game columns

[Paul Sherman]

11/18/2023 – Michigan 31, Maryland 24 – 11-0, 8-0 Big Ten

Michigan got up 23-3; they'd paved Maryland on a couple touchdown drives, forced a fumble out of Taulia Tagovailoa for a touchdown, and blocked a punt. Hooray, another one of these games, can we please fast forward to next weekend. I no longer want football to be happening, because Roman Wilson has already exited this game and there is no reason to continue this exhibition before the main event.

Then the other football game happened. You know, the one before Ohio State where everyone wants to fast forward to The Game but the opponent will not cooperate and Michigan gets stuck in a slog. This one wasn't as bad as last year's Fiesta Del Field Goals against Illinois, but happy sim-to-end thoughts got replaced by grimmer ones as Michigan kept losing players and Maryland kept hanging around. There was a terrifying targeting review on Mason Graham that would have knocked him out of the first half of The Game; Myles Hinton ended up screaming very loud on camera after he got his knee rolled up on; Sherrone Moore tried one deep shot that McCarthy missed and otherwise went right to the book of Lloyd Carr Blown Leads.

Michigan did not blow the lead, instead deciding to repeatedly sack Taulia Tagovailoa until Tagovailoa freaked out and threw it to no one while standing in the endzone, and the trap game ended without much more than mild annoyance from the Michigan fans that made up a large majority of the crowd.

Now: death, fire, and doom.

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The most important Game of all time is always this one, but this is the most important Game of all time.

Michigan has been beset by wildly exaggerated claims of malfeasance based on Connor Stalions going great lengths to get things that you can get just by asking Rutgers. Jim Harbaugh has been suspended via a ludicrous legal theory that he can be punished for acts he did not commit or know about because he "embodies the university." Ohio State fans are weeping on Twitter that Ryan Day should be forgiven because Michigan's dastardly acts invalidate consecutive three-touchdown beatdowns. They are crossing out all the Ms in their tweets except one.

You are probably aware that this has been the most irritating, enraging, and insane month in the history of my—and likely your—tenure as a Michigan fan. The non-stop chirping from people who couldn't figure out how to change a lightbulb even if Stalions gave them detailed instructions has changed a joyous, national-championship-contending season into a descent into paranoia.

That fact that all of this is bullshit will never register with the people who do not already realize all of this is bullshit. Pretty much every single former player who isn't a rival has dismissed this as penny-ante crap, but you still have the media howlers howling about banning Michigan—Blake Corum and JJ McCarthy and Mike Sainristil and Mike Barrett—from the playoff.

There is only one way to shut it all up: win. Ryan Day's successfully disrupted the Michigan football program but now he's out of excuses. Michigan has your signs? That's on you at this point. You can't beat Sherrone Moore? Not a great look, Coach Just For Men. Lose, and the ridiculous narrative that sign-stealing was the main reason Michigan won by three touchdowns in consecutive years will never die.

Only one team's getting out of this alive. That is barely a metaphor.

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

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[David Wilcomes]

you're the man now, dog-2535ac8789d1b499[1]

#1 Mike Sainristil. Two interceptions will do it, yeah. The first was particularly critical, coming just as Maryland was getting momentum and threatening to drive for the lead. Tagovailoa got him a couple times but Sainristil nearly had a third INT, but for Tagovailoa throwing his late ball late enough that Sainristil could only bring it in out of bounds.

#2(T) Kenneth Grant and Mason Graham. Graham was the main motive force on various pressures. His explosion is the driver on stunts; he clears people out so badly that loopers have a truck lane to jet through. Grant, meanwhile, continues to come into his own as a truck-sized human who is supernaturally fast. Both guys tied for second on the team in tackles, as defensive tackles. Four points each.

#3 Tommy Doman. 47 yards an attempt, a long of 58, and the Punt Of The Year? Get in here, buddy.

