Wojo Snarticle on Sparty
Wojo's fun-to-read piece on MSU/Dantonio was posted last last night on DetNews. So much snark I don't know where to start....
"You know it’s a lame college football weekend when the marquee matchups are SMU-Memphis (seriously) and Michigan-Maryland (not so seriously). But hey, I dug deep and found one major positive: We don’t have to spend three-and-a-half hours watching Michigan State punt the ball.
Michigan State’s season already was in smoldering ruins, to the point the black smoke in East Lansing was visible from the upper floors of the Renaissance Center. Dantonio spent 13 years building an undercover powerhouse, winning Big Ten titles and bowl games, even nearly beating Arizona State a couple times. When Jim Harbaugh came along and grabbed all the publicity, it had to chafe D’antoni, whose biggest legal concern was filing court orders to get the damn apostrophe off his name.
For many reasons, including off-the-field issues and pending lawsuits, Michigan State’s recruiting has slipped sharply. According to my addled sources, assistants now fill roster openings by posting flyers on grocery-store bulletin boards. So many Spartans have leapt into the transfer portal, the school is considering a satellite campus down there."
More snark available at the article link:
Credit: Detroit News, Bob Wojnowski, 10/31/19
November 1st, 2019 at 11:33 AM ^
Sparty, more like Snarty.
Boom! Sparty crush on top!
November 1st, 2019 at 1:09 PM ^
Sharty also seems applicable.
November 1st, 2019 at 11:39 AM ^
This was ruthless, yet completely accurate. I really didn't expect Dantonio to fall this quickly, but as someone once said "Pride comes before the fall."
November 1st, 2019 at 11:42 AM ^
It's like a "This Week in Schadenfreude" post except it's all Sparty and in the DetNews
November 1st, 2019 at 11:56 AM ^
It had been a little while since I had seen the lackluster revival of TWIS on SBNation, so I decided to google to see if it's still a thing. Nope, died a couple of years ago.
BUT I did find that NBC News had a short-lived feature called "This week in schadenfreude." Seriously. They unabashedly ripped off TWIS for actual news.
https://www.nbcnews.com/feature/this-week-in-schadenfreude
I don't think they quite knew how it worked, though. The last feature they posted in 2016 was about melting Antarctic ice caps. That's... not schadenfreude, unless you're reveling in the misfortune of the earth and environment, I guess. Before that, the little video clips are pretty lame. Not particularly interesting and I can see why the feature failed.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:02 PM ^
It's still alive. It's on Roll Bama Roll. There isn't as much writing as when Brian did it, but the comments are still fantastic.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:12 PM ^
Here is last weeks, featuring Texas, Oklahoma, Auburn, but no Notre Dame unfortunately.
Rumors of Texas being back have been greatly exaggerated. Rumors of my demise have been...actually pretty sound.
Tom Herman Is Pressing His Buttcheeks Against Your Mirror & Forcing You To Stare At It
Name a better duo: Les Miles & being involved with monumentally stupid Special Teams plays
If Bo Nix was accurate he would’ve thrown at least four picks.
4 Hour game - fuck you CBS
OU were 24 point favorites.
K-State: “Nah. We’re winning straight up.”
Kansas State ALMOST BLEW a 48-23 lead, take notes Falcons how to win the next time you have a 28-3 lead in a big game
Guess OU should’ve started the comeback...
puts on sunglasses
...sooner.
*through tears* YEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
The Wagon: crashes
Fans: We need to treat this as an omen. Lincoln you should prepare for stuff like clock management or something
November 1st, 2019 at 1:26 PM ^
From the Stanford-Oregon State highlights:
The Pac-12 is going as the Donner Party for Halloween this year.
November 1st, 2019 at 2:08 PM ^
“This call has college playoff implications”...as ref squints into the tiniest screen imaginable.
LOL
November 1st, 2019 at 3:27 PM ^
“Hi, I’m Auburn’s defense and I have DirecTV.”
”And I’m Auburn’s offense and I go snorkeling in septic tanks”
.....classic
November 1st, 2019 at 3:58 PM ^
Isn't it being on RBR kind of like a comedian who punches down? Yeah everybody is pissed because you bought all of the players, Bama! :)
November 1st, 2019 at 2:53 PM ^
i'm sure the koch brothers loved the article on the melting ice caps, actually.
