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I really appreciated the first commercial break

"Temptation" in the first commercial, followed by "Hawaiian War Chant" in the second commercial, almost felt like the Muppets that goddamn spot stole from us.

Breitbart? Really?

Uh... Breitbart isn't exactly a bastion of independent news and analysis, first off.

Second - the stories that they cite have nothing to do with transgender bathroom laws. It has always been, and always will be, illegal to peep or video tape people in bathrooms - that's why they were charged. Nearly all of the stories are in states that haven't tried to issue these protections. Only one as far as I can tell is actually citing a gender rule, and their link is a 404 so I can't investigate the context.

If anything these stories prove the opposite - sexual predators are going to be sexual predators, regardless of whether there's a law saying that trans people can't use a bathroom of their choice. Their actions are illegal regardless, and transgender protections don't have any impact on the ability to prosecute them - it was never "illegal" to be in the wrong bathroom before all this, that wasn't what predators were charged with.

Oh, if only.

The TWIS would be so, so sweet.  I can see it now... 'Bama fans bitching about how they beat us in the regular season and how we don't deserve to play them again, either outright ignoring what happened last year or making some meek attempt to explain how "this time it's different"...  Ohio State fans mashing the caps lock key so hard they break their keyboards... Sparty fans being Sparty fans... Oh God please let this happen.

You should have warned me...

...that this page was NSFW... ND/UofM slash fiction is not a healthy way to start the day.

 

very unfortunate head placement

Obligatory

This thread is bad and you should FEEL bad!

Also -

The $60 million has to go into an endowment for external programs preventing child sexual abuse or assisting victims.  At least some good will come out of it.

An Analogy

John Beilein : Wolverines Basketball :: Billy Beane : Oakland Athletics

Knew this would come up somewhere...

... but didn't think it would be the first post.  Thanks for the quick defense, jhender85.

Brian needs to get it together, man.

'Cause if he hurls, and I catch a whiff of it, man.. I'm gonna spew. And if I blow chunks, chances are someone else is gonna honk, alright? And that's gonna set off a parastolic reaction, alright?

I don't want to start a witch hunt...

... but there is a real person with that name that lives (or previously lived) in Canton, less than half an hour away from Catholic Central.  Whether it's coincidence, someone trying to frame him, or he really is just an asshole, I have no idea.

Had to watch it on mute

I honestly forgot how god awful that song is until I played that video.  Absolutely ruins it for me.

 

EDIT: The one in the video that shows up when you open the site.  The dog groomers.  The actual "This is Michigan" video was very well done.

Not sure if troll...

I can't tell if he's doing a nice little inversion of Hoke calling Ohio State "Ohio" or just made a mistake.  Since this is Brian we're talking about I'm inclined to think the former, but still... Subtle troll is subtle.

All I need now is a McRib in

All I need now is a McRib in my McMansion

I hear that they're selling

I hear that they're selling jerseys in Ohio.

Did it turn the tide on the

Did it turn the tide on the rivalry?

*snicker snicker*

V Smith's fingerbanging really makes the pink pop.

 

... I've just disgusted myself.

The best part of this meme...

...is that years from now, new Michigan freshmen will join this board, see people posting this, and be trolled almost as hard as the guy who wrote it.

Keep the dream alive, DeathToTheBCS.

I feel bad about it

But I can't stop laughing.  Well done sir.

Momma said...

...knock you out?

It was unpublished

Mods removed it.  I was the one who posted it, mostly looking for more info like what you posted in this topic.  

As strange as it feels to say this, good call on deleting my thread, faceless moderator.  I suggest that this one be kept, though - hopefully anyone wondering about it will see this.

I don't CARE that it's cheating.

I care that athletes from a major NCAA program were specifically TRYING to cause injuries during a football game.  If I saw a Michigan player punching an opponent after a play, or throwing a quarterback down *several seconds* after the pass was thrown, or trying to take out his assignment with an arm bar, I would be calling for his suspension, no question. If I saw all three of those in the same game, with no consequences *at all* afterward, I would be calling for a coaching change.

It has nothing to do with whether those cheap shots influenced the outcome of the game.  Football is already one of the most dangerous sports of the modern age, and there should be no tolerance whatsoever for actively attempting to harm other players.

