My son is on the spectrum. Still struggling with getting him to understand the connection between "Buy it now" and "you're gonna eat nothing but cheerios until Friday".  3 weeks ago, I logged into my work computer, checked my Gmail and saw "thank you for your purchase" from some Camera store in New Jersey.  An $859 camera, to be exact.  Apparently, I'd forgotten to shut all my browser windows the night before, and Amazon cant do the ol' "auto logout" if you don't close the page.  

Welp, this morning I looked, and the $927.72 is FINALLY back in my account.  So Michigan 92- MSU 7. MSU has 72 yards of total offense

All statistical analyzes need to be thrown out for this game, just know that they will try to hurt the quarterback so I hope we pass more than JJ runs.

Never bet on crypto. Never bet on FYS.

Michigan 1,432,221 - 0 Sparty

Bryan and Raj, you're the very best.

Raj, twenty-odd years ago I had written a load of ad music that GM didn't want to have to track talent payments on, because their dealer groups weren't properly reporting the ad buys. Their solution at the time was to record overseas. I was asked to choose a studio in Europe, line up the musicians, and do the final recording and mixing there. A large budget was offered.

I asked, "Why not just go to Nashville, we can record non-union talent there, it's perfectly legal?"

The guy from the ad agency said, "Dude. What don't you understand about Free Trip To Europe?"

Somehow, I saw his point. I decided WTF, let's record in Paris. I booked a gigantic studio there, and hired musicians to fly over from London (the French weren't doing much rock at the time, and the clients wanted rock).

Though it was summer, Paris was going through a cold spell. It was truly unpleasant walking from the hotel to the studio. I decided to buy a baseball hat. While I was at it, I figured I needed more underpants.

I stopped in a small shop on the Rue de Whatever near the studio, walked in, picked up a baseball hat with a logo I didn't recognize (it said D&G, what did I know), and a few packages of underpants. I threw them down on the counter.

The person behind the counter said, "That'll be umpty-zillion francs." What did I know from exchange rates? My head was still creating charts mentally because we had to change key, I didn't bother to do the math.

"Great," I said, handed over my credit card, and continued my walk to the studio, bag in hand.

The sessions went great; I'd hired the best players in London, folks who'd toured and recorded with my heroes in music. After a week of joy-joy, I got home.

D&G turned out to be a little known company at the time called Dolce & Gabbana. This unremarkable baseball hat cost me $400. The underpants were actually $85 each. I'd spent silly money on cotton underpants and a baseball hat.

Your story about the chinos really hit home. Thanks!

Michigan, Umpty-zillion (in French, I think it's all metric, right?); MSU Sieben (that's French, too, isn't it?)

Dear Dabblers & Chiselers, defying the laws of logic and of physics—and of the law!—somehow you're BOTH right. 

Your keyboard to God's eyes, Raj.

The Sparty FFFF is hilarious 

thanks for making my morning guys....I'll never look at my pants the same again!

This should not be a contest. But it is a rivalry game and MSU's Superbowl.

My only concern is Michigan plays it too conservative, takes its foot off the pedal, or plays too safe in the Red Zone (you have to try to get in before the 15 yd line imo, otherwise the field gets too compressed which is what MSU wants)...

Close in the first half and Michigan pulls away in the second...similar to PSU... the board will be in meltdown, but the final score will have Michigan ahead by 13 points or more.

With Bryan here. Can UM win by 23+? Sure.

Will they? I wouldn't bet on it. 

Further, I'd sooner bet on an MSU upset than UM winning by 23 or more. This game is almost always funky and I actually do think that MSU is underrated in most aspects outside of their secondary. The problem there being that UM doesn't exactly want to toss it around the yard. They have a habit of being a bit stubborn with the run game at times and I think when healthy MSU is ok at stopping it 

Their offense will likely be a lot of Reed, a guy I think is wildly underrated. I like their TE. Their QB is almost better when running for his life and throwing arm punts.