Honorable mention: Mike Barrett punched out the fumble that Derrick Moore grabbed for a touchdown; Cam Goode got consistent QB pressure. Colston Loveland had two crucial catches and blocked well. Blake Corum did Blake Corum things.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

45: JJ McCarthy (#1 ECU, #1 UNLV, #2 Rutgers, HM Nebraska, #2 Minn, #1 IU, #1 MSU, HM PUR, HM PSU)

23: Kris Jenkins (HM ECU, T2 UNLV, #1 BGSU, HM Rutgers, #1 Neb, HM MSU)

20: Mike Sainristil (T3 ECU, HM BGSU, #1 Rutgers, HM IU, HM MSU, #1 MD)

19: Blake Corum (HM ECU, HM UNLV, #2 BGSU, HM Rutgers, HM Neb, HM IU, #1 PSU, HM MD), Mason Graham (HM ECU, T2 UNLV, #1 Minn, HM IU, HM MSU, T2 MD)

15: Kenneth Grant (T3 ECU, T2 UNLV, #2 PSU, T2 MD)

14: Roman Wilson (T2 ECU, HM UNLV, HM BGSU, #3 Nebraska, #2 PUR)

13: Mike Barrett (HM UNLV, T3 Rutgers, #2 IU, T1 PUR, HM MD)

11: AJ Barner (HM BGSU, HM Neb, HM Minn, T3 IU, T2 MSU, HM PSU),

10: Braiden McGregor(T3 UNLV, #2 Nebraska, T1 PUR), Colston Loveland (HM Rutgers, T3 IU, T2 MSU, HM PUR, HM MD)

7: Cornelius Johnson (T2 ECU, HM UNLV, HM BGSU, HM Minn), Derrick Moore (T3 UNLV, HM Neb, HM MSU, T1 PUR), Will Johnson(#3 Minn, #3 PUR, HM PSU)

6: Junior Colson (#3 BGSU, T3 Rutgers, HM MSU), Jaylen Harrell (HM UNLV, HM BGSU, HM IU, T1 PUR)

4: Ernest Hausmann (T3 ECU, T3 Rutgers), Max Bredeson (HM Rutgers, HM Neb, T3 IU), Josiah Stewart (HM Minn, T1 PUR), The Offensive Line (HM Minn, #3 PSU), Tommy Doman (HM ECU, #3 MD)

2:  Josh Wallace (T3 ECU), Semaj Morgan (HM Rutgers, HM PUR), Donovan Edwards (HM ECU, HM PSU)

1: Tyler Morris (HM UNLV), Quinten Johnson (HM Rutgers), Kalel Mullings (HM Minn),Keon Sabb (HM Minn), Ben Hall (HM IU), Rod Moore (HM PUR), Rayshaun Benny (HM PSU), Cam Goode (HM MD)

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

Michigan's fourth quarter onslaught against Tagovailoa ends in an intentional grounding safety that closes the door on a regulation loss.

Honorable mention: Derrick Moore scores a defensive touchdown; Christian Boivin blocks a punt for a safety; Mike Sainristil intercepts two passes.

imageMARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK

Maryland gets down to the one and punches in a touchdown as Will Johnson is beat on a fade route. This is more about the Implications for next week, but the implications are there, being implied.

Honorable mention: JJ McCarthy throws two terrible passes in a row, the second of which is actually intercepted. This is also about next week vibes. Tagovailoa goes nuts in the third quarter before reverting back into the Tagovailoa pumpkin. Josh Wallace gets torched on a double move and is removed for the remainder.

NICK SAMAC PATHETIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEKsamac_thumb1

Hey! We made it through a game without issuing this! Woo!

Dishonorable mention: N/A

[After THE JUMP: BGSU revibes]
[Patrick Barron]

11/11/2023 – Michigan 24, Penn State 15 – 10-0, 7-0 Big Ten

Everyone I have talked to in the last two weeks has been furious. I have also been furious, of course, but other people have been so furious that I—me, myself—have been attempting to calm people down. I have asserted that the Big Ten would not wantonly screw Michigan out of a football game with refereeing; that maybe the guy who sounds like he's running a Taliban cell should take a step back; that leaving the Big Ten is an absurd—

…actually, no wait, I was just on WTKA asserting that leaving the Big Ten was now an eventual likelihood. I, too, have been overrun with the madness everyone else has been. And I'm just a guy on the internet.

Can you imagine being actually on the team swept up in all of this? For three weeks you've had various take-merchants descend upon this like so many deeply ignorant paratroopers. A select, deficient subset of these folks have asserted that Michigan shouldn't get to play in the CoFoPoff. I know what it's like to be a fan of this team and hear these things. I want to sink my incisors into Stephen A Smith's neck and raise his decapitated head to the skies as a trophy. How does Trevor Keegan feel, and how on God's green earth does he sit down in a stance before every play and not get a penalty for death-murder?

