OT: human-monkey chimeras!
I'm enjoying the OT months. It's about the only time I have something to add.
I posted a few months back about Chinese scientists trying to make monkeys smarter, but there wasn't much information on why. Here's some 'shy'...
The most recent work on Alzheimer’s has been confined to using mice and rats as test subjects, but their brains are too different from ours. Scientists are now trying to make monkeys smarter so they can induce Alzheimer's quicker on a monkey than wait for a human to develop the disease and have better data than they can get from a rat brain.
Me, I'm all for it. Anything that improves quality of life or extends life is fine by me.
Of course there may be a downside to this...
"I'm sure nothing will go wrong."
Scary, scary OT stuff!
When's Kris Jenkins committing?
He did to the good guys at 11:30!
https://twitter.com/KrisJenkinsJr1/status/1146486748115066880
Anything to improve your life? Any limitations on that?
To be honest I'd draw the line at harming humans and beagles.
I got some bad news for you...
I am having a hard time staying drunk until the OT posts are over.... It is getting worse every day.
Wish i had alzheimers for the past 15 years.
How concerned should I be about genius monkeys relative to my level of concern about Army?
If your concern about Army isn't turned up to 11, then the potential recruiting violations should keep you sleepless at night.
What could go wrong? Plus we can torture more animals
Coming soon: Monkey butlers.
Being that you're already smarter than the average monkey, OP, be very very afraid.
I don't know. The jury is still out on that. Only got by at Michigan by employing the 'Infinite Monkey Theorem' for my term papers and was almost burned for plagiarizing Shakespeare...
Plagiarizing Shakespeare? I'd make a funny joke about you doing an essay on a battle in WW2 using Shakespearean language but I'm not very good at that. Guess I need to plagiarize more Shakespeare...
Or......………...
Maybe humans should realize that living to 100 lucidly is only genetically realistic for a very select few %.
“It’s a very ethically sensitive topic,” De Los Angeles admitted. It’s one of the reasons why he and his co-authors don’t propose doing human-ape chimeras, only human-monkey, because we’re more distantly related. Human-monkey beings, he said, “may not develop the level of human consciousness that people are afraid of.”
There is something fascinating and eerie about this at the same time actually. One thing that did stand out to me is the statement that any human-monkey chimera would be confined to life as a laboratory subject though. I am actually going to see if any of these papers are generally available - this might make good holiday weekend reading.
My favorite part of every zombie/pandemic trope: seems like there's always a scene where a room of scientists are patting themselves on the back for their brilliant discovery that will improve humanity.
Meanwhile, the camera pans to an angry monkey tearing his cellmate's eyes out of his skull.
Cut-shot to riots and mass panic in the streets...
The human monkey chimera
It's not really fair-a!
I mean, do they really dare-a?
It's enough to really scare ya
The human monkey chimera
You'll be tearin' out yer hair, yeah
The human monkey chimera
That's gonna be an error
This human monkey bidness
Is really not the shiznit
Just ask Marilyn & Cary
That shit got kinda hairy
We really should be wary
Doesn't sound too sanitary
Yer better off drunk on sherry
Or rollin in the hay with Mary
I hate 2 b contrary
But this ain't smart, not very
So Curb Your Enthusiasm, Larry!
(c) Honk If Ufer Meechigan 2019
Anybody want a peanut?
If that picture is our ultimate fate... all I have to say is that we probably deserve it.
All animal testing is wrong.
University of Michigan Policy Statement on Animal Research
The University of Michigan recognizes that scientific and medical knowledge developed through animal research has saved countless lives, has improved human and animal health, and has alleviated pain and suffering. The University supports judicious use of animals in research, education, and testing in the interests of human and animal welfare. The University of Michigan insists on humane and ethical treatment of any animals used in research, education, and testing.
The University recognizes its legal and ethical responsibilities to ensure that animals are not used needlessly and are spared all unnecessary pain and distress. To this end, the University adheres to all applicable federal, state, local, and institutional laws or guidelines governing animal research, and has maintained since 1962 a University-wide Laboratory Animal Medicine Program directed by veterinarians specialized in laboratory animal medicine.
The University’s Committee on Use and Care of Animals provides supervision, coordination, and review of every project proposed to include the use of animals. This Committee includes scientists, non-scientists, and public members to encourage representation of diverse viewpoints. This Committee has the responsibility to approve, to require modification of, or to prohibit a project’s use of vertebrate animals. Well-established procedures, similar to those used to monitor human subject research, are used for reviewing and monitoring animal research, education, and testing projects conducted under University auspices. Project proposals are scrutinized carefully by the review Committee and by a veterinary staff member specialized in laboratory animal medicine to ensure that humane use guidelines are followed and that animals receive professional veterinary medical care.
The University continues to fulfill its obligation to ensure that professional and technical personnel or students who work with animals are qualified through training and experience to perform these tasks humanely and in a scientifically appropriate manner. The University provides training in humane techniques of animal care and use to accomplish these purposes.
University of Michigan Committee on Use and Care of Animals: Approved, January 1989; Reviewed and Approved, July 1999
President’s Cabinet: Reviewed, February 1989; OVPR Approved, February 2000
Having been an observer in more than a few labs around the country, I'll add that Michigan has managed to require a more humane approach to any testing than other leadership labs. It's possible some university has struck a better balance while maintaining rigorous research results, but I haven't seen it.
Insert picture of adorable black lab with a Michigan shirt on.
No need to make monkeys smarter when people are getting dumber, I'm sure it'll be even soon
I wonder what kind of gravy a monkey with elevated intelligence would prefer?
Homemade, the monkey will have a trained human make it for him of course.
You forgot to add:
"No Humans were hurt during the filming of this message". and,
"I'm a monkey and I approve of this message (and running for President)"..............................
Human-Monkey... Why don’t we just shorten it to Honkey?