chance of bowl: 13.6%
I would have pop evil autoplay, but in MIDI format. Also, the banner would be a scrolling marquee reminding everyone how BOURBAN MEIJER SUCKS and SPARTY NO LOL.
if I were Brian I would have an awesome tailgate section with meet-up info. this would then allow me to photobomb crazy-faced in many many pictures. later I world post these for my own amusement.
I would hire a full-time legal team.
SHOTGUN ON CHIEF COUNSEL
that providing insightful comment may get you 1 point....and random F***k Ohio's are worth at least two depending on where they fall in the response time line. Mathlete, time for analysis!
If I was Brian for one day I would definitely blow $54486 on booze and women. It would be one hell of a day.
If I were Brian for a day, I'd have his, er, my wife cook me an awesome meal, then I'd rock her world, and before my time and the painkiller high were over, type up something incoherent entitled Unverified Voracity goes ALL NIGHT LONG, filled with drug-induced Hoke photoshops, muppets, brunettes, Scarlett Johansson and Kate Upton, MOAR BEWBS, and BOOM! post'd.
i second whoever had the idea for a private chat system so we can all cyber with each other
Pos-ing and negging people was helpful at times. It also started a lot of arguments about "WHY ARE YOU NEGGING MY POST?!?!?!" I wouldn't be surprised if Brian got sick of that nonsense. The discussions about pos-ing and negging have largely dissipated except for posts like this, and eventually they'll probably come close to disappearing.
Also if I were Brian, I would do away with some of the front page content. It probably drives traffic up a little bit, but I used to read everything on the front page...and now I just read most of Brian's posts and most of Ace's posts. No offense to the Mathlete or the Michigan Museday or the Dear Diary posts, but I just don't have enough time to sort through all the front page content. And sometimes when I go back to post on a front page topic, it's already been bumped to the bottom of the page or off the front page.