I do not know. 

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There's a great Andy Staples article in the aftermath of the 2017 Michigan-Penn State game—a 42-17 PSU demolition at the hands of Joe Moorhead and Saquon Barkley—that goes into great detail about the opening play. That was a 69-yard Barkley touchdown where Barkley took a direct snap and used Trace McSorley as a running back. As far as gambits went it was relatively short-lived; the next year Michigan stomped all of the inverse mesh points. But it had a thunderous debut, and I remember thinking Joe Moorhead was pretty good at his job specifically because of one thing:

The only detail remaining was to leave a crease for Barkley to escape through when he pulled the ball back from McSorley’s belly. That was achieved by having left tackle Ryan Bates pass set instead of run block. That drew defensive end Rashan Gary on an upfield rush and opened a seam to the left for Barkley.

At the time I was the person charting all of Rashan Gary's snaps and frequently complaining that Gary's desire to rush the passer—to demonstrate why he was the #1 recruit in America—frequently saw him shoot 10 yards upfield to the detriment of the Michigan defense. Moorhead saw that, too, and stuck a dagger in Michigan's belly on the first play. A chagrined Gary dialed it back.

What if the opposition was completely incapable of dialing it back? Things looked bad for Michigan after two drives because whoever lined up against Karsen Barnhart was instantly past him. Sherrone Moore adjusted. He literally stopped calling dropback passes and eventually stopped calling passes, period. Faced with third and ten he ran a crack sweep with his quarterback; faced with third and eleven he shot Donovan Edwards out the backside of a play where not one but two Penn State players were recklessly headed for the quarterback.

Nothing changed for Penn State. Not one thing. Michigan finally closed the door immediately after a Penn State four-and-out turnover on downs when Robinson, who so many centuries ago was marauding through the Michigan backfield, got blown out of a gap by trying to get upfield:

That is how Michigan called game.

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You could hear the emotion pouring off Sherrone Moore in his post-game interview. Our dude was weeping, thanking God, and dropping three cuss words on national television. Next to him, a bloodied Blake Corum stood, gently leaking onto the Beaver Stadium field. Michigan has been the subject of a month-long PR campaign attempting to spin a useless scheme executed by an overzealous staffer into the Greatest Scandal In Big Ten History, and the dullard currently running the conference bought it hook, line and sinker.

By the time the league finally acted, Jim Harbaugh was literally on a plane to Happy Valley. The entire Michigan universe is furious, and we're not even on the team.I have no idea what kind of rage players on the team must have felt. Their head coach is suspended right before a top-ten road matchup. The thing they've worked their whole lives for is under threat due to actions they knew nothing about and had nothing to do with. Their play since the scandal-type substance broke is indication enough that whatever Connor Stalions was doing had approximately zero impact on how good this football team is.

It is incredible that Michigan took all of that, bottled it up, coldly evaluated the way you lose to this Penn State team—a strip-sack—and then ran a second-half gameplan far removed from what anyone would recognize as winning football in 2023. They won with it.

On top of the injury Tony Petitti delivered, there was plenty of insult to go around. Penn State defenders were taunting Michigan with cringy sign-stealing celebrations. Their defensive coordinator made a similarly cringy joke on a hype video posted a couple days before the game. Michigan ate all of that. They shoved it into a hole. They did not spear a guy in the helmet from behind, or take two personal foul penalties on one play, or lose their cool in any discernible way. They just handled their business.

In the end, it was Penn State that could not gear down. It was Penn State that kept flinging guys across the line of scrimmage long after it was clear that Michigan was anticipating that. The home team lost the plot, not Michigan. The day after, James Franklin threw yet another Spinal Tap drummer under the bus by firing Mike Yurich. After all that, they're the shook ones.

Players will tell you they shut all the noise out. They don't. They can't. It's clear that Michigan has been steeping in the same poisonous online media spaces we all have been, from the team-wide "bet" tweets in the aftermath of the suspension to what Corum did when he shut the door on Penn State for good: the same thing Manny Diaz did. Except instead of "get there early," "be loud," and "especially on third down" they meant:

Time's up.