November 1st, 2019 at 11:42 AM ^
Edit: Double post get off my lawn
November 1st, 2019 at 12:06 PM ^
"We're not selling hope here. We're selling results." Dantonio's famous quote from the 2015 recruiting class as he was taking shots at UM and all of the Harbaugh fanfare. I guess he has to go back to selling people on hope and lies once again.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:15 PM ^
‘And, oh yea, PEDs. We’re selling PEDS).
November 1st, 2019 at 1:20 PM ^
Actually they’re handing them out a fistful at a time for free.
November 1st, 2019 at 1:52 PM ^
Let's not forget consequence-free sexual assault on coeds....I don't know if they're selling that, but it definitely seems to be a perk.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:56 PM ^
It was actually much more accurate than Wojo usually goes for in his weekly column. (Which is one of the best weekly reads there is, IMO.) The tone was really different than usual, even though it was snarky as ever. It really seemed much darker, at least if you consider the decline and fall of the Sparty empire something dark. It was still snarky, but this wasn't Wojo making his usual lighthearted jibes at Dantonio's demeanor and disrespekt mantra. It was a big DANGER sign.
November 1st, 2019 at 1:06 PM ^
Woosterwolv! The perfect retort. Good job.
November 1st, 2019 at 1:37 PM ^
We need to beat them by more than we beat ND and preferably shut them out
November 1st, 2019 at 3:27 PM ^
Win the game.
Disassemble Spartan Stadium.
Plow the playing field with salt.
Execute the university's leadership.
Place the entire student body in the transfer portal.
November 1st, 2019 at 6:13 PM ^
MSU is more like the Gauls to our Rome. No need to salt their fields, just beat them soundly and integrate them as vassals into the empire.
ND are the Greeks and Saturday felt something like the massacre at Corinth. We won't be having any trouble with them for awhile.
And furthermore, Columbus must be destroyed.
November 2nd, 2019 at 11:35 AM ^
I think "Columbus delenda est!" (Columbo? Columbae? Columbum? my Latin was long ago, far away, and bad) is my new motto.
November 1st, 2019 at 11:40 AM ^
argh! I can't unread this, "it’s a bigger mess in East Lansing than a White Castle bathroom at 2 a.m."
November 1st, 2019 at 11:52 AM ^
That line was the absolute best! I can't believe Wojo put that in the article.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:56 PM ^
Wojo comes alive. It's been awhile since he's been this good. Maybe since the WDFN days.
November 1st, 2019 at 2:32 PM ^
I have been to both and the comparison is accurate.
November 1st, 2019 at 11:42 AM ^
UM must beat these fools on Nov. 16.
I think it could be a decisive blow.
November 1st, 2019 at 11:47 AM ^
I think style points matter on this one, even if we're all penciling in a win. If Michigan puts up 50 on MSU and holds them to a near shut out, it's the end for Mork. If it's another ugly 21-10 type of game, who knows what happens over there.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:09 PM ^
I hope he rides his program right into the deep dark pits of despair. BPONE on steroids....
November 1st, 2019 at 12:44 PM ^
I think they ride Dantonio until he retires, no matter the outcome. Who could they possibly hire amidst all the scandal and players leaving? Narduzzi barely has a winning record in the ACC-- he'd get destroyed in the Big Ten East. And they don't have the money, recruiting, or facilities to attract any of the top-5 (or event top-10) coaching options with no connection to MSU.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:52 PM ^
It's a sad day when a job with the Golden Gophers is more attractive than what Sparty has put together up to this point. Their fan base is hoping for Fleck, but I don't see why Fleck would leave now that he has something good going and is positioned well in the B1G West.
November 1st, 2019 at 1:03 PM ^
It's a sad day when a job with the Golden Gophers is more attractive than what Sparty has put together up to this point.
I'm really not feeling any sadness about this.
November 1st, 2019 at 1:13 PM ^
Looking past a few years of relative Sparty success and taking a broader view, I think Minnesota is objectively a program with more cachet.