It's thuggish behavior and it shouldn't be tolerated - and in most schools it isn't.  Jonathan Brown's nut shot against Patrick Ward was met with a one-game suspension, imposed by the coach, just two weeks ago.  A knee to the groin is painful, but has little risk of permanent damage or long-term affects to a person's career.  Do you really think that Brown's behavior was worth a suspension but these clips aren't?

Premature, but...

I agree with most people that we should be worrying about MSU, not a national championship or even the big 10 championship.  

However, it's an interesting thought experiment - if we did manage to run the table and then beat Wisconsin for the Big Ten Championship, would we actually make the National Championship game?

The facts:

  • LSU plays Bama in November, so at least one of them will be out of the running.
  • If we assume that Michigan wins the Big Ten, Wisconsin will be out, probably due to an upset loss to us.
  • Oklahoma doesn't play any of the above and is in good shape to go undefeated if they can avoid a potential end-of-year upset by Oklahoma State.  
  • Boise State is... well, Boise State.  They won't be in the top 2 even if they're undefeated.
  • Stanford's resume looks pretty weak - their only currently ranked opponent is Oregon, and a hypothetical win against Wisconsin would put us ahead most likely.
  • Clemson has already beaten 3 ranked opponents and is currently favored for the rest of their entire schedule.  It's hard to say whether they'd be ahead of us if they went undefeated.
  • Oklahoma State will either knock off Oklahoma or be knocked off by them.
  • Oregon and Arkansas have losses, and I don't see them being ahead of any undefeated at the end of the season.

So, it's entirely possible that we have LSU or Bama, Oklahoma or Oklahoma State, and possibly Clemson, undefeated and ahead of us.  We can probably assume that beating Wisconsin would be enough to push us past Clemson, but I don't see how we'd be ranked ahead of an undefeated LSU or Oklahoma.

Basically, this would put us in the position of a Boise State, except that this time it's an established football powerhouse, an old-guard BCS school being kept out of the championship game after going undefeated with one of the most incredible quarterbacks in the history of football.

If that's not a justification for a playoff, I don't know what is...

 

More to it than that

There's a second rumor that Les Miles used some very private information on Carr as a negative recruiting tool, but I have no way to substantiate that.

Personally I think we should say the rumors outright rather than skirt around them like this, but I'll defer to the rest of the board - does anyone think we should discuss them in the open?

But would you say...

...that he's turned the tide on the rivalry?  Are Michigan jerseys selling in Ohio?

 

I ask myself: is this getting old yet?

 

And I answer myself: no, it is not.

Continued...

King Denard: Wait!  Wait!  I'll tell!  I'll tell!

Dark Helmet: I knew it would work!  Alright, give it to me!
King Denard: The combination is... One. 
Dark Helmet: One. 
Colonel Sandurz: One. 
King Denard: Two. 
Dark Helmet: Two. 
Colonel Sandurz: Two. 
King Denard: Three. 
Dark Helmet: Three. 
Colonel Sandurz: Three. 
King Denard: Four. 
Dark Helmet: Four. 
Colonel Sandurz: Four. 
King Denard: Five. 
Dark Helmet: Five. 
Colonel Sandurz: Five. 
Dark Helmet: So the combination is... one, two, three, four, five? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! The kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage! 
 
 
--later--
 
Coach Fickell: Did it work? Where's the king? 
Dark Helmet: It worked, sir. We have the combination. 
Coach Fickell: Great. Now we can wreak havoc among the Michigan faithful. What's the combination? 
Colonel Sandurz: 1-2-3-4-5 
Coach Fickell: 1-2-3-4-5? 
Colonel Sandurz: Yes! 
Coach Fickell: That's amazing. I've got the same combination on my luggage. 
That doesn't mean much

Lou Holthz hasn't made an unbiased or insightful pick in his entire career as an analyst.  

Might be a little late, but...

I think Hoke is a pretty cool guy.  eh kills buckeys and doesn't afraid of anything.

This is funnier than the original event

 

DenardEX
Every breath you take, Every move you make, Every bond you break, Every step you take, I'll be watching you 
Someone started a parody account

http://twitter.com/#!/DenardEX

First tweet:  why did you delete my tweets? You won't be able to outrun me like you outrun opposing defenses

We need screenshots.

Some of us woke up late this morning.

 

UPDATE: Found 'em!

http://yfrog.com/h0jhpap

http://yfrog.com/hs4iocp

Not deleted??