I can't hear you.

You're next, Third Base.

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[Barron]

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

53325159036_f0ae43dd7a_c (1)

[Barron]

you're the man now, dog-2535ac8789d1b499[1]

#1 Blake Corum. 26 carries for 145 yards, 5.6 a pop, against what was statistically one of the best defenses in America, while Michigan was metaphorically holding up a big sign that said "RUN" on every second-half snap.

#2 Kenneth Grant. Four solo tackles as a NT; popped up early and often to clobber PSU run plays. Turned in the play of the game on defense when he ran down Kaytron Allen on PSU's only explosive play.

#3 The Offensive Line. See the Corum items above. Can't move them higher because Barnhart was the major reason Michigan held up the big RUN sign, but drop out the sack and the two kneeldowns and Michigan's output: 43 carries, 263 yards, 6.1 YPC, against a team coming off a game against Maryland where they "gave up" –49 yards.

Honorable mention: JJ McCarthy was efficient on his eight attempts and added 44 yards on 7 carries; AJ Barner was the main reason Corum's bounce went long; Donovan Edwards popped two explosives and narrowly missed a second touchdown; Rayshaun Benny had a TFL and forced a fumble; Will Johnson chased the only PSU receiver around.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

45: JJ McCarthy (#1 ECU, #1 UNLV, #2 Rutgers, HM Nebraska, #2 Minn, #1 IU, #1 MSU, HM PUR, HM PSU)

23: Kris Jenkins (HM ECU, T2 UNLV, #1 BGSU, HM Rutgers, #1 Neb, HM MSU)

18: Blake Corum (HM ECU, HM UNLV, #2 BGSU, HM Rutgers, HM Neb, HM IU, #1 PSU)

15: Mason Graham (HM ECU, T2 UNLV, #1 Minn, HM IU, HM MSU)

14: Roman Wilson (T2 ECU, HM UNLV, HM BGSU, #3 Nebraska, #2 PUR)

13: Mike Sainristil (T3 ECU, HM BGSU, #1 Rutgers, HM IU, HM MSU)

11: Mike Barrett (HM UNLV, T3 Rutgers, #2 IU, T1 PUR), AJ Barner (HM BGSU, HM Neb, HM Minn, T3 IU, T2 MSU, HM PSU), Kenneth Grant (T3 ECU, T2 UNLV, #2 PSU)

10: Braiden McGregor(T3 UNLV, #2 Nebraska, T1 PUR)

9: Colston Loveland (HM Rutgers, T3 IU, T2 MSU, HM PUR)

7: Cornelius Johnson (T2 ECU, HM UNLV, HM BGSU, HM Minn), Derrick Moore (T3 UNLV, HM Neb, HM MSU, T1 PUR), Will Johnson(#3 Minn, #3 PUR, HM PSU)

6: Junior Colson (#3 BGSU, T3 Rutgers, HM MSU), Jaylen Harrell (HM UNLV, HM BGSU, HM IU, T1 PUR)

4: Ernest Hausmann (T3 ECU, T3 Rutgers), Max Bredeson (HM Rutgers, HM Neb, T3 IU), Josiah Stewart (HM Minn, T1 PUR), The Offensive Line (HM Minn, #3 PSU)

2:  Josh Wallace (T3 ECU), Semaj Morgan (HM Rutgers, HM PUR), Donovan Edwards (HM ECU, HM PSU)

1: Tommy Doman (HM ECU), Tyler Morris (HM UNLV), Quinten Johnson (HM Rutgers), Kalel Mullings (HM Minn),Keon Sabb (HM Minn), Ben Hall (HM IU), Rod Moore (HM PUR), Rayshaun Benny (HM PSU)

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

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THE DON [Barron]

Sherrone Moore shows Manny Diaz his liver with a third-and-eleven run from just outside the redzone that Donovan Edwards cashes for a touchdown and a 14-3 lead.

Honorable mention: Corum calls game. Rayshaun Benny punches a ball out that Makari Paige falls on.

imageMARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK

Karsen Barnhart gives up three –2 pass pro events in the first four potential pass pro events, leading me and probably many others to believe that Michigan was totally boned.

