Michigan-OSU and the Onion
Thought some of you might enjoy the Onion's take on purported peace talks between Michigan and Ohio State.
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/big_ten_peace_summit_fails?…
August 28th, 2009 at 3:40 PM ^
is Michigan Palestine and Ohio State Israel? I love how the story is out of Park Ridge, IL.
August 28th, 2009 at 4:30 PM ^
somewhere in Park Ridge vicinity? I used to drive by a building that I always assumed housed Delany and his minions ...
August 28th, 2009 at 4:32 PM ^
Michigan's statehood was not fully recognized by Ohio when it was founded.
Due to external pressures, Michigan was forced to concede to Ohio the Toledo Strip.
Columbus has out-of-control riots that its police have been proven powerless to control.
Michigan is the more developed state.
Michigan was established as a haven for Michiganders from all over the world who had endured centuries of persecution.
The Ohio State Buckeyes have been labeled a terrorist organization by the US State Dept.
(Ok, so I made up the last two)
August 28th, 2009 at 5:16 PM ^
Michigan was awarded the UP to compensate for the loss of the Toledo Strip. All in all, not a bad trade.
August 28th, 2009 at 5:30 PM ^
Let's just keep Jimmy Carter away from there and Michigan should be safe.
August 28th, 2009 at 6:34 PM ^
All in all not a bad trade hell. All in all we got pretty much all the natural resources in the country between the Appalachians and Mississippi that don't involve livestock or soybeans, we got gorgeous scenery and wilderness that remains largely unspoiled to this day, we got control of every Great Lakes chokepoint west of Cleveland, and we got a national park. And they got Toledo. If Ohioans were smart enough to figure out the extent of the shitty deal they got, they'd have invaded already.
August 28th, 2009 at 3:43 PM ^
To be frank, it isn't that unbelievable.
August 28th, 2009 at 3:46 PM ^
If that story came out anywhere else, I'd believe it up to the car-bomb part. At that point I would have been slightly skeptical.
August 28th, 2009 at 3:59 PM ^
I seriously doubt the legitimacy of any Michigan representative who would negotiate with buckeyes. We must never negotiate with buckeyes!
August 28th, 2009 at 5:09 PM ^
Clearly this is a way to get them to let their defenses down. You know, "keep your friends close but your enemies closer", something along those lines. Just like China, we're simply biding our time...
August 28th, 2009 at 9:27 PM ^
Or you are with the Buckeyes.
August 28th, 2009 at 4:27 PM ^
See the problem is that the Buckeyes were NOT the legitimate Rose Bowl representative in 73. We must never give ground on this point!
August 28th, 2009 at 9:09 PM ^
Can you explain why we were the true rep? We had identical records, but they beat up head to head...
Did I miss something?
August 28th, 2009 at 9:19 PM ^
One, they did not win head to head, it was a 10-10 tie.
Two, the rule was, and remains so to this day, that if there's a tie, the team who more recently went to the Rose Bowl loses the tiebreaker. OSU had gone the previous year, so Michigan should have been in line, but the conference presidents (or ADs, can't remember exactly) voted to take a shit on the rulebook and wipe their collective ass with its pages, and sent OSU anyway. The justification was that Dennis Franklin was injured and OSU had a better chance of winning. They did win, but still.
August 28th, 2009 at 9:31 PM ^
But now I'm mad!
August 29th, 2009 at 1:10 PM ^
The Big Ten had just gotten rid of a no-repeat rule for the Rose Bowl. Under that rule, you could not go two years in a row even if you were the outright champ. Given that the two teams were tied, and that OSU had gone the previous year, and that this wouldn't even have been an issue a couple of years earlier (Michigan would have automatically gone), it's ridiculous that we weren't allowed to go.
August 28th, 2009 at 5:55 PM ^
There was a story in The Onion back on '06 about the Michigan-OSU game labeled "The Most Useless Game Ever" or something like that. It talked about how regardless of the outcome, Michigan and OSU would be #1 and #2 and play in the Nat'l Championship. Funny how that turned out...
August 28th, 2009 at 10:22 PM ^
My favorite Onion headline: "Mr T. releases pity list '86.
August 28th, 2009 at 10:34 PM ^
We might see peace in the Middle East before we see peace between U-M & those BASTARDS in Ohio...and THAT'S the way I like it, LOL!!