OT: Three things about English Premier League coming up to the World Cup break
I have three (3) things to say as we approach the World Cup break:
1) Arsenal is in first place. I hate Arsenal. Everyone hates Arsenal. They're like that annoying cousin who's been given everything their whole boring-ass, conceited life. No class, no actual talent. All they're good at is talking about some shitty European watch they insist on showing every f*cking person when the fact is, they didn't buy that watch for themselves. They were given that hunk of European spunk by their dad who, himself, is 60-f*cking years old and still thinks Members Only jackets are coming back.
B) My team, Wolverhampton Wanderers, is tied for last f*cking place out of 20 teams. That's right - last out of 20. They're "my" team because my inbred cousins were accidentally born on the wrong side of Birmingham UK and didn't have the god-damned sense to move a few lousy towns east to root for a proper club like Aston Villa or Man City. They're morons, but they're my morons. And what they lack in dental hygiene, they more than make up for with the most savage fan chats, including my particular favorite which makes a delightful suggestion as to where the nice people of West Bromwich Albion (the next town over) can go.
iii) My team is in the "relegation' zone. Which is to say -- get your shit together soon because you're currently one of the three at the bottom of the standings, and come season's end, you're gonna drop down to the next lower league which, last I checked, included such football-boners as "Wigan Athletic" and "Middlesbrough." Middlesbrough is akin to playing Kansas State. You're aware they have a club, but the only thing inspiring about that place is that someone famous once had a cousin who came from there, and I think the beer you drank in college was produced a county over. Also, you're pretty sure Miss America came from there a few years back because, as we all know, the more inbred you are -- the more likely you are to eventually produce something beautiful. This is a very long-winded way to say, I think American sports should also have relegation.
October 24th, 2022 at 3:29 PM ^
Twice. I had two mentions of inbreeding. I went back and counted. Yep, twice. Twice is not "several" you latte-sipping nancy. I hope you trip on a sidewalk crack in front of dozens of people and then play it off like you meant to trip like that, but on the inside -- you know what they're all thinking about you.
October 24th, 2022 at 3:41 PM ^
Take it easy Francis.
October 24th, 2022 at 3:45 PM ^
I read it as 67% of your bullet points mentioned inbreeding. Then extrapolated that out to all communication in your life and thusly assume that, yes, you have a terribly unhealthy obsession.
you should see someone about that
October 24th, 2022 at 3:20 PM ^
My EPL fandom is generally the same as my NFL fandom (being a long suffering Lions "fan"), which is to say like rooting for Wolverines in the NFL, I can only root for clubs with USMNT players. I am envious of those of you who have dye-in-the-wool teams you support - I tried having an "adopted" EPL club but it was too forced. Alas, I got nothing.
I don't get the Arsenal hate. To me, they seem a bit like Liverpool where their team is made up majority of academy kids with the occasional big signing (a la the modern day transfer portal). Versus a team like Man U which to me is more akin to the NY Yankee model.
Agree with relegation. It just makes everything that much more local and connected, because individual community economics rise and fall based on how well their football club is doing. It also leads to really unique things like Burnley - population 79k - being in the EPL. That's less than the population of Ann Arbor. It also gives you multiple teams within a town - like Liverpool and Everton being a mile apart from each other. No other sport in the world can do that. And you can't tank half way through the year. Imagine how much that would fix when you're fighting to stay up in a league, versus quitting so you can get the better draft pick.
October 24th, 2022 at 3:29 PM ^
I don't get the Arsenal hate. [...] Versus a team like Man U which to me is more akin to the NY Yankee model.
Nailed it.
Right down to the Glazers owning the team.
Maybe all that inbreeding is affecting OP's worldview.
October 24th, 2022 at 4:01 PM ^
Greetings from SW London. My four cents:
1. Kudos 608Monroe for carrying the Word across the Atlantic: fuck Arsenal.
2. Arsenal (Man U may be in the same boat) is the OSU of the EPL. Fuck both. Comparing Arsenal to UoM is an insult. Fuck that. Sending Peaky Blinders to set the record straight…
3. Liverpool fan here. Not a great year, but YNWA and all that.
4. I will not be watching the World Cup this year. Love the sport, but this became an industry of death – look it up, not preaching.