Honorable mention: Quinten Johnson INT is (correctly) overturned, which makes the Michael Barrett penalty a first down, which eventually leads to a touchdown, which prevents the score from looking like the game, which irritates me a great deal. Cam Goode's spectacular pass rush turns into a first down because he overruns the dude. Officials inexplicably overturn a running into the kicker penalty that would have given Michigan a first down. PSU scores a QB draw TD on which Mason Graham is obviously, materially held.

NICK SAMAC PATHETIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEKsamac_thumb1

I don't know, maybe the Big Ten suspending Jim Harbaugh as he was literally on a plane to Happy Valley. Maybe the fanciful notion that suspending Harbaugh is a sanction against the University because he embodies the football team. Maybe pretending like this penny-ante bullshit is Endangering The Student Athletes. Maybe everything Tony Petitti has done since becoming Big Ten commissioner. I really thought I wouldn't be handing this out on a weekly basis but we're not off to a great start.

Dishonorable mention: N/A

[After THE JUMP: Manny gonna Manny]
at least one guy can still manage to get upset [Bryan Fuller]

10/14/2023 – Michigan 52, Indiana 7 – 7-0, 4-0 Big Ten

Another week, another slight update to the bolded line you see immediately above. Increment the date, barely adjust the score,—this time I got to leave Michigan's entirely alone and subtract three points from Opponent's line—increment the wins but not the losses. I am aware that this bit of the column has been fairly boring this year, but I can't wax rhapsodic about Yet Another Game Against Opponent. It is not possible. I already used the "lol cut and paste" column conceit this year... in week two

The only deviation from the overall narrative of the season was the placement of Michigan's two unsuccessful drives and Opponent's two successful ones. All of those came right at the start, so there was a momentary flicker of… not exactly doubt. Something more than annoyance. Peevishness. Yes, folks, I was peeved.

Then barely more than a quarter later it was 35-7 and I was invested in two things: Michigan continuing their season-long third quarter shutout streak and being up by enough that Jack Tuttle got to play in the third quarter. Check and check. Michigan has still not been in a football game this season.

This has been a positive development for our collective blood pressure and results in a lot of fancy graphs where Michigan is at one end and Iowa is at the other:

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Iowa is going to make the Big Ten championship game because of course they are. Michigan, meanwhile, has two giant hurdles to clear before they can say the same, and two more games against deeply overmatched opponents before the first of those hurdles shows up on the schedule. It's natural for a team, and a fanbase, to sleepwalk through a rainy Saturday.

At this point, though… I'd like to be a little nervous. College football is not supposed to be an exploration of the Washington Generals' alternate uniforms.

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At least this week is Michigan State week. Even when Michigan State is abjectly horrible the history of this game brings enough intrigue to separate it from the Indianas and Rutgerseseses of the world. And MSU is abjectly horrible. They're coming off a double Sparty No loss against Rutgers that caused Graham Couch to post a video titled "Michigan State football's epic collapse at Rutgers continues the season from hell" that is, hilariously, on the Detroit Free Press channel. Former beat writer Matt Charboneau ended up in a Twitter fight with MSU fans who thought his Katin Houser take was bad…

…after Houser threw for 4.6 yards an attempt. His main asset relative to Noah Kim is that when he tried to turn the ball over, Rutgers politely declined.

It is likely that Michigan stuffs Michigan State in a trash can this weekend, but 52-7 hits different when it's Michigan State a year after eight guys got suspended for jumping Gemon Green and Ja'Den McBurrows after a noncompetitive loss. It's not going to be 52-7 because MSU will pull out all the stops as they chase the one thing that could somewhat redeem this karma-laden season, but what's MSU's best-case scenario here? It doesn't have the word "dignity" in it.

That will provide some grim satisfaction, and then one more tune up before Armageddon November.

AWARDS

Known Friends and Trusted Agents Of The Week

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[Fuller]

you're the man now, dog-2535ac8789d1b499[1]

#1 JJ McCarthy. Sometimes the sheer lack of attempts for McCarthy keeps him out of this slot, and you could argue that a guy throwing the ball 17 times probably shouldn't be up here. But when you complete 14 of them for 222 yards, okay. McCarthy also had 50 yards rushing. He did take a sack or two that was on him, but offset that with multiple escapes that set Michigan up for big plays.

