really, genuinely seem to believe this. It's totally bizarre.
September 23rd, 2016 at 7:37 PM ^
the opprobrium deserved. And it enrages me that they continue to celebrate the guy. But it's also true to say that that school is the merest cow college without Paterno.
September 24th, 2016 at 3:08 AM ^
September 24th, 2016 at 7:12 AM ^
indictment of the fans/alumni blind support of their team. On a much lesser scale, did OSU abandon Jim Tressel? Would they have even if he was in the same spot as Paterno? I can't believe that could have gone on at UM.
On Sandusky, if he had raped girls, how long would he have lasted? Would Paterno turn a blind eye to that? Was it a lesser offense to rape boys?
September 23rd, 2016 at 10:33 PM ^
September 23rd, 2016 at 5:03 PM ^
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September 23rd, 2016 at 5:03 PM ^
what's a pederast, Walter?
September 23rd, 2016 at 5:10 PM ^
September 23rd, 2016 at 5:12 PM ^
If your immediate response to the thought of Joe Paterno is anything other than ‘Forget what he did as a football coach; that guy is a despicable human being, and I never want to see or hear that piece of shit’s name anywhere on the Penn State campus ever again,’ then you’ve totally lost your grasp of right and wrong
September 23rd, 2016 at 5:22 PM ^
the psu fan base are the worst at making fun of jim harbaugh, calling into question his character and basically questioning his motives as a human being.
i guess it makes them feel better to show someone else in a bad light, but they should be the last ones to go on witch hunts when bad things really went on there.
September 23rd, 2016 at 5:28 PM ^
When did Pennlive change its name to The Onion?
September 23rd, 2016 at 5:43 PM ^
September 24th, 2016 at 3:11 AM ^
September 23rd, 2016 at 5:45 PM ^
"Not once in those 40 years did my father know what Sandusky was doing because when he wasn't coaching practices, he was away reading to blind orphans."
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September 23rd, 2016 at 5:53 PM ^
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September 23rd, 2016 at 6:04 PM ^
Love it!
September 23rd, 2016 at 6:12 PM ^
One of the rare instances where you genuinely cannot make this up. The truth of the matter is ironic by itself.
I had *some* sympathy while Bill O'Brien was there and they seemed interested in healing from top to bottom and inside and out, but they've taken several steps back since.
September 23rd, 2016 at 6:49 PM ^
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September 23rd, 2016 at 7:10 PM ^
Pretty sure it is a cult, and they're wasted on Joe Pa Kool Aid.
September 23rd, 2016 at 7:31 PM ^
He didn't expressly mention the cult, but he definitely alluded to it:
"You can print this: you can print that I don’t really give a [expletive] what the ‘Paterno people’ think about what I do with this program... For any 'Paterno person’ to have any objection to what I’m doing, it makes me wanna put my fist through this windshield right now... That’s why, in probably about a month, they’re gonna be [expletive] looking for a new coach."
September 23rd, 2016 at 9:40 PM ^
September 23rd, 2016 at 7:01 PM ^
Purge 'em ... Purge PSU
September 23rd, 2016 at 7:13 PM ^
Pretty much says it all