It looks like they took the account down, removed all the psycho hosebeast tweets, and put it back up with a new password.  Kudos to Twitter for the appropriate response - but I still want to see screenshots.  I enjoy watching people lose their shit in text form.

Cadence is perfect.

Others have pointed out that it's too slow, which is correct - but nobody seems to have mentioned the pause between each repetition.  The whole thing is 8 beats, with the final beat   being a full rest for everyone to shout "GO BLUE".  You have to keep that rhythm all the way through, or you'll lose the crowd.

Also, no flourish at the end.  The last repetition is just 7 on-beat hits, and two hits timed with "GO BLUE" for the final beat.  (Or if you're in Crisler, let the claps carry it for the last repetition - go silent with the cowbell until the final two hits for the cheer.)

 

Lulz

From the article:

The blogosphere reacted with vitriol to Daulerio's tantrum. In a post titled "AJ Daulerio Is an Asshole," Brian Cook of the sports blog MGo summed it up best: "Daulerio's an embarrassment.... As someone who runs a sports blog for a living, his wanton flouting of common decency makes me look like an asshole by proxy, and I don't appreciate it."

I'm going to start calling this site Blog Mgo whenever the opportunity arises.

Get out of Michigan...

That or move somewhere with a better job market.  I just graduated in April, and moved to Austin about a month later when searching in southeast Michigan proved fruitless.  Not only did I land a job as soon as I came down, I actually got recruited for a better one 3 months later.  (By someone who saw my resume on CareerBuilder, believe it or not.)

My degree was in computer engineering, and Austin is a big tech center, so YMMV if you were a different major - but the best advice I can give to a Michigan grad looking for a job is to leave Michigan.

They do have Spartan pens, though.

A comprehensive list can be found here.

I shit you not...

The first four games I heard her, I thought she was a bottle of cooking spray.

Conspiracy

I always found it amusing that Michigan put a bunch of the athletes and the Honors College all in South Quad.  Combine that with the fact that C.C. Little  was big on eugenics (and later became president of the American Eugenics Society) and you've got all the elements of a rather disturbing conspiracy theory.

Confirmed

Found a message board post about it: http://mgoblog.com/mgoboard/michigan-football-roomies/

More like...
I fully expect you to upvote this post, then:

It's not lupus.

Grammasturbation

I, too, was affected by this.  I hoped to effect change in the team by affecting Barwis's affect, but then I realized that he couldn't possibly be more effective.

Also, Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.

Technically...

... it's a waste of a private donor's money, as explained in the article.  Hell, if someone gave me $8000 to paint my lawn pink, I'd probably do it just to pocket the difference.

Boring story

I saw him on the Commuter North / Commuter South buses a few times last year (I was in CE but lived on central, so I took them daily back and forth).  He was always wearing that blue Adidas pullover thing that all the athletes have, and always sat in the back, where there's two benches facing each other.  I never saw anyone gush over him, but he wasn't HE16MAN then either.

Thanks to you, I just ruined my monitor.

My monitor has slobber all over it now because of you.  Damn you for finding a picture of pretty much the only good food ever to come out of South Quad.

Acceptable substitute?

I do believe that this is the Brady figure that it was based on.  Get some modeling paint and some plastic dreads and make your own. 

Oh, and post pics.  The posbangs will be epic.

Good news, everyone!

I've invented a device which makes you read this in your head, in my voice!

Meh

I can sort of see the argument for the "Space, bitches" one - even though it's referencing an historical event, it's obviously inspired by a commercial that the University used to run - that might not fall under fair use.

The "Shoelace" one I think had the words "D ROB" imprinted on the end of the lace - that might be a step across the line as well.

Question...

Um... How is it that an independent business that is completely unaffiliated with the University is subject to NCAA compliance rules?  I mean obviously the University can't make a HE16MAN shirt, and obviously MGoStore can't do any endorsement deals with the student athletes, but Denard Robinson and Desmond Howard are public figures - references to their history, nicknames, etc. fall under fair use, and I can't imagine the NCAA putting sanctions on a school for the actions of a completely unaffiliated business.

Contrary to popular belief...

...Having a computer is not a license to be a dick.

You've been here four hours and that's basically all you've done.  Hopefully the banhammer comes swiftly.

Normally I'd agree, but...

...damefan1 has done a good enough job of that himself.