November 1st, 2019 at 1:37 PM ^
If I was Fleck I'd never leave that job. Make several million a year and your only competition is Iowa and Wisconsin? Where do I sign?
November 1st, 2019 at 5:40 PM ^
But, but.....Nebraska! Scott Frost is going to turn them into a perennial powerhouse.......
November 1st, 2019 at 2:08 PM ^
I don't think MSU can afford to fire Dantonio. It's not just the cost of buying his contract out, but it would be unpopular with a good portion of their fanbase and boosters.
If Dantonio steps down voluntarily, he's going to want to pick his successor. He's been overly loyal to his assistant coaches and he's going to want to hang around the program. That probably means Mike Tressel. MSU loves to make in-house hires and Tressel would come cheaply.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:56 PM ^
I disagree. Mantonio has won enough that he can stay as long as he wants. Here's hoping he rides it til it's on life support.
November 1st, 2019 at 2:48 PM ^
Hospice is already there.
November 1st, 2019 at 4:06 PM ^
Need to absolutely run up the score and go for 2 after every TD. I'm assuming this will be Dantonio's last season. This seems like a good time for a fresh start for that program. He'll always be remembered as a smug prick though.
November 1st, 2019 at 11:53 AM ^
49-3 circa 2002 would be nice.
November 1st, 2019 at 12:59 PM ^
That was the year following Spartan Bob. It was a rare act of ultraviolence from Lloyd Carr.
November 1st, 2019 at 1:24 PM ^
Ah yes, the 2002 Blue Out Blowout!!
November 1st, 2019 at 6:16 PM ^
November 1st, 2019 at 12:44 PM ^
Give them a defeat without dignity?
November 1st, 2019 at 3:09 PM ^
A dominating 42-0 win would be nice, last years 21-7 win didn't do justice for the domination. Those years when msu dominated hoke and rod were humiliating, M needs to return the favor to dantonio for all his shit over the years
November 1st, 2019 at 11:47 AM ^
I am left to believe at this point that there is more to the unraveling of the MSU program under Dantonio than meets the eye. For whatever other things Dantonio is, he is not a bad football coach nor is he unintelligent There is no logical explanation for why he would have came back after last year, but not made one change of any significance to his staff in an effort to improve the team. Things have been rocky at State for a while not, it should not be, and actually apparently isn't, a surprise to Dantonio that he would be receiving serious criticism for the performance of the team this season.
Why then, would he coach this season without doing anything with his staff, including terminating and replacing assistant coaches and coordinators, when it was basically obvious that doing so would yield this very result? The Bachie test may be an indicator as to why. I am beginning to suspect that Michigan State's football program is, and has been, one of the dirtiest and most toxic in the country. The shear amount of internal issues on the staff and with personnel would suggest that once that onion is peeled back, it is going to be quite shocking as to how rotten it actually is. I an beginning to believe that Dantonio's seemingly illogical behavior with regard to retention of staff may be designed to whatever extent possible to be able to control the message regarding him and his program, and not have anymore disgruntled loose ends who would shine some light on how that program operates. They have one so far, and he is suing the shit out of the school and deposing Dantonio personally about issues within the program.
I don't think the next football coach at Michigan State is going to be tasked with simply trying to improve the on-field product, but instead that MSU is going to need a hard reset to essentially replace the entire culture of that football program. Despite Michigan State fans saying with a straight face that the local media here is out to get them, the local media has been protecting that program and Dantonio, specifically, for years. I think the Bachie thing is going to prove to be the tip of the iceberg as far as those issues go, and that it is not out of the realm of possibility that Dantonio will be forced out of that program before the end of the season.
November 1st, 2019 at 11:49 AM ^
Yes, I think you're on to something.
Keeping everyone close, and loyal, is probably the best way to prevent leaks.
November 1st, 2019 at 11:54 AM ^
Yeah...guys getting paid tend to stay quiet didn't even think about that
November 1st, 2019 at 12:01 PM ^
MSU has had the "circle the wagons" mentality for decades. Case in point, gymnastics coach Klages shaming those girls to keep quiet about Nassar over twenty years ago. The impending deposition by Dbagtonio should be interesting.
FYS!!!!!???