I hope I'm wrong but I don't like that spread.

I was thinking a UM 95 MSU 10 score would be appropriate. 

I have lived through far too many horrors at the hands of the couch burning degenerates east of the capital, (in 2009 at their stadium a sorority chick attempted to push my 7 1/2 month pregnant wife down… grabbed said chick by throat and berated her a loud rant of profane insults that would make a sailor blush… almost got mobbed by the crowd… flashed my badge which was like sunlight to vampires to those vile brigands… they retreated enough that we were able to get to our seats…) I have a story about the deranged savages 5 of 6 trips there. Last year a drunk teen or 20’s scrawny waif of a man jumped out of nowhere spewing threats, taunts and profanities at me and my family (wife, son 19, daughter 17, son 11), perplexed by our ignoring him, he raised his fist and charged me! I dodged the punch and his 5-10 150 lb frame collided with my 5-10 280 lb frame and he crumpled to the ground, rolled over got up and then started swearing at my 11 year old challenging him to a fight. Obviously outnumbered by drunken marauders (and no longer an off duty boy in blue), and outgunned we conducted a hasty retreat.

That being said Raj’s prediction will be much closer to the actual outcome. The 3 being the closest to dignity they will come in his prediction. I think 69-6 with a garbage time TD with a failed 2 point conversion, because you know losing 69-7 is embarrassing, but 69-8 is practically a tie.

My 12 year son Tate (yes he was named after that Tate), is going with me and he is chomping at the bit for some payback for those 2 awful trips to EL where he was nearly assaulted both times almost exactly 12 years apart. For some reason he doesn’t remember the first assault as well as the 2nd… fetuses amirite!

I’m old enough to have seen enough games where unranked MSU teams have beaten highly-ranked and not infrequently unbeaten Michigan teams that I never assume a game like tonight’s will be a blowout gimme. I think a close, one-score nailbiter that can go either way is just as likely as a blowout Michigan win.

26-24 Michigan

As a litigator who has to clean up the messes created by insufficiently prescient transactional lawyers, I loved this column.  But I do not share Punt's pessimism.  Our guys will be ready to handle all of the unexpected weird, bizarre, underhanded bullshit that MSU can throw at our team.

Go Blue!

There’s zero chance I would have purchased those pants. 

1. Appreciate the subtle Ghostbusters quote BISB.  Everything happens for a reason.

2.  Thank you for using 'Bespoke" in proper context.  Now can that fucking overused-poser-term die in a fire and never be uttered again?

Work with both kinds and certainly prefer the transactional ones as long as they have half a brain. I’m with Raj on this one. 62-7 M. 

Chef's kiss as to how Raj's section "paid off" at the end.  Both good reads as always.

You guys delight once again with clever writing and a couple of great twists to make the stories relevant to the game.

I think you guys have upped your game this year.  Thanks again for taking the time to do these.

Hold the crypto. 

Wear the chinos.

Lose the Transitions lenses.

Leave the gun.

Take the cannolis. 

Seth. I’m a transactional law compadre. I get we gird our loins to expect the unexpected; we move the needle in spite of uneven territory; we don’t kill the deal, we close the deal. 

You bulleted this year’s available data, which is the transactional lawyer’s flex threshold for oppositional outcomes. I fear you let “course of performance” cloud your judgment. 

You let yourself evaluate this team based on prior years’ apparent course of performance; but it’s a different team with different starters, different stats, which you knew illustrated one side outrageously superior to the other. Even to represent MSU is admit they gonna lose, and negotiate by how much.

Punting for the best favorable outcome of the opponent…they’re getting whooped by 22 points across 3 respected websites dedicated to sports bookkeeping. 

In your shoes, penning this article, the worst case scenario I’d ever scribe to is whether Michigan wouldn’t thread the needle on a final drive “f u” TD pass to go up 30. Which they literally went for and to your credit, missed. They won by 22.