Other than that, this week, let us all have a place in our prayers to the poor defenseless couches of East Lansing. Fuck Staaaeee. Go Blue. And fuck Arsenal and OSU.
October 24th, 2022 at 4:15 PM ^
We need relegation in the Big Ten. We lose Michigan State and Indiana next year, we gain Grand Valley and Ferris State.
October 24th, 2022 at 4:32 PM ^
Wolverhampton better call Sam Allardyce - if he isn't subbing in for the PM down at 10 Downing Street, he's your man to prevent relegation.
Fun fact: Allardyce has the best record of all English managers (100% 1-0) - he led the 3 Lions to one victory before being sacked in a bungs scandal.
https://www.theguardian.com/media/2006/sep/20/broadcasting.bbc2
October 24th, 2022 at 4:39 PM ^
Fuck Arsenal indeed, that 3-1 result by United over Arsenal last month was glorious. After the disastrous start to the season two games in, pretty satisfied with how United has played in the PL since. They need to get rid of Ronaldo in the Dec window though.
October 24th, 2022 at 6:51 PM ^
Probably the only glorious moment ManU will have this season given how things are going :)
October 24th, 2022 at 4:57 PM ^
Logged on for the first time in a while just to say - COME ON YOU GUNNERS!
October 24th, 2022 at 4:59 PM ^
LOVE this post! Really captures the passion of European soccer fans.
Interestingly enough, I don't think relegation can work in American professional sports at all. Owners would never approve it.
BUT it absolutely can (and should) work in college sports, starting with football. Imagine:
- 32-38(ish) teams in CFB "Championship" Division
- Bluebloods guaranteed never to be relegated (probably about 16 teams)
- Rotating schedules with protected rivalries, but no divisions or conferences
- 16-team playoff after 12-game season
- Four lowest-ranked teams at the end of the season are relegated
- Four highest-ranked teams of the rest of FBS-1A are promoted
A similar system could work for college basketball and most college sports.
October 24th, 2022 at 8:39 PM ^
We're at a unique crossroads in college football to make the relegation system happen. I know it won't happen, but what a delicious change it would be for the college football landscape.
October 24th, 2022 at 5:03 PM ^
I used to kinda like Kansas State up until that one Cactus Bowl (which I think was called the Citrus Bowl for sponsorhip reasons). But then I blamed that on Hoke so I forgave them/forgot about them. Michael Bishop was cool back when.
So yea, go Wigan I guess? Although the wandering wolverines of hampton do seem to have a cool symbol and mascot.
October 24th, 2022 at 5:22 PM ^
Props to Nottingham Forrest for the win of the week beating Liverpool, especially for outstanding GK Dean Henderson who was spotted showing the middle finger allegedly to a group of visiting fans from Merseyside.
The Chelsea - Man Utd match was a also terrific tactical match. Good week for the EPL.
October 24th, 2022 at 5:41 PM ^
I'm not gonna care about the Premier League until Wrexham makes it up there. So like in 5 or 10 years, right?
October 24th, 2022 at 5:52 PM ^
Manchester City - exists. O.P. - "Fuck Arsenal!"
October 24th, 2022 at 6:09 PM ^
Not so sure about 'everyone hates Arsenal'. Based on 12+ years of following Liverpool, I would say that LFC fans' typical order of resentment of other EPL teams is 1. Man United, 2. Everton, (gap), 3. Man City, 4. Chelsea, 5. Tottenham, 6. Arsenal. LFC fans will make fun of Arsenal when they lose and thought Arsene Wenger was often annoying, but I haven't seen much real hostility.
October 24th, 2022 at 6:41 PM ^
No reason this Wolves roster should be flirting with relegation. Had bad luck with injuries to strikers, but there's enough quality in the roster to finish midtable. Real shame what has happened.
October 24th, 2022 at 6:58 PM ^
Arsenal has no talent? You have your head up your arse. Saka. Probably the best English RW. Saliba, the best young CB in the in the PL. Martinelli. Kid is a nightmare for defenses. I don’t need to continue. Can’t wait until the Gunners poach Neves from your team as well.
October 24th, 2022 at 7:00 PM ^
And Everton decidedly in the very middle of the pack as always. One day my faint American-EPL-fan fandom of Everton will pay off. And if it doesn't, whatev.
October 24th, 2022 at 9:14 PM ^
That's how I got involved:
Tim Howard.