#2 Michael Barrett. A blitzing tour de force from Barrett, who had a sack, strip, and fumble recovery on one thunderous blitz; on a second he forced the QB into the waiting arms of Jaylen Harrell; a third forced a rollout and throwaway even though he drew a blocker. Barrett was able to attack half a man and push through anyway. Michigan has been holding their water with Barrett all year—just 18 pass rush snaps per PFF. Might be time for him to get nosier.

#3(T) AJ Barner, Max Bredeson, and Colston Loveland. Barner and Bredeson continue to plow opponents; Barner also turned in a nice back-shoulder catch. Loveland isn't as forceful of a blocker but led Michigan with 80 receiving yards, including an important conversion on Michigan's third drive and a long improv touchdown. Two points each.

Honorable mentionBlake Corum continues to do Blake Corum things in relatively slim at-bats. Ben Hall led Michigan in rushing and set expectations for next year real high. Jaylen Harrell had a clean-up sack and a strip sack that set up a Mason Graham recovery and club-forward turnover buffs photo. Mike Sainristil deflected a pass that ended up being an interception and had great coverage on a couple other incidents.

KFaTAotW Standings.

(points: #1: 8, #2: 5, #3: 3, HMs one each. Ties result in somewhat arbitrary assignments.)

35: JJ McCarthy (#1 ECU, #1 UNLV, #2 Rutgers, HM Nebraska, #2 Minn, #1 IU)

22: Kris Jenkins (HM ECU, T2 UNLV, #1 BGSU, HM Rutgers, #1 Neb)

14: Mason Graham (HM ECU, T2 UNLV, #1 Minn, HM IU)

12: Mike Sainristil (T3 ECU, HM BGSU, #1 Rutgers, HM IU)

10: Blake Corum (HM ECU, HM UNLV, #2 BGSU, HM Rutgers, HM Neb, HM IU)

9: Roman Wilson (T2 ECU, HM UNLV, HM BGSU, #3 Nebraska)

8: Mike Barrett (HM UNLV, T3 Rutgers, #2 IU)

7: Braiden McGregor(T3 UNLV, #2 Nebraska), Cornelius Johnson (T2 ECU, HM UNLV, HM BGSU, HM Minn)

6: Kenneth Grant (T3 ECU, T2 UNLV),

5: Junior Colson (#3 BGSU, T3 Rutgers), AJ Barner (HM BGSU, HM Neb, HM Minn, T3 IU)

4: Ernest Hausmann (T3 ECU, T3 Rutgers), Max Bredeson (HM Rutgers, HM Neb, T3 IU)

3: Will Johnson(#3 Minn), Colston Loveland (HM Rutgers, T3 IU), Derrick Moore (T3 UNLV, HM Neb), Jaylen Harrell (HM UNLV, HM BGSU, HM IU)

2:  Josh Wallace (T3 ECU)

1: Tommy Doman (HM ECU), Donovan Edwards (HM ECU), Tyler Morris (HM UNLV), Semaj Morgan (HM Rutgers),Quinten Johnson (HM Rutgers), Kalel Mullings (HM Minn), The Offensive Line (HM Minn), Keon Sabb (HM Minn), Josiah Stewart (HM Minn), Ben Hall (HM IU)

Who's Got It Better Than Us(?) Of The Week

Tyler Morris fields a punt over his shoulder after a weird bounce, dodges the two gunners, and rips off 30 yards to set Michigan up for a late first-half TD that allows Michigan to dominate the "middle eight."

Honorable mention: JJ-Edwards flip, Barrett sack-strip-recover, JJ-Loveland improv TD, Graham one-hand fumble recovery.

imageMARCUS HALL EPIC DOUBLE BIRD OF THE WEEK.

Keon Sabb bites on a trick play, allowing Indiana to go up 7-0 near the end of the first quarter and asking momentary Questions.

Honorable mention: Colston Loveland drops a ball on Michigan's first play from scrimmage, which helps create a three-and-out.

[After THE JUMP: more metrics]

fine we're gonna win the national championship

it's shorter than it used to be

same bat-game

argh

undefeated with dignity

xanax szn 

Armageddon II is now on the table 

it's time to relax

i'm perfectly calm, dude 

ah hell