October 24th, 2022 at 7:23 PM ^
I saw Aston Villa lose a Championship League match to my beloved Millwall four years ago, so I am not sure Villa is a club to emulate.
That is one of the weird things about relegation from the EPL, that you get to hear guys on the BBC with their British accents proclaim "after a ghastly season on the pitch, Team X are headed to the Championship."
October 24th, 2022 at 7:29 PM ^
Just here to say COYG
October 24th, 2022 at 8:36 PM ^
Wolves fan here. My passionate fandom is only 2 years old, but I look forward to watching every Wolves match (I upgraded my Peacock subscription so I wouldn't miss a game). Getting gutted 4-0 by Leicester was so demoralizing. A normally responsible defensive club has been extremely bad in the last few matches. Are we missing Coady? Is the uncertain coaching situation causing a rosterwide implosion? I don't know. But I have to say that the relegation battle keeps things interesting for the shitty teams. Every. Point. Matters.
Wolves' roster is still littered with talent. Demotion with this roster would be a real kick in the nuts.
Somewhat relatedly, I was thinking of dressing up as an oiled up Adama Traore for Halloween.
October 24th, 2022 at 9:34 PM ^
But how does this effect the most important team in UK football history, the Wrexham Red Dragons?
October 24th, 2022 at 10:14 PM ^
We all have reasons why we follow the teams we do. Doubt many of us are actually from England so it probably has nothing to do with our "local team". I remember over a decade ago now waking up on Saturday mornings and thinking it was really cool that I could watch live sports on ESPN to the dulcet tones of Ian Darke and Steve McManaman. The team that was the most enjoyable for me to watch was Manchester City and I have been a fan ever since. We have our ups and downs like everyone else, but happy to admit that we have more ups than downs.
I've always been curious about the "Mideast Oil" hate. Seems similar to me to the American owner hate which seems to be in vogue right now. What I do care about is the product on the screen and I wish more teams were more aesthetically enjoyable to watch. Interestingly, there are other teams that spend more than we do, both over time and in recent years. One of them seems pretty happy to just be in 6th or wherever they are at these days. It really has as much to do with how the money is spent and whether the team can develop an identity. We don't get all of the players. We don't even get all the players we want (e.g. Cucarella). But we do buy players which fit our system/identity. When they are not happy, we do our best to move them on (e.g. Jesus, Sterling, Zinchenko, Aguerro, etc.) I like all of that about how we are run.
The Mideast Oil hate just seems like a lazy take much like the Bagman take before and the NIL take now. Look at the Aggies, for instance. They provide recruits all the money they can, but they still have to play games. There are many factors that go into winning. At the end of the day, City plays a brand of soccer that I enjoy watching and I think Pep is a great coach. But we still lose to the Livers at Anfield every year. We all have our ups and downs.
In sum, F State. Go Blue!!!
October 24th, 2022 at 11:27 PM ^
Anfield is a bogey place for us. I think Pep overthought that one and went against what they do so effectively. At the end of the day, it’s one loss, and they will be up there fighting for another title. They just play so well and guys like Bernardo are tireless out there. KDB is the best midfielder and Haaland is on another planet.
October 25th, 2022 at 3:14 PM ^
The oil money is different because they're financial institutions of foreign states, not like the Kroenkes or the Dildo brothers. Yes (foreign) billionaires own EPL clubs, but oil clubs have a completely different risk profile for their investments. If Arsenal makes a big splash signing and it doesn't work out, they're fucked - not so with state oil clubs. It's true City hasn't outspent everyone, but they're a mature, deep club with strict management and they don't need to.
City is easy to dislike because of this but I think people don't really hate them like they do Man U or Spuds or Arsenal. City is kind of like Bama - you respect them and how great they are, you wish they would go away but you know they won't for the foreseeable future. They're just inevitable.
October 24th, 2022 at 10:24 PM ^
My team won the title in dramatic fashion yesterday. So I can watch the WC with zero concern for the implications for the domestic title. #Daleboca
October 24th, 2022 at 11:23 PM ^
I’ve been a man city fan for 20 years. Im having a good time!!
October 25th, 2022 at 9:30 AM ^
Root for Derby County for 45 years and then get back to me.
October 25th, 2022 at 10:03 AM ^
Quatar - What a natural location for a global soccer event - only the most